I'm couning heartbeats in the back seat of my filth

Reminiscing about the days of mindless joy 

I never realized how naïve kids could be 

Sincerity has drained from my composure

For now I'll dream of the tallest building in the horizon for a bitter-sweet adieu

My fear of heights and my lack of success work hand in hand

Like an awkward kid with no friends

Like a dog in an empty ditch 

For now I'll limp along my narrow mindset

Panhadling on its empty streets before the state of goodwill

One day I'll starve to death 

But for now I'll look for an easing room to throw a tantrum

Chewing on my disposition 'till I vomit on my shoes

Wipe them clean with my dignity and leave them out to dry

For now I'll wait and let the empty pressure in my chest burst my lungs

Breathing under water in a lake I made two years ago

My own niche of comfortable distress

For now I'll numb myself in the space of good times

To stall the cancer in head 

I'm a burden with a gun

The corner of this desk is begging foir my skull