Still Growing
Today I’m talking about the experience of growing
It’s hard. Learning to evolve. Learning to be strong
But I am vital. I am loved. And today, I am glowing.
I may be rash and I may be headstrong. Quick to react. And because of that, it took time to start learning.
But I sowed my earth. I watered my seedlings of love. I bathed them in the warmth of the sun.
To mature takes time. And I will never be perfect. So on my sleeves, I will always wear my flaws.
Be baptized as much as you like, perfection is unattainable. And we shall continue to bare our flaws.
But just like the seeds I have placed so gently in the ground, I am growing.
I learned to be calm. I learned to be kind. To give light to those who have never seen the sun.
And try as I might to evolve into something greater, I still may fall. But I am learning to be strong.
I strive to be the person I needed when I was younger. I strive to never cease the process of learning.
And because of this, I refuse to be the lost cause. You will see me standing there, glowing.
The rain may never cease. But I can be my own candle in the dark, softly glowing.
And if the downpour casts out my light, I will be like magic, reigniting, and undefined by my flaws.
Time moves slowly. And so do I. But this is my time for learning.
The female mind does not mature faster than anyone else’s. For I am still here, fiercely growing.
It is not easy, the undoing of past mistakes. But I will be here, steadfast and strong.
And I know the rain will cease. I know the floodgates will remain unwavering. And I shall wait for the sun.
And may I set my foot down with confidence and wisdom, for I will not be the prodigal son.
I am a culmination of all my loves and losses. And you will see me earn my place, and watch me glowing.
I am transforming. I am working. I am succeeding. I took the first step. And for that, I am strong.
I will not be seen as the kid who didn’t have anyone to teach them better. And no longer shall I be a slave to my flaws.
And this is not the pediatrician’s office. It is a process. I need not be in the 90th percentile of my growing.
The feelings of those you love are important too, and that, I’m still learning.
Do not chastise me for not starting sooner. For I’m still here, learning.
This is all of me now. This is my express purpose, I will be the light I need, in the absence of the sun.
I fear not the locusts, swarming into my hard plowed fields. For I will return at dawn, and continue growing.
Helios may one day forget to bring up our sun, but I am all the light I need, and I will be here, glowing.
Your words are no longer venom and daggers. I will not be the manifestation of your flaws.
Learning to love and be loved takes valuable time. But I will not falter. We both know I am strong.
And though my past may haunt me, may stalk me through the halls, it will not hurt me now. Now I am strong.
And this is a process. I will not graduate this course. I shall remain in a state of perpetual learning.
This is my sleeve. This is where my years of consciousness culminate. I am proud of my flaws.
I will remain optimistic. I will remain unafraid. I have come to be who I am. And I too, will also rise like the sun.
This is my journey. My secrets of the heart. Hear my blood rushing, see my mind glowing.
I am unfinished. A work in progress. Call me incomplete, but understand that I’m still growing.
I am not strong by birth nor nature, but I refuse to be the prodigal son. This process of learning is labored, but the sweat upon my brow shall leave me glowing. My flaws and heart still rest upon my sleeve, but understand that I’m still growing.