Balance
Butterscotch colored bubbles clink in crystal glasses as ten seconds mark a genesis
Laughter, too loud, bounces like a ping pong ball between empty resolutions also too loud
Outside it is cold and the fast breathing of young dreamers leaves clouds of warm vapor
Then it is half past midnight and the magic has disappeared like the drinks in now empty glasses
I fly back home over mountains of white and arrive in a town not my own
The drive back to my cozy, suburban life instills forgetfulness of the New Year in my head
I want to go back to that life of meaningless conversation and staying up into the wee hours of the morning
But school starts again, and finals are fast apporoaching and the memories fade as the snow does
It is February and everybody is in love, but I am writing a paper about a book I did not like
I reject plans with friends made ages ago, all of my dates are with text books
Then it is March and as my brother gets older, I become a machine made of papers and research
The desk in my room has become an extension of my body and I seldom leave the house
April is rainy and the patter of soft drops against my window coaxes me outside for a time
The rain kisses my skin with watery affection and my upturned palms host tiny puddles of warmth
But May pulls me back inside the house and I ignore life outside of my school building
My grades are better than ever but I am depressed. I cannot seem to find time for myself
There is a soup stain on the two hundredth page of my math book because I cannot find time for family dinners at the table anymore
Finals are coming again, I get no sleep, I have not spoken to my friends in weeks
They have stopped asking me over because they know I will decline their offers
It is June and the school year is over. I throw my summer homework in a trunk to be opened in August and then, I travel
I see my bubbly, baby niece who likes to be tickled and hates carrots, I see a smile on my own face
June is fast and hot,July is slow and relaxed,August is too fast and panicky
September rings in another school year and I pledge to work just as hard as before summer
October is cold but even the rain cannot coax me outside.
My tears often smudge the ink of my essays so I begin typing them to avoid this
November comes and I am drowning in my own responsibilities, I neglect my friends again
I realize I have not visited my grandparents in months and my sister's haircut went unnoticed for months
In December I remember I love to cook and do so often, and I only study as much as I need to.
January comes again. My friends go out for ice cream. I go too.