Freedom

Without us, I lived as though I didnt give 2 fucks.
There was no we, no possibility of an us.
There was silence, no arguing, no bickering, no cussin', no fuss.
No worries of mistakes being made or maintaining loyalty and trust.
Rebuilding seems impossible after doing this or that and such and such.
Forgiveness right now is just asking so much, maybe too for us.

Indecisiveness has me dead in the water.
Stagnant and unable to plan my next steps in order.
The longer I wait my heart grows colder.
I gave up on us, it's hard to believe that it's not over.

I've changed, but Im still here doing the same things that hurts me.
The insanity redesigned the broken pieces of me.
You dont know this new girl, this new, but old me.
One that lived free without care and unapologetically.
No restraints or restrictions placed upon me, I was free.
No insinuations or interrogations for me from thee.
Tasting that freedom, makes me want to explore that part of me.
The part that doesn't consider an us or we, focused on me.

I've come to a decision, I got to prioritize me.
Move on, keep an open mind, but I'm focusing on me.
My heart, my mind, my spirit, my safety.
Got plenty work to do, my foundation is shaky.
Being alone will make me stronger, nothing can break me.
I have to accept that there is only room for 1 on this path with me.

Thanks for the experience, you changed the way I see the world.
I felt special being labelled as your girl.
It was hard, and is hard, to get past all the turmoil.
The seeds of mistrust in each other has been planted in this soil.
The next man will suffer because you were beyond spoiled.
I can only hope that we depart on a good accord.
This love is far too expensive for me to afford.

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

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