I Stopped so I Could Start Again
I stopped smiling because I didn’t want my face to look anything but thin.
I stopped laughing because he told me all I was, was annoying while he was in a place where he should never have been.
I stopped looking in the mirror because all I saw was everything I hated.
I stopped sharing my work because I was ashamed of what I had created.
I stopped advocating because the last thing I wanted was to take up space.
I stopped saving money because all I cared about was that gram of cocaine.
I stopped brushing my hair because all it would do is fall out.
I stopped going to school because I was labeled the girl who cried rape.
I stopped reaching out because I needed to appear mentally stable.
I stopped listening to the voices inside my head.
I stopped only being trapped in the confinement of my bed.
I stopped surrendering to the eating disorder that only wanted me dead.
I stopped hiding so I could finally start trying.
I started accepting that I couldn’t do this shit on my own.
I started getting the help that I should have gotten a long time ago.
I started glowing while I let myself finally start glowing.
I started talking instead of trying to forget.
I started to see that I’m not alone, and I’m not the only one who has regrets.
I started to see my body as my own.
I started to gain insight into my values
I stopped so I could start again.