Dear Broken-Hearted Girl,
I remember seeing you, lying there in the darkness of your room
I remember watching the tears fall and listening to your stifled sobs
As you tried your best to keep from waking your family
I remember the struggle to get up the next morning
I remember your puffy eyes and the dark circles that somehow highlighted
The pain that you experienced.
I remember the sinking feeling that you felt
I could see it on your face
As you stood face-to-face with heartbreak
Day after day, smiling and laughing along with him, trying to make him happy
Despite the fact that you were nothing more than crumbling ruin inside
I remember the day you walked away from him
And it hurt for a while
(it more than hurt, it stung to the very roots of your heart, it burned you so badly that you retreated further into yourself than you ever have. But that’s the risk that comes with your first young love).
I remember how you healed
And you healed because you tried to
You made an effort
And the waves that had hit you when the hurt first began
Became fewer and far between.
You smiled every once in awhile, genuinely.
You learned that happiness had never rested in his arms
Safety had never come from his smile.
And even though you still hoped and dreamed that things were different,
You began to stand up and allow yourself to be okay.
I remember the first day of junior year,
You came back better than ever before
You were prepared, you were ready, and you were unafraid
Your smile was absolutely radiant, as if a weight had been lifted off of your shoulders
And you no longer remained a slave to the heartbreak that had tethered you down for so long.
I remember how you blossomed
How you grew into your individuality, how you learned to live with the idea of not needing another
How you became not just the counterpart of another,
But a complete whole version of yourself
I remember how you accepted metamorphosis as a part of human life
The good, and the bad all in one
You embraced what you had once dreaded
And you were now better than you had ever been
The thoughts of him were few, if any
And you do not miss the sweet nothings he whispered into your ear
You do not miss the late night promises and the dreams you had held close to your heart
Because when you let them go,
You created more room
For the love of yourself.
To my past self,
And my ever-growing present self,
I am proud of what you have become
Through what you have overcome.