I Met the Devil Last Night
i met the devil last night
she wore my face
and had slinked on my body like a coat
she looked like myself,
though a few years younger
perhaps seventeen,
sixteen
one of those ages where you know
the right answers
to just about anything.
the devil lured me to my hometown
she sung sweet songs to me
and left them in my voicemail
a chorus of old friends backed her up
voices compounding into a beautiful chord
she reminded me of the joy,
the full, beating, pumping hearts
carnivals in the street,
and the sun’s warmth.
i arrived but weeks ago
the devil was near, i knew
but where, I was unsure
i roamed the neighborhood
finding that its colors had drained
i went to an old friend’s house
only to discover a graveyard
crammed with grey, speckled stone
the air was cold and quiet.
i drove the streets that i once traveled so much
that they are pressed into my brain
alongside all the other wrinkles
my wheels rolled over and over and over
over that asphalt
wearing the grooves in my mind deeper and deeper
until my brain folded in on itself
and moisture became trapped in the intersections
letting fungi and rot and mold grow there
pink became overrun by green, grey, brown, black
decay, decay, decay.
i sat in my childhood home
in my childhood room
in my childhood bed
for days on end
trying to find the devil again
i could hear her siren song
i pressed my nose, forehead, and lips to the cold glass
of my old room’s window
and watched slush gather on the street below.
last night the devil started to yell out
she cried for help
demanded my presence
told me how good she’d be for me
i followed the sounds outside
and into the garden
her words were muffled by the grass and dirt
i grabbed a shovel
and split the frozen earth open
digging and digging and digging
until i unearthed her.
she stood with a saccharine smile
there was still grave dirt between her teeth
she told me i missed her
she told me about all the good memories
she had, all the birthday parties
and classes with friends
and award-winning essays
what fun she used to have
when i was her
she held her arms out for me
and asked if we could be one
once more
i took a step closer
looking at that unmarred face
i sighed and, arms outstretched
pushed her back in the grave.
i piled the dirt back on
she cussed me out and screamed
but once the hole was filled once more
i heard not a word
it made my heart beat fast
perhaps i had lost her after all
maybe she was dead
i walked back inside
and slept at the kitchen table
tears prickling at the corner of my eyes.
when i woke up,
it was almost time to leave
my mother was at the sink,
plucking a plant from its pot
i asked what she was doing
she showed me the plant’s roots
they had grown in a circle
layering upon themselves again and again
until they could no longer suck up water
she had to repot it, she said
there wasn’t much else to do
it had grown all it could in its old pot
it was time for a new one.
i got in my car and drove
down highways i half-recognize
a new song started playing on the radio
but i didn’t care much for it
so i hit skip
an old favorite began to blare
i smiled, then hit skip again.
i met the devil last night
she wore my face
and had slinked on my body like a coat
she looked like myself,
though a few years younger
perhaps seventeen,
sixteen
one of those ages where you know
the right answers
to just about anything
but what i didn’t know
was that maybe this time
i had to be wrong.