A Suicide Prevention Plan

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Why do I write? 

Ha

Why do you breathe? Why do fish swim? Why do plants photosynthesize?

Writing to me is not only a way to express myself,

but

a suicide prevention plan,

an escape from reality,

a way to get the pestering thoughts out.

 I write on paper so I do not write on my skin the things they used to call me.

Fat.

Ugly.

Whore.

Worthless.

Instead or staining my skin with scars,

I stain paper with my thoughts,

my pain,

my emotions.

Witchout writing I am numb.

I walk, zombie like, twards the sun,

all emotions blocked by the need to hold myself together.

But,

when I write,

I cry,

I laugh,

I live.

So,

to sum up this poem that I filled with seacrets to be judged so I can have the future I want,

I write to take the pain away.

Because,

if I did not write,

I would surly be dead by now.

Thank You

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