Once upon a time, there was a girl seen with talent.
She acted upon it and tried all she could.
Though auditions and essays flowed easily through her,
Making friendships one on one was a whole other world.
I didn't want to be the girl in the park bench,
With a book and earbuds jammed in.
But who could learn to love this reject?
Once I got close...
Once I found someone who I thought I truly loved
And I was naïve enough to think she loved me back and I gave her everything
and anything from me that I thought she wanted.
But I’d been rejected again and again.
I like to call myself smart and I think that I’m funny.
I’m sorry I gave you attention when you really want money.
It took me months to figure myself out.
Everything around me turned inside out. My hair ripped out-My thoughts spilled out-All my emotions were amplified and thrown out!
And I wanted out!
I wanted out.
You destroyed me.
I let myself crumble to pieces.
I picked through every bit to see if there was one tainted piece I could get rid of
to make you want me again, not caring if bits of me were
lost under the couch,
taken by the cat.
I didn't need those pieces. You didn't want those pieces.
But I wanted those pieces.
And someone else wanted those pieces.
He picked me up, and glued me together.
With words of kindness, genuine laughter, careful caresses when he knows I’m not ok,
with these things I was stuck back together.
He loved me and taught me to love myself.
He came running when I fell and placed me higher than I was before.
I didn't appreciate him at first and at first pushed him away.
I’ve snapped at him-
lashed out at him with words I could never mean-
but he took it all in and gave acceptance back out.
I’m still not perfect.
I’m still painting over the cracks that threaten to crumble me into myself again.
But I am not the same girl that was left behind.
I didn't want to be the girl on the park bench.
A book in my face and earbuds jammed in.
I found someone who listened to the words my earbuds were singing
And could give me the line my heart was missing.
I don't want to be alone again.
And because of the people I surround myself with now, I never will be.