The Silent Monster

Location

Let me tell you that nothing is wrong with me,
I have all four limbs and no deadly disease.
No blindness or deafness and nothing that oozes,
no broken bones or scrapes or bruises.

But there really is something very wrong with me,
There is just no medicine for my disease.
Because it’s not a physical thing that oozes,
But I do have scars, and I have bruises.

All of my battle scars are hidden in my mind,
They keep me painfully scared and mentally confined.
These scars of mine, they will never heal,
But they’re in my mind, are they even real?

I could tell someone and ask for help,
I can plead insane and cry and yelp.
But I’ve seen it happen like that before,
If they can’t see it, they don’t care anymore.

I’m only a liar if I can’t prove it,
I just want attention, I’m having a fit.
I’m a little bit awkward, is all that they think,
I want people’s sympathy, and I don’t need a shrink.

I smile all the time, how can I hurt like this?
Like I’m not living life, I’m just looking in.
How can I ever feel like I’m fine,
When I always feel like I’m dying inside?

I’m on the wrong side of an unbreakable glass wall,
I can watch everyone, they’re happy and all.
But I’m too weak and I can’t break through,
I can’t join those people and live like you do.

I can’t speak at all without feeling panic,
When I’m with people, I sink like the Titanic.
I can’t stand being lonely, I’d rather be alone,
Nobody can win, when my head is a war zone.

Maybe this is my cry for help, I can’t tell,
Maybe this is how I’ll scream- this is my yell.
I’m shouting against the wall for someone to hear,
To look out and notice that I’m not really there.

I don’t need all four limbs or lack of death,
to tell me that I am a sick mess.
No blindness or deafness or anything that oozes,
no broken bones or scrapes or bruises.

I want to be fixed, but how can that be?
How can you fix what you can’t see?
How can you solve this and set me free?
How can you kill the monster that’s inside of me? 

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741