Damaged Goods

You enter a farmer’s market

There is a wide range of fruits

From oranges apples pomegranates and yes

Even the controversial tomato  

 

Some are more bruised than others

Some are bigger,  brighter,  more bitter than others

Some are sweeter, softer, more sour than others

 

You only have around a dollar in your pocket

So you go to the fruits that are on sale

 

All of them in some way are damaged

That is why they are on sale

 

You grab me at first

An orange, hard to peel, but rich in vitamin C

 

However you’re unsure because you see her, an apple

Sweet with no peeling needed

And you didn't have a cold so you didn't really need the vitamin C

 

You could strip her down with one bite

While I took time

So you put me down

 

Or more like

dropped me on the ground

Bruising me even more

 

You Pick her up

 

Pay the woman with the thick accent

Who tells you

“That orange wasn’t ripe anyway”

 

And I watch you walk away with her

Hold her

Delicately

The way you never held me

 

But rather than feel myself  rot

I feel myself beginning  to ripen

Because

If you had only waited just a little while longer

Taken a little more time to peel off my layers

 

You would've seen I was the sweetest thing on the market

Grown without GMOs

While she was manufactured to be identical to the apple right next to her

 

I am ripening

Not rotting

 

As you pick up up someone bigger, brighter, but never as sweet as me

 

And I wish it ended there

With you leaving and me existing

Stronger

Riper

 

But of course it’s never that easy

And I wish I could say that I didn’t stay there

Hoping but at the same time not hoping  

One day

You would realize your mistake and come back to me

 

And one day you did

And while I was stronger than before

Ripe as ever before

You still didn’t want all of me

 

You negotiated with the lady with the thick accent once again

And

It was agreed

 

That you would peel me

But you’d only take my skin

 

Only willing to eat the outside

Not bothering with the inside

Because that apple you took

Her

 

You still had her

And you only wanted what was inside her

 

Everyone else

you said

“Was just skin”

I never thought it was possible for an orange to bitter
Only Sour

But I get this taste in my mouth when I  see you with her

It’s tangy and envious

 

And so here I lie naked bruised battered exposed to the  world

With tears of citrus running down my cheeks

Making those cuts on my heart sting

 

I wish I could say you didn't leave me weak

That the birds didn't come attack me while I was weak

 

Or that whenever I see you walk by biting that apple

I don’t rot just a little

 

that

I don't want to unravel myself into ten parts and fling each peeling at you

The first one love

I still love you damn it  

Because you were the first person I let under my skin

The second one lust

If this is what you wanted I would have given it

The third one hate

I hate you

I Hate you

I Hate you so much

I hate you more than Donald Trump

The fourth one tears

I’m done crying

The fifth one Disney movies

I am Belle goddamn it and you are just Gaston

Gluttonous Greedy and  Guilty

I am a princess and you were just a frog not yet, not ever,  a man

Go ahead. Try to be snow white. Eat that apple that poisoned you once before

And expect it not to do it again

The sixth one late  breakfasts after morning runs

I still run faster than you

I’m just no longer waiting for you to catch up

The seventh one: pool in your garage

I guess I struck the eight ball in because our game ended early

The eighth one goodmorning messages

I’m now messaging you goodbye

The ninth one arguments on your front porch

I don't even remember what they were about

And the tenth one:  peace

The one that I do not yet hold

 

It's been five months since you left

I used to think it was my fault

 

Maybe I just wasn't in season

Maybe I was between fall and winter

That that’s why you got with her the same day you left me

Maybe I was just a passing of seasons

And she was winter

And I was just the last leaf that fell of the trees

 

But

It's been five months since you left me

And it's been five days since you left her

 

And now I see you passing by with someone new

a peach

 

And I realize now

It wasn't me

It wasn't her

 

It was you

 

And your constant changing taste

And in the end

You'll only end up bitter

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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