Toxicity
To my ex-best friend
That tells everyone she doesn’t know what she did wrong;
You built your confidence by standing on top of me,
Knowing that I wasn’t strong --
Enough or brave enough or big enough to say no
Manipulation fueled our friendship
And my hesitation was your green light “go”
My shaking hands were a sign of your reign
And you made me want to drink
Until alcohol ran through my veins
My blood- served on the rocks
I tried to keep my feelings encrypted- under locks
Crooked tooth smiles and faded eyes
But no one could see I was dying inside
My words shivered like my bones did in the cold
That one night you left me all alone
Through the years I forgot the meaning of friendship
I forgot it’s okay to be selfish
I forgot that it’s okay to need someone
I forgot that somewhere there’s someone that would be there for me
The way that you never were
Of course- you were always there
To watch my every step, every turn
Always telling me “some people just never learn”
But I’m here to tell you that I guess I finally learned
That my voice is free
My voice is unbound by the ropes of your oppression
And now my voice speaks out loud- strong with unapologetic expression
It does not shake, shiver, and is not placed in the corner where you said I belong.
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