The Flame

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There’s darkness all around. I cannot see a thing. Darkness surrounds me, for I am afraid. I need you to hold me: to protect my inner flame. This flame inside me is the only thing keeping me alive; it gives me the will to keep living. All the bad things in this World come at me at once, and I need you to shield me from it’s evil. But you are not there. You make the flame in me flicker; trying to go out, but it is not sure if it can stay lit. Is there still oxygen to breathe: to provide to my inner flame? You hold me down with no way out, and I am trapped all alone. There is no oxygen beneath your anger and hate. No oxygen available for my fire to breath and regenerate. The pushing and shoving of your hatred down my throat is blowing out my flame. This regression you show toward me makes me want to just drench my fire. It will not go out willingly, but it will flicker. If it goes out it is all on my own to give it that power. You have given me the last straw, and I decide to drench my flame.

All darkness closes in, and evil surrounds me. Death is upon us, and only now do you show any consideration for my flame. Tears burn down my face, only to stain the floor. My wrist weak with pain you forced upon them. Trying to please you exhausts me. All I want is for you to light my flame and keep it alive and well. What should I do? I need something or someone to care for me. You are still here, but only because you have to be. We must live with the guilt of what you impelled my mind with. You may not know it, but you caused me to voluntarily drench my flame. This action will haunt us all forever. You need to learn from your mistakes, but you don’t. The flame in me still flickers at the sound of your voice. With each utter you make it make my blood boil: Making my flame quiver.  For now I can live with this quiver, but only time will make it stronger.

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Comments

laurelwilson97

 I wrote this poem based on my feelings during a mental health crisis. This poem is specifically about someone that I felt pushed me to try to 'drench my flame'. This however was two years ago, and I am since clean of all self harm! (:

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