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***This Poem was written to help others who have difficulty coping with depression and bullying who need help**

 

 

When you came to tell me the feelings you’ve had,

Roaming around in your head like a thick fog of darkness,

Poisoning your mind with sickening thoughts of death and despair and all

Of the bad, you asked me: Why?

 

As if I am the answer to all of your prayers,

Like I am your Holy Lord, As if I am your savior: AS IF.

But then I stop myself and question what my brain has just processed as

Being rude in this emotional time for you.

 

Now I’m quickly trying to find a way to stop saying what I’m about to say

Because it is not true; And then BAM! I'm too late; I have already spoken the

Words that were forming in my mind…Telling you that I am not going to

Help you; Why Would I help someone like YOU?

 

You’re just pathetic, a loser, unwanted, and

The world would be better without YOU. Period. End of story. Right?

WRONG. But it is too late to change that now. The words have already

Spilled out of my mouth like the slick oil that slowly

Spills out of a crashed oil truck.

 

 I have already spoken the truth; or what I thought was the truth. But

Now that I have started, I might as well finish. I continue

Explaining how nauseous you make me and how every time

I see your face I physically get SICK and then your importance is

Diminished.  

 

And now you are standing there in front of me,

Crying. And I am just standing here laughing as you wish

You had the ability and the courage to just DIE.

And here I stand, watching. Waiting. Hoping

That you get up and kill yourself once and for all; I am ready to say GOODBYE. J

 

Then as I begin to laugh harder I feel something fall

On my own face. A water drop slowly descending down my cheek.

What the hell? Am I actually crying? I wipe it off and give it a peek.

And now I glance up. I don’t see you anymore...I see myself.

Why am I there? How am I in front of myself?

 

That’s when I feel it; the pain. That’s when I see it; the blood.

That’s when I realize it; this is me. I now understand why my eyes had

Flood. I am hiding. I am scared. I am withdrawing in my figurative

Turtle shell. Hiding from the thoughts in my own subconscious.

I was not urging YOU to kill yourself; I was urging ME. I was putting myself

Through hell.

 

I’m not standing here staring at YOU; I am standing in the mirror, looking

At me. I have given up on myself. I now have the key. I want to

Fix this; now it’s too late. Im not in front of a mirror,

I'm on a cold slate. I can’t change anything now since I did not get help;

But I'm telling you: Ask for a helping hand,

Or you’ll end up here, too.

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