Growing Up

Swirling eddies down the riverside tumble and curl while I pick up a rock

I throw it; watch it collide with the simmering surface of the dark world beneath

 

I’m taking a bath; commanding the bubbles and soap

It’s important you get clean, scrub the dirt, wash the sins, rinse away dependence and hope-

You won’t end up like me

 

I’m 16 full of fire, passion and longing, values keep me back, lust moves me forward

I want to rebel and hide and yell and cry and scream

 

I graduated but didn’t go to graduation, too busy working and caring about others

I can fill a lake with my tears, an ocean with my fears, and a universe with futile hopes and dreams

 

The stove is on and the roses are dead; I’m watching my life fall away as I knew it and wondering what all went so wrong. Back then.  When things were simple and responsibilities scarce, I knew my place.  I value now but miss then.  Standing at the precipice of something great, but prepared to fall by the breath of belonging somewhere you aren’t meant to be.  

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