Unhappiness

Sat, 09/28/2013 - 19:37 -- leont9

Looking around, there are smiles everywhere

The more I'm surrounded by people, the more anguish feeling of lonliness I feel

and then you realize, nobody cares and you feel as if you will never heal

Why can't I be happy like everyone else?

Why is it that when everyone else is happy, I'm always the one who's not?

 

The thought of realizing how alone you are really does hurt

Thinking about the burdens you have to carry overwhelms your whole body

Sooner or later, the weight is just too much to carry

and then you hit rock bottom

 

When I hit rock bottom, I don't have anyone to help me up

It's just me, in this deep black hole 

The only person I have that will help me up is myself

I know I can't do everything by myself, but what choice do I have?

 

When I think about it, it seems as if rock bottom doesn't even exist anymore

It feels as if I'm falling into a deeper hole that leads to place filled with darkness that never ends

and then I realize, I have no true friends

 

I'm alone in this deep dark place

feeling like a disgrace

I'm so worthless, pathetic, stupid, I'm never good enough  for anything

and then the tears start falling

This is too overwhelming

 

I'm drowning in these thoughts, suffocating in them

No one truly knows what I go through everyday and no one ever will

No one will ever know my true intentions and the real me

and that's how it will always be

 

I have no one that I truly trust 

I'm always having to act like I'm okay so no one worries about me

when really, I need someone to talk to 

but I have no one, and I'm not of any value

 

With all these thoughts running through my head

it makes me feel even more dead

My mind is such a scary place

I do so much self-loathing and my self-esteem is so low

all I ever do is drown in sorrow  

Sometimes I think whether or not I'll ever be happy

but then again, there's reality

 

 

 

 

 

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