growth
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I think I’m growing
I’m not sure
I’m aware of my lack of direction in this world
I want to grow
I feel the time begin to tick
The black matter in me continues to grow
I feel it continue to spread all around
This nervousness, fear, and hystericalness
That continues to go around me, surrounding
Was lost now I am found
Was broken but now I am repaired
Was hurt but now I am healing
Was dark but now I am light
Was scared but now I am unafraid
Was strong but now I am stronger
I talked to the sun, moon, and stars before I reached heaven just in case you left a message for me to address it, I felt your presence like a gift left by the universe that was unexpected, I caught the lesson so I undressed it and redirect it lik
I talked to the sun, moon, and stars before I reached heaven just in case you left a message for me to address it, I felt your presence like a gift left by the universe that was unexpected, I caught the lesson so I undressed it and redirect it lik
I talked to the sun, moon, and stars before I reached heaven just in case you left a message for me to address it, I felt your presence like a gift left by the universe that was unexpected, I caught the lesson so I undressed it and redirect it lik
i wish i could feel
so that i can cry
or laugh
or smile for real
cause right now it feels fake
with walls too thick
and arches too high
soon it should be bound to break
Sometimes I feel like I don't give myself the credit that I deserve,
Because I always get back on track when things get tough, when others would not have the nerve.
Here's a tree that only I knew,
Its roots deep in my heart it grew,
A symbol of my hidden truth,
A friend that saw me through my youth.
Its leaves were like my every dream,
I am no longer going to let you get in my head and make me feel like there is something wrong with me,
All because you can't see all of the potential that I have and all of the things that I can be.
I am not going to lie, sometimes it is hard to be a good person,
Because everything that is going on around you can cause you to worsen.
When you are going through something, it can be very easy to turn cold,
Do you ever get scared of not knowing what you are capable of?
And this can be in every aspcect in your life; whether it be work, school, goals, or even love?
Flying to Become Impossible. I'm Universally Unlimited. Obliterating obstacles & obtaining My full potentials.
In a rush of people sometimes there are a few that get knocked down.
They fall.
Get kicked,
Trampled,
Bloodied,
Bruised,
Lost,
Think different. With my hands to my heart and my heart open wide, Think different. It’s the way I️ try but everything seems to coincide going side by side the only way I️ know to survive I️m trying, to think different.
It took me a long time to realize that sometimes you have to completely fall apart to beome the best version of you,
And that even though you try so hard to control it, there is only so much that you can do.
This must be GROWTHIt's neither about an increase in size,nor the comeliness of my thighs,a lesson on puberty,or how time flies. It's an enlarging on the inside,though unseen by mere eyes,but cannot be denied,I speak of a strength supplied. See, t
Tonight I will write a happy poem
A poem about how I survived the day
Or maybe about the day I have intended to survive tomorrow
Or the good memories
Roses are grown.
Grown to remind us.
Us who always wanted to know the answer.
Answer to all our problems.
Problems that have arisen because of our faults.
Faults we wish we could undo.
i met the devil last night
she wore my face
and had slinked on my body like a coat
she looked like myself,
though a few years younger
For the past year or so, I have not been feelling like who I used to be,
And no matter how hard I tried, I was not okay when I just tried to be me.
I kept doubting myself, and I became someone that I did not recognize,
Sunny Days
Ice cream
Long bike rides.
Giggles ringing through the air.
It was fun.
A time of simplicity where worries were few and far between.
The kindness that draws A spirit closer to home
The mindlessness, flaws That makes us our own
Are all part of people Those lost and those found
None reaching the steeple But all heaven bound
Fury comes when least expected
Usually triggered by your unaccepted
Heart and soul, your person itself
And knowing that you are below someone else
All my life I fit right in
But you took perfection and dropped a pin
Your sudden clatter changed my fate
I was Heaven bound but at Satan’s gate
I want you for you
All hands in
No second thoughts
You my ride or die
You the boss
I been lackin
And slackin
I stopped smiling because I didn’t want my face to look anything but thin.
I stopped laughing because he told me all I was, was annoying while he was in a place where he should never have been.
It's the way of your laugh,
to the things that all past.
It's more, it's a testimant,
of growth that we lacked.
It's the left to the right,
when it's right to the left.
It's the process we go through,
I've had friends
Invisible, and solid
Some, and then none
One, and only one,
Some who loved to please me
While others dared to deceive me
Those who've looked into my eyes and lied
Pain is like snow.
You look up—
And no matter how hard you squint,
You can't quite see where it's coming from.
From time to time it may stop,
But in reality,
It's rushing at you,
All at once.
Imagine being picked
Like petals from a flower
Someone
holding you,
wanting you,
wishing for you
Only to be pricked by the thorn
And watch the blood fall
Mercilessly
I am from the cold worries of winter,
From that gnawing permanence
And the rejoice of warm spring.
I am from the two venus violets.
(Mulberry to Sunset Orange,
Confined in these lines, how much movement is mine
How much deviance is permissible without going too far as to be
Unacceptable
Unaddressable
Unprofessional
Floating on a cloud in my own lane. Dirt in my corner pocket, some things never change. Can’t see the bigger picture, for the frame. Growth, being stagnant or death either way nothing remains the same.
Without us, I lived as though I didnt give 2 fucks.
There was no we, no possibility of an us.
There was silence, no arguing, no bickering, no cussin', no fuss.
Grip me tighter, Im drifting from afar
He has his hooks in me, saying no is the hard part.
I need your kind of love to rebuild my broken heart.
Don't give up on me before we've given it a fair start.
Deja Vuvu, I'm alone and you're out doing you.
Only difference is that there are no tears being shed over the absence of you.
Heart numb from repeating the same things needed, but dismissed.
I respect the Animal Kingdom, most live in zoo's. They reflect the creatures within me, within you. Have love for animals, but don't live like animals or you'll end up caged or shitted on in your own home.
You have overstayed your welcome and you're not even here.
Failing to pay the free rent for the space you invaded
I know it’s unfamiliar, but for once be sincere.
I know the cost is and will be severe.
I'm reminiscing being back in Mexico sitting on a beach, I was Alone.
The most at peace I have ever been, Alone.
Coolin’, Not stressing myself over troubles that been handed to me or those self-inflicted, Alone.
I frown and adjust my crown. My spirit shattered, but made no sound.
Counting my blessings, but my soul is down.
A sadness so deep, so profound.
Losing weight by the minute, I'm already down 80 pounds.
And we are at it again, why do I go back to him out of all men.
Just to sit and pretend, like I love him again.
Like he is actually a friend, but worse than letting a stray dog move in.
you tried to teach me that I am made of air
quiet, docile, not to be noticed
it wasn't until you tried to burn me at the stake
that I found out I am made of
Although I am the product of my enviornment where 16 is the legal age to get knocked up around here
our mind frame is a little offset so don't you even think about respect until you get locked up around here
beauty is perpetually imperative to my existence.
i pride myself on the fact that i can view even the ugliest things as breathtaking and groundbreaking,
i seem to fall in and out of love at a slightly disturbing speed.
my lovers are like puzzle pieces.
i'm always trying to find my perfect fit --
sky of clouds
looms heavy over my head
like the weight of your love
pushing down on my shoulders.
streams of milky sugar
line the cotton-candy sunset
and it's a bittersweet feeling.
She went to the park today, like she does everyday
Her hair is in pigtails, her hair is finally long enough for them
She asked to go to the zoo later, she loves those animals
Her smile can light up any room
Staple gun to my head
Pin it closed the gaps of dread
Leaving out the slips of blood
Creeping forward pools of red
Wash my hands are never clean
Sometimes the steps
That you need to take
In order to move forward
In order to grow
In order to make a change
She clings to me; like a button on my plaid shirt.
Sewn in strategically.
Gradually withering away in her fibers
But holding on for the life of her.
My hands are soaked in sweat but I cant interrupt her steady breath.
We are taught
In this life
To keep breathing
To continue with moving motion
Of our hands correlating with our feet
parading helplessly through
the streets of wherever it is we call home.
It’s lonely to be the first bloom
You wake from a long sleep
Excited to see the new world
Winter snow melting away
Revealing the long-hidden green
Only to find yourself all alone
i am no stranger to controversy and autumn.
i find peace in changing colors and falling into the arms of
women still learning to hold newborns correctly.
Here are two souls both now intertwined,
And united they have weathered alot.
They've handled it well, not loosing their minds
But that is not saying others have not.
Let me take you back to the moment the most important person who inspires me first entered this world eighteen years ago on a late Monday night.
I find it hard to believe that I am loved.
well, I know that I am loved... but am i loved?
loved enough for you to pick me over someone else?
Plant a kiss
On whoever’s forehead you can
Without awakening
The more goodbyes the better,
But too many
On those who care too much
You grabbed my wrist,
Dragged me towards you.
A deep purple formed there to
Remind me of you throughout the following weeks.
She inspires me
in the way she walks
how gracious her voice is as she talks
the magic she carries and shares wherever she goes
She inspires me
in the way she walks
how gracious her voice is as she talks
the magic she carries and shares wherever she goes
A drop falls and shatters
on the surface of the lake
as I stare between the rippled waves
and ponder each mistake.
I peer down at the water;
it peers back up at me.
Whilst mowing on a tractor I was listening to my audiobook.
"Millionaire Success Habits," it was, and had me hooked.
The soft and gentle tones of the narrator described...
“Drum Major, is your band ready?”
A booming voice said over the intercom of the stadium,
I turn around on my conducting ladder, facing the judges and the crowd, and out of me shouts the words,
a flower,
the emblem of growth
known to blossom and flourish
has been trampled
she struggles to grow anew
all willpower flattened
When the rain falls on to the asphalt
And petrichor smells erupt,
I'll remember the cloudy days spent in my room,
My mind full of inspirations and ambition
To create a beautiful painting.
i.
Osmotic processes do not shield the irony
and yesterday
when i returned from the bane of my existence and the meaning of medieval torture
I love to look back on the simple times. The simple wonders of life. The lack of fear, anxiety; the lack of responsibility. A total freedom to run around and smell the flowers, play in the trees and messy up my clothes.
my love, that singular beauty, is all mine
touched with golden splendor of the gods
sweet as honey, rich as cherry wine
a lively sprite who frolics in the woods
I was walking
Then a bird from the gardens whispered a sin that has been kept a secret deep down
Somewhere to be profound
Today I’m talking about the experience of growing
It’s hard. Learning to evolve. Learning to be strong
But I am vital. I am loved. And today, I am glowing.
I let a lot of childhood trauma
haunt me.
Pain, it was apart of my DNA
I learned to use it for survival.
Confusion, I was use to the illusions in my
head.
this is an ocean i am not prepared for
i am trying to hang on
grasping at things and people
that float by but
they grab back at me
driving me deeper into the murky waters
where i do not want to go.
Every night a little girl faces a different battle.
She's questioning her worth and what her family would do without her;
Contemplates to run away but her spirit tells her to stay;
Old age showed up one day
Smiling,
the curves of her lips held softer edges,
Her hands were delicately lined,
An ancient wire system,
Still alive,
The woven fabric of steel grey
I live in a world where everybody lies
I live in a world where if you do anything you get despised
I live in a world where I do everything alone
And I've made it this far so look how fast I've grown
It’s the sigh of relief after you hold your breath.
Growth.
Suffocating because I chose to be rooted to my problems.
Growth.
No one can make your dreams come true
A thought provoking message from me to you
If I want to make an imprint on society
Soy un viento Fuerte pero suave, fluyendo a través de la vida Callado como un susurro Soy el sol Radiante pero a veces apagado, desanimado de la vida Roto como una luz titilante Soy un árbol Alto pero inseguro, temblando con el caos de la v
To wake from your sleep
With groggy, foggy eyes
And to know of what you dream
'T is something you keep.
To wake from your daze
Listening to the voices
I notice those faces
I remember the apathy.
The uncoupling of my mind from my body,
looking out the window as the Toyotas and Fords bombinated by in the dark.
The top heavy tour bus rocked gently,
When I was 7
Mama pulled me aside
I say “Yes Mama”
She started, “My baby,”
Which I no longer was
“How would you feel if..”
My world had ended
“Your Dad and I separated”
Growing.
Most may say that it relates to one's height,
but it's much more than what you can physically see with your sight.
Growing.
It leads to more maturity.
Much like my father,
I refuse to admit to my flaws
I evade revealing any of my own weaknesses.
Much like my father,
I am stubborn.
Swirling, swaying, spinning in time to the blaring music
I close my eyes
When they open, I’m a little girl
Food was always a source of happiness Eating a fun pastime Until it wasn't Until it became a fear-filled activity Until it overtook me and I lost who I was If I could go back I'd tell her that it's okay I'd tell her to love herself, love food, lov
Like a small seed beginning to sprout from the soil
A story of many chapters begins
The plot of a life's story cannot spoil
As the small, naive child widely grins
Small and innocent I may appear,
But when angry, I'm able to strike fear.
Rage isn't a righteous practice,
but for me it became a common habit.
I seem to loose all demeanor and control.
Always one to fall in line,
I learned early to obey.
Silence and respect protect
Against the everyday.
Time was something as a child that I really couldn’t convince.
It was a complex phenomenon that I really didn’t care to believe.
Time is forever on the run.
Untouched and pure, your bright serenity
Is beauty, shining rays of special gold.
This light is you, the newborn entity,
A piece of Universe’s light made bold.
The way we see the lotus fails us.
Quite deceitful isn't it?
how the aromatic petals exist upon the foundation of a muddy underside.
Quite transformative isn't it?
Why couldn't the other kids notice?
Why couldn't they see the ugliness that was beyond the playground?
Why was it that only she could see that her mother was crying, alone, and tired?
I realized I was no longer a kid,
When I left the sea
The sand leaving scratched memories,
Finding a playmate in a flower, tree, sunlight
Showering the sky with love for the rain that pours over
Toes, into cupped
My memory is marked by a beating of the heart
One beat stay alive, yet one beat to shut it down
When I think back, every memory is in blue
A fun filled childhood
that consists of giggles, hugs and cartoons
A happy kid with no worries,
what a wonderful time it has been.
My family is joyful which makes this time most relishing
He seemed odd to me.
That’s what I was told to see.
“Don’t let him near you”
Now I see the truth,
Does not matter who you love;
Just know I love you.
My heart grew bright
As I saw my life
Change for the right
When I married my wife.
The bills grew bigger,
The days grew hectic,
School got harder,
But life was less frantic.
I am from
dead leaves
on oak trees
to green grass
covered with trash.
I am from
chimingchas
every Sunday
to hearing
"Hey! Go hit
the hay!"
“Nobody can give you anything that you don’t already have."
We are sitting on parallel twin beds,
But I have a kettle of tea on the stove
Her bulky Asics angered the uneven pavement below her feet.
A crunch released with every step.
Two backpacks heavily rest on her aching shoulders.
She was not okay.
The older you get the more callous you become
Yet magic started for me at 23,
Balloons and bubbles were a thing at 30
At 60, my heart became wide open ratting me out for every feeling;
little tattle tale.
In her eyes the world started off small and to her surpriseit was a sin to grow oldAge wasn't the purpose of her discovery, rather than the wisdom that came with no recovery
He sits so close,
but the silence turns the inches into miles and
every slight noise causes an avalanche in my chest
as I wait for him to say something.
Anxious Reticence.
I have changed so much.
In the beginning, things are simple.
Food, hold, change, sleep.
Development of the young mind growing curious,
an incubus of knowledge begging growth.
In the beginning, things are simple.
Food, hold, change, sleep.
Development of the young mind growing curious,
an incubus of knowledge begging growth.
I am by Christopher White
I am a fisherman with a rod
I hear the water beating the soft rocks that lie in streams
Every petal painted pink and prime,Green leaves arranged with perfect symmetry,A few bright shades with which to tell a life,And yet a yearning in the purity. Structure formed and inside wholly planned,Meticulously minding every speck,Ideal distri
I see the world differently.
I grow taller and everything is smaller,
But truly the world seems bigger
And badder. The world is a mess.
How can I do anything to make it better?
Mosquitoes and boiling heat--no scalding heat.
The matchbox of a room that was now mine was just that. Smacking at my arms to stop the mosquitoes from eating me alive, I was unimpressed.
Since being grown up,
I read more now.
Not just for fun but,
to learn lore and how
this world is run.
This all began in 2015.
When Trump ran,
and I was eighteen,
I was aware that life was tough
I believed some people exaggerated the truth
Here and then though, you face the truth
My first semester at college was troublesome
I never thought of my weight as bad
until you told me it was
I never thought of my skin as unpleasant
until you told me it was
I never thought of my height as problematic
Poetry is true
But what if I'm running circles around you
We're caught in our love letters and lost graces
We're lost in thought as we chase stars
mingling with each other's bodies and finding
Poetry is true
But what if I'm running circles around you
We're caught in our love letters and lost graces
We're lost in thought as we chase stars
mingling with each other's bodies and finding
They say the Apple doesn't fall far from the tree,
But I have tried so hard to just be free.
Trapped in the life that was killing me.
Moving On
My dear,
Your scent still lingers on my clothing
so on lonely days I make sure to breathe you in, zip you up and pull you close.
in May I cut
my hair as short
as I dared
and stood before
you with bared
neck. and then
suddenly
I didn't anymore resemble
the little girl who sat on your lap,
looking up,
Small town girl
Big City dreams
The world's open seas
One door shuts, one door opens
Watch her grow
From Disney to Netflix, From velcro to tie
From parents to friends
From a child to adult
Princesses are perfect, they glitter just so
At least that’s what I thought, at five years old
I wanted a knight, who gleamed and shone
To climb up my tower and carry me home
To the one who missed out,
December 1st, 2001
Lovely Lillies sway at a distance of her hospital bed
She sees mamma on the corner smiling as bright as diamonds
Hears grandma calling her a sweet Marigold
Do we ever think about the things we create? The small things and the large things that we drag with us through time, the phases that we promoted that we thought would last forever in our minds
I don't think you understand,
That this is who I am.
You don't see,
That this is how I feel I need to be.
Because if you knew me,
As something other than you know,
Would you want me?
Waking up to my truths - even the flaws are gorgeous
I get obsessive and I get insecure. Sometimes I find myself unbalanced, quickly unraveling at the folds.
I may occasionally lose touch, or fall out of love.
The psychological feel of advancement
A portal to a new beginning
Using darkness to create and mold my light
There once was a boy who cared what people thought.
He thought about other people’s thoughts quite a lot.
What he really wanted, the boy struggled to know,
This morning I took a hike on a trail I once considered my stomping grounds when I was a child, and the reality set in
!THIS IS ALREADY ON MY PROFILE!
As I wake up,
I notice that I am in a bed
With somebody leaning over me
Saying good morning sleepy head
Wow that's very lame
I know, grow up
As I wake up,
I notice that I am in a bed
With somebody leaning over me
Saying good morning sleepy head
Wow that's very lame
I know, grow up
I hope this day isn't the same
But hey, I am awake
In the beginning,
When everything tasted
And smelled
And simply was
Too sweet,
I thought I deserved
Nothing.
I thought I deserved
To conform to what was given
The walls of my crib I once climbed out of,
The door to my room I once opened,
The fence to my house I once hopped over,
The walls I've made have been climbed over,
They've been blown up,
Slowly deteriorating.
It was 9 o’clock
I was 9
My mom said
“come on girls, I guess it’s time”
She sat us down
and held her breath
and with a big sigh
She looked at us and said
Crying, crying, crying.
Looking straight at the barren white wall.
My roommate was nowhere to be found,
So I knew I could let it all out.
But why, why, why
Was I crying so damn much?
One Day
One day we were kids playing with dolls
One Accident
One accident forces us to grow up
One Year
One year to spend with a loved one as a caretaker
One Responsibility
you don’t really know me
you know what I put on Instagram, and what I tweet about on Twitter or what I hide behind these Snapchat filters.
but truthfully you don’t really know me
I returned home from Atlantis
with new armor and a new head —
blades still sharp from the last stoning —
feeling very nearly a tourist in my own land.
“forget your perfect offering
just ring the bells that still can ring
there is a crack in everything
that’s how the light gets in”
-Leonard Cohen
Off you go, daughter
To a land of your own
For you and yours
To glow, and grow
I love you, and I love you too
When I was young and less decisive
I could never make a decision to save my life
I would never express an opinion for fear that people will not like it
Each start
is a chance
to look
into the depths
of one's self
in ways that we
don't ever see
in the day to day
lives that we live
only though watching
what we do
I've come to fear the hours of 7 to 9,
as they bring with them gray and mournful moments.
They bring longing and foggy loneliness
from outside, most days.
From crawling to walking
And from walking, running
Maturity came in every shape
From Ethiopia to America
From my first kiss
sixteen
Lips on lips, never felt more sure,
that I'd give myself up and make me your own.
The sunlight could not compare
to the glistening specks of hazel;
In my eighth grade head,
I dreamt of the next year,
All the new friends I would make,
And the old ones I’d hold dear.
I started school with thrill,
It was a foolish mistake to think that I could escape from you.Even if I wanted to,You seemed to lurk in the shadows.In the dark I could hear your laughter;Knowingly mocking my vulnerability.
I hadn’t realized I had grown.
I feel mostly the same.
I look mostly the same.
But I think something has changed.
Blonde hair in pigtails
and those curious blue eyes.
She lived in a fairytale
Dad's joy and pride.
One day he left home
she didn't understand.
Mom said it had been coming
A time or two they had rolled under the bed,
through the closets, around in my head.
Tired and worn, they had seen so much.
Pain, hurt, love, friendship and such.
A time had come to put them to rest,
The bridge to maturity is the one I've never wanted to cross
I love feeling younger, in my childhood is where I choose to be lost
Responsibilities are too much work, I dont like to stress
Feather light touches,
blink and they’re gone.
I used to watch flowers in the early Spring bloom,
unfurling the curl of their petals in a yawn
It took the young lion a long time to understand
That his mane doesn’t grow from the strength of his hand.
It grows not because of age, it doesn’t matter the time
But it grows on wisdom, it’s the strength of his mind.
You cannot change the world if you always stay the same
People won't like it but you cannot seem to explain
You chose a new lane and now you feel sane
Like a flower bright and tall
Surrounded by weeds
But shines and never hides
Making it through
Being pulled down to doom
As Someone Grows Big,
You Never See What Changes
You Only See Change
Yes, You May Get Big,
But You Only See Changes
Once One Has Done Grown
Simplicity is the beginning,
It is easy,
Nothing to stress about
But one mustn't stay there for too long
there’s this girl i used to know.
her name flows blue inside of me-
she was so afraid to show,
who she once was in front of me-
I balanced my back
Flat.
In looong grass.
Felt the tickle of butterflies landing on my tummy
And with the dandelions that sway in the field
I remember deciding I was awesome, and that
was all that mattered.
I remember thinking others were bossy,
Crying because I was called the same.
My heart flutters and bangs its way throughout my body.
Adrenaline courses through my veins and your hands trace it out of my skin.
Hot breath in my mouth and out yours.
I'm nervous
I'm anxious
I'm a panicked soul
Oh if only peace would find these shaking pains
Pulsing the coldness through my veins
They tell us that growing up is supposed to be the best time of our lives.
We figure out who we are, what we stand for, what matters to us.
But with this growth, comes painful lessons and tears and anger and hurt.
Constantly surrounded by weeds
weeds of doubt and depression
they slowly consumed my nourishment
for them to win is for me to lose
My life
growth: forced, quick, and sudden.
The first born; I am made to showcase
possibility,
hope,
and opportunity.
Once upon a time there was a sad little girlwho sat at the swings alonewaiting for someone to occupy the empty swing next to herso they'd swing togetherand she'd feel a little less lonely
I used to be selfish , narrow minded I never knew what it was like to truly leave my own wishes behind n- till my grandma was ill and crows took flight I hated my sister all my life, but I realized
My short, silky pigtails were brushing
through the wind while you pushed me on the swings,
since my little legs couldn’t swing myself.
Purple used to be my favorite color
Until the blank canvas of my skin
Was tainted by the purple marks
That reminded me that the love I thought I had perceived
Was never the love that I received
Its trapped in a cage
With gaps between the poles
She’s diligently studying the gaps
But
Its belly is too wide
Its beak is too large
College is right around the corner
IB, AP, everything's all behind me now
Tuition and money got real, but how?
Childhood gone, adulthood's an order
Gonna be living on my own
In the heart of the Bay Area
There's a lost little girl with a head full of curls
And the weight of the world on her shoulders
But her story is colder
I don’t know if I’ve changed for the better or the worse
but I’m not the same person that I’ve been.
I don’t know what I wanted
Until I was fourteen I felt fine--
Good, great, and better than
I ever knew I could feel because in the moment,
I’ve never liked to drink milk,
granite I’m lactose intolerant, I’ve never liked to drink milk.
I was always told that milk will give me healthy bones and a pretty smile,
I wish you could truly see me,
Before you saw the vessel that carries me.
I wish my heart would introduce itself,
Before you knew my name.
I wish you’d feel my soul before you laid beside me.
the night sky pours over us
like a cup of coffee
no cream
we lay on the grass
without a care in the world
in this moment
all we have is each other
and i've never been so fulfilled
There's a line between boy and man.
Not a line on the face or a furrow in the hand.
The sides are divided but only thinly so,
borders knocked down by what you do and know.
I could no longer order off a kid’s menu at a sea resort
Now that I was ten
It seemed almost tragic then
To have my childhood cut short
Never to be seen again.
My dear sister,
How much I've grown for you.
When the harsh reality of the world tried to beat us down
I shielded you,
I’m so..sad
All my life I’ve never been satisfied
With me
Abuse and control seizing my quiet soul
I couldn’t let go
Rest ripped from me
I fought fathers for a lifetime
she grew up not being able to say no
and this made her anxiety grow.
from a young age, she wanted to give people what they wanted and it wasn’t any different when he caressed her thigh and took what was left of her,
Step one
Look up to your brother he's in your corner
And has a back when you've got none, don't let him down
I'm moving forward in life.
I need to take the advice.
There's a voice in the back of my head, checking it twice.
Make the right decisions, so that I'll avoid collision.
Just through the past few years,
I have shed a lot of tears.
There were some, in both rain and shine,
So here are a few things I learned from those hard to get through times:
It has been a long time
Since the sun smiled,
Honored in the corners of my pictures by the yellowest crayon.
It has been a long time
There were always those small moments:
The first time I drove myself to a friends
The first time I told my mom I was going to be my friends’ DD
You love have brought along
new ways in which I view myself.
I was once selfish and yearning for acceptance but now I know I am not
the only one who matters.
You make me selfless.
It is bittersweet.
I miss taking you to eat
and I miss rubbing on your feet.
I miss having someone to trust
and to be vulnerable with and to lust
after..
You'd eat my broccoli and I'd eat your crust.
I’m hiking up but I think I forgot my compass
I think I’m doing it wrong
I was supposed to have it figured out
by now
I was supposed to be settled
knowing what I want in life
Further from the truth is
I see you smile.
And I smile back.
We all laugh at the same dumb joke,
A feeling I had forgotten.
It almost wasn’t recognizable.
Would you just stop talking already?
Today, I learned that stress can kill your cells.
I had my suspicions.
Unsure eyes well with tears -
Hair donated mere hours ago.
Shorter than it has ever been,
Reflecting the fuse inside.
Pallid hands grip the vanity,
As a best friend then brother, now potential life partner
These feelings… These intense, powerful feelings.
As infants grow to become teenagers into adults…
A typical crush grew to become infatuation into love.
Honestly, I fell for you;
I fell for you hard, like nothing else mattered.
You were on my mind day and night and everything in between;
With words that burn and bite and sting,
they creep up on your mind and ring
until you no longer sleep at night.
There are sounds and smells
that remind you of days passed,
Reach the sky,
trust the sun
and crave its kindness.
Rely on the orchestra of rain
to quench your thirst.
Depend on the lavish ground
to stand tall.
When Winter dethrones warmth,
Calm overwhelms me
Breaking and splintering the anger and painThe words you spoke to me may heal with time But scars take far longer to fade
I stand tall
Fear.
She envelopes us like a cold day without a jacket.
Shivering like bare shoulders, chills climbing in the crooks of collapsing collarbones.
"I am afraid," the voice taunts, always behind us always there.
She’s always been there lurking
In the darkest corners of my mind
I never thought of searching
For the voice that mimicked mine
Raindrops
Pooling on my windowsill
Splish splash, splish splash
A cool breeze
Wind chimes twinkling and twirling
Crickets chirping
As the lightning bugs flutter about
Water droplets fall from the sky,
flowers yell with excitment,
people scream in sorrow.
But little do they know
what makes one grieve
could make something else grow.
A plethora of predicaments race though my mind at best.
which one can I fathom to ponder about next?
Shall I even think of acting upond what my mind stirs about,
or cry my soul asleep by this never-ending drought?
loneliness is a weird thing.
the thought of going to college
leaving all my friends and family behind, terrifies me.
meanwhile the thought of having to leave my room,
She's not real
I tried to convince myself as she stepped out of her painting
Her silky voice sent shivers down my spine
And when she outstretched her hand to touch me
Her skin seemed to be made of ice
She says
my first boyfriend can’t be my true love
so rarely
she says
do first-time couples stay together
and take on the world as one
She said
i should have been working harder
They say 17 is a number associated with spiritual growth
Next month, I advance to a new chapter, a new 18
So I reflect on what’s changed and what’s remained
I am not afraid of fear, But yet he calls my name. Calling me, and taunting me, And putting me to shame. And though his voice cries out, I will not lend my ear— I will not bend my will— To the one that they call fear.
flowers
deflowered
when anxious hands tug on life not theirs
vibrant pigments say, i'm right for the plucking
plush filled pistils,
ripe with life.
snatched by roots
reminded of my frailty.
There was something in the dirt in my grandmother’s backyard
The dirt that lay black under her lilac bush
The dirt that smeared across my blue jeans every spring saturday
I think there was something in the dirt in my grandmother’s backward
The dirt that lay black under her lilac bush
The dirt that smeared across my blue jeans every spring saturday
for so long
i was torn between
faces & places
and not being able to choose
what to do or where to go that
would please others [please me]
i wanted this and i wanted that
Outside is sunshine
Inside is darkness
My eyes are teary
My smile is broken
Outside I smile
Inside I Cry
No one will ever understand why
When it rains it pours
When it rains,
I was born
Of a European Yew.
Its mighty bough had grown
Twisted and encrusted
With moss
In the garden of my great-great grandfather.
As he left his house for the final time
Flowers can't grow without water,
Love can't grow without guidance.
Flowers can't grow with stress,
Love can't grow with hate.
Flowers bloom and die,
When I knew you
You treated me poorly
You made me feel as though all the fault was mine
But because of you I have grown stronger
Small… little… shrimp…
Growing up was tough
Picked on for years because of my size
Just wanted to say enough
Late to hit my growth spurt
Affecting me in sports
Parents so supportive
And then three years later and look at us now..
We were talking about marriage & having some kids in the house.
Man nothing ruins a relationship quicker than doubt.
Used to say you were so confident in what we had.
I love the way the sunlight shines on him
The way the sun seems to reach out for him
Only him
His eyes are the most beautiful brown
I hated brown
But I could never hate brown on him
I ran away from myself, paid no heed to my faults and saw all my actions as justified. Until you clasped my hands around a pen and told me to write.
We, wrote a list. Another and then a third.
I bury you with all the other girls.The other mistakes,the other regrets and rejects,I bury you nine feet below the ground,covering you in grains of dirt composed ofapologies and excuses.
Trauma trapping, tripping
Over the roots that I have grown
In the back of my mind
To conduct oneself like so
I wanted to be like him
Live like him
act like him
it seemed so far
to be able to reach that bar
I got what I wanted
but in a different way
I fell under his wing
It’s said that you only really appreciate something when it’s gone
It’s a cliché, I know, but I can’t tell you how real that is
Especially when it’s something you’ve never even had
I can’t say much,
“Love yourself before you love others.
You can’t love a man
Until you love what’s in the mirror”
We were told this by our mothers.
Few took this and ran,
But the rest didn’t even consider
To get away from reality
I fall into a fantasy
Created by my own anxiety
Fear flowing from my feet to my head
I mess up relationships instead
By overthinking way ahead
You taught me to be kind You taught me to be great You taught me to take time You taught me to appreciate You taught me my love for trees You taught me my love for photos You taught me my love for bees You taught me my love for Coco You taught
The spider had crawled in from the depths of the unknown
The girl, seeing the creepy crawler, screamed to her bones
Oh, wait a minute! Amongst the shadows in the dark
Lies a man as strong as a shark
I mean 'no' when I say 'yes',
Compulsion to give myself away,
Conversely not,
Get what I truly want.
Don't feel whole,
Desire for love,
Seeking it in the worse places,
Time won’t stop running.
My bed remains unmade,
the freckles around my eyes still move when I talk.
My heart still aches during love songs,
And my eyes slide shut with the sound of rain.
This New Earth
The summer harvest
Has been reaped
To feed our souls.
The last bounty gone
To the dust of leaves,
Clinging to the mother branch
She is a woman of eloquence and grace,a self-less soul conjured up of 2 parts dedication,3 parts caring and 4 parts happiness.
Hey honey, how are you?
I am really proud of you.
You've made it through all these years,
through many smiles and hidden tears.
You've made it through those toughe times
I remember being younger
When the sun shown just a bit darker
And things seemed tilted off a normal plane.
I have never been one for writing
I always blamed on the timing
my friend’s funeral was a cloudy day.
a joyous celebration of life.
the clouds spoiled the ambiance,
but the rain never came.
I would go though the days angry and full of despair
Believing I was the only one, that no one would ever care
Writing here and there
Expressing my beliefs about what was and wasn’t fair
About this and about that
I express my identity through poetry.
Who I am and who I hope to one day be
Bleeds through the tip of my pen
In a rush of eloquence,
My stream of consciousness.
Poetry reaches the depths of the soul, climbing into the parts that yearn to be whole
Tugging on our heart strings, just trying to teach us things
I let the words speak to me, Poetry has taught me how to be free!
The soul yearns for a place to call its home
Beside the hearth of friendship’s warm embrace
Where candor rides the breeze like glitt’ring ash
the first picture taken of me sits in an altar by my bedside,
a reminder of everything I have been given from day one.
a baby, curls of onyx in my eyes,
nose-deep in a book.
Shit, When someone don't love me what can I do?
Am I supposed to wait for there sudden change in heart?
Am I supposed to just be led on into this continuous train ride to no avail?
It's a funny sort of thing
to change with your writing:
to grow and crinkle and smooth over just as
the words on your page do.
(poems are how we express our change, and our
stagnancy
You accept the love you think you deserve.
And you do not deserve that-
Not that.
I understand.
Only a deeply damaged soul
He taught me how to feel…To feel his red hot grip on my throatSo that I would grow cold. He suffocated me in his embrace and now, I am cold… And catatonic. The red lace,That once was a symbol of our passion,Would turn on me And use its body inste
as I look back at my page
a mess of words
a smattering of double entendres and single-line metaphors
I come to realize that my poetry
is nothing like yours…
“Do you think you can forgive me?”
He asked me this while there was still blood between my teeth.
He asked me this while I held my own right thumb, because
Poetry taught me to grow,
That opening up didn't make me weak but strong,
Strong as hell.
Because poetry is not calm waters
But a strong wind
Wrapping your hair around your head,
The promise he made to me about a hundred and one times, he broke.
"I will never leave you baby girl," he said and where is he now?
Only a shadow of a memory left for me to ponder in my head.
Poetry is a journey
With ups and downs
As a child it was beauty
In school it was a chore
Now it is discovery and
Means so much more
Sometimes things happen that aren’t supposed to.
It snows in april
A weed grows in january,
Winter overstays its welcome
A child is born by accident.
Learning to love yourself is a journey-- mind sways from happiness-- to laying on a gurney-- needing an attorney to defend against the prosecutions of life-- devil sending destruction with little strife-- cuz every milestone you make-- another set
hark what words i speaketh to thee
for i shall not repeat them;
if thy wishes to be more than a speck
on this tiny world
follow the path that goes high and far
A rock falling lopsided through space.
Yet, we the tenants of such an obscurity,
Consider ourselves to be the makers of God.
With black powder and fossil fuels we go rushing through the blackness,
Internalize
In turn all eyes turn inwardand find only darkness,what a clever disguise.
sometimes i find
i want to press myself in a book like a flower
to flatten my spine so my shoulders can be higher
but if my body wasn’t fragile
hola pequeño árbolcito.
si caigo sobre ti, será crítico,
si te doblo seguramente romperás,
Pero debes leer en tu díptico
si lo sobrevives un poco más,
crecerás un poco más fuerte,
counting knots in the wood slats-
the ones i can feel my nonexistent breath bounce off against
the ones holding up the musty mattress that does not get granted a body for most of the year
silent cabin
a thought cannot be cultivated.
if, it is not planted first
in the mind - which, unsedated,
remains awake with conscious thirst.
a thought cannot grow or sprout
if, the mind does not quench it
As we draw closer, We become the naked vine. The two become one- Breath combined.
Her skin so soft, like petals of a rose...His hands fall across her, like a gentle breeze blows.
I am a baby
I enter the world and open my beautiful eyes to see the light
Cute as a baby, oh that’s me
Smiles from bundles of joy
Poof! I am a kid
Dear Anon,
The anonymous you. The unknown to the world, but known deep to my heart.
You’ve been there. Deep inside of me. You’ve heard the beats and rhythm.
You’ve shaped and molded it to the way you wanted it.
I, a deer in blinding headlights.
Whirring wheels screech against the asphalt.
Demanding movement but provoking frozen fear.
To my ex-best friend
That tells everyone she doesn’t know what she did wrong;
You built your confidence by standing on top of me,
Knowing that I wasn’t strong --
dear you,
i'd like to share a story
there was once a caterpillar
she wanted to flyshe was envious of the winged ones
It was your toxic love that made me grow
It was your toxic love that showed me the warmth hidden in winter
And the chills from the summer
It was your toxic love that made my tears break free
And your empty words
Dear Jessica,
What does a man feel like?
Is he soft like trampled moss?
Or scratchy like peeled back bark?
Does his smile warm your heart?
Dear Jessica,
What does a man feel like?
Is he soft like trampled moss?
Or scratchy like peeled back bark?
Does his smile warm your heart?
Next year I will be able to look at you and see a distant memory
All these broken pieces of you will be put back together
Still cracked and fragmented
But still one piece
Some days
the dam breaks.
And the laughter
you've been using as a mask
turns to heaving sobs
And the floodgates
open to the salty tears
And you could begin
to rebuild the wall
Leaves of green,
Lo, have you seen?
They cover all the soil,
For grow they must,
In Earth they trust,
So all the day they toil.
Dear Depression,
Your goal seemed to be to wreck
what I had worked so hard to build.
You tore
and hurt
and left me a shell
of who I was
and could be.
I lost myself amongst your waves,
The Black (pt. 3)
In the farthest field there is a deep pit
A wound, proclaimed in the dusty outreaches
Of sweeping grass element
Which now and again bubbles and
Blossoms
My dear raging wildfire love,
It really just takes a small spark to start the fire,
But when it takes control,
It takes over, engulfing everything,
Dear 5 no presents under the Christmas tree,
only means that Santa is still working and refining your gift.
dear 7 loud screams in the kitchen and hiding under the covers wont last forever,
Dear Broken-Hearted Girl,
I remember seeing you, lying there in the darkness of your room
I remember watching the tears fall and listening to your stifled sobs
2017bled out in color for me, a thousanddifferent shades tempered by jealousy andreminding me that indeed they wereghostsof somebody I used to know that Ididn't anymore and I didn't
I forgot who I was after I first shattered.
When grasping for some desperate way to connect was all that mattered.
Before I lost hope and spent years floating face down in the water,
I loved a man who broke my heart
Haven’t we all
I loved him deeply from the start
That was my first mistake
I just should have waited
Dear Failure,
Many say it is better to try and fail than to not try at all.
For so long, the fear has told me, "No."
"It is safer here."
"Where no one tells you no."
You gave me a starry night and an empty journal
And said write down your beautiful thoughts.
Shoot them across the universe.
Plaster your words onto someone’s heart,
It will adhere to another’s.
You were the sweetest thing to hurt me
Draped in the fur of sheep, disguised as the devil
I trusted you, as you conjured pretty promises you’d soon break
When I looked at you, I saw your upmost potential
My mistake.
To My First Love,
Oh boy did I love you.
We went from nothing to everything in under a month.
A couple of dates, to hanging out every single day.
I was on top of the world with you.
What an interesting feat
to recall
What Hannah was composed of in January
of 2017
What made her tick?
What kept her going?
Junior year was kicking her butt
That memory remains
You bit me when I was tenderbecause you knew i was easy prey.Knowing i would fall weak at the knees on the cogency of your wordsKnowing I was soft as the petals scattered on the bathroom floor.
Have you ever dreaded to take a breath
Not the kind that fills soft moist lungs
But the kind that follows a silent death
Let me go no further
For I can see you
I don’t have to be there
I always told you the truth
I figured it was common courtesy
But you molded it
Into a monster you used against me.
I watch you
A young man born as an offspring of an army soilder.
Guided by a foundation of discipline and strength
forged with a desire to express known feelings hidden by despair.
the sky and i are alike you know,
we burn shades of red
and shades of blue
with purples in between
thoughts are unclear
like the moon and the stars
hidden from view
polluted with darkness
when you hurt me
you seem to forget
that with every punch
with every cut
with every gash
with every slap
you are just
making tears fall
that will water a tree
The truth is, my darling, that time has passed and we have grown. And yes, I do love you. And yes, that has everything to do with this poem. Loving you has everything to do with who we’ve turned into, and who we’ve grown to become.
You are intelligent
Yet you know nothing
You are full of ideas
Yet you don’t know how to express them well
You are full of wisdom
I know things have been tough
I know moving in must suck
The old tennant
was awful at cleaning up after themself
The wiring is always off
To my once best friend who
made me laugh, and taught me things I never knew
To my once best friend who
Gave me many fun things to do
To my once best friend who
At one point, made me feel brand new
Oh look at the trees
the leaves fall every day
the trees dont blink an eye
leaves are meant to be this way
So why do we care
about the words someone might say
about the look of a stare
Finding someone who is caring, careful, conscientious is far more difficult than I’d like it to be.When I found you I felt at peace, I felt like the world finally had meaning, motive, mind.When I met you my anxiety emerged its way back out of the
Because I love you
I became a better me
How can I love you properly
If I don't take care of myself
Because I love you
I prayed for you
So your spirit may be strong
As I fade in and out of sleep
Thoughts of you dance through my mind
It pains me to know
That you never experienced such sorrows
Your first love
Because I loved you, and maybe I do,
I sat with you when you got angry.
Because I loved you, and maybe I do,
I held your hand and told you to take deep breaths.
Because I loved you, and maybe I do,
i'm laying in bed listening to old
songs that used to bring me comfort
and happiness and joy.
now they only bring back sweet pangs of
nostalgia and forgotten emotions.
at least at the time i had people
My life has been filled to the brim with manipulation masked as love,
Deceit hiding behind a smiling face and seemingly kind eyes.
I’ve been torn between words and actions,
We laugh and tumble,
quite like a storm.
Everyday you are my prayer,
a blessing when you were born.
There are up's and down's,
do not get me wrong.
But in the end,
You talk about her like you are a plant
and she is the sun you need to grow.
Can't you see she is burning your leaves?
Withering your petals?
the skin i wear is dry.
i fear that my knees
have been on the floor
for too long.
pleading for my loss
to return.
my mother said,
“mix lime with honey,
love to grow
i. Baby Love
When I was a child, I spoke as a child
The most musical language I’ve ever known
You looked me in the eyes
Your gaze was so deep, I felt it in the pit of my stomach.
I tried so hard to absorb it all,
The way your eyelashes curved, and how those small
Green circles pried my heart open.
the days you spend
no longer feeling the familiar ache in your chest
noticing how at ease you feel
wondering how long this feeling has been here but you were too unaware to notice
grateful
but confused
You enter a farmer’s market
There is a wide range of fruits
From oranges apples pomegranates and yes
Even the controversial tomato
I have never really been considered an open book,
But because you love me,
I have learned to open my front cover,
And let my insides spill everywhere.
Because I love you I don’t mind being a mess,
To be numb was always the safest route:there were no alternates, no endangering side roads,a straight runway- avoidance of any emotion. I did not think I wanted to change,
I won’t tell you that i am trapped in a body that isn’t mine
that i was born in the wrong body
because whether i have a chest or a dick
this body is mine
this body is mine and always will be mine
Why do I think that I can't do things
How am I my own least biggest fan
I used to think that I could do anything
I used to believe I could hold the world in my hand
A tunnel wide yawned before me
as I travelled along my way,
and I stepped in as traveler would,
leaving behind the waning day.
As soon as I was in the dark
as splash of colors lashed at me.
Because I love you,
My words flow freely from my lips
Spilling my secrets and sharing my hopes
With you, love.
Because I love you,
If you are a seedlet my love be your water,andyour sun.I know that you are destinedto rise,and I am devotedto your growthbecause,I love you. And I'd wishfor you,to bloom,into a flower.
Because I loved you
I thought she didn’t matter.
Her feelings weren’t real,
It was just you and me.
When you left me strained
In an unfamiliar train station
I was scared.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
A doctor, astronaut, vet, famous
A million thoughts race through the young girl's mind
Are you ready for your first day of school
I am a collection of the mistakes and dreams of those that I've loved
A mind that never stops moving, accompanied by a heart that feels every beat and every tear
A soul like mine is fortunate for love
No stain no smudge no worldly wrong
Can silence the sound
of childrens song
No Power of money nor chains of might
I am sitting in a hotel room, staring at a three dollar bottle of wine when I realize that I do not have a corkscrew. There is blood on the towels in the bathroom which I do not dare revisit and I remember the first time you held me.
When I was a child I was told that I was black but not black black. I didn't quite fit into the pre-packaged, tick-one-only boxes society had for me. Which made it difficult when trying to find my place.
The uneven rocks give this hill character. Though storms may erode them they are still strong and beautiful. Etched into their being is lesson after lesson. Every curve tells a story. Ever changing. Ever growing.
Spoken Intro:
“All of a sudden, it’s like you’ve become aware of your own existence, how unwhole you are.
And you’re constantly being reborn...
Again...
And again...
And again...
And again.
He’s taken the lead
Left me in the dust I raised
But he’s still looking at me, pulling me through instead
The world he’s lived in, explosions of color and haze,
Take it easy
Your mind is thin paper held up to the sun
Through it shines colors the eye can’t even see,
But you’re quick to burn too fast...
Be mindful & burn slow...
standing at the mirror and i look like a shell of myself skin stretched over bone, barely hanging on, but so am i dark circles reflecting dark corners of my mind that attack me at night like monsters playing hide and go seek impossible to catch i
And now I’ve come to the end,
I walked a very long way.
Miles and years,
Smiles and tears.
But there is nothing left for me to say.
You didn’t hurt my feelings,
Old soul
Young bones
Turmoil and pure insanity-
This time last year I was really feeling the shit hit the fan, man
And I mean, really
Growing up with my mom, hardly ever had a father figure.It was like I was the only one who ever saw the bigger picture.I grew up in New York with my mom in an apartment.My dad was a handy man who worked on anything from ceiling to floor carpet.I w
As a child, I went through a very brief period of childhood before I was thrust into a world where monsters are not only very real, but a constant factor I had to face.
Drowning in my insecurities,
I am pushed into a comfort zone beyond who I aspire to be.
The molecules are opinions,
Assumptions,
Of those who think they know me best.
A force- harsh and stiff as a hurricane,
yesterday
i realized i am better now
and i was proud for the first time
since april
today
She watches the clock,
She hates to be timed.
Yet she loves the pressure of a short notice.
She learned not to be hesitant after her many setbacks.
She's be told of her potential, pst, like she didn't know,
Once upon a time, there was a girl seen with talent.
She acted upon it and tried all she could.
Though auditions and essays flowed easily through her,
From youth, I knew not all plants grow --
Some are cut at the roots,
Some sprout of row,
And some never see the light of day
And feel the rain on their leaves
And the sun on their cheeks
My mind was once a machine, whirring as if to say,
Think is not fleeting.
One idea, one belief, that was enough for me,
Think is not feeling.
Over the course of the last year, I have experienced a significant amount of change
I graduated high school, leaving the security and stability behind
I lost some friends
Do my steps weigh down
This island, and flood my home
In waves of guilt?
These frayed gaps tell me so.
Prayers force their way out of these pages
I was not the only flame beating
I had another which gave me warmth
We grew from each other yet became distant
I grew faint and dim, I couldn't keep living like this
The other vanished frommy life and I felt cold
When I was thirteen,
I knew exactly who
I was going to marry.
He would be tall,
and strong,
with black hair
and even blacker eyes.
He would be my protector.
She was like a seed drowned in dirt.
Her home was as dry as a desert.
She was small and frail, almost an introvert.
Two-thousand and sixteen
Crowned one of the worst years in many peoples’ eyes
For many it was a year of distress, chaos, uncertainty
For me it was a year of self-discovery, growth, and learning
January
I took a risk.
I applied to graduate school,
I was filled with fear of the unknown and looking like a fool.
I excelled in my classes,
I impressed the masses.
I took a risk.
12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days, this is how much time ive spent growing
all this time was spent knowing
who I am, what I want to achieve and what I want to be
a year can seem so vast
a year can seem so fast
There's something that stirsUnder the surfaceOf my skinIt CreepsAnd CrawlsAnd Begs to get in
There are cracks in the sidewalk that represent my life;A broken home;A broken family;Needing something to mold to.I've become the flower sprouting throughThat people tend to walk upon.
If I died, I’d cry
But if I didn’t, then I’d never be alive
I think I’m sad sometimes
But other times I think that I’m just lying
I like to sing out loud about death
And feeling bad, and never being their yet
I don’t know where I’m headed,
But I wanna know before I go
Which way is right? Which way is left?
Over the course of years,
Over the course of days,
Over the course of writing this sentence
The so-called "future" has changed immensely
Similar to how seasons occur
Changing colors, changing shapes
If I spoke in lines of poetry, it would be broken
Every line seperate from the rest
My words would fall disconnected
You would not be able to make sense of it
I've seen through my eyes,
A world laid out before me.
A world that's experienced a year of growth,
A year of pain,
A year of change.
A lot can happen in a year,
The discovery of a new hobby,
This year, I burned myself away
I let myself wilt
Without dismay
Often, I was horrified
A world in meltdown
Triggered my pride
And let me drown
I got up, though
I always came around
Butterscotch colored bubbles clink in crystal glasses as ten seconds mark a genesis
Laughter, too loud, bounces like a ping pong ball between empty resolutions also too loud
I planted myself in a garden,
this year.
And not just any garden,
but a garden of
overwhelming light
& overflowing water.
I slashed wounds into pinked skin,
Now I kiss them red as they burn.
I pulled thoughts before they ripe,
Now I soil them to better the taste.
I use to lay in rivers wearing oleanders,
Three hundred and sixty five days are enough to make you a different person.
Enough to make you grow, enough to knock you down, enough to make you live. These days are filled with hope, despair, luck,
Lessons.
“yeah, I used to get panic attacks myself.” my ease surprises me. I’m relaxed, not like the calm before a storm when havoc is about to wreak. just calm. no storm.
Drawing
Drawing myself
From the inside out
Sheltered by bone,
Veiled in
Cream colored Flesh,
My hand holds my pencil
2016
January, the new year started.
I still kept to myself.
February, the days became colder.
As I became to be.
March, I met my best friend.
In the beginning, there was Us.
Sometimes I thought that my smile would blind people,
It burned so brightly for you.
And nothing touched me more
January
A new year
Celebrations
Resolutions
New friends
Forgetting old people
Old mistakes
Cold
I kept saying
What am I going to do
Left incapacitated I began to live
Interpreting the world
Found focus and motivation
To keep going
january;
I left 2015 with an empty heart.
As others gathered to celebrate joy,
I merely huddled under my sheets,
too exhausted, for the last few years
had been hard.
february;
Timid
Shy
Afraid
Anxiety.
Curious
Focused
Freedom
Anxiety.
As I grow and evolve, I am always left with one thing
Anxiety.
I’m different now.
I find myself searching for the peace I used to have
The peace that was given to me
The peace that surpassed understanding.
I find myself struggling to find optimism
The concept of time is so strange
We never realize how much in a year that we change
The sun always rises and it's a blessing to be awake
Another chance to fix yesterday's mistakes
I've found that change is a messenger,
And it only brings the thing's we've set for.
I've found surprizes this year, like every other,
But each was not really anything new, but set.
I've found that change is a messenger,
And it only brings the thing's we've set for.
I've found surprizes this year, like every other,
But each was not really anything new, but set.
Changéd have I been since the dawn of the year
These new thoughts, these new words, have changéd me.
I will Constantly Grow
A year ago… I was finding myself.
I fell in love with another soul.
Swimming in a sea of skin
I only felt her warm hand
fingers laced through mine
like sutures binding a wound
allowing it to heal.
Things are good, I'm happy
yes, you're making more money than most people your age
Im doing well, doing it without school too
School was never for you anyway
I'm close to my peak
Here she comes
who?
I believe that many say, time changes
It molds, grows, shapes, scrapes,
You
I, with tired limbs, heavy eyes, a crazy sleep schedule
I see friends travel,
experience new things and
step onto foreign gravel.
They walk a different path.
My experience is less than half.
Live in your bubble for a day
Not for a lifetime
Look up and see the world
The world outside your own
That is the world you live in
Not the one you've created
Pencil shavings became a sign of accomplishments
A’s became common
Teachers became leaders
School became a creative space.
Glances became kisses
Years go by as they always do
Some go fast, others slow,
But never a year taken so long
As this year's past.
Changes occur as they always do.
Some welcome, some not.
Haircuts and new friends,
As New Years day came, the words "new beginnings" engraved my soul.
I was tired of playing games, and from us taking it slow.
I made my decision, i was moving to miami, cause you had my heart.
As New Years day came, the words "new beginnings" engraved my soul.
I was tired of playing games, and from us taking it slow.
I made my decision, i was moving to miami, cause you had my heart.
I am from the seeds dropped from familiar hands,
dug into the cigar box storing old memories,
sprinkled lightly onto the soil which bore me into this earth,
A gust of wind.
I am dislodged from my cradle.
My blanket is ripped away.
My family shrinks in the distance.
I crash to the ground.
The light blinks out as I am covered in a new blanket.
I am cold.
The
Way the seeds grow
When seeds fall from a plant
Does it gaze upon that plant
As a ray of sunshine
That will guide its way,
Whoever said “an apple a day keeps the doctor away”
must never have met a Black woman.
I have not met other people whose presence
radiates warmth and sunlight,
or another being who has the power
I don’t love him anymore. The residency that he used to hold in my heart has been vacated. A year ago I was terrified when you left that I was over, I was done, that at sixteen I had loved the truest and purest love I would feel.
It is the decison you make one day, when you had enough of watching everything that
has sinked you down. So, you take the stance and draw a map of yourself and see the
My hair never looked so healthy,
Their adolesent actions so displeasing,
I have changed.
Swollen feet carry my weigth,
I do not feel as heavy anymore.
This steady rhythm my chest projects,
As a kid
I loved swimming
It was something
That made me happy
As I grew
My love
For immersion
Became fear
As I realized
The mental horror
Of drowning
Like pink skies and red oceans, each day is so beautifully enigmatic
Mystery and curiosity caress my day in a world so sorrowfully systematic
A chance to touch and breathe ease me into sunrise and poetry flow
I don't promise insight, so take this vulnerability
There's something ugly in mistakes and I am going to let them see
on purpose. They're nervous for
bad anecdotal jokes and blank notes, rote comfort buy the hour.
Fallen Shoulders
Once Raised High
Gardens Growing Up like Vines
Flower fields place their Roots
Deep within the Spine they Loop
Beneath Between Around About
The Cord that Dances
Up to the Crown.
Image by Ted Pim
Daddy, why’s mommy crying? Daddy, why’s mommy locked in her room? Daddy, where’d mommy go?
“Mommy’s feeling sad today, feeling tired today; mommy’s going away for a while.
Poetry is not only art
But it shows how far you've come.
When I read old poems
I see how much I've grown
As a poet and a person.
I may not be the best writer,
But I love seeing personal growth
Your face in between these thunderous thighs
Guiding me on an ascent to cloud nine on the way to meet the most high
In between these sheets is where our love lies.
You are the reason that I am broken
Thank you.
For had you not broken my heart
I wouldn’t have seen myself reflected in the shattered pieces
You were a pen
Long, slender, and sleek
A sharp tip aching to cut through ink and paper
I was an inkwell
Dark, mysterious, and opaque
I walk along, head held high,
No single man can touch my pride.
I am alone, but my heart is full,
Not a single moment I feel dull.
It was not always like this,
I used to hate myself and diss
This is the story of how I lost my voice -
But more importantly, how I found it again.
How I found the words caught behind spiderwebs in my throat, itching to be free,
This day in particular
Was really quite gray
The guy next to me sighed
Hey, you okay?
I replied that I was fine
I gesured him to go away
Yet, he wiped the tears from my eyes
Poetry
Flourishes like a tree,
Expanding it branches,
Reaching, stretching
Trying to expand
Leaves form
Blossoms bloom
A sick bliss, bubbling
Spilling out over me
Staining and settling
In holes, in the cracks
All the locked in got out
Now it’s boiling out
Now it’s staining and settling
In holes, in the cracks
Bye, bye, bye, butterflies
Dear butterflies in my stomach,
Please leave, go out..
cause there's nothing to flutter about
Nobody's that exciting anymore
All rising around for nothing,
As a kid I often picked dandelions
Because I loved to watch them fly away.
As an adult I always picked the pretty girl
When I peer closely, I can see you there
Your tiny head pokes out above the ground
Your fight against the world is newly found,
As men will question, “How much will you bear?”
I see with sounds
Words a MIXTURE
Of thought and outside stimuli
I write to bring peace to my mind
Link the emotion
In my music with word in my mind
Rooted in pain
Of youth
I can't live without breakfast tacos.son más que solamente tacos.
breakfast tacos are sustenance for me as cuddles are to babies.they're mom.
they're family.they're dad.
The Island is a reflection of me.
I am a reflection of all my experiences.
Past, present and future.
What is the one thing I would take if I was stranded on an island?
Hope is the commodity that fuels business and dreamers and churchgoers,
And honestly - I've never lost hope on the pathway of my odyssey.
Truthfully - My mind is a wishing well - I'd say that I'm an oddity,
Your Beautiful
Your Inteligent
Your Needed
You told me these things when I was young
I never belived the words you told me
I threw myself down
And told myself I would never be loved
But
I refuse to stand here without you
Choosing to move forward knowing we'll find each other again
Here I try attempting this impossible task
But soon realizing there is no need
You ask me what I need
As if without air I can still breathe,
Without water or sunlight I'll be fine.
So
All necessities aside,
I guess I need the world.
It's a lot to ask, but
America's Garden
Here in America diversity is key,
Seen on this soil are seeds from overseas,
Sailing on water or flying in air,
The common goal of freedom brings those seeds there,
I didn't know colors.
I thought that they were mixed,
a simple product of light,
bouncing off,
as rays.
Only the modern physics.
That's all I saw.
The calculated facts.
The only time I can’t forget you
Is in my drawn out fever dreams.
Half human, half animal,
You draw me in
Like an “Alice in Wonderland” character that shifts
What is a rock?
Solid and strong.
Formed by breaking free.
I sit and I see.
Looking out into the ocean,
I am there.
The sea is on me, over me.
I am solid and strong,
Just like a rock.
A house is nought but the sum of it's parts
A day is but a set of hours
A year, a system of days, each bundled up with others and given names
All a decade is is a repeat of the day before
Living a life full dreams and pondering where I would be, fathoming the things of this world that I could bring. Staying humble and hard working is part of the game unless you give it up and end up in a life of shame.Why so ambitious.
To buy some eggs and to buy a loaf of bread
Useful to the community a lot of reasons come to my head
Cooking necessities and treats for the little one
Kitchen, bedroom, and bathroom products for everyone
Going to college is frightening, but there are more frightening things in the world.
Growing up is exhilarating, but there are things we can miss on the way.
I am a girl transitioning into womanhood.
Still making mistakes ,
but learning from them.
I cry during sad movies,
and during happy ones too.
I care too much,
for those who care to little.
Hunting another calloused hand to hold
I became lost in worlds of temptation,
Used for beauty, hollowed, taken & sold
To the pursuit of my validation.
Growing my muscles, both body and brain
In your mommy’s world
You were always her little girl.
Quiet nights hands were lurking,
Brother’s cold hands froze you in the night.
I am alone
I am scared
I am calling home and waiting for the weekend
I am trying strange things
I am meeting new people
I am joining clubs
I am breaking my shell
I am enjoying new things
The most hated people I've come to know
Love themselves more than they should show.
The last place you'd see them is low
In their own minds that is, they're really hoes.
Romantic and flowery, they unfortunatly spoke
I am 14
Everything is new, and optimism is endless.
The sun is brighter, boys are nicer, my first days of high school
I am 15
School is routine, mostly a burden to my social life.
I am wise.
I hold the fire of truth in my eyes.
I will not let it reach its demise.
Because I am wise
and I know wisdom more than you.
I was a fool.
I played in my own happiness
I am
a little off
never quite
fitting in
mildly autistic
a little bit artistic
my childhood acidic.
I am young
the first time
I say I
wanna
die.
Growing up I was insecure and had a lot of fears,
Coming from a city that was build on music and cars
Eventually being deprived and ruined by the men in the city.
To me its like i was the city,
I was Detroit!
I am chaos.
I cause it.
I receive it.
I have relished in heaven.
Yet, I have lived in hell.
I am unique
I have no mother.
Drugs are more important.
I am forgotten.
Before I was, I had to come
To the forefront of death, of life.
And without any doubt of the from;
I now exist amidst the strife.
Without knowledge known to me yet,
No pressures found or even cared
I.
I am fascinated by numbers
I have an affinity for numbers.
I have written him 71 pages of poems.
14675 words and counting
2462 stanzas
3241 lines mounting.
Upon each other like
The frantic forest floor,it was so cluttered once,every rustle was news, unsilenceable.Leaves fell, animals tracked through the dappled shifting sunlight, and it was all important.
Class of 2016,
the year where the path changes.
I have traveled down the jagged road to fin it's end near.
I found a shortcut though,
because there is nothing more strange then speeding up,
What’s worst about this whole ordeal
Is not that you are gone,
Nor that the words you said to me
Were just to put me on,
But really that your parting voice
Did quiver in its tone –
A Simple Seed
Existence
The seed everyone shares
Ignorant and seemingly unremarkable it grows
Call it beauty
Call it beauty when the stars blanket the night sky
When the birds sweeten the morning air
When the rain rejuvenates the fresh soil
When waterfalls look like falling pristine sugar
The world around us is constantly moving
Even the smallest flower is beautifully blooming.
If a bud so small gets a chance to bloom
A human so tall, chance as well should assume.
Here lays a story to be told of Angels and Mermaids and Knights (with strange names) and royalty of princesses and princes the same, and none of which were servant’s saviors but all of them killed her further.
Recall the days, not long ago,
When you were but a pup,
And all the world was marvelous,
Nowhere to grow but up.
With each new dawn came new delights,
To learn, to act, to feel;
Isn’t it awesome, that rivers are forever?
They are forever, and yet you will never stand in the same river twice,
The river is a new being and packs a punch like a spice.
Isn’t it awesome, how as humans we have grown?
Deep in a forest
Where the wind blows
Lives the grass,
the trees and grow.
They strive off of life
And they know what is right
Here is where the wind blows
And the trees and grass grow.
The minds of feeble boys
Boisterous
Unbalanced
Braggadocious
Blaming bonds bought by bad bargaining-
Instead of the one who's done the negotiation
My delivery, Intelligently, to the Nth degree, Exponentially, I enter thee, places in your mind- generally -you refeuse to set free, the demons you keep prisoner, all the nights you cant remember, So many words left
You were so sweet
I knew better than to try to consume you all at once
If i over indulge then my stomach would ache
So i told myself "maybe just a taste"
But you weren't composed of artificial flavors
once a small seed in the ground
now swaying in the wind along with all the sound.
A tree growing older by the year
growing up and out of the fear.
Leaves will fall, seasons come and go
I am made of sticks and stones.
I rebuilt myself from those
I found
Strewn about the kitchen floor,
Remnants of your drunken tirades.
My bones felt hollow
When I learned that yours
This road of turns and bridges took me to a cliff
I went off my cliff
I am alive
My road is now dark and uncertain
I reach for light but then stop myself
First I learned to crawl and then I learned to stand up tall.
Next I learned how to walk and run
And now at full speed, a young woman I am to become.
My growth is flawless.
<3
You could see it in their eyes.
They weren't quite friends anymore.
The way she smiled for him,
friends don't smile like that.
The way he puts his hands on her back,
MY God
MY GOD,
How long did it take to create such a beautiful Child?
I know it took a beautiful while,
wondering withstandsbreath after breathin faith working to attainthe freedom of silencespirit occupies to createas life is a sequence of number and tonei seek words that keep the promise of growth
For once in my life the storm around me matches the storm raging in my soul.
For once in my life the puzzle pieces fit perfectly.
You push me down into dirt,You stay proud of what you blurt,Of all these words screamed out at me:
I asked him once if he narrates things in his head
The way that I do
The way that
We.
Do.
"GIRLS," society screams, "LOVELY, LONELY, UNKNOWINGLY BEAUTIFUL GIRLS!"
Let your mind
Bloom like a flower
In spring.
May your thoughts
Grow fertile
In soil of encouragement.
Create a field of plenty
Waiting to be harvest
Consume the worldIn a fleshy fruit!Savor its flavorDevour the bruteWe fight for what we eat Even though there’s not enough meatThe pesticides, the herbicides, the fallen leaves
I often hear
empty words of praise.
Compliments about
my looks, my grades.
No one ever looks
at the true beauty in me.
But I know
what everyone fails to see.
A/N: I was thinking about what I think makes me flawless, and I think it's my intense survival instinct. So here's a poem about that.
(A.K.A 'Question')Why praise God, onlyto curse & challenge His namewhen a trial comes?
In the words of my mother “I was as big as a good shit” Which was some shit seeing a I gave her so many complications.
Beneath the surface,Beyond the wall I createdThrough the numbers of the matrix,Underneath the false perceptionAnd Misunderstood representation,Misleading calculated frustrations
"I always wonder why birds choose to stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth, then ask myself the same question."
Someday I will say the word “love” without slurring itwithout murmuring it over the airwaveswithout screaming it through tears,without it cutting my knees in the gravel of the driveway.Our driveway.
Time
Tic, toc, tic...
The infinite sounds of time
The infinite turning of the hands
The withered leaves
The abandoned buildings that used to be
The apple rots when it very well pleases
The seed just does what it’s told
It grows and grows, the ground picks up the pieces
Of the apple tree’s selfish mold.
There’s no free will for the sapling
When will my bones stop aching
when will my chest stop quaking
from my missing you
I must be the one
I must become some one
so I can love myself more than you
A rush enters like a veiling curtain
Of cascading water;
A vaporous fall, endlessly joining
Aqueous substances below.
Descending from a starlit heaven,
How could my heart retain
Survive the storm, thunder, and rain,
dig deep inside to locate the pain.
Follow its stem down to the roots,
unveil the confusion and discover the fruits.
Life employs a different meaning to each individual
Is this awakened state of being existence?
Or rather the opposite…
Are we really living in an illusion, fooled by the conscious mind?
I have a past, we all do
Some of it is lies, other things are true
My grandma said I lied about rape
My aunt said I was fake
My church said I was a mistake
My friends said they needed a break
She wakes up but refuses to get out of bed; she’s too scared to allow more thoughts in her head
Standing before her mirror she begins her daily ritual, who will she be today?
I feel as more than flesh and bone
When I walk my feet don’t drag a corpse
Because I’ve heard the song of my heartbeat’s tone,
The melody beyond all words
Don’t ever dream to wage a war
Against the powers that be
You’ll scratch and claw and only get sore
I beg of you, pen, just tell me the truth
In some beauty that yanks at my tears
When I taste your strength I learn that my
Potential outlives my years
"Do it again."
"But why? Isn't it good enough?"
Aren't I good enough?
"Not if you want to compete in this industry. Now, do it again."
"Okay."
The woods were encumbering in the sunrise.
My gut wrenched with uncertainty of the buzzing feeling
atop my forehead.
A little green creature rested in the nests of my tousled hair,
Broken roads engulfed with rubble
A heart apiece, blind eyes focusing
Who can stand to face the trouble
The hearts that burn, spurned
Eager to face another day, wanting
LIFE
It's a journey, that's what life is,
Many paths to choose from,
The choice is yours, pick wisely and reap rewards,
Or play the ignorant fool,
We all have a voice inside us
That wants to be heard
To scream above the mountain tops
Our greatest dreams and fears
To express oneself for all to hear
Would be a dream come true
It has taken mea very long timeto come to this point,but I’m realizing nowafter eighteen yearsof my lifethat it is okay to feel.I spent so many monthsof my life
Pain is there,
Day by day.
Pain without shame,
Yet i'm about to kill the pain.
Fame that can't ease my pain,
But yet you make me feel the shame.
The shame it comes,
It goes it's way.
A blossoming network,
Parts new and old,
Compositions of data,
To you, it's sold.
QWERTYUIOP
ASDFGHJKL;
ZXCVBNM
The keyboard, the tool.
Sites to surf,
Swirling eddies down the riverside tumble and curl while I pick up a rock
I throw it; watch it collide with the simmering surface of the dark world beneath
I’m taking a bath; commanding the bubbles and soap
I've dated eight people now in the last year.
I need a break, this is crazy.
I tell my friends all these stories on how each one fails.
I don't understand why thry jsut leave.
If there came a day
Where life outran me
I would return to my
Parents home
Beaten by the world
Weathered by time
And caked in mud
I would hang my head
What we feel is what we know.
It is delicate, fragile.
Punctured and bruised.
Touched and healed.
What we feel is what we know.
And every time, the goosebumps grow,
Slowly coming sucky death
getting closer with each breath
within my heart there burns a flame
that gets brighter at the sound of your name.
How can you love me?
When I hurt you so bad?
How can you see me and think, "He's the one?"
I know I deserve to be left a lone
To be throw to hyenas like traitors should be,
How can you love me?
I look outside and see,
The world is waiting for me,
There is much to learn,
And it all comes in turn,
all I have to do is turn the knob,
And prepare for the job.
You will need:
1 human body (preferably fresh)
1 absorbent mind
2 parts ambition
1 part hard work
3 parts hormones
1 part friendliness
16/18 cups knowledge (Depends of consistency)
With a beauty like hers, no one can deny,
Her heart full of gold, and her eyes filled with such integrity,
With her locks of bronze blonde waves and the skin looks like a model.
As a baby, I laid and cried in my crib
Observing the sunlight peering through my window
I'm finally going to fill up the pages of my life.
No more blanks. No more hesitation to fill in the spaces
with bold, deliberate strokes.
I'm going to be able to focus again
apart i’m quite
a different thing.
without the weight
of your arms
to center my toss-turn tendencies,
i place four fingers
to stake out my breast bone
counting hard edges
Concerned hand
Shoots up
Riddled with
Purple tracks along
Vein’s corridors indicating
Another kind of shooting
Eyes glassy yet aware
Functioning child
Unknowing of what his
Happiness
Anger
Love
Hate
Presence
Absence
Prompt
Late
Pride
Embarrassment
Confidence
Worry
Ignore
Obsess
Delay
We live in a world where no one is accepted
It’s 2014 and nothing much has changed
Society is way harsher now than it was in 1960
1960 was the time where everyone accepted each other for who they were
I came to life to dream
to beam, to seem
to have a purpose.
I came to life to reap
not sleep, not keep
my pride holding me back.
For my job is to be under
the hunter of clothes.
Whenever I tell people I want to write for a living,
they give me a funny look that says 'good luck'
in a sarcastic way, though.
Most people don't think anyone can make it writing,
writing for television,
With headphones in, A determined stare.
I type for you but a passage, for all readers to share.
Viewers reflect, make choices, prepare.
The future is approaching, with its army of fear.
If I could change one thing about myself
Maybe I would go back to being an embryo
And change how I think about men
So that when I got to the seventh grade
I wouldn’t fall in love
With my best friend
Love is a roller coaster
Sharing new experiences with one another
Its a experiment when two hearts are joined together
There's no point in know what the outcome shall be
It can easily be taken for granted
The first kiss. It was paradise
An awkward teenage experience
Yet it was beautiful
A feeling filled with joy and happiness
It was messy but satisfying it was my first time
A sense of breath coming quickly
The first kiss. It was paradise
An awkward teenage experience
Yet it was beautiful
A feeling filled with joy and happiness
It was messy but satisfying it was my first time
A sense of breath coming quickly
Many jobs can change a life.
Teacher, doctor, husband, wife.
In many ways large or small,
A single role to benefit all.
The professional I aspire to be,
Has more or less chosen me.
Who can define success?
What does it truly mean?
Could it be something tangible that we can have?
Or is it considerably unattainable, obscure, and unseen?
How do I find this road to success,
I sat in class a brain ahead of me
It was dissection day and time to play
The teacher handed me the master key
I cut around matter that is grey
And discovered my new fascination
It is not about the money.
It is about what makes you happy.
The check is appealing.
But is the job base on your feeling?
Boring office job or exciting danger.
Simple life or adventure.
Oh what would I possibly do
and who on earth would I be,
if for just one tiny moment
Torn between the two.
I have a friend who knows me inside and out,
and another friend who is still trying to figure me out.
What am I supposed to do?
The best friend who I love,
The dream is always changing,
yet it stays the same.
To be a prima ballerina,
to be a surgeon,
a singer,
a broadway star.
To be a proffessional hurdler.
To be an astronuat.
One Job
One day
two ways I say
Experience and Education are the ways
three things i must say to the people
who didnt believe,refuse to help,or just dont care
Can one job define us?
Can our hunger for success, fulfillment, and adventure be satisfied with just one job.
What if I told you yes!
Would you believe me?
Probably not! Am I right?
She comes to meNot only listening, but living what I speak.
She steps up to the plate.She swings.She succeeds.
The creditall given to her,but she thanks me.
oh father
what has happenedto you?
what on earth stole from you your guitar?
and told you to stop singing to your baby girl?
oh father
theres a darkness that settles in your eyes thsese days.
Down and I mean really down,under the facad of reality,under the illusions of life.Under what man percieves to be right and wrong.
What if I could earn my degree in college?
What if I could go to Japan?
What if I could get paid to edit manga?
Or what if I'm turned down?
What if they say nay,
what if, what if, WHAT IF?!
These words are in my head
Shouting, begging to be released.
They have slowed but never ceased,
Weighing me down like lead.
I try to keep them inside
Tucked away in the dusty corners
Curled up
Trapped within
A living shell
I slam against it
Scratch at it
Work harder than I ever have
But even when
It is open
I still am not free
Devilish deliverer of darkness
Eerie establisher of ease
Faithless father of fear
Because i loved am able to let to
because i loved i was able to close
my eyes to the noise of the world
The words that shot throw my heart
breaking every lungs and bones
how am i still able to breath
I've always been a dreamer.
i've always wanted things that were just too far out of my reach.
Yesterday, I wanted to be a singer on Broadway's bright stages.
I still do, and I always will.
Ah, the children!
Beautiful, adorable, cheerful
From the moment of birth
To their late teens.
Who could ask for a better job?
Helping them stay healthy
and being at their side
The years past way faster than I thought,
I am almost an adult and childhood I fought.
Now I search for who I will be,
Stiving for my dream job you see.
A nurse who flies way up high,
You hear the yells and the screams and you know what it all means.
You know it will lead to the inevitable passive aggressive comments.
His failures and her sins will always go hand and hand.
The wind picks up and the horizon turns burgundy red
The people of this city scurry to their expensive cars
Racing to get home to see the kids, to finish the game, for dinner.
But what they don’t see
If I could, my eyes wouldn’t blink so fast.
My oh so lonely heart wouldn’t feel so smothered.
I walk in.
Adrenaline, excitement, panic, and love crash into me all at once.
I look up.
Hundreds of lights, thousands of colors, and endless possibilities hang above me.
I look out.
I would change Love ,
Love would be free,
Love would be open,
Love would have no limits ,
Love wouldn't need approval from others,
Love would need honesty ,
Love would have cherishing moments ,
I made my choice.
Winter had come over me,
I fought it for a while,
But eventually I caved and let it take me.
I look into your foxy eyes
All lit up with your smile,
My heart begins to race,
And then I go into denial.
I push back all the bad times
And bring forth all the good,
So even though it's mostly bad
If an Author is a job than believe me my life will be changed.
I sit and pondered on what is it I want to do for the rest of my life.
It came clear to me that it would be to write.
I look and see greatness and admiration.
I always have to look pass my procrastination.
I would like to change that so I could get more things done.
Love you I do,Love you I will,Help you I do,Help you I will.What are you going to do with your life?What are you going to do with yours?I’ve helped,
More than a shadow
My sweetheart
A friend, sister
Rain in tears
Tracked by the past
My soul mate
One day
I find myself fly away
Leave this world
Above the stars
Back again
Never letting go of me
Shifting, thinking, bending
You twist my body
Whirling me around
Glamorous
you are the stars i gaze at every single night
you are the sun i wake to with its rays of golden light
you frolic in my orangejuice and snuggle in my bread
you've nestled in my heart and you've rooted in my head
If I could change the world, I wouldn't change it.
For we already have the capability to rearrange it.
We are a feeling species.
Full of love and of hate.
Yet we cannot appretiate that fact.
One thing I would change, with a poem:
Yeah, and it's funny how it goes
sitting in my room and finding all your clothes.
and I laugh, I laugh but I pull them to my face
As he sat down next to me
Casually pulled me onto his lap
He didnt mean it, I couldn't see
I felt my knees get weak and collapse
His smile took me away
When he whispered quietly in my ear
Everyday I give someone a warm hug
I warm their spirits and make them snug
But I, who gives these warm hugs
Feel cold like and empty mug
For although I love to see
A smile made by me
waiting in the sideines
for someone to come along
doesnt have to be anyone
just dont let me be alone
cant wait any longer
for something thats not meant to be
please come for me
somebody
waiting for a war to begin
can't get past the sin
trying for a new begining
in a world still blooming
i always wonder what i'd be like
if i hadn't met you
im only looking
for someone who'll say
I followed him desperately
Did anyone see?
Craving him, half-heartedly
thinking till someone catches us. We
who look like thieves, however
nothing to take but my lustful purity.
he was mine and I was his he held the love of her and I
his little hands is what I remember most, the way they fit in mine.
I let you go.
Why did I let you go?
Eyes that paraded a bright blue tint
Spoke words that only I could interpret.
I worry for the worst,
Wistfuly hanging and hoping for the moment,
When something will be dfferent,
When something will come first,
Something besides just looks and stares,
For the longest time
I felt as though I didnt belong
Crowds stormed right through me
Never giving me a second glance.
For the longest time
I didn't know I was special
Or beautiful
This world has a cold heart will someone warm it up?
I sit at the table with no one to pick up the other cup.
Inside me burns a fire that needs to be kindled
People can only judge me as far as their eyes can see
But no one really knows the real me
It's only safe when I can see their smiles on me
Persscussion, Hatred, Fear, and other words that describe to me Seperation
We fear unexplained
We fear Culture
We fear the world
God gave us the will, the means but can we use it?
Little boy Joe and twin brother Nicky,
Play pirate outside and often are icky.
In their dad's study they find a large chest,
And small captain fingers get it all sticky.
We seed
We grow
We bud
We blossom
We spread
We wilt
As my short,
Singular life progressed,
I thought not of those ‘round me
I thought only of getting to the top.
Pain , I say i wont complain bearing the burden, words like birds fly to verbs then contain the vains
of my plain out of frame eyes
Simplicity is rich to the poor mans eyes.
Why war, why rumor, why lies?
A books cover is beautiful, tho torn inside.
Leave out the war, rumors, and lies.
A book was not meant to attract flies.
Overcome.
Vainity was my addiction
Even now it's my affliction.
Rivers running
Away, away, the burning
Sun. Sunsets are limited,
You never know which will be your last
One. One burst of beauty,
You and I are different
You and I are the same
You and I are pieces of the same game
You and I are black
His hands are rough as stone.
His eyes are filled with fire.
His hair is brown like a mocha.
His head rest perfectly on top of my head.
His hands maybe rough but they are gentle when he touches me.
You look at me with star brightened eyes.
You see my moment of weakness -
As you watch my wall that I've tried for so long to build -
Crashes to the ground.
Because, you see, unlike you, I had no walls.
Growing up with ones you love, and that love you
making friends in a new school growing with the ones close to you as they grow too
Can He still feeel the nails dig in?
Each time I fall and just give in
To evey lie? To evey sin?
I'm looking at the waves, entranced by their strength. They throw me under and thrust me aside, as if my presence isn't a bother at all. Yet when I look into the compressed sands, I see my reflection magnified.
If you are a real christian you will love everyone, for love is the greatest commandment of all,Hatred causes arguments, but love overlooks all wrongs.
At first, it flickers, blinking in face of the world's bright lights.With fear it strengthens, as not to be left behind.Gently waving, emitting its own light, growing, stealthily growing
Graciously black
Open winged butterfly
Gliding through the sky
Where do you go when you’re all alone?
Is there a place you call home?
You land here
You land there
Always on the go
A placing a plate of cookies and glass of warm milk for Santa
On the dining room table was a waste of time
At least I got to witness my father gobble it down
I left my soul on your floor last night. Battered, and cold. The cracks in the tile cradled my scarlet letter, safely. Your hands strong; sweet.I was certain that this was honest—perhaps naive.
Ms. C, my favorite thing about writingIs taking time to really decode it,But in your class I’m frequently fightingWhen you imply that all our thoughts are shit.You lecture us, but last year Ms. K taught.
I love you.
I can’t believe that you for some crazy reason love me too.
I just wanted to write this to say thank you
Thank you for what you’ve done in my life
And what you did on that cross.
Who do you think you are? You think you have power over me, the ability to suppress my creativity and freedom of speech.
Here I am, just me,
Standing on the mountain top.
I have changed, renewed.
Look at you sitting behind that desk, acting all high and mightyWe are not your toys to fuck withWe are human beingsWe are teenagers, hormonal brats that need help during this crucial time
They don’t wanna see me with you, they say I can do better
But what do they know?
Tellin me how to feel and how to love
At the end of the day nobody knows about this but US
We have ceased the pursuit of knowledge
In turn clipping the wings of imagination
And violently stunting the growth of creativity
We have given in to the monotonous drawl
Would you rather be in love OR would you rather be alone and heartbroken forever?
Would you rather learn and make your future successful OR would you rather have no future?
Life.
Wrap me up in it.
Feed me it by spoon.
Or drown me in it.
Just, leave me to submerge.
I'll be fine.
Just...Let me be.
Let me live.
I'm under lock and key,
You say I don't know shit, but whose teaching me?
You say I won't match up to anything, but whose teaching a student that smarter than them?
When you say "Goodbye, I love you,"
I just wanna take you away
and show you a better place
than the dashboard and the faces
people make.
The rain dropsnot from the clouds,but from the Heavens above.They drip from the treetopsand drop from each branchand nestle into leaves,glisten on webs woven tight fromspiders at night,
Everywhere I turn there are hundreds
Of dazzling smiles
So, so many are surrounding me
In a radius of miles
But not me, no. I do not smile
Because I am no one
Day in and day out.
Everything's the same.
I can't stand it when you call out my name.
Day in and day out.
You spend nine days on a topic
I swear, I'll get a gun and learn how to cock it.
People get tagged with these labels,
Straight,
Bisexual,
Lesbian,
or Homosexual.
I just want people to accept me.
I play ball,
I dress different,
I'm not girly,
Are we really this dirty generation,
or are we just aiming for what we
believe youth should look like – I can’t tell.
Why did we start doing drugs in middle school?
In a suburban community, no less.
My Demise
Abandonment overcame my being in the beginning,
Tick. Tock. The clock chimed days away before my hopeful eyes
Adolescence is only
but a piece in my puzzle
Its reminiscence
cascade in parts that portray
the whole image
Appearing in glossy
bent forms,
But my experiences
are only components of my
I was settled in bed that night
Had just turned out the light
When I started thinking how good life seemed
Before I became a teen
Then I worried about
Moving out
And paying taxes and buying a house
There is something growing inside me.
I couldn’t tell you how it got in, or what it even is, but it grows grows grows.
It’s not everyday that I feel it.
Tightly Closed,
She waits for sunrise.
Then she blooms.
Her petals burst into various shades;
Buds that endured the rain and the drought,
But never wasted their time
To grow.
There’s a part of me that loves.
There’s a part of me that hates.
There’s a part of me that rages.
There’s a part of me that balances it all out.
Love and hate are balanced no more.
Breathe sound, breathe calm
Take long breathes, give long hugs
Dance in the rain, let it take the pain away
Breathe soft, breathe proud
Speak out loud
Cry, sleep, dream and repeat
Love thy name
Why not love it?
It is special
Love thy name
Was is it not sent from above?
It matches the beautiful person
Love thy name
Could you be with you without it?
Brace all of those that you meet. This life is not certain, it is not steady…But the power to control it is within yourself.
Believe in the best in others, but be wary of the misfortune they may bring.
There was a little butterfly,
and someone told it not to fly.
So now that little butterfly,
is too afraid to fly.
Someone came along,
and clipped its wings.
With words,
A young girl steps down—
vanity becomes so small
inside of herself.
A woman steps out
of the shallow pool of pride
and lets herself love.
Despite injustice
When I look at you, I wonder how you knew
Knew that my soul would need saving
That my heart was eternally breaking
You found me dying on the floor
Because back then I was nothing more than a dirty little whore
A dream desired
But you’re hanging by strings
Like a puppet on a wire
You used to love yourself
You see the girl in the mirror but you don’t know her
The pain in life we must endure
may become too much
be we cannot lose sight
of what we once held dear
Wounds of the body can be healed
wounds of the mind can be treated
but wounds of the soul
Most people call it busy,
A constant movement,
A flutter in one direction
Get this:
You have no clue you're movin'
Caught in the crossroads
Two paths to choose
But some can't afford
I remember I started out as a seed.
Being born in Dayton Ohio on a spring day
of March 29, 1994 at 6:09 in the morning.
As I grow I begin to be mature
and talked more. I remember I didn't
I'm down on my fucking knees
I'm crying out oh help me please
No! You stand on your own
Theres no one around they have all left you
Its your turn now its time to save you
I write to escape, to embody myself in a world free of space and time where my pen can't keep up with my mind as I overflow with rhyme expressing my love, expressing my life.
I write to release,
I write to not feel.
I write to express feelings that I know are real.
I write when I'm confused,
I write when I'm alone,
I write when there's no one but myself at home.
He’s testing his immortality
With pain killers and a false promise
That for him, there won’t be a tomorrow.
But he is Zeus,
And he always lives to watch the sun rise,
Breathe in,
Sigh,
Bite your lip,
Don’t cry.
What goes up, Must come down,
But this game we play
keeps spinning around.
I just want to fall,
Down to my knees,
Pleading to God,
The steps we make not only guides us throughout our journey, but the voyage towards our goals
You held me through the coldest of winters.We watched the colors of fall fade,And the world was washed away.Together we stayed warm and safe,Never afraid and never alone.But when spring came,
you say you feel alone
i told you im here
you confide in me
yes,
but who says i dnt need you?
your my friend
my love
there are things you do for me
that you dont understand
My selfish self wants to stand out and shine,
Like the glowing eyes from the roadside in the night
Making many folks alert of my existence.
Yet, all my life I’ve been watching from behind those dazzling bright eyes,
We all face our own demons
We all battle it through
Why is mine still here?
Oh No...
Is this mine
My premium punishment
This is why i can’t move on
Why my hurt
i write because others write
one day i heard someone speak without making a sound
the book opened on my lap spilled with words that were so loud
at the end of every sentence and/or phrase, was a bold statement
In your whispers I hear you scream.
On your cold hands I feel your heartbeat.
When you blink I see the color of your eyes,
The same jewels you stare at in the night skies.
Why I write
The externalization of my internal fight
My words take flight
What I convey not always a delight
The emotions are real,
Flashing before your eyes
Masquerading in my desguise
I used to be depressed
And at times I even desired death
My feelings were strong and extreme
It was the consequence
Of trials and times
That clearly took a toll on me
I am done not being done
I lost it all, the fat is gone
I tried, I really tried
Then, I had a moment with the mirror, it all came back
As a girl I used to eat like a bike lacking breaks
who do you think you are
be aware about what you are saying
gay bi straight we are all the same
we eat the same food we breath the same air
love is love no matter who it's with
I record dreams.Not because I believe they are full of meaning,But because they were something I experienced,And I don't like to forget,That which I have experienced.
ITS IN MY SOUL TO EXPPRESS MY INNER THOUGHTS
THAT SCREAMING VOICE THAT NO ONE CAN TOUCH
TAKES OVER MY FINGERS
THAT BRINGS NO FEAR
IM UNTOUCHABLE WHEN I HAVE A PEN NEAR
Why I write
is simply so
when my words sprout wings
and take off into my soul
my mind and spirit
filled with dismay
writing is the ticket
as I take on the soul train
Why I write
The way he stares,
makes me turn lush,
for eyes he glares,at me turn
mush.
I see myself in his eyes,
the want in his glare to have me
there in sighs.
And I said my share of words to spare,
I believe that in order for someone to truly develop and mature
they must invest in themselves.
In order to invest in themselves they must recognize what type of person he or she is
Escaping from it's place some time ago,
no direction - searching for an unknown soul.
In need of comfort, another person who's unclear.
Looking and looking, and the time comes near.
Poetry is more than words
put together in rhymes and stanzas.
It’s more than a couplet
Or even iambic pentameter.
To me it iss utter expression.
A way to scream and shout
You use them to communicate,
you use them to express your hate,
you use them to depict your fate,
you use them to inovate.
but i use them to fight,
i use them to make things right,
I’m at a state of confusion, so many emotions bubbling to the surface.
I hate you, I love you, I look up to you, I look down at you.
Words written in led or words written in ink;
whenever I find a chance, I really begin to think.
Words written in red or words written in pink;
When I find the chance to write, it feels like it was meant to be.
limit of limitations are limitless when i script dreams onto a blank page filled with ideas just awaiting to happen. The thought that no one or nothing could say that im wrong.
I
Invent the non-existent
Realize the reality of the unreal
Imagine the unimaginable
Read an unwritten story
I create
Accept the possibility of the impossible
Expect the unexpected
I hate those days... When all smiles are forced. Laughing is lying. I hate those days, When getting out of bed, Seems like a step into hell. I hate those days, When your mind cannot find peaceful oblivion; there is nothing to help.
And when work is done,This poem has left me...My soul refreshed,AnewI feel cleansed.
On her birthday a small girl gets
A tiny blank book with flowered cover
And starts to write lyrics to her regrets.
A medium girl rediscovers
A composition book with slight blue lines
So tired and alone he cries but no one knows
The world turned dark, his hands start shaking and he says goodbye
Storm clouds fill his eyes and he lashes out
All he wanted was a little love
Knees bent as you take your mark. You know that feeling when you forget and wash away and race across that finish line and the ribbon breaks. Then suddenly you come back to life.
The world around us is full of turmoil and dangers
Little girls are being abducted and raped by strangers
People don’t really know how to express these feelings deep down inside them
I've fallen from heaven, down upon the Earthback to the cold world, to the place of my birth
I'm sitting here at night, alone out on the streetwith little clothing on my back and no shoes on my feet.
Free
Yesterday
I saw a girl
Who used
To tease me
Back when I was much younger.
I wanted
To ignore her
So much
Because of
At thirteen, I was
expressive in my depressive thoughts.
Pen and paper allow my words to take permance
where in my mind they remainded tangled knots
At thirteen, I discoverved
I write because I have a story to tell. A story of hurt, pain, and depression. I write to relieve pain. To try to foget the past. I write to spill the secrets of the past. I write to tell others that it will be okay.
Today I am a leader,
An independent,
A scholar.
Yesterday I was shy.
Timid,
And a follower.
Today I speak in front of large crowds,
Rooms of people,
Normal is a horribly ugly word
It imprisons the people it labels
takes beauty and cages the bird
Diaries make for lonely companions
yet here I write my darkest words
As the shadows on the wall mimic phantoms
Poetry is fluid
Poetry is right
Poetry is life
Poetry is fight
Poetry is fun
Poetry is truth
Poetry is ...
Expressing you
When she passed, I felt nothing
Like a blank sheet of paper
I begged for someone to write my story
My life was blank, lifeless like a ripped page from a notebook
With frayed edges, coming undone at the spine
Pride;
It’s often seen as someone who loves attention.
People see it as someone who evokes nonsense.
Power;
The first thought that comes to mind is control;
Those with power are accused of always controlling.
Are you proud of me?
I wanted so badly, to be, what you wanted me to be.
I've tried,
I've struggled,
I've fought,
And I've stumbled.
Am I proud of where I am today?
I'm here,
Oh happiness, take me upon your wings
fly me above and away
take me farther than my dreams
on the dawn of breaking day
Poetry helped destroy the Berlin Wall.
Poetry encouraged Allied nations to liberate all decent prisoners off the Holocaust’s downfall.
It has been the start of my life
and the birth of my heart.
It has sparked my interest
and left its mark.
Poetry has been a part of my life,
for many years it would seem.
It has helped me out
I write to live
Writing keeps to alive
writing makes me want to stay
knowing some day
i could save a life
just by sharing mine.
writing gives me a voice.
writing gives me a choice.
I walk
I walk down the hall to classI hear laughter, chuckles, and gigglesI start to hear voices
Voices telling me;
Thoughts of life,
Thoughts of death.
Earlier days of a shallow nature,
With hope that with life comes depth.
Breathe in, breathe out.
It doesn't matter.
You matter.
Sitting in an empty roomContemplating on what to do.Eyes filled of tearsA smile to hide her fears.Not even her closest friend knowsOf the secret she withholds.Blood running down the drain
The reason you exist, is because you were the first sperm to reach the egg.
The reason you were born, is because you fought your way out of your mother’s womb.
What is WHO?
And...
WHO is I?
Am I yesterday crashing through
the
night
Into TOday?
Like an Alice in a world
Unknown
Does the looking glass look back?
What
You would think that love would be easy to find
I mean Isn't it stronger than anything?
I wish i could find someone i could love
with the heart that ive already given away
Not only that...
Why do we write?
Why does poetry exist?
"Poetry is useless"
Well this world is fruitless
These words I speak, type, write
my only sense of light
Our only way to fight
Morning light blazing into mine eyesA ray of hope to my sleepless nightsMy soul cascaded across the skiesNaked before His light all too brightYou and I had broke all tiesBut just to let you know, I am alright
I say I love truth,But all I am is lies.It has been this way from my youth,to hide what I am inside.Sometimes you look into my eyes,But all courage in me has died.From dawn until late dusk,
In this world I only have me
No one cares if I fall off the face of the earth
They wouldnt come looking for me
Just one less person in this world
Im out in the shadows and once in a while people notice me
Life really is what you make it.
You can either be sad about a sad situation, or you can think about the positive.
A wonderer -- A wanderer -- Imagine it!
To be.
Where you adjust your frame of mind
to fit your every piece.
And every patch you thought was waste?
And shard that pricked and screeched?
Poetry, How I express my feelings, My love, My Pain, My thoughts, It gets me through the tough times, And guides me to the happy ones, It is my stress relief, My shoulder to cry on, My Love, My Addiction, Such a simple word, Is "Poetry", But its p
Moonshine floods the curtain lace and bathes the room in colors of soft serenity.
If I cannot speak, the writing will do it so
As I write my chapters of life, words can let you know
One moment I feel like dropping the pen
But I hold onto it and keep going again.
Why not write what makes you feel
I write to understand the things that make us real
It keeps me on my heels, my brain on wheels
To keep from the burn out being the end of my lifes movie reel
Sometimes in life things change
We watch what we used to have start to fade
Drift back into outer space, like Pluto from its planet name
People we used to know go as strangers as we walk by
POETRY...
A VERBAL WINDOW TO THE SOUL WHEN THE EYES ARE CLOSED
POETRY TO ME HAS MORE VALUE THAN ANY RARE STONE OR GOLD
I SPILL THESE WORDS FROM MY MIND AND YOU'LL SEE MY STORY UNFOLD
When You Have a Big House or
When You Have Only Greens In your wallet
You Don’t See the Real’s and Fakes
Of Both Life and Wealth
Why do I write?
An almost unanswerable question, to me…
Like asking, why can’t the blind see?
Why do people cry peace to fight?
A tree.
A rock.
A laugh.
A smile.
So ordinary, and yet so charged
With meaning, breathing life and depth and pain.
I look.
I gaze.
If you know the rules know em' If you have a plan stick to the plan.
Times is hard than you think.
My people stay hungry just to eat.
Run to the top just to get there and there is a lot to see.
As the world changes.
I feel the devil is dominating.
We are locked in cages.
Afraid to walk out and be noticed by a stranger.
People getting bombed and this news is not the latest.
If I throw it, you would catch it.
If I had a problem, you would solve it.
Asked for comfort, you would give it.
My friend, you are dear to me.
The world---much worse than the economy---
is violent.
I watched my motherfrom under water. Therewas a perfume risingoff the morning sea.She sang slow andbreathed it all in.
She watched my heartslowly softening.
I'm sitting here thinking about what to writeit's been years since I tried to learn how to ryhmetyping isn't easyand this is just worsetrying to explain to people that making poetry makes me burst
At the sound of the tone please release emotions.........(beep)
IM A CRYBABY
*Ring Ring* "Wassup bae" "nothing".......................(30 minutes of silence)
IM A BRAT
AMBITION OVERWHELMS ME
THE MOTIVATION TO DO BETTER EMPOWERS ME
MUSIC IS THE PASSION DEEP DOWN WITHIN MYSELF
THAT HAS NO PROBLEM EMERGING TO BLESS OTHERS
MUSIC THE UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE THAT INSPIRES ALL
To love is to feel pain. To love means giving your whole heart to someone else. It's a tricky thing, unexplainable and sometimes unreasonable. It makes you vulnerable and leaves you wanting more of it.
Ahhh ! I cant sleep. my eyes pry open, my mouth screams leave me be, ive been done wrong, done wrong and it's hard to be me. every thought is ruined by one person, that one person that told me i could never be successful in life.
I don’t know where I’m going, but how I get there’s up to me
I give myself extra time for things I need to complete
I still search for my four-leaf clover in a field of threes
No title for the missery I been facing. Consistent in my tears only God know what Im thinking. So im praying like listen can you hear me. I cherish what I love most dearly like my girl and who I envy.
> Forever mine,
> Forever yours:
> words littered on
> innocent shores.
>
> Those promises
> collapsed by waves,
> when washed away,
> they've carved our graves.
(poems go here)Blinded by the light, wondering what brings the speeding thoughts rushing through my mind.
Sorting through the piles of emotions, memories, and present feelings to find an understanding of who I am.
Long gone are the days when my delicate hand fit into your protecting one, and you
were my super hero
Long gone are the days when a magical kiss from you on my boo-boo made the pain
go away
A family member gone.
Not even able to understand why you were so cold.
Trapped in my sorrow, these words were the only way to go.
You left me without warning, how could you go?
Poetry came in my darkest days
In a rehab far far away
My thoughts were a constant battle til we met
Poetry at first gave me my sanity
Now I write to help
To get my story out
To reach out to others
Maybe we are all here
placed on this earth
to fear and love and grow,
to experience pain
but also
love, joy, happiness
to grow close to one another
to build relationships
to never hate
Full circle
Press forward, harder, stronger…show ’em what you’re made of.
Prick your finger – blood. You are human,
Alive.
Harness the light,
Grasp it, hold it…be one with it.
Little boy who claims to know love
Manipulates visions of rose petals and doves
Your words fill my mind with images to relate
False happiness comes with the lies you create
Oh you confused little boy
Stuck in an abyss, knowing I can’t resistFacing things without big risksEven if I’m bleeding from my wristsI’ll still look for happiness, even if it didn’t exist
Poetry
My escape from the rest of the world,
the action that leads my imagination far and beyond,
my escape from the world, writing poetry,
when under stress, pressure, and just bad moments in life,
Poetry is an outlet.
An escape from reality.
Poetry is community.
A form of sharing emotional connection with others.
Poetry is life.
A seperate world inside you're mind.
Birthed by the Earth,
God planted me here.
I've grown not much
throughout these long years.
Roots settled in,
My stalk began to rise.
As a fragile bud, though,
I turned from sunrise.
Since the beginning I can remember;
That red light on my little finger.
That same light; I visualize.
The sad look in my mother’s eyes,
And the droning levels of my cries.
It’s commencing.
Hark to the faster beating of my heartAs my eyes see that time hath grown much less.Wherefore dost we leave so near from the start?The thought hath haunted me, I must confess.
She was the lightning that danced across his night skies. He was her rock when her waves broke on the shores. She was the rock he broke himself against. She was the mystery he couldn't quite solve.
Ask me who I am, and I will not hear you,
for I am deep within this crowd calling out my own name.
I will not know the sound of my own voice
until it whispers back.
Until then, I will spend my hours
(poems go here)
Poetry is a song just without the music
Its really up to you on how you chose to use it
It reminds me of life it goes on and on
Not ever stopping until the author gets done
You left me
You were once Mine
Once
Your hold, your lips, all mine
Once
I remember the sleepless nights we spent together
creating passion, solving problems
I wish I could draw or paint.
Or maybe take lovely photographs.
I wish I could speak eloquently
Or perhaps add large numbers in my head
And solve elaborate equations.
But I can’t.
If today I were a poet I would make a difference.
Ability in my mental agility would impress.
Much admiration and appreciation would appear, but I digress.
Although I am not part of the generation that was lost,
To me poetry is the echoes of a dark cave.
You stand in the dark and tell it all your secrets
Some words double back
others come back distorted and unrecognizable
A few come back as music never to be forgotten
My story may not be long but it's a good read.
Carelessly flipping through the pages?
You might miss something.
The young girl who was filled with joy who's trust in people went void.
Tumble out of bed
Cowlicks curl out of place
Bare feet pad delicately on the cold wooden floor
Shivers rack your body
Rush out the door
Hair wiping every which way
Don't miss the bus!
o Return
Am I in too deep? Past the point the point of No Return?
Or am I too stupid and blind, A lesson I refuse to learn?
Am I giving enough? Is it all it should be?
(poems go here)
In Too Deep
I'm drowning...no air
I can't breathe...I can't think
All around me is water--a torrential storm
I should be afraid, I should be scared
But I am not....
I can’t help but think way back, when things were laid back
And people weren’t looking for payback
I can honestly say that I miss that
Back when you can wear what you want, with out having to worry
Spectators
As the saying goes, in the city of the blind
The one eyed man is king
Well in the town of the mute, glorious is he who sings
And when the majority is deaf, he who listens is left,
I’ve tasted the mother-load of honey, and now I see – that the vision you have of me, Is far different than the one I envisioned of me.
As a young child I held in a lot of anger,
Negativity, rage, unlocked power.
Such an opinionated mind never exposed,
Due to my shy need to keep my mouth closed.
“The words never come out right!”
Ever wondered how things could be in a different life? As a different person
Wishing and dreaming to be someone you know you could live with for certain
Yeah we all do it, and if you don't that's a fib
It is in that moment you know what you want
The moment you:
Flip a coin and hope it lands where you desire
Make a wish and blow out the candles on your cake
Those moments you don't realize what you want
(poems go here)Let this be a token, I leave the mic smoking
One with the track yeah the word is spoken
The city leaves you broken eyes get swollen
You just want to cry till your whole body soaking
Ears of paper. Writing is my voice. Every time I put ink to the paper, its by choice. Every mark is a tear. Every erase is a fear. Every word is what the paper hear. Rather its sad, bad, or someone you wish you had.
I write for power.
Power for she who will find the power in her heart.
I write for beauty.
Beauty for she who is beginning to see beauty in her mirror.
I write for hope.
Enough's enough.
More like enough never came.
A home filled with hate and friends fueled with envy.
What's it even mean to contain jealousy?
What do you think when your not with him? Or does he even cross your mind?
What does it feel like when you hear him call someone else your name? Or does it even effect you?
It all started when he said loved me. When he would hold my hand tightly as if I would slip away if he didn't.
As a young girl I had always felt
That something was seriously missing
From this place I lived called "The Bible Belt."
The people spoke, hissing;
And some insult was always dealt
Come here, take my hand.
Fear me not, I understand.
It is your fear speaking, and I've come for you.
I've come to let you think, I've been what's stopping you.
See the truth is, I'm not. You just don't listen.
Birch,
Your bark once white
Is now black
From all the things we can’t take back.
You’ve shivered in the wind
But now you burn because we’ve sinned
Your shade may be no longer,
Ever since I was a little girl, I was afraid
My circumstances had me in a whirl, but life still called my name
Then I got a little older....maybe a little too old for my age
And I gave up, because their lies were all the same
It's really odd how one can go from looking healthy to the frail ball that lay asleep now.
So called treatment causing blonde hair to fall out in clumps, features to look sunk.
your pain, your thoughts, your dreams
can never be replicated.
your joy enlightens others
even though you have grown and matured.
life goes so quickly,
don't wish it away.
You think I'm scared of sounding stupid.
You tell me it's all right, that I'm "mysterious,"
That you se the cracks of sunshine bursting through my mask and you want to smash it and set me free.
Searching for real and for truth
My heart is genuine In people it looks for hints and clues to who they really are
When open hearts meet the connection's surreal
I am a teenager.
My soul is like the surface of the sun.
It's always changing and rearranging, and each day my heart runs to the beat of a new drum.
Just like every teenager, I am enlightened and exposed to new things.
Splintered amongst our feet,
the birchwood door we have come to love.
Gave comfort in time of refreshment.
Praised security with needless fear.
--A deep sigh in the stress--
The empty chair behind us
is a reminder.
We often see the apparitions,
an outline, not etched in painting,
transcribed in script.
Mommy, why are my hands so small?
Why does everyone say I look like you when I don’t see it at all?
Why do you say I have ocean blue eyes
and run your hands through my hair when it’s nothing but dry?
I can’t help but feel this sense of regret
In every blink, in every breath.
I forced myself ahead a step;
Forgot what it was that I should have kept.
Curiosity breached as temptation crept
I am from Love
A passionate, enchanting, Spontaneity filled Love.
A Till death do them part love...
I am from a single Mother
Death did them part, and brought us close
Summer
Storms, then sunshine
Breaks down the clouds quickly
Heavy wet air splits the sunlight
Apart
Eyes removed from their original place,
where shall they be placed or,
which road shall they take?
Taking over where the last left off,
offering a healing dose to the slight cough.
Sometimes, I don’t know why I cry
Why all of the sudden, I go from a pristine marble statue to sludge
And for the time being, I’ll envelop myself in the darkness
There is a voice that echoes without measure It bounces off the faces of those who came before it It dances in the acres of nostalgia This voice carries a fire That burns Burns With the thrills of a thousand souls It possesses the pain and agony o
Eyes forward. Chin up. Chest out. Head high.
Stiff upper lip, now; that's it. You've got it.
Don't slouch. Fall in line. Step lively. Look pretty.
Lather. Smile. Repeat.
I'm sorry for being silent;
for wishing you were gone,
for wishing I was gone too.
I'm sorry for standing idle;
for not screaming your crime,
for not loving my survival.
I need someone to carry me through the storm, through the pain and into the light; into a place where I can breathe and see without the everlasting shadow and haze of my mistakes...
As you get older
You will start the transformation into adulthood,
Remember to mind your manners
Remember to go to sleep at bedtime
Remember to forget about the monsters in your head
Stop checking under your bed
Tossed in the air, how's it gonna fall?
sometimes two options are easier than all,
but you never really understand,
the power is out of your hands
I can still hear the sound of the echo
November 26, 1997
A daughter is born
To a family of four
Immediately thrust into a competition with the first born
Who she soon learned to abhor.
You said you’d let me be anything I wanted to be…
But I never could believe you
When you couldn’t let me be me.
“Don’t let them play soccer or football until they’re in college!”
The world is changing
And so am I
Gaining new experiences
And learning to get by
I'm growing and thriving
And battling fear
Of being alone
In pursuit of a career
So much is new
I watch each day as the flower grows
I wonder, does it know?
That it grows in a world
where bad things happen, wars are fought, people starve
But still I watch as the flower grows
Tick tock goes the clock
Seconds in our life gone
To no end
We are dying, I am dying
I do not fear it however
I embrace the blackness
Let it consume me
Wallow in self pity, for it is me
