Deepthought
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I pushed you away thinking you would fade away
but you didn’t…
I thought I didn’t want to remain with you, almost avoided you
but nothing was true…
I wanted to explore dating guys to find out all the lies
XX Chromosomes cried in excitement from the minute the ball dropped. 2016. My best friend and I cheered surrounded with friends, “This was our year.”
What a nut
What a crazy girl
She’s lost her mind
She is lost
She has no guide
Her pain suffers
How can you miss someone who was never physically there
Never felt their touched or the texture of their hair
Never held their hand or kissed their lips
Yet they seem to be the only person you miss
What I see is different how can this be
The light in my eyes are a bit brighter than yours
My heart beats and thinks lesser than yours
I feel like a wildflower in a pool of roses
Hello, Do you here me calling!
Every time I say your name, it never gets through
It's like I'm a ghost, living alone
Have no way to turn, nowhere to go
Just like in a maze, no rhythmic flow
Time
Tic, toc, tic...
The infinite sounds of time
The infinite turning of the hands
The withered leaves
The abandoned buildings that used to be
" i just don't have the proper training to deal with your...condition...i hope you understand."
i nod, because yes, i do understand.
i understand that when you look at the scars on my thigh and ankle, you get chills
I woke up on a dirty mattress on the floor of a friends house. It's my 16th birthday. A huge milestone in a young persons life.
I silently walk these streets alone
Once filled with the kids I had known
They weren't perfect, but neither was I
Now they're gone and I never said goodbye.
It's from them I learned never to judge,
You see that person sitting alone?
That person hiding pain behind a smile?
Had you even looked into their file
Would you not have seen the suffering?
Would you not understand?
You see that person?
Why do i feel like this is my fault when im the only one that trying?
Each one of my relaships slowly dying.
I just want to feel loved but maybe thats asking for too much.
Just once i would like to know a loving touch.
I sit quietly ignoring the pain, but she whispers to me. I try to eat, but she whispers to me. I try to laugh and almost succeed, but she whispers to me.
What is she whispering?
Hate. Slander. Lies.
Sitting here, thinking of you, I can't help but look in the mirror of my eyes and think about all the shit I've been through hoping to find a glimpse of happiness and solitude.
I have been gone too long,
living in the past.
Trapped by all the mistakes,
I have ever made.
Remembering everytime,
I let someone down.
But it is time to move on,
Look at the world with hopeful eyes,
Never let them see you down,
put that razor away, put that lighter away
Don't hurt yourself anymore, please, don't frown.
I wish your depression would you see yourself
I relive the days
Of getting into your car
Riding to the place you call home
But it wasn't your home
I remember everything we did
Especially watching the "Goofy" vid
We all have wishes and dreams and goals
But are any of them about trying to feel whole
I am adopted by a single mother
And I feel like there’s an empty space from a father
A person, full of pain and sorrow, a heart that is parted in the middle, held together with one thread of hope and faith…
Why does my shadow mock me?
Everything I do, it does the same,
Very ghostly and crafty,
I have to do something to throw it off aim.
im falling in this hole. a place of no return.
where no emotion shows, we are forced to burn.
incinerate ourselves so that the pain subside.
Where does my happiness come from? I often like to ponder this particular question whenever I’m feeling particularly partial to my emotions. I mean it, not like I have a reason to, so why do it? But then I look back and it all makes sense
Sometimes life's a bitch. You practice for something over and over. It's Practice, Practice, PRACTICE! But even then it's not enough. I didn't make it. People always say there's next year. What do you know?!
I want to go home
So from my heart I write this poem
My feelings are becoming stronger
But my heart is growing weaker
As the days grow longer
And my head comes down with fever
There's a crime that's stuck inside my mind
A life built on this crooked line
I'm lost in these innocent times
My cries are unheard
My destination is absurd
So many crowding around my room
Pounding heart, beads of sweat. Obscene memories one can't forget. Uncontrollable fears, a constructed dam to hold back tears.
Eternally silent you stare past the clouds,
Eternally questioning I stare past them too,
Only difference is,
You can see me,
But I can’t see you.
Rain drops on the pond,
Their tiny little ripples that stir the water in curious patterns.
Oh, how I love to watch the rain.
Maybe our lives are like those itty bitty rain drops,
When life throws shit at you
You can’t stop and feel blue
Keep your head up and just push through
The colours of a mirror are foggy, but lucidI don’t see my reflection,But colours of a girl I remember beingDark purples and greys, she’s bruised and scarredShards of glass line her hollowed out, bloodshot eyes
The sun shines down on the beauty that surrounds you
as the currents lose your thoughts
and the winds lift your soul..
Some need to change how they fulfill their life. Live life. Love it. Do not waste it. I wish they would understand life is a river that will meet waterfalls sometimes.
Don't leave "I love you"
She repeated
Look at how bright the stars shine for you
Its beautiful isn't it
It must be nice to be the new girl kissing you
Im forced to say the truth im not over you
With love, all you ever want to do is win, but all I ever do is lose. I give everything I have but when it all goes down and things get tough what happenes? It's thrown away like yesterday's garbage.
Scars do not mean that the pain is over
Healing deprives me of strength
Ubiquitous flashbacks of the good times
Mingling with frustration, despair and longing
I’ve been trying to retaliate
The Language of God
By: Carrie Olsen
I am in a land that is not my own.
No one knows what I am saying.
Unrestricted, uncensored, I am free.
I have a power over them, they do not understand me.
Sometimes I feel loneliness in my soul, loneliness that even with people around me it can’t be removed
A loneliness that I have since December
Not even with the funniest joke will this great solitude purge.
I can't see you, but I hear you. I don't know who you are. I can't determine if you are one or many, but I know you're here. Are you an angel? Are you a demon? I'll never be sure. It's too dark to see my tears.
She came early today
She said she took the long way
And had something to say
She told me some lies
She told me some truth
She told me she tries
Sometimes what’s the use
Although it seems to be in the trees,
or maybe that sun, or birds, or bees,
that make us all feel a bit more alive,
I think this solution resides inside.
Happiness can't be contracted like the flu,
They say that over thinking kills the mind.
Too young to stress but yet stress about grown folks "problems "
I can't write anything on paper without two little people. On my shoulder debating about who's right. I am afraid.
to live or not to live
you say that there is a purpose
a purpose to live...
but i say why choose to struggle when death is eternal
you say to hold on
hold on to life...
I'd change the construction business.
They stop traffic
Take up time
And NEVER seem to finish the job.
Late to work,
The only thing the tires
get is dirt.
The way it is built
What sustains life on earth
What began life on earth
What we rely on day by day for the relief in our bodies
It’s chopping the thread that holds his life
The thread is cut deep
My depression feels like so many things all rolled up into one.
At it's worst, it is overwhelming sadness and a certainty
that I am not good enough and that no one could
ever really love me.
I have noticed that life IS fragile.
Therefore you never know what might happen.
I try to live my life to the fullest and be happy
But it is so damn hard to.
I dream of world, our world
A world where kindess is a first instinct
where we stand together in all times
we work together to better the world
my world, our world
Time, unsure of where to go
The past frail, the fire gone
Life, a long time ago
The world cold, death aune
I was just floating
Day by day, through the stages
Never here, but never there
Just existing
What has this world come to?Where we have to hold a slam to say what needs to be changed.
ahe looked at her scars, her bracelets and then
she told herself "ill never need them again"
she picked up the razor and aimed at her wrist
but something peculiar haooened; she missed.
Passion from heart to heart
Feel hopeful
An open mind
When lights fade
See what I made
My dream job is managing a restaurant
I love all the different types of smells that come out of a kitchen
Is the value of simple paper more than what we make it?
Does it matter if we break a twenty or we save it?
Think About it, Why do we care so much about money,
When there’s people surviving only off milk and honey?
What if I could change one thing about my life
I would take away all the pain and the srtife
All the talk about my size and height
I would want to start life over and do things right
There are many things
That I would change.
Some things revolving around
Physical appearance.
Some being people's personalities.
The thing I would want to change most
Is the way the society works
sliced wrists
gashed thighs
voices screaming in my head.
am i better off this way?
a runaway
a thief
been arrested.
maybe i should of gone to jail.
am i better of this way?
why is goodbye
so hard to say
why do we always
have a tight grip on yesterday
why do we have to lie
to fit in
and to love
why cant we be sure
who set it up this way
Life isn't as easy as people make it look, next time your in class, think, you see that kid acting goofy? The one who sits there and does nothing all class, sits there on his ass and makes comments trying to get you to laugh?
Why must we try,
on something that'll never work?
If just looking at me is painful,
Why even try?
If there is no rhym
nor reason,
then what's the point?
what's there to say?
she lived through pitch blackness
she held siccors to her stomach for hours on end
she held bottles of bleach in her hands
her tears silently falling as she tried bringing it up to her lips
didn't make the teamlast one to be pickedkicked to the curbbefore the chance was givento be all you could bewith the support of a familynow your homeless
The depth of it all, the rise and the fall. Room 116A, just making sure I'm okay. Tomorrow isn't promised, yesterday wasn't either. Blood steaming like fire, it's like my heart has a fever. Yes, I'm a non believer but I did believe him.
Sunshine, moonlight, divine just a couple words describing who you are,
And I've been reaching for this goal that was set too far,
Just to hold you in my arm, use all of my charm,
Hoping you would let me inside.
I try but when I know I wasn't trying hard enough, I fell short of making it.I try but when I know I had more on my train of thoughts, I fell short of succeeding it.
Here I amHere I standAwaiting for some form of affectionHere I amHere I standWanting "a life where everything is good"Here I wasHere I stoodLooking at people of past
My body is covered with a never ending darkness that surrounds me.
Taking me over, it's gotten inside me.
Eating me alive and slowly killing me.
I want it gone.
I want my body to finally feel free
You only need to ask.
I would answer if I could.
You rush towards me,
Placing a hand against me.
Your face twists.
O, Jesus, not in vein but with respect
Wine appearing out of such basics
What a miracle they must have witnessed
Did it come with a side of swine
'What is it? What is it that you see?'
He asked
I choked on silence
Beneath my ribcage was a hollow tree
Why did the apple fall off of the tree?
Who made it come to be?
Was it the politicians in D.C.?
Or the goddess Aphrodite?
Maybe it was Shel Silverstein,
or the rapper Jay-Z.
Don't quit,
When the roads are hard,
And darkness is around you,
Don't ever quit.
You're worth it,
More than the pain,
More than anything,
You are worth more than giving in.
***This Poem was written to help others who have difficulty coping with depression and bullying who need help**
I'm constantly moving forward, but it's tearing me apart,
as if I'm stationary, waiting at a bus station in the dark,
This person has been around from the time I was born
And if I lose this person I wouldn't have the heart to mourn
and my heart is so torn
because I didn't always like 'em, Matter of fact I used to hate 'em
I blink.
I watch my breath escape my mouth
as steam,
a ghost leaving the caverns of my soul.
I watch by breath again.
It appears,
disappears,
one moment of distinction before it blends
The tiniest speckle, dominated by the biggest star.
Overlooked in its eyes, deep down hiding under its body scars.
Nights full of weeping but how to know wha't's wrong?
Home
Love, Hate;
A cry of joy, a tear of pain;
Overwhelming happiness, suicidal sadness.
A house, a home;
A daddy leaves, a mother mourns;
children comfused but accepting.
It's amazing how you can fall for someone, who see's you as invisible, doesn't care is they break
you
They ponder at you wondering who you are I wish they would know me just like I did for him.
Now he's dead
No one knows why
He committed suicide
On his first try
No one knows the thoughts
that went through his mind
They're afraid to delve deeper
For fear of what they might find
The sun rises and sets on another day of disgrace,
For a world filled with
Drug dealers, crack heads, hookers, and children
Without a place to call home.
But they warned us
About the world.
If words could be tasted
Would idiot be sour?
Would oppress be foul?
Would morbid be bitter?
Would smack be acidic?
Or would finesse be like honey?
At first glance you may not see
All the hurt and sorrow that’s me.
I live in a word that resembles this
I grow old, I grow old
Growing, it’s something that we do without knowing,
Time goes fast, we blow past, it shows no sign of slowing.
Trees grow leaves, it’s snowing. Though I don’t see it going
I grow old, I grow old
Growing, it’s something that we do without knowing,
Time goes fast, we blow past, it shows no sign of slowing.
Trees grow leaves, it’s snowing. Though I don’t see it going
Everyone's going to have a bad.
Some people take it a little more seriously.
There are people who need someone.
They sit in their rooms and blame themselves
For EVERYTHING.
Yeah You’re right.
I so stupidly,
But truly
Schizophrenically,
Allowed the man
Drunk beyond words
To shove his,
His 12-inch, well endowed,
Schlong in my anus
And no matter what your scars represent.
They aren't your entire story.
Just an ugly chapter.
But your story goes on.
And it may have several ugly chapters.
I hear this talk
causing this idea to stalk
trying to figure out a way
i can better someone's day
i began to ponder long and hard
but everything sounds like a hallmark card
snap a glimmer of light
I wonder does it help
do the scars make me braver
does the pain makes me stronger
my emotions make me better
when I take it out on my skin,
is it going to make me prettier
scissors, knife, or a blade
I embody the life of a young teen that’s struggling.
Going through high school not knowing what’s coming in.
I wonder where my life will be
Ten years down the road, will I still be me?
Will I have reached all my goals?
If I do, I'll certainly feel whole
In life we cannot predict what will happen
In and out the pain is unbearable.
In and out the cracks grow bigger and bigger.
In and out.
Deeper and deeper it goes reaching no where.
Pain is restricting.
Black holes come from broken hearts... so much disparity in the world over loves now lost
I once met this girl,
She was always boucing along happily,
Playing without a care in the world,
She had friends and extremely great family,
My life,
its not as bright as the sun
nor the light,
but it stands out at night,
my arms,
they arent what they used to be,
pull up my sleeves and
you will see what I mean,
There once was a girl who had a hard life.
One day she stood, holding a knife.
There once was a girl who had a hard life.
One day she stood, holding a knife.
They always say what you cant
not what you can
please dont tell me what i cant see
because the vision is clear
clear as stars billion of miles away
i think i'll visit them today
People say life is short,And that "You Only Live Once"But life is the longest thing you'll ever do.Why should I keep going?Why should I keep breathing?I can't find the meaning.
They tell you, you won't make it
Unless you fake it
Your dreams stay dreams
And the reality never changes
The barriers have been created
And the time has been dated
Only for those who are gated
A single tear
Falling from a face
All that is seen is the fear
That no one can embrace
Many ask why
Why so upset
Why cry
Behind the tear is all regret
Trapped in his own thoughts
He’s all alone with nothing but a lone heart
Trying to spark a flame so dark
It can light up a room with demonic distraught demonstrating
It rises
and falls
only to rise again.
A circadian pattern,
until one day it falls too hard.
Shattered and torn,
It attempts to rise.
My Bird flew away, it will continue on.
A journey is more than cage and feathers.
The tune it sang, is a chapter unfinished.
It was young and ready, now alone, I must fight the rainy weather.
Sedated hearts and medicated minds move in monotony like the spin cycles on washing machines.
I look deep into these walls as I cry myself to sleep. Then I think of all the children with not enought food to eat. Death and Poverty, what a world we live in today. Romney's cheap and selfish, so lets just smoke a J.
A tsunami sent by one line of text
Adrenaline floods my veins-
emotions are drowning, tumbling
just trying to catch up with my brain
My heart jumps, flips, flies out of my chest-
They say time moves fast
im looking out this blury window,
so I guess this is my time moving.
Time losing with each blink or wink just think.
The biggest test is life
ups and downs, fun and strife.
Stop
you already made a mistake
a thing so small you dont look twice
because its not something to entice.
Did you spot it yet? or not.
Blessed are the forgetful
Or so Nietzsche tells me
But when have transitory monsters lost a childhood
Or a father who stayed only in their mind’s eye
Now faded away like the shore ravenously
You may have had a rough life, present & future – but who are you to judge the future?
We look up into the sKy
Entwined in it's view for it looks divine
In the day that we may die
We fly through our past
Pray for the day that we lay
Who am I? It is the question of the ages.
Am I who I was Yesterday and all the days before that?
Am I who I happen to be Today?
Is the sum of all of my Todays equal to my Tomorrow?
He knew me before I was born
He chose the color of my eyes
He gave me my family and friends
“Not in Vain”
Another mistake, love gone casted to flames
The good went wrong, am I the one to blame?
This train keeps moving along, wait stop this is wilderness
My Father is the greatest
My Father is the greatest because of him I have been created
I’ve been given a gift, rather a blessing that takes you for who you are in all
You came, you brought me joy,
you brought me laughter,
but most of all, you brought me love.
And when you left, you took them all away.
I was a fool.
My soul is like an empty sock
Cold and pleading for a foot.
But my soul is allergic to feet
So it weeps at night for the homeless grass.
I also like to watch the moon smile at the stars.
As I was passing by
I saw a girl with tears in her eyes
And I couldn’t bear it
I asked her why she wanted to cry
She said I have no more fight
And many things aren’t going right
Hands in the sky
On my knees
Nobody heard
My piercing scream
The broken remains
Of the world around
Shattered and fell
With a deafening sound
Honorio Freeland
Lost in the World
Who am I?
What makes me, me?
Eighteen years young,
With not plenty to show for it.
The one who chooses to do something
it is up to them to live with the
consequeces
A person who chooses to do a bad thing
it is their repsonsibility to know what
they did bad
I am the girl you laugh at every day
I am the boy with scars on my arms
I am the geek who hides behind books
I am the jock who's scared of sexuality
I am the cheerleader with the imperfect body
She let him walk away from his only escape
She gave him an F because he wouldn't follow her directions
I can't cry,
Because that is admitting defeat,
I can't cry,
Because if I did you'd tear me down more.
I can't smile,
Because you know if I do it'll crack into a thousand pieces,
I can't smile,
Life
You started the minute when I was conceived
You capture and treasurer the good memories as well as the bad
You can never start back over but only move forward
You carry on even when I give up
Life
You started the minute when I was conceived
You capture and treasurer the good memories as well as the bad
You can never start back over but only move forward
You carry on even when I give up
Hand in hand
our gazes met.
One quick smile,
one skipped breath.
Is this love?
Do I have faith?
To lunge head first
or am I too afraid.
Life works in many ways
Some are positive some are negative
People chose how these affect their lives
Some don't do well with how their lives are affected by the choices
I wasn’t happy with me,
So I tried being a different me.
I tried to be the me everyone else wanted to see
i know im not right for you but i wish i was. i try not to fall for you but i just cant. i keep holding these feelings in because its too soon. but if you give me a chace ill prove it to you. if i get hurt i can only blame me.
I read the posters
I look at my shoes
I look at the clock
I doodle on my paper
never once do I look at you
Teacher...
There is an empty place in my chest, an empty spot where my thoughts use to flow and my memories use to play. The familiar rhythm that's kept me alive for so long is slowly coming to a halt.
Life: the inevitable,
it can throw you to the ground,
or it can bring you up,
either way it treats you a certain way.
I've always been the one to experience this,
Its coarse taut roots embedded themselves within my chest,
making it harder to finish my quest.
Its icy cold petals blossomed within,
Heavy hangs the albatross
Around my neck like pearls.
Passed from an elder,
To a little girl.
Knowledge may be a gift,
My heart sings the words
Of my soul
It feels all my weeknesses
It hears all my screams
It tastes the chalking of my blood
It smells the fear of my aching beat
It sees the nightmares that I
I am from hearing babies cry changing numerous diapers a day, from an innocent kid and team work.
Once a growing man, who didn't know what to want
Freshman, Sophmore, Junior year never did alot.
Three years thrown away and not a single thought of what might be in future days,
Unknown boy
Unknown life
By me atleast.
I didn't know of your existance
And I'm sure you don't know of mine
But maybe you do
Atleast now.
I've been thinking about you a lot
What is the opposite of living?
It's hating others and not forgiving.
Our eyes were placed in front for a reason.
Look back should be called treason.
It's staying alone.
No memories to be made.
Above me I see an open sky,
Blue as can be.
No restrictions, unlimited beauty.
Nothing can compare.
To my left I see black.
I see fear, I see death.
I see the darkness,
What is something you can't say to your teacher?
Is it a thing or an action?
A place or person?
A problem or an obstacle?
A struggle or problem?
To tell you the truth we can tell all of this
Paddling so hard
from the water wall behind.
Too slow and i fall.
Then I tumble and I roll
to submerge to the unknown.
Shards of the Future
we start life with our parents
planning our futures
for us.
we grow
up
learning to stand
and speak
You see the smile plastered on her lips, dripping a story with a twist. Lies escape with every phrase, across your ears. You believe it's the truth she's laid. She seems like the perfect student, perfect girl; every strand without a curl.
I’m walking a thin line,
I’m running out of my lifeline.
They’re letting go, they’re moving on
How come I’m so far gone?
Why am I so worthless?
My life so pointless?
I thought about it once or twice,
maybe three or four.
About suicide, and what it would be like,
if I didn’t live anymore.
My world is dark and gray,
filled with sorrow and lots of pain.
Society has spoken,
nobody cares.
He cries all alone,
for the truth he cannot bear.
He bleeds all night
yet no one is there,
not one single person
nice enough to care.
Often we hear the word LIFE thrown around so swiftly
But in all reality what is LIFE
I’ve often heard just because you live doesn’t mean you’re live
There she was alone again
she made her choice
so we'd hear her silent voice
maybe I was so stupid,
for not seeing this before
This is why,
she cried to sleep at night
To whom it may concern,
It is healthy food for which i yearn.
For it's called chicken but looks like a log.
Then after we eat, we continue to learn in fog.
Again it comes to me
From it, I am unable to flee
First, it slithers into my heart
Beginning its quest to tear me apart
Next, the monster slips into my mind
I am living
Yet not really living
I am laughing
But not really laughing
I am seeing
But not truly seeing
Life is fickle
Just like one's mind.
Just a tiny trickle
Can upset time.
So live your life
To its fullest extent.
To save from strife
And remain content.
Broken pieces shattered on the ground
They continue to tip toe around
Afraid to clean a mess that wasnt theirs
Scared that I will only break theirs
Taped together many times for moments
Fret.
Regret.
Anxiety.
Worry.
These are the things that held me down.
These were the things that haunted me
One big confusion. one big disaster, spinning out of control,
Tick tock the clock keeps going
The sand in the hourglass keeps flowing
No matter how much sand there is
One day it will run out
Then what
Will reminisce
On what we miss
I remember when it used to be just us and the music.
We blocked the whole world out to hip hop,
and every now and again, I could convinvce you to try something else.
Like Carolina Liar, or Of Monsters and Men,
For what it's worth?
This is my new start, new heart, shining at the end of this semester's tunnel
To love, to live,To hug and forgive.With out love of others, we live without hope,From sisters and brothers,to bacon and the Pope.Learn to loveto come above.Find the one without shun.
To love a man, to love a girl...
What difference is there really?
Love, to me, is the same
In any language, in any shape
For any age,
For any person.
Love could maybe just be
a simple word
There she lay,
On her bathroom floor thinking only about death,
She stared at the pills scattered on the floor,
As she took her last breathe,
Only being able to see gray,
She was happy she finally escaped,
I miss your smile,
i miss your face,
i miss your strongly supporting embrace.
I miss your voice,
i miss your words,
that made me feel like, the only girl in the world.
I miss your laugh,
They tell me I'm not quite right,
that I don't meet their standards
Reminding me of my imperfections
and screaming at me to be better.
Their words sizzle against my heart;
Singeing the delicate flesh,
Voices, Voices in my head
Voices talking maybe from the dead
Mumbles, Mumbles I hear all around me
Faces, Unfamiliar faces is all I see
What if they won't let me be
What if they follow and never leave
As she closed her eyes she imagined her life before her
Her eyes were bowed down in defeat, in weakness
She reminisced on what she had lost, what she had gained
If you only knew
What we carry on our crooked spines
When we leave your room
The torment
The pressure
The never ending gloom
If you only knew
What our futures hold
You were suppose to be the first man in my life.
You were suppose to tuck me in bed and wipe the tears that I shed.
You were suppose to hold me the day I was born.
Call me your princess your bundle of joy.
Its 2012,
December 31st,
It all started with a Facebook message saying I had a crush,
I made you laugh and I made you blush
You gave me your number we would text and we would flirt,
Your the love of my life, The bright star that shine in me, The inspiration that put me to my feet. You mean the world to me. Everyday dreaming about the day we will meet again. Your the sorrow in myy heart, I never knew you and i was like stars.
Today is the last day I'll feel you breathing down my back,
My love for you is gone,
I don't know if I'm sad or relieved,
Because falling in love with you was the best thing that ever happened to me,
A rainy day is like a sad day, Sad day with me fill with tears. I search the days to shine but no sun is found. Everyday i mock a sunny day but really it a rrainy day inside of me.
You say you love me yet I don't see it on your face,
seeing and believing are two very different things,
if you love me I promise it will not be a mistake,
through snowy winters and summer rains,
My mommy doesnt know all that I do.
She doesnt know about everything I've gone through
I smile when I'm around her, so that she doesnt know
All the trouble I got into and where my mind likes to go
Joy and laughter,
You became my best friend,
Together from the begining,
We would stick to the end.
To not cherish your infinite kindness,
That was mistake one,
You gave and you gave,
I was alive when i met you.
Alive but cautious because I always feared death...
feared what it would be like if you left....
You made me live reckless on the edge..
and the times i spent with you....
Yes, that is I
Wave to say hi
My hair a white essence surrounding my face
My eyes, blue, starring into space
My arms dotted with freckles
My heart, pounding
I feel a constant sense of drowning
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You yell at me and I stare, I don't know what to do.
I know what I want to say, but the message won't go through.
The words are stuck in my throat, I can't speak cause of the looks you show.
In the past, i never talked about my needs. I never wanted to tell my needs.
I was alone because i had no one. I had family, but i never saw it. I had friends, but i never saw it.
I was getting help, but i never saw it.
Why walk on the pavement of conformity
When I can enjoy the plush Earth's dewy grass?
Ascending to uncharted skies,
Where the thrill of discovery
Is more than a balloon ride.
She strokes my hair gently
Kisses me passionatlely
Hugs me tightly
Always loves me
Wants to be with me forever
Cares about me more than anything
Spends every second of every day by my side
Her body was a temple,
handcrafted, with exeptional curves
heavenly, lightly fragranced with cocoa butter and almond oil
She invited men inside,
and the temple began to cave in.
You can be a real pain at times
coming whenever you feel like it and make me feel
small, worthless, tired,
I have enough problems already
why do you have to make more for me?
Vibrations in my head’s empty space; unoccupied.
Relative measurements of relative ideas.
And drops of controversy fall from the unmarked sky.
Ebony sky; full of fire’s red embers.
Dear Teacher,
I need to tell you something, but I don’t know how to.
Dear Teacher,
Where do I begin?
Dear Teacher,
Two lovers intertwined in a complicated web.
One compromised by word.
The other compromised by heart.
One chained.
One free.
The Night arrived room,
The flame lit up the glistening blade.
Her towel fell from her body,
on the ground it laid.
A drop of moisture from her hair,
curved her upwards chest.
Cold. Sharp. Inviting.
I don’t want anyone to pull me back into this world.
There is a reason I want to leave, and pulling me back
won’t make that reason go away.
Just one person
Hardly lacking in passion
But couldn’t possibly take the action
Stuck in a box
With nothing but your thoughts
Trying to make a move
But you haven’t got a clue
Upon the polished pearl slate
Lingers the past within:
Blood-stained hair and eyes.
Remember the queries and suggestions:
Stay the original course,
No altering just for appeasement.
As the sun rises andAnother day takes flight;The blessing is fulfilled again.As the dew begins to lite;My heart flutters,For my love is forever in sight.
Why must we fight
Instead of being friends
Why must we fight
For what reason should it be
Why must we fight
When we're all the same
Why must we fight
Just because someone is different
I know she is tired,she hates feeling this way,She weeps and she cries,tears of pain day to day.She deals with much hurt,and is put through much strife,her skin sticks to her shirt,
Back aches in the morningHeavy eyelids and sore feet that drag across the ground.Another day to waste awayWishing I'd just die alreadyMostly so late assignments become the past
I remember day I captured a perfect picture.
The long humid summer, with skies a bold blue;
the year of many sorrowful goodbyes.
Life and its meaning,
surely its a clue.
It's a question about believing,
if a real purpose is true.
We may be lost and afraid,
but one day it will show
the answer of this charade
I am wispy mist that is quickly blown away by strong wind.
I am the dust bunnies under the couch-- hiding so I’m not swiftly swept away.
I am a blanket of snow that melts away when the scorching sun arrives.
Its always a secret
We cant go here, we cant go there
So and so comin, so we cant go
I cant follow you on social media, cause people might know
You put me in a little pocket and take me out when you want
They think she's happysee her smile and just assumebut what they don't know might kill herit might lead her to her doom Little do they knowher mind has the controlshe is slowly dyingsoon she may very well go In her eyes is the painon her arms ar
Don’t try to speak to me
I have nothing to say
Despite forcasted developmental trends
My etymological roots have decayed
Only half-formed ideas stumble lazy from these lips
Misguided thoughts
The pain I feel is from within,
The smile is all a show,
The dreams I had
Once big and bold
Suddenly crushed and hopeless.
Who needs me
I am no-body
Unwanted, alone, trapped..
Have you ever wanted to die
Have you ever wondered whats on the other side
Have you ever looked yourself in the face and thought why
WHY… HY… HY… am I alive
What is the meaning of life
The battle of being , of what is suspected in life. We make a massacre with our hardly existence of humanity. The brawl of the complex obstacles and barriers you must over come. The warfare of being positive and obedient to everything and all.
I ask for your forgiveness in writing this to you, and I can assure it will be my final interference in this delicate matter.
Our love is what he devoured,
and soon I became overpowered.
This is what happened so,
this is all i began to know.
He treated me like his queen,
but the truth was unseen.
I was his highest expense,
I know the voices in your headThey've reached down into your coreI know the lies that they have said because I've heard them all before
This school is a bane
Society, if fills with pain
Classes, riddled with sighing
Intellegence, it is dying
We try to live for the moment
It disappears so fast
You try to be smarter
YOLO
The words of the naive
The words of the reprieve
YOLO
The words of the hurt, the sick, the blind, the dead.
What we want to say, before there are no words left to speak.
YOLO
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me
We've heard it, said it, learned it.
But tell me do people choose to take their life because this rhyme is right?
As that horrible that gets closer day by day the more I fight back the tears :( nothing makes letting you go easier and knowing my memories are all I have left kills me, litterly hurts my heart so bad I'd rip it out if I could.
The perfect girl,
That's what everyone saw.
The one that everyone knew.
The girl without a flaw.
But when she looked in the mirror,
She hid behind a facade.
All the scars on her wrists,
She’s far from an innocent
For deep in her past
Lie memories in waiting,
Coming on fast.
The shame and the guilt
Are too much to take,
So she closes her eyes
And accepts her fate…
Fireflies
In a wide black sky
You hold my heart
I hold you tight
Kiss my cheek
Please don’t leave
Baby, I’m here
You belong with me.
Summer breeze
Crashing waves
You are the shackles to my oppression, more similar to my depression
You say I can't succeed just as it says I can't be free
I am oppressed and depressed.
As a little girl I played with dolls behind your back,
Until that one time you caught me and I got smacked.
You wanted me in school and make friends,
But when I did the new friendship would eventually have to end.
He was my summer love the year of twenty twelve
He was my everything for him I'd do anything
he was what I needed and maybe if I pleeded,
I'd get another chance or at least a last dance.
I've been knocked down before someone knocked down my door. They been down a street where you didn't want to meet, as well as me.
I don’t know if any of you have noticed
But there are different levels of crazy
Personality wise, there are a couple different steps.
Whenever I meet someone new for the first time
I’m still on level one.
Fake smiles and deceving faces. Love consumes the minds of the fragile Money and Lust overtake the hearts of young adults Does the world have hope in any way . Words hurt the strong and turn them weak . can life improve if noone seeks such a
You must live life like a bird.
Fly free, high, above everyone
You must treat life like a fragile crystal.
Worship it, be kind to it, admire it
You must not fear death.
If you walk into the lighttowards the end of the tunneland you don't come backhad its beauty ensnared youor had it simply scarred you?
The man in black crawls towards the dusty wind,
His thoughts and words swim backwards to the past.
Minutes and hours creep shyly to his mind,
Ticks and tocks fly, this one slow, this one fast.
We hide in the darkness.
We never come into the light.
We hide behind a fake smile
that nobody cares to look behind.
We hide behind a mask
we built to hide our true selves.
We only show to those who
Am I stupid?
Am I crazy?
A maniac, perhaps?
How can I still love you?
How can you still love me?
I look at you and I still see utter perfection.
The way you walk, talk, laugh, and smile.
I keep thinking about you. But I'm not sure what to do. Maybe If i stop dreaming of what could be.Maybe If i stop thinking of it as you and me.Maybe letting you go is the key.
I loved you
I loved you without a second thought or a backward glance
I loved you with the innocence of a child and left you with more hate than a soul should bear
I came to you all trusting
Thinking of the days that we could be sure that light
Would always travel faster than monsters trying to catch us at night
But you drink under daylight now too
Thinking of a mother who never hugged you
In this world we live in, we face many stages of adversity.
Some go through grief, others suffer from poverty;
But within our lifetime, we all fall under the trial of addiction...
At least only once, if not more than that.
the thing that creates the mind,body,soul
the thing that can break, make, and take you to places you never dream of
the thing that you teaches you love and hate and things you should appreciate
I miss that feelingWhen I felt the surgeThe boost of spiritsThe sound of birdsThe world was laughterThe peace, like rainBut since it happenedIt won’t come again
42 days.
One Month and eleven days.
My scars have begun to fade
and my smile has retraced itself
again.
42 days.
Of hard nights
where his words echoed
and I wanted to bleed
i want to read the lines of your hands as if they where peices of paper with a story to tell. I want to kiss your hands so that my lips could tell the verystory of which your hands plead to speak. I want to swim in the river of your emotion
According to Webster’s Dictionary, the term soldier refers to “one engaged in military service and especially in the army” (Soldier).
We all cry for help don't we? We are in need of help for every little trouble or bump along the way in our path. But there are others in the world and in our communites that are in BIGGER trouble and they need OUR help.
Freedom comes at a price
the ticket is your own demise
in order to truly be free
you must give up your most important thing
you treasure it most, but leave it unguarded
I was always a shy girl in the past,
Always finding love that would never last.
And recently my heart was broken,
By a lying, cheating man who used it for poking.
My wrists... like paper.
The knife... a pen.
The blood it savors.
The ink, it sends.
My skin is torn.
The paper is ripped.
Blade like a thorn.
The pen, it shifts.
Every scar has a story.
tell us that we're wrong
as we sing and preach the right song.
tell us that we're right
and then you keep us in your sight.
tell us that you care
Your brown eyes made me shake,
as I approached.
Your laugh touched my heart,
as we connected.
Your smile shook my soul,
as we danced together.
When we connect again,
smiles creep up.
Come with me to the room of doors for some funTake a deep breath and open door number oneIn this room livesA teenage girlHiding awayFrom the cruel cruel world.Her eyes are hollowHer soul a shell
What do you actually see when you look into these dark brown eyes?
Do you see a girl with happiness all around her or a girl galloping through a meadow filled with dasies.That's what you think you see but you dont really see the
I'm always dreaming,
Even when I'm awake.
In my dreams, I have control
Usually...
Until one day,
There was a razor in my hands
And I awake to lots of blood
Everywhere...
Society is so screwd.
Be yourself! But make sure "yourself" fits in.
Its cool to sleep around but if you get pregnant then you are just a slut.
Makeup makes you prettier but you are seen as fake if you wear it.
She glances at the clock,
As it flashes eleven twelve.
She sighs once again,
As she places another notebook on the shelf.
Through another clover patch,
She searches for a wish.
Her efforts to no avail,
Why would someone do such a thing?
Someone please tell me why.
He gave him so much of his effort.
So much of his money and time.
Between the two was everything.
He'd helped him stand back up.
When you wake up in the morning and everything is silent, stop and pray. For a chace to earn a great day, love without being told, and leave all your worries on the tray.
` Sh adow. Follow me every step of the way,
from young to old, night and day.
Watch me make mistakes and over come struggle,
knowing there are so many things that I must juggle.
Leave me at the end of the day,
Your just good as this Vodka and hurting my system . The word i love you I have discover but you don't know the meaning . thousand year can go by and it feels like your still here. There's not a day where I go without thinking about you !
His Holding Into My Emptiness of my universe , while my mind is out of earth ! A start wont probably reach to my hopes ! While im here left in the back with a bag tht was left ! It was left to the wrong person
Never write a songAbout a stupid boy you fell in love with,Because you’ll rememberThat the air exists to fill his lungsAnd that his lips serve a purposeMore significant than your kiss.
So many lovers have loved and lost,
they never tried to fight the cost.
Love doesn't conquer if you don't help it win,
for love is a feeling that can't help but to give in.
The sun
Never looked bright
Anymore
When you arrived
Our souls
Taken
Right before our eyes
The night sky
Is Darker
Than ever before
When you arrived
They say blood is thicker than water,though, truly,what is blood but water colored and clouded by sentiment?
he
As he spoke his words were like ice going down my wind pipe corrupting me from the inside out
His words were like a wrecking ball
Love, love comes and goes without a trace
It holds you, and leaves you when you need it the most
It's everywhere and nowhere !!!
It's magic, tragic, and fantastic
Just another dayMy arm is still scarredNo words left to sayNo words could even explainThe depth in this feelingThis craving deep inside Normally I can hold it backBut it's getting even harder to hide.
I am a butterfly that drifts though the air
I am an abandoned dog searching for the right and wrong
I am the heat to your heart
I am the small grain of sand you step over
Walking aimless in eternal mysery
I came upon a great mystery-
A hidden pathway in a hill
Gave my senses a big thrill.
And so I followed the path 'till the top
And found a graveyard in the stop.
Your Love is like the
sun shining down on my face
my heart, like water to a flower
i could not not survive without it.
Your Love is like a wonderful dream,
that i dare not wake from. i am scared that
Your love is like the sun
shining down on my face
warming my heart.
Like water to a plant
i could not survive without it.
Your love is like a wonderful dream,
that i dare not wake from.
Tainted, tainted is the light,
No more is it pure and bright,
Tainted, tainted as the night,
No one can see for it is dark with fright,
Scarred am I from battles and wars,
Recovery is not an option,
Something so unreal, it can't even truly be described. It has so many conditions that this world could never fulfill. This world is too imperfect to keep with the what ifs and alsos and sometimes and shoulds.
She sits alone with a pistol to her head
Its the last time to breathe before she's dead
She pulls the trigger and the gun goes
Her body falls, her eyes close
She lies in a pool of crimsom red
I am the guy that never showed sufferings.
I am the guy who cried, the guy who hide of himself in the shadows of lust.
Crying, crying still no one knows what i am capable of. Will I survive?, will I survive ?
Would this lesson add food to the table when money is low ?
Would this lesson show me a route to my future, and the right way to go ?
Do you even care about what the hell we have going on ?
Is it the colour or the texture of ma skin?
Is it the length or texture of ma hair?
Is it the size or firmeness of ma breast, hips and butt?
Or the structure of ma face and the alignment of its features????
I love you but i'm not loving you freely.
I'm loving you tensely and timidly because I'm afraid to love you boldly
I've paid the price of losing someone
I lived my life without a rule book
I'd always imagined he'd be the one
I came untied and fell to ashes
I loved him, he made me cry
A horizontal line,
A bluish-purple vein,
how much would it take
to drive me insane?
A few more hospital visits,
A few more prescription pills
they say recovery is possible
I'm drowning. I can't keep my feet on the ground. I say "save me from this pain." But things just remain the same. There's no one else to blame for the scars on my skin. I don't think I can win. I can't hold on any longer.
I look down seeing the crimson stained papertowl,
Admiring the slashes across my wrist.
So beautiful.. My own personal art work,
As i pump my fist there's a knock.
A night so empty.
Thoughts stop racing .
So dull so lifeless,
some would call a "natural high"
Thinking of what could have been
or what could be awaiting.
A fear of the unknown.
I stand here touching the breeze in my hair,
feeling unconscious full of despair,
I feel the touch of freedom.
You told me i have legs, so I walk.
I stand here with the darkness in my eyes,
I sit in a world
all alone
lost and confused
with nothing to call my own.
Sweating my past
as memories flood my head
i want to leave
because i have nothing to dread.
I think to myself
Day 1: My feet hit the cold tile and my eyes strain at the board.
I hear your monotonous bore,
I think, I think, no more.
I am just another one of the horde.
Day 2: The straps pull at my back
You saw the ache under her artifical simper yet you sat and said nothing as her eyes plead for a cure to relive this agony form her casket everyday you watched her tear bare her skin in hopes of becoming free of her hollow soul and
Not a sight nor
Neither here or there
A covering vail
Would you care?
Here today but not in the morrow
In view but far away
Yet there is
Nothing to say
In this vast ocean of despair, sadness shall prevail.
Sinking and sinking deeply in this endless pool of rotten loneliness.
But let it be known: he drowned, yet he fought.
He struggle with idle arms and sluggish feet.
I get to school take my seatYou take roll while we all eat Our breakfast and listen to your dumb rulesWhich have all of us acting a foolYou slowly go down the roster You peer through your ugly bifocals that make you look like a monster You start t
Sometimes, I feel like stained glass portrait,
Changing colors and shades with my surroundings.
Sometimes, I feel like a funhouse mirror,
Only showing people warped views of themselves.
Tonight I can't stop the tearsI feel the soul of another rising up Someone stronger is being urged to take overI want to run far awayKnowing I'm not alone in thisI want to run far away
I feel a monster rising up inside. It creeps and crawls inching to the surface. No true sense of decency does it possess. It's soft and silky upon my tongue and it blends easily upon my face.
My frustration is I feel out of place! I had everything I truly wanted and felt whole with what I had. Now I just feel like I have what I want and don't at the same time. I mean fame is becoming more and more of a turn down.
Your eyes through me cut like a rusted knife,Your voice, it salts my newly bleeding wound,Do I belong inside your lonely life?Though you hoped I never willingly swooned,
I want to wrap youInside myBroken dreamsAnd remember whatIt felt like toSleep alongsideSweet lullabies.I want to tell youWhat’s inside mySweet lullabiesAnd remember what
I am in love with your nature.
I am in love with your words,How, like dew, they riddleThe meadows of my mind,How, like rain, they tickleThe branches of my lungs.
What a landmark;Your curly lockedWhite willow head,Your rhododendronLashes, a canopyOver poolsThat frozeOn my lined face.Your oak branchesThat brushedMy lined shoulders,
Life sometimes can play tricks on the distracted eye. Sometimes you see the horizon but not the road ahead of you. And sometimes there is no road and you have to find your own trail.
I'm choking on the taste of rejectionAnd, oh, how I savor the sweetnessEnough to make a grown woman break into tearsBut not meI stand firm... untouched... unfeeling...Do I love thisUltimate loneliness
imagine the surprise on my face
as my therapist looked me in the eyes
and told me that i do indeed
have a mental disorder.
"no i don't you must be
wrong
please check that test again because
Another 24 hours poured into the cementLiving through another's persons regrets..Just one piece of a puzzle, too big to comprehendCant see the end, left the lights on again
Frustration coursing through my soul
Pain and guilt out of control
Nowhere to turn
Nowhere to go
No lesson learned, but scars to show.
No hugs, no love, no friends to show
No ‘I love you’s'
I am..
Small fragment of ease
Moment of Clarity
A grain of hope
I am..
Morning walk
Afternoon with loved ones
A evening of freedom
I am..
Young and Old
Lost and Found
"You will never be anything".
"Anything you achieve, it is because of me".
No, b**tch. That is where you are wrong.
My father, never there, but my mother taught me to be strong.
For love I'd give my last words, but never speak them with a lie,I'd fight for your trust, but never force it from your side.For love I'd climb the highest peak, but only if it ended with you as my view,
Im tired. My body is sore. I lay in bed and feel like I cant take it anymore. I feel weak. Hopeless. Like no one cares. I tap my fingers on my phone, waiting for a sign. Some kind of hope. I shut my eyes and feel the dull buzz in my hand.
Walking to a court room at the age of 7 was very frightening. I knew I did not do anything wrong. I was getting adopted, but I did not have a say in anything.
There is something across the sea,
Something foul that beckons to me.
Will I leave?
I shall indeed.
To my Muse that beckons to me.
There is something on yonder shore,
We sat on the steps of my eroded muck stained porch.
We contemplated our lives and our identities while sipping on unclean glasses.
We laughed at my awful past of abuse,
neglect,
and
insanity
Night and Day your at my side,
my friend my heart my peace.
Lighten my mornings,
watching you run and play and chase.
Brighten my nights,
next to me close warming my dreams.
I cannot understand my current emotions on the relationship I am in, I don’t understand how I feel anymore. My emotions don’t talk I have to but if I can’t understand them how I can explain them.
Everything is normal,
the people are in a hurry, the animals running around,
my heart is beating.
Then just like that
something sets me off.
Hispanics are considered a minority because most of them are not educated
and barely make enough to reach the minimum wage.
Living in a world where that’s expected from you can be tough
One heart two different worldsOne body two opposite girlsOne chose love the other hateOne chose corruption the other faithOne always tries to devise a planThe other simply follows the great I am
If her body temp's over one hundred degrees,
she can stay home from class, get out of jail free.
Got her wisdom teeth out? She'll pop some pills,
she has an excuse, and no one doubts she's ill
Tears trace my face as I stand over this sink
I am crying again
Every lecture I get, all the expectations I don't make
Love is like a wild stormWith a shower of broken hearted rainIt will swing you like a tornadoFlood your heart like a hurricaneIts hard to love someoneThat doesn’t love you
You don't know that your fist feels like butterfly kisses,
And your words, as sickly sweet as gas station seafood dishes
Don't faze me.
My face, has been through more abuse than big city sidewalks
I don't understand why you hurt me or make me have these scars
you always say no one cares of course i'm going to take that to heart.
your suppose to love me and take care of me but you havent been doing that lately
Knowing that I have an attraction for you makes me so upset with myself. How could I let this happen to me?
Darkened corners, shadow games,shaking, rocking, trembling, shivering,curled into the corner, broken, desolate,claw marks up and down its arm, deep rivers of blood, nails caked in dried black-red blood, rocking, rocking, creature of tangled smokey
you've been here with methrough thick and thinyou knew i was hurtbefore i told you you fought my wallsgot yourself ini cant get you out nowno matter how hard i trydid not want to trust you
What's deep but very shallow?
What's thin but very thick?
What's white that could turn to black very fast?
What could cause joy but then fear?
Boom Boom, Swish Swish
You are dangerous
A bomb
You are an animal that could pounce at any moment
You are only a window to sneak out of
Or another used condomn
Or another empty beer bottle
it's possible to have a house-
but no home.
it's possible to be surrounded-
and completely alone.
i'm trying to concentrate-
without staring at my phone.
the scars on my outside layers
You see it all the time
the loss of energy
Sitting in a lit room and then
a light flickers off, suddenly
everything becomes more dim
Except it's not as easy as
changing a light bulb, or
Maybe it fits to be the person you are,
one without care, without concern.
maybe it fits because you cant seem to understand
What kind of actions are taken to raise a good woman or man.
I want to be perfect, I don't want the pain. I want her to be happy. I want everything to gain. I want people to disappear, her attention I crave. She makes me strong, she makes me brave. I don't ever want to argue, I don't want her to hate me.
As the years escape my eyes. You try to say your final goodbye. But your hand won't leave mine. Thoughts of you fill my mind. Life without you is full of pain, no laughter, no smile just gray painful rain.
A steady rhythm,
A speedy pace,
My heart now seems to race.
A race,
A fight,
What we do in the night.
Loving, leaving,
I begin to start bleeding.
Remorce and grieving
You sent me three text messages last night:
"I’m drunk as fuck over the toilet man"The nightmares beneath my skinthreaten to possess the shell ofmy body.I am nothing buta diseased corpse.
I think a lot but I don’tspeak very often.
Sometimes I feel more connected tosplattering rainfallthan actual people.
And its midnight now
And my heart sinks into the night
With bittersweet memories flowing,
Timeless memories
And endless heartbreaks.
I was so young
But not one second have I forgotten
He's a failure
In my class he won't survive
17 and black?
I'm surprised he's alive
He's just a stupid football player
Is that all you think I am?
Just another statistic?
Disgracing Uncle Sam?
The use of integrity is nonexisting
Constant insanity is approaching
Harder and harder with the same outcome
Darkness is blanketing the mind
Evil is among us all around
Litter and bodies lay on the ground
On the outside she looks happy,
But in all reality, is she?
Most of the time it's not what you see,
But what you believe.
Read the signs,
You'll be surprised,
At what you may find,
I miss how you looked in my eyes that first night
I could not recal anything else
the way your soft skin felt on my cold hands
The blurred memory gave me a rush
I miss when we layed recalling the past
I dont understand why this can be, almost all alone in this journey.
No one seems to see anything from my point of view.
Only a few see my perspective, it is even harder when your
Can't believe this is my final yearI'm going to get home sick so where's the cureI'm at a stop like lights with a deerI'm on a long road and it's only just begun
Sometimes you just want to get away.
Get away from the world.
Get away from everything.
Get away from people; get away from the words they say
Get away from every sound, every noise, and every vowel holding you back
Love can be a poison
Like a snake wrapped around you,
Suffocating you,
Injecting the poisonous venom
Those tears that hit your face,
They burn like acid
Why must this happen to you
Patiently watching continuously observing
This unfair treatment & your reckless discernment
Your bad judgment has me on the sideline
When I should be in the game because taking a hit feels the same
I want to disappear I wanted to fade into the background......
I thought that losing the weight would make them like me...... They don't...
I started to get more involved in school no one seemed to notice either.....
My mind is going insane; I can barely even think. I'm letting myself go, faster than a blink. Friends and family form a line that is longer than a mile; but even with them here, my life still feels like it's not worth while.
Look at my face, you'll see a beautiful girl. Look into my eyes, you'll see something hidden. Look at my smile, you'll see it isn't real. Look at my soul, it's the biggest pain you could ever feel...
No one knows that she still hurts-
But she keeps herself composed
hoping no one notices her flaws.
I'm couning heartbeats in the back seat of my filth
Reminiscing about the days of mindless joy
I never realized how naïve kids could be
Sincerity has drained from my composure
When I was born , I could have sworn, I saw a mother and father. But when I grew, I just knew, I was a fatherless daughter.
Take time to cherish the little things
The sweet sound of birds in the crisp morning air
The surrounding warmth a blanket can provide
I try to run away
But your gravity pulls me to stay
No matter how far I run
Your gravitational pull has won
I find so many reasons to leave you
But for gravity tells me
That I'm not going anywhere
You love me with all your heart
You cared about me from the start
But I won't let myself love you
You never let me forget that I'm beautiful
Even when I look ugly to you I'm beautiful
The middle
This is where we are
We shifted to neutral in the car
Things are getting confusing
And I feel like I'm losing
We're both in the same section
We're scared of rejection
You continuously
Throw in my face my age
But no one is begging
You to stay
You can leave and turn the page
We fight all the time
You alwas make me feel like slime
Star-kissed
I open my eyes
And see
A million beautiful lights.
Little cosmic seeds,
Planted in the universe.
Some die
In spectacular bursts.
Some with but a whisper.
Walking in nature makes me think of thee.
I'm reminded of you in all that I hear and see.
As I walk, I see the trees rustling with the light wind,
Just as your long hair sways when you walk 'round the bend.
One love doesn't last longbut here is one thing it is going to be alright once a pon agogo out and find another one when you are lonely everytime you like of him or her
Floating
Leaping
Screeching
Clawing your eyes out just to
Spite you
Spite me instead
I can't live the way you want
Me to. The way you look at me
Tells me that you want me to respond.
Im making my mind up to express.
Living this way is just a mess.
Laughing at nothing
Is funny when its serious.
Im Living life to the fullest
So im a gangster.
Living is dying.
I turned to see,
This mirror image of me,
In her heart theres pain,
As she stares at the rain,
They keep lying,
And she keeps crying,
But no one can see,
This mirror image of me,
and there’s a whole in my chest and it aches for you
and I’m going crazy in my head, I don’t know what to do
and I’m sad because you’ll probably never feel the same
and because I’ll never see you again
If today I were the first to die,
Would you send me away with wilted roses?
Be the first and last to say goodbye,
And send me down without a kiss?
I can't sleep; the memories keep me up at night,
All of the things I should have said,
Should have done,
To make you mine.
The thoughts of you won't ever transcend,
The time you were almost mine,
You are my South Wind,
There to uplift me
There to surround me
But never to falter.
You are my Sun,
There to light my way
There to give me hope
But never to dim.
I push so hard everyday
I know it angers you so much to wake up knowing Im not with you no more to drive you crazy
I wake up too but here or not you still drive me crazy
I want to dieI want to turn away away and say goodbye There is just to much painI can barely stay in my own laneI'm falling apartI hurt in my whole body, especially in my heartI'm going to end it allI may step a little far over the edge and just f
I miss you so much I miss your voice and soft touchThe way you comforted me Always offering me a cup of teaI lie to myself everyday I tell myself you'll come back by the end of MayEven though I know deep downYou're never coming back to this townYo
I have left the world of Darkness,
Having stepped into the Light,
A new sensation of bliss has emerged,
A sensation having not witnessed in a thousand years,
Maybe She Would Be Alive Today. If I Spoke Up And Said What I Needed To Say. If I Thought Differently and Choose A Different Path. Crazy Thing Is I Didn’t Think She Would Last.
Darkness turns into dim light <br> This is the beginning of a new life <br> A boy on the 18th of September <br> This is surely a day to remember <br> but then comes another surprise <br> a twin sister with light bro
The things i go through cause me too, remeber why I, need to be sharper than knives. Brighter than crayola, addicting like Coke, Addicting like coke, A, Cold adolescent addressing, the things in my thoughts.
What you don't know
My learning is outside the classroom
My learning is what not to say
How not to act
What not to do
She screams as the light beams pushing and pushing the wall of despair.
Times of love from above is just like a dove resting on my shoulder.
Times of love, Times of love, Times of love.
You ask why, but I cant give the real answer
The story cant be heard
No its not correct to say the things that happened
Get personal,
NEVER! Its inappropriate..
But what if my story defines me
Trails of gray blazing the untrailed canvas
It's curves at it's masters every whim
Success! The man says, as he puts it aside
and reprints with the black.
It's work shaded by the of ink
Condolences
By: Renisha Williams
Sitting outside of this funeral home
I’m cold and nervous.
I wipe the sweat from the palm of my hand and compose my thoughts.
For Everyone who is in school.
For Everyone who has been bullied.
For Everyone who has been in a sport.
For Everyone who is battling addiction.
For Everyone who is working.
For Everyone who is a parent.
I avert my gaze
contemplative and serene
we think the same thoughts
memories come crashing back
fake civility in hand.
Things falling apart
All around me
The world
Breaking at the seams
A rush of emotions
Like an avalanche
But yet
I feel nothing
You’re lying beside me
Smiling
Reassuring
Because all the things you've done im like this today. Hurt, numb, empty; whats lost is gone forever. Forever feeling a unsacred empty space. You took the only part of me that wasnt yours, the part of me that you havent already distroyed.
Let me tell you that nothing is wrong with me,I have all four limbs and no deadly disease.No blindness or deafness and nothing that oozes,no broken bones or scrapes or bruises.
The time passes by,
So fast.
The light seems to,
Fade away.
I sit here,
Watching,
The sun rise,
The moon shine.
Thump Thump even steps on the floor
A rhythmic monotone inciting horror
Who is it that makes such a beaten path
Is it death or man with a thought to pass
Everyday, it is all the same,
The places I go and the things I do.
Everyday, it is all a game,
To see if I can feel a deeper shade of blue
There is a rut before me,
And there is a rut behind,
The hate pours from me like I'm made of water,
only ment to quench my own thirst,
I hat myself,
No matter what I say,
No matter what I do,
I can't ever seem to be enough for you,
You meaning me,
Do you think this is the end or just the beginning
For life itself, to the very end
Shadows creep up behind you
And say this is the end
If this is the end then what's the beginning
She walks in with a sparkle in her eyes
Even if she doesnt smile you can see it
That sparkle hides how she really feels
She herself sparkles
Except no one see's her sparkle
No one see's her
Watch.
Wait.
Run.
I Watch him walk and wait for his return. Watch him run and wait to feel something. Anger?
Lots of it.
Sadness?
Not enough.
Resentment?
It boils in my blood.
Burny Burny Cut Cut.
Can’t you see that it’s enough,
to make it all go away
and let me live another day?
Slice Slice Bleed Bleed.
They watch me as I do my deed.
Close my eyes and loose myself.
Lost in the world around her
The kids in school call her names,
Mock her ripped clothing
No one knows the truth.
She goes home to a drunken father,
A broken mother and a missing brother,
Loneliness is not a state of mind.
It is a choice.
A way of life,
A feeling.
A feeling that possesses,
A feeling that deceives,
clouds are thick, the ground grabs
It weighs you down, It tugs at you
slowly pulling slowly drawing
walking against the wind
heavy feet heavy head
forced back held back
no movement, no progress
We sit, we stand,we dream
to have an openness to what things could be
living in the abstraction of which we seek
It fools the inexperienced
and breaks the ones who aren't careful.
It's the thing we always look back to
and always look forward to.
It's strong and brutal;
Happy
yet sad.
I can't move. I can't see. I can't breathe. Nobody cares. Nobody listens. I'm not me. I'm not you. Who am I? I haven't got a clue. Someone please help me. I still can't move. What's wrong with me? I have got a clue. Depression.
Bullying. A subject that when comes to mind, makes me want to cry. I have been bullied. Not physically, but mentally. People telling me "shutup" or "you're stupid". I take everything to heart all of a sudden. I feel so insecure. I feel suicidal.
Wanting to shut everything out.Wanting to drown in nothing.Wanting to catch up to the present,While battling with the past. Holding back tears that burn.Holding back feelings aching inside.Holding back memories and thoughts. Having mixed emotions.
Treatment
Bleed it out
Like a snake bite,
The venom that roils and riles
In my blood
That rages and boils
Bleed it out,
Run 'till my feet
Tickle with flames.
Search for strength,
I came here alone, others are apparitions.
Strangers to mother's.
Opponents to father's.
Siblings are apparitions.
Friends are apparitions.
Lovers are apparitions.
The hole in my heart is deeper than the sea,
The hole in my heart is blacker than the new moon sky.
I still wish you were with me, your touch still lingers with me.
As I’m asleep I dream of me back in your arms,
I am a silver moon. You are my world. If you do not desire this gravitational pull any longer, then I shall take myself elsewhere. I can find another planet to orbit my heart around. Someone who does not consider me to be a meteor.
I am so done with the outside,
done with the sress and the tears,
done with the lies and hurt,
but not done with life
I am so tired of letting
every single little think get to me.
I want to leave.I want to escape.This life I got,How did I deserve this? Blade in hand.Tears running down my face.Should I?I don't know. I have a big enough closet,Rope is in the garage.Pills are in the medicine cabinet.My bedroom window could be
Cold ice stretching over a fortress of falling beams. Rolling from blue eys come the diamonds of a sad day. Once strong the brick buildings fall in a crumbling rubble of distress. In a silent room a fire is ignited.
twelve months ago
I happy
school no worries
much to go
eleven months ago
my happiness
was tested
which it passed
ten months ago
joy wasn't a want
but necessity
my feelings are
unclear
for this i am
sure
i know this
something
is a thing
so certain
i can't express
this emotion
for you
i reassure
this is okay
what seems so easy
isn't to some
makes them feel queazy
terrified of whats to come
speaking in front of a variety
for a simple presentation
those who suffer social anxiety
Lost
My necessities are unseen through hazy eyes.
My dreams are degraded by little whispers in my head.
My bearings are lost, scattered among a thousand others,
drifting through my mind.
Press Play
Anticipation blooms
The track begins
The sound waves land on virgin ears
One beat, two beats, three
I am like a ceramic bowl, and this bowl has many assets.Beautiful from a far, but up close you see my cuts, scars and bruises put there by all the hate and doubt of the world.
The Inner Me.
It's the soul you cannot see.
The pain, the struggles, the beating, and troubles.
I cry out for help.
Suicide thoughts.
No one there to tell me, stop.
I'm am confused at the mind.
Sitting, staring at the wallsWhy am I the one who always falls?In the mirror across the room I seeMy bloodshot eyes staring back at meMy eyes skim over my too pale cheeksAnd see the tears plus all their streaks
theres many ways to show love
actions speak louder than words
many people may recall the scene of pain
to overcome pain forgiveness is the key.
Holding on to that one last kiss.
Remembering what it was like to hold you like this.
My heart is slowly burning to the ground.
With the passion in the love I had found.
Your words still linger in this place.
Any teacher can follow a lesson plan
but one teacher can teach whatever they can.
Why dont we figure out how modern life really works
instead as a student we learn the basic boring subjects first.
Welcome to my world
Of lies,loniliness,hate, and depression
My world of tears and loneliness
Of fear and scars and rust-tinged razors
That smell like fresh sea water
somehow don’t satisfy me anymore.
A pit of despair embarks upon me.
Dragging me deeper, catching my breath.
Gasping for air, I grieve.
Clawing for space, I breathe.
It is only then that I notice my need,
That I find what I grieve,
Everything in life is temporary,
the people you love, the people you hate.
Life, Love, Happiness, Smiles, Tears, Pains, Sadness, Doubt, Anger, Fear, Everything.
Every emotion you have right now is temporary.
There oncewas a boy who rode my bus,
with wide green eyes,
who sat alone...
and didn't seem to care.
There once was a boy at my school,
who was quiet
but had the most beautiful smile,
You think school is all sweet and all.
And you think teenagers like me are the generation to fall.
But you don't understand that outside those silver gates.
Life soon becomes a brawl.
Why are you so depressed?Your sadness only seems to festerI want to make your heavy load have less But first you need to clean up your mess
Broken Rear View
Many times we alloy our curiosity to spoil of future,
More often than not,
We obsess over our rear view.
Have you ever taken the time to think,
What if your rear view-
The Hill That Never Sleeps
Have you heard of the hill,
That never sleeps?
We’ve been properly acquainted,
In my virtuous sheets.
Watching-your every move,
In search of flaws.
Baggage Claim
To those who view their past,
As a lesson.
Simply sit back and do yourself a favor-
Commit to confession.
Sift through the bags which look-
Oh so similar on the outside.
Words hardly describe The world he sees.Hand motions do notGive him the peace he needs.
He draws then,A mermaid in the seaAnd an enormous ship.
She is sitting by the mirrorBrushing her hair,As tears fall downHer hands tremble When she thinks about last night.
This day was coming
We saw it from the horizon
And how akward it is
Now that we can hold it in our hands
But It'll pass us by
This is just a new beginning
Because we know somewhere deep down
My family, will you love me the same knowing that I am different?
Mom, will you still smile at me knowing that I am not that perfect daughter you wanted?
Looking around, there are smiles everywhere
The more I'm surrounded by people, the more anguish feeling of lonliness I feel
and then you realize, nobody cares and you feel as if you will never heal
How do I keep moving forward?
Do I strum the guitar, and keep hitting the wrong chord?
Do I let everyone push me into praying to their "Dear Lord"?
Do I use my words and make them hurt as much as a sword?
Hollow is the heart inside my chest,so still- it beats.It aches,with unquenchable desire,pounding slowly, slowly, slowly.
her scars itch as if they feel her pain
they want friends
more of themselves to add to her collection
it's like they can feel her bring the blade to kiss her use-to-be-smooth skin
As my heart beats to the rhythm of love and happiness;
It slips into a coma of depression,
Hidden from my laughter and smiles,
Teasing everyone who passes by.
Days pass of nothing but a drop of excitement,
I wish my life was over,
My world made of broken clovers,
Falling out of place,
going into a dark space,
filled with blood,
nothing to love...
No one can see through my facade,
Can a heart still break once it's stop beating can you believe me even though you know I am lying will you be there when I need you even though when your in need I'm never anywhere to be found when your in need will you catch me when I am
Your eyes are so stunning,
that they could cover the night sky,
and outshine the moon, and stars,
and even all the galaxys combined.
Your smile is so strong,
it rocks me to my core,
Nothingless
i don't know youbut where you layin black and whitea paragraph of your sixteen years
All my loving,
It’s easy to obtain.
Refrain,
Everyday is the same.
What do I have to offer when you’re gone?
I tried to tell you that I loved you all along,
I'm not bleeding it out.
There are no razors to touch my skin,
none to cut it.
Bleeding does not help.
Not like others said.
Physical pain is not a cure,
for this kind of agony.
3AM
(One Cut)
Don’t ever wake up at 3am
It’s scary enough falling asleep
Waking up out of a state of rest
Takes a lot of energy mentally
Like your mind gets tired, fatigued
Overthinking starts.
I want a ......Guy who notices my sensitivityGuy who notices my heartGuy who understands my confusion and pain and where it comes fromI want a ........guy who confident. In saying i love you day one.
Sand is sifting,
The grains of time, tumbling
Through, down to the dune of
The underworld of times past.
Moments descending upon us,
We take no notice.
Moments falling, behind and below existence,
First Period:
Wake up, shower, dress
Motivate, sigh, late
Again
Second Period:
English, essay, notes
Homework, due date, yawn
Tired
I remember the way you told me
You loved me
That it would never be you and I
It would be we
I remember your beautiful
Smile
I remember holding hands on the beach
Walking for miles
The thinkers:
those who won't say
what they mean,
but strive to write
something others can relate to.
The thinkers:
those who sit-
staring into space,
but still hear words
It is five in the morning as twilight sheds tears down my face,
The dancing horizon teases my mourning
eyes yearning for sorrow
But bleeding condescending sympathy
The sun rays invade,
We are all victims, persons targeted to feel pain and misery
and all that are out to slam a foot on our brakes, while driving they have stopped us
on the train tracks leaving us with what you think are only two options;
I love the way you look at me,
Your eyes so bright and blue.
I love the way you kiss me,
Your lips so soft and smooth.
I love the way you make me happy,
And the way you show you care.
Do you see the pain?The pain in my eyes.Do you see the hurt?Hurt buried deep in my heart.Did you search to knowKnow what I have been throughOr did you just wishI let go and never looked back?
This ol' heart of mine will never be the same
I guess I'm really the one to kind of blame
I might as well move on and let it go
Well since you're here I should probably let you know
I said a word
I made a friend
I am yellow
I said a word
I am in a relationship
I am pink
I said a word
I got into a fight
I am blue
I said a word
It has been an undertaking since civilization began,
Striving to decipher the sensation of touching your lover’s hand.
Attempting to make sense of the powerful chaos and confusion,
Caused by love’s entire disillusion.
I breathe.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Two easy movements.
Involuntary.
Necessary.
The difference between two ends,
Life,
Death.
Breath changes everything…
I breathe.
I like you a lot but don't know how to tell you...why can't we see eye to eye?
Set standards for each other? Everything is just so paper thin. With not enough time,
You see smiles they glisten,
There's nothing else but listen
Dark shadows, cold walls
You hide and try to ignore the calls.
You ask yourself is it worth it?
Not one bit.
People will treat you maliciously and wonder why you hate them. They will drag you down and wonder why you won't face them. When it comes to your dreams they try to stop them. But when it comes to your failures.........
Your Kiss infects me
like the flu infecting young children
it finds me
and absorbs through out my body
taking a few days to leave my system
forever i remember the 1st time
the feeling so new
I knocked on the door just to listen and see if she was home
For some time I waited, cold winds flowing past me and down my back my mind started to rome
Alone is what I began to feel but then she came to the door
A minimum amount of words were said, and time was spent together. Before we knew it. Time was over.
i bury myself in facts organization to a faultto hide from the world,from people and fearspeople think I'm shyI'm hiding.i hide in plane site, yetnobody sees me i cry for someone to see me
Betrayal, Bruised, Left alone, No one to hold, No one to love, Blessed I’m sure, How can you be blessed? When no one loves you When someone toke your love. Forever alone. Forever apart.
A man who's life was strife by death left mights in his regrets.
Life can be a pain and with punishment they may blame,
but one thing that it gives,
its forgivness for you'r sins.
As the man shouts to death
how dare you put me in a box
labeling me because i dont fit in with the hollywood image
how dare you belittle me because im different
i rather be happy being me then being sad trying to fit in with this asshole society
I used to write poems
about the colors of your eyes
with a stomach full of butterflies.
But now I write words
about the voices in my head
and how I wish I were dead.
You used to promise
Is it my time? Is it my time to shine?Is it my time to die? On the outside I look like I’m doing just fine. On the inside, I’m trapped inside these happy lies. Is it my time? Is it my time to be free?
This disease, I wont let it get the best of me.
I'm depressed though, it's got me by the throat, how can I get free?
How can I be all I can be, if I'm missing a part of me.
On the oust side, I seem as happy as can be.
Tearful eyes. / Burning throat. / Stiffled cries, / So they don't know, / I scream inside. / I miss my home. / On my outside, / You'd never know. / I'm tired of sadness. / I'm tired of lies. / I'm tired of secrets, / That everyone hides.
Life turns to death, as the present fades to the past
Its the bleeding of pure silence...
The slow thumping of a partially broken heart..
The twinkle of a knife
Hidden by the night
Have you ever seen someone going through a anxiety attack?It's not an east to thing to witness.
Their body tenses against their willThey shake and cry with no cause or relief
Her mind flooded by judgment and oppression
Her body aching from hate
Her soul yearning to escape the cage it was forced into
She is only accelerating her fate
She is only accelerating what is intended
Beauty is the eyes of the beholder
That's why he always found beauty in my body
And you always saw it in my eyes
He was only looking for one thing; and liked what he saw
It’s funny how someone who was supposed to love me, never did.
It’s ironic how that a person that I never knew hurt me.
But it’s even worst that I hurt myself.
To Open Her Eyes
When I look in the mirror I see a face
The girl looking back at me is so lost
She feels lonely in a crowded room
But is suffocating in her mind
What do I do to make her smile
Silent, empty, lonely, hated
(Sitting in a classroom, smiling vaguely)
Muffled, lost, self-sedated
(Top grade in the class! Congratulations, be proud!)
Can't think, breathe, feel my way
I like how the cereal screams in terror as I put the little guys in my mouth
Mmh how sweet, cereal blood between my teeth
Snap Crackle Pop! goes the bones of the breakfast mom bought
Every day seems somber.
I look away and
as I walk to school
I can feel myself removed.
I watch myself sit there in class
I watch myself write
I watch myself get through it
I didn't know before how to light a candleTo set by the picture of us on the mantleThere was no flame to light the wayThere was no night to darken the dayThe monsters came to devour the heart
Tears roll down her face as she sees her lover with someone else
Disgusted she feels
She wishes she was someone else
The anger inside from the lies he told
Disrespected from his actions
He is so bold
How can you claim to "love" someone when all you do is hurt them ? What is "Love" ? People say its a big word with so much meaning... Everyone who said they "love" me, all ended up hurting me.
To the lost, the forgotten, the outcasts, to all those who feel hopeless and alone. This cruel, sick, and twisted world you live in has made you think the unthinkable and speak the unspeakable.
It all started on the first day of school,
not passing the rule.
No one coming to my aid,
on my shoulders the cruel words laid.
Then came middle school,
people even more cruel.
I was a fool,
To overcome? You have no idea. The dark is suffocating. The pain is allocating. Try to make it stop. It's not enough. It keeps coming, and coming, and coming. Looking up, praying for better. Why me?
She sat on the porch as she wiped her tears.
Put on the same brave face, the same face shes done for years.
Now she never lets her guard down,and make sure shes always in control.
Well I’ve come to tell you a story.
I gotta warn you, it’s probably not a happy story.
I gotta warn you, it’s probably not even a good story.
But I think it’s probably a true story,
and that’s good enough for me;
Why do you pretend you're happy? With that fake smile on your face, pretending everythings perfect. You go home and cry... Because you're living a lie. With tears rolling down your face, you say you're okay.
Tell me you love me because you want me in your lifeTell me you love me because you mean it from your heart
Tell me you love me because it's written all over your face
After the storm comes a rainbow,
I have been threw that storm but don't know where to go,
where is my rainbow.
I need to feel the calm that comes after the storm,
for it's the only way to reassure my self.
It’s strange.
This feeling.
This heart felt feeling…
Sigh… not again.
Could I… could I really?
No, no, no! I’m not!
I’m probably just sick.
Yeah! Just sick…
Damn, who am I kidding?
Another white tee
Tie dyed in four shades of red
Out of the twelve you’ve already encountered
Bleach will do no good this time
Neither will a Band-Aid
You never have to worry about people getting in your way
Cast over me, a sheet of confusion and foolishness, and yet it took more than one rude awakening in my life to help pull this sheet off my head but I still wonder why do so many tragedies had to come for me to finally understand a part of life.
Crying in the snow will do no good
The tears you cry will never come out
As the touch of blood feels like snow
The animal that lived before you must move on
Letting go is sometimes the only choice for us
I remember one time
Someone said to me,
"What? Were you emo or something?"
And they laughed.
And I laughed,
But I didn't say anything.
To me, it's not funny.
That rusty blade
DEPRESSION
Depression is like the color black, and is darker than the dimmest parts of space.
It sounds like thousands of screams echoing in your ear, and bashing at your eardrum.
Mother I forgive you for you know not what you do
Call me a zero in hopes it'll motivate me to avoid the bar stool
Most men live there life defining and executing functions
I have yet to define a single variable
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I can't help but feel like there is a hole in my chest I keep searching for something that cant be found until I hear a voice saying "Turn Around" When I looked I couldn't believe just what I saw
When I looked I couldn't believe just what I saw I saw a man Sitting on his throne With my mind blown I fall to my knees Screaming out "LORD HELP ME PLEASE" He says "Son what you're looking for isn't on this EarthBut if you can trust me you wil
Laughter is healing for my soul,
thats the medicine I have chose.
Needless to say I'm okay,
afterall I did laugh today!
Wondering why I may be depressed?
Half the time I'm super stressed,
We are young.
We are strong.
We are capable of anything.
Sometimes we are wrong.
Colorless and yet so colorful. Madness but mostly wonderful..
Jugular venous pressure is estimated by positioning
A patient’s head at a 45-degree angle.
When the veins in the neck
Are swollen as high as the angle of the jaw,
Blood pressure rises.
Drowning in derision
a self-loathing hate
I pull myself apart
and crucify my heart
Now the story shows
tells the lines never said
the truth behind my lies
things hidden by my eyes
There was a place and timeDon't ever go back to thenIt is just filled of memoriesAnd sadnessOf people who don'tRemember you, andPeople whom you wish to forgetYou've visited your past
I'm just a typical teenage girl, but I still struggle.
My thoughts engulf me. I wish I could escape.
The girl you assume you know is probably fake.
I'm a prisoner, one of love. Women an men both abuse love. I give my love out freely an
passionatly. My heart lays crumpled on the floor, weeping blood. It's on the floor because
Dark and despair in the air
Tame those people who want to swear
Make them believe in something else
But keep it close to them like belts
Help them decide to take a better path
In, out
Right, left
Yes, no
Go through the motions.
What if you can't?
The walls are caving,
The ground is shaking,
The world seems to be falling apart.
There once was a girl who could never stop crying,
who had so much pain she envied the dying
Her eyes were red as a recent cut's splatter,
but she could never stop crying, so it didn't matter
you are
the thornless rose that grew amongst the baobab of my ribs
roots that wrapped around my lungs
leaving me breathless and blue
i am content
I don’t want to be heard anymore, but you are starting to listen.
I finally tell you “no” and you’re finally on your knees then,
Education is spoiled by the rotting brains
Disseminating by the television cell membranes
As learning decreases
Society let's ignorant fame and material things sink in
Getting rich quick is more motivation
Sometimes life likes to screw you overWhy can't we just live and let live?Horrible parents, a cheating loverEveryone takes what you have to give
Her neck cranes skywards, they are there, beyond the haze and mist of a day long since past. They are there and she will bring them forth. So many times, so often she has searched the endless abyss of the sky for answers.
Time elapses where the world was spinning,
the spinning stops,
the world collapses
Collapsing and falling we all break silently
in the spot that counts
soft, red tissue unmeasured
Can you see her?
can you see the acid rain falls from the skys,
every time she crys?
She walks through life with her head held high,
Tattoo my body with your touch and tongue,And I will smear the ink against your skin.So pressed together, blood and soul resungWill lift us two, so heaven lets us in.
The blue moon is the theif
that comes to steal
all of those things
that makes us feel-
feel those things
that keep us true
blue moon can only
keep us blue
so recognize-when he comes
Night skies, stars shinning bright, hot summer.
cigaret in one hand, beer in the other.
Cherrishing every moment of it.
Hotter and hotter, the sun brighter making the ocean bright blue.
They say make love, not war
But there’s always a constant battle
With my heart
I’m always fighting for another
And with every battle
I grow weaker
Losing soldiers, losing power
Will anyone finally understand the pain,
the one in my heart?
For so long I kept it there,
but to what end?
Spinning,
Whirling,
Flailing,
Falling,
Dizzy,
No where to turn.
Distant,
I'm alone, with everyone around me,
Drifting like drift wood,
In a mind boggling sea
its funny almost, how easily you can lose yourself
but how it difficult it is to find yourself again
how you can go from being completely in the now minute
and I only have
the sound of
your footsteps
committed to memory.
because the only
memory I have of you
is the one of you walking away.
It's something that's always hard to find,
True Meaning, Self Worth, Your Place-
Breaking through the constant criticism,
Happiness is
hard to truly define-
Find literal Peace in a sea of woundrous chaos-
Miss that girl, she used to always smile
She loved talking to her friend and hanging out
She loved to smile
Loved to talk
I do not understand what is wrong
She cries herself to sleep
"What shall I say
Whether or not be truthful
Or bask and in my sorrows all day.
What shall I say?
Sometimes a piercing gaze puts the pain back
And I shut it away.
What shall I say?
Bland.
Broke.
Hopeless.
Pain beyond understanding.
It cries out to be fed.
But, the truth is
the food is gone.
Without you here
makes me dead,
makes me want to die.
(For full effect, listen to 40 Part Motet- Spem in Alium by Thomas Tallis)
An empty canvas
Is as pure as snow,
And as white as the clouds
As time struggles on
The canvas is yellowed and aged,
It is torn and mangled,
The canvas is distraught,
I thought my first love will be my last
I thought its you that I belong to
But now, what I once thought remains as thoughts
For you are now waiving goodbye.
All your smiles are for me
Behind the door there is another lie
With these two I don’t even get a break
Having to deal with these two until I cry
Staying there will be another mistake
Was walking away, forgetting it all
She wants a poem I cannot write, one for which I have no sourse of inspiration or reason, drive or occassion. Yet I find myself letting the ink flow for something I have no idea why I’m doing.
Angel, oh angel,Why have you forsaken me,Cast me out for nothing,Thrown me to the ravenges of the dark?All this pain,All this torture,For a simple change in thought?Do you know not what I feel,
We have forgotten,
Summer’s last innocence at
Sunset,
How the colors melt into
Oranges and
Yellows and
Purples…
And that faint breeze
That
Used to tell us
We were forgiven.
Why I write
all we did was make eye contact.
but in that instant
between my blink and her smile
To get away from the drama that just may consume me
I write my hearts true desires
the thickness of the pain
layers upon layers
have taken a painstaking toll on me
writing takes the weight off my shoulders
She enters the setting,
With a mindset cluttered in utter agony,
But her beaming grin seems so effortless,
Despite the distress staining her heart and soul,
The loons call in the night,
spreading my heart open.
Scarred feet slide across the tile floor,
slipping away in her nightgown.
Down the newly wet grass gateway,
advancing into the shocking water.
Born into a world were it’s not guaranteed I’ll succeed.
I still reach high, breaking stereotypes as I go.
I graduated from High School; I am in college.
What else is there left to achieve?
As I sit and think… LIFE.
Dark brown eyes with a personality that brightens any gloomy situation
No one can pronounce the name but remembers the face and the smile
Before my known days
The sun shone splintering rays of diamonds
With gorgeous scenery to complement
Bliss was rampant
Faith out-lasted
And dreams materialized into obtainable goals
But yet
Why do I write?
Ha
Why do you breathe? Why do fish swim? Why do plants photosynthesize?
Writing to me is not only a way to express myself,
but
a suicide prevention plan,
an escape from reality,
Why do I write?
Ha
Why do you breathe? Why do fish swim? Why do plants photosynthesize?
Writing to me is not only a way to express myself,
but
a suicide prevention plan,
an escape from reality,
Two Weeks:
Two Weeks
Two Weeks too long
Two Weeks dragged on
Two Weeks ended wrong
Two Weeks long gone
Two Weeks
Who would have thought it’d end this way. The crows flying above and the people screaming out of love. The car came out of thin air it seems.
When you look at life as an Ocean, you will suddenly start sinking.
You see the beauty all around, as you struggle to keep breathing.
Your lungs are full of water, the oxygen is depleting.
The emptiness consumes you, filling your soul with darkness, you can't run fast enough, you can't hide well enough, Because it is inside you, forever.
Normal is Boring
Doing the Same Routine Daily
Everybody dresses the same
Its like playing an old game of Follow the Leader
One that never ends
We all go this way
Or that way
Poetry is self expression. No guidlines, no rules.
Noone to tell you, "you're doing it wronge" or "you have to do this too."
Poetry doesn't have to rhyme, have 10 beats, or eight lines.
Why I write:
I write to unleash desire
Like many forbidden dreams, I write at night
I write to control the beast who wishes to devour
I started writing to express the hurt that was wrapped,
twisted, and concocted inside of me.
It seemed to be the only way that I could fully open up
and express where I actually wanted to be.
She rests in painful slumber
Drips with salty sweat
She is unaware of what it means—
Means to be sick with fear.
She chokes on spittle—spews up spittle
Chokes on angry, violent spittle.
Every morningIts the same.I stay in bed Counting the minutes until Dementia comes to wake me up.
Alas the light turns onAnd the fans go offAnd everything becomes Dead and silent.
The day I saw my superhero first cry Was the day that she deployed That wall she had built ten feet high Cracked until it was destroyed And when she came back with fear She killed her sorrows drink after drink It was like she wasn’t here It was li