overcome
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Today I am tears of joy
Triumphs on a mountaintop
Autumn leave and funny T-shirts
Today I am shaking knees
Giggles for no reason
I am songs hummed to no one
The squeak of new shoes
sometimes i don’t really know if there’s anyone there
downcast, empty, broken
i wait for someone
someone who may or may not come for me
alone i wait
A picture with no shadows in itHas all too much to hide.Pompous, plushy, prickly colorsWherein no truth resides.
I am from Starbucks and skinny girls in mansions.
I am from can I feel your hair and is it real ?
I always thought my parents were happy together,
I attatched myself to that idea like a tether.
As I grew older, they grew colder.
Secrets softly spread shattering and shaking my innocent soul.
Learning to read, to write, to speak,
I realized that school was just work every week,
It wasn't that hard, till after 6th,
I realized middle school was no longer a myth,
Not just one teacher, not there's 7,
Then
he took the respect she had for Herself
and the wonders from the earth around Her
he took her her kindness
and what seemed, the air from Her lungs
he took Her curiousity
She chose the path they told her to,
yet she could not recognize the face,
she who stared back from the mirror.
You are not enough.
Was it the glass breaking under the weight of stress,
was it she?
When You dig a hole, where does the dirt go?
And do You dig it fast or do You dig it slow?
In the end, a hole is a hole
But once You are in, it is time to console.
To get out of the hole, here is a clue:
Focus Misdirected
They won’t like me
they don’t care
they look upon my person
and see nothing
as if I am not there.
The fear of rejection
I’ve lost my map and I have no clue where I am going
The fear of not knowing has continued growing
The way I am has been lost for months
Taking the first step can be difficult
Overcoming fear is no easy task
All I could think was how nervous I was
Always hiding behind my own emotional mask
But I needed to know what they thought
I couldn’t ever skydive
Don’t tell me I will say
I can do it and I am not afraid
Then my mind tells me
I am too scared to face my fears
By daypowered and unafraid,By nighttired and afraid.
Tired of all the lonesomenessAfraid of accepting love...Who am I to rejectwhat has been set in motion from those above?
Adapt to surroundings
overcome your fear
no matter the fear
the only thing to fear
is fear itself
fear is natural
overcoming sepaerates you from average
overcome you fear
Underwater it seems
I live my life today.
There is no escape from the thoughts I call my own,
The fear, the shaking, the future unknown
My body reacts without control
There is no end in sight.
I hate
When I was a kid, I hated speaking in front of people
I used to hide from any opportunity there was to speak
From speaking to a relative or my teacher, I hated doing it
A plethora of predicaments race though my mind at best.
which one can I fathom to ponder about next?
Shall I even think of acting upond what my mind stirs about,
or cry my soul asleep by this never-ending drought?
I can’t speak on behalf of 1.8 billion Muslims
But I can 100% assure you this one thing
I am not a terrorist!
This all started when I was in fifth grade;
You can't hear me
You can't see me
You can't feel me
You have given birth to me
But you ignore me
I am alive!
Not your dearly departed
And yet still to you I am a failure, forever imperfect
Take a breath,
No one can hurt you here.
Close your eyes,
And worry about nothing.
My heart beats in my chest,
My breath in my ears,
The start of an anxiety attack.
I want to cry,
They say my writing is expansive
It's alot to say
When been through a life of tragedy
And empty space
The thoughts in my head you can never see
Cause your never me
Sometimes tears fall on these pages
I didn't know
How to make it
On my own
I could recreate
But not create
My words
Were their words
My smile
Was their smile
Until their words
Inspired my words
Never expected his hands to grab there,
Invading my body that parasite,
His arm on my throat I could catch no air,
He would never hurt me he wouldn’t bite.
The sun
Set on the King,
His crown gleaming as he,
Shrieked with hatred
That the sun was commanding the attention
Of the world.
Crawled and Bawled in tears
Ponder the overcome
Deep dark
Donder white
Suddenly wishing there was light
Seek help
No sight
Please stop
Please stop
Please stop
Silence
Great writers
Sit in silence
When they work,
And I
Am anything but.
Silence is madness.
He is the killer
I need to stop falling in love
with people who set a fire in me
only to get themselves warm;
and to watch me
slowly,
burn away
Does it not hurt to think about the digressions this world goes through?
To know that people descend and ascend everyday, and how it could've been you?
Fear always seems to get a bad rep
But fear is one who helps teach me whenever I misstep
The fear of becoming a failure
Seems to be my unlikely "savior"
No matter where I lay, or where I go
Trauma trapping, tripping
Over the roots that I have grown
In the back of my mind
To conduct oneself like so
I fell in love at a bus stop
I fell in love and came out on top
I fell for him and it was my fault
I fell in love at a bus stop
Across the rows
I crossed alone
More than hope
I blame you. I blame you for my completely shattered trust,
i blame you for the countless arguments of dramatic cussing
back and forth and each day ending in acts of lust.
I am a fucking phoenix.
You can tear me down
You can burn my body
Leave me in the ashes of memories
And even blow them across the floor
rain creates rainbows
through storms comes peace
darkness turns to light
Mistakes make way for improvement
losses are encouragements for wins
every pain has a purpose
I don't remember when you showed up in my life.
You're the companion I never wished for,
A thick silence that sucks away the flame of my soul.
A vacuum of grey is left in its place, not bad, not good.
Ode To Lewis:
Lovely cards of life
Define her future
They spoke with their eyes
Minds gleaming and newer
Carnival prize,
Dear Depression,
You’re getting heavy, I’m sick of carrying You.
I’m tired of You beating my soul so black and blue.
You are intelligent
Yet you know nothing
You are full of ideas
Yet you don’t know how to express them well
You are full of wisdom
You may be hard sometimes,
But not always are you this way.
You may make me cry and shout,
But still I laugh and smile.
You may weigh my shoulders down,
Burdensome you can be.
Fear.
A gentle breeze stings.
Failure whispers into your ears.
Hiding is the only peace.
Hiding stops the wind.
Stop.
Stop your hiding.
Rise to challenge the wind
The wind will blow back.
I realized, as the world before me was bathed in yellow and orange sunlight,
that I have been cold.
It is warm and homey and yet, I am cold. In my bones there's a sickening chill,
In the land of the free we enslave each other
We're suppose to love, but instead we betray our own sister and brother
We have the chance to overcome, but we hold ourselves back
And now I’ve come to the end,
I walked a very long way.
Miles and years,
Smiles and tears.
But there is nothing left for me to say.
You didn’t hurt my feelings,
If I spoke in lines of poetry, it would be broken
Every line seperate from the rest
My words would fall disconnected
You would not be able to make sense of it
Stabbed in the ear by ten different tounges
That made me work for silver one.
You are neglectful of my own neglect
Now I am sitting tall, purched over the blind
Calling me weak made me bench weights so I can bench you
Somber winds beat against the door
fallen words halted by the sound
forgotten ways yearn for the past
feelings once erupt are now bound
without words how can I express,
Wasn’t it just night outside?
I can feel the sun.
Somehow I find myself again
splayed on the couch
SVU still muted on the screen.
Every morning starts like this,
in blurred disarray
Have you ever seen a Flower
A Single Blooms every Hour
But when comes the shower
They fight
Instead of soaring up like a kite
They became a revolting sight
Lowering themselves without delight
Place cards at an empty table say that not just anyone can sit
but if you find a blank one in the trash and in your pocket there's a pen
then a wasted piece of paper becomes a justifable document
I wandered over the black bald
And fingered through the blue wrinkled pages.
I recalled when
I cracked my neck and rolled my eyes and
I asked you what was the point.
When
I wandered over the black bald
And fingered through the blue wrinkled pages.
I recalled when
I cracked my neck and rolled my eyes and
I asked you what was the point.
When
When I was a young age of
four,
I wanted to understand why the other kids could run
faster and l o n g e r
than I could.
When I was
six,
I did not know why the big, bad
You told me to look inside myself.
And find the answer to your riddle.
To reach into the deepest caverns,
Of a heart that’s damn near shriveled.
You want to know about my life,
Voices in the dark
Madness, that defiant spark
Words, Rhythm, Poetry, Rhyme
Escape, Express
The Truth is mine.
My speech on paper,
The world unkind,
Speak out with thunder
The one thing I cannot live without is the belief that I am GOOD ENOUGH.
Before I realized I was GOOD ENOUGH,
life was much harder,
days much longer,
problems much bigger
AND worries much more suffocating.
Into the darkness she started
Hole in her heart, broken hearted
She wondered through desolation
Tear-streaked eyes, no salvation
No one can truly know how it feels to have an addiction
until they have experienced it.
It lures
deceptively attractive
temporarily appealing then,
disapointingly unsatisfying and
Like the leaves drift through the wind,
They start from somewhere not knowing their end.
Their frail fragil bodies supported by the air,
Forgetting their burdens under its care.
The only time I can’t forget you
Is in my drawn out fever dreams.
Half human, half animal,
You draw me in
Like an “Alice in Wonderland” character that shifts
" I am a women of Power"
with strength and matter,
all girls matter,
i am strong and made of steel,
i can make all things come real,
with a heart of gold my heart is my soul,
I am a women,
Dark clouds do not creep up at night,
Instead graze our minds when the sun does shine
And the thoughts impale us with softened blades,
Though our smile rivals the daylight,
If pried and smeared away with time,
Everything I need
Is contained in my actions.
To be different
Unique
Stand out from the crowd.
I cannot live without
The differences I make
In myself
And in others.
Am I
I am ADHD
I am Anxiety
I am Depression
I am the product of all
the hells I encounter.
There is a monster in them
I morph into the monster.
I become
ADHD
I am a feather blowing in lies pushed all around by family ties. People I love and people I trust corrode me away like iron and rust. I try to see and to understand, but I feel like I'm lost in a desolate land.
A smile from an unexpected stranger
A generous tip to a hardworking waiter
A plate of food offered to those not fed
Slick sleet, sleepy things
Stumble over me
Hot mess, camo dress
Be still to not be seen
Fire moths busy
Setting sparks to trees
No time to seek for shelter
As grenades go
How can you miss someone who was never physically there
Never felt their touched or the texture of their hair
Never held their hand or kissed their lips
Yet they seem to be the only person you miss
Dream Big and Dream Small
Dont let the Failures Fall
Step High and Step Low
Choose the Right Path to go
Succeed Now and Succeed Later
Succeed when you Make Friends with Haters
Live Now and Live Then
Judge by the hourAll they want is powerAll they want is to see you cryBut it's only liesIt’s not the truthEven though they have the proofJudge by the hourBut they are the cowards
Cigarette burns and bloody towels on my carpet make the world seem like a bitter lonely place
A place in which I stare into the mirror and can not recognize my own face
I strut my stuff because I love who I am.
Not going to let a couple of kissing bugs
hop on the train like a couple of drugs.
And if I fear would I be here?
Might as well call me musketeer.
you
have a past
many scars
use them to break down bars
let go of your fear and dare to succeed
now you know
that's the reason" they're always lookin' at me "
be bright, be bold
These demons
This pain
And this everlasting dread.
No friends… just devils
Inside of my head.
No, I am afraid you’re wrong.
I am words
And lyrics
I am “tell me that I am everything you need.”
No, I am not silence.
I am tears and laughs
TREVOR FLAWLESS
(greased and polished)
When you're standing tall and proud,
At 6am, I'm miserable.
Time to get out of bed, move my behind,
Clock in for $7.25 at the daily grind,
Eight hours for this is fucking criminal.
At noon, I'm finally awake.
You're all that's ran through her mind,
overthinking and lack of sleep,
What was it about you that captivated her?
Why was she in so deep?
Two years ago she was different,
You don't have long to live
So why end it now
Stress can go so far but
obtaining the power of decision
can save your lives
Am I a black male?
do you judge me by my skin?
or am I a male who is black?
do you acknowledge my dark skin?
Ignorance will tell you alot about me
I am from the hood
always up to no good
Judgement and speculations
Have always been passed over me
Always been placed on me
By family
By friends
By people I don't even know
Why is this?
Justice for all?
Damn near justice for none!
People die everyday,
Because the world can't control their guns
Innocent people die in vain.
If the police do a crime,
Is it ok?
" i just don't have the proper training to deal with your...condition...i hope you understand."
i nod, because yes, i do understand.
i understand that when you look at the scars on my thigh and ankle, you get chills
The secret signs you imagined
The signals you gave back
The special smile you thought was solely for you
The feelings you thought were there but it turns out lacked
The way you felt when talking to them
You would think someone with a disease would have problems in school such as socializing or generally fitting in. Growing up down south and moving to New York city was a huge change for me.
This house sometimes feels empty
No one understands I don't mean to hurt them
I just don't know how to reach out
My mom was my galaxy and I was a stargazer
Now she's just part of the Milky Way
I woke up on a dirty mattress on the floor of a friends house. It's my 16th birthday. A huge milestone in a young persons life.
The worlds a stage and we are just mere actors, But the stage is too large, the lights to bright The audience won’t like us if we aren't just right Just the right amount of funny, pretty, smart, kind We panic under the pressure but it’s all just
You see that person sitting alone?
That person hiding pain behind a smile?
Had you even looked into their file
Would you not have seen the suffering?
Would you not understand?
You see that person?
I am me
You are you
You don't know me
I don't know you
Nothing but rumors
Spreading like a disease
Some can be true
and others can be false
You wouldn't know
I sit quietly ignoring the pain, but she whispers to me. I try to eat, but she whispers to me. I try to laugh and almost succeed, but she whispers to me.
What is she whispering?
Hate. Slander. Lies.
Because you said I couldn’t wear my long hair down.
I stomped into daycare,
Threw my bands on the ground.
Violence, much happens to people who keep silence
Oppression led the oppress to depression
One gun can kill many sons
Teenage girls are confused, all bruised
The strongest man endures the darkest days
But to endure does not mean that he simply
Takes
And
I have been gone too long,
living in the past.
Trapped by all the mistakes,
I have ever made.
Remembering everytime,
I let someone down.
But it is time to move on,
I have an associates degree at eighteen
but I haven't made it , to everybody else my goals are just... dreams
just because i have a limp, i have no potencial it... seems
on top of that im Mexican with a love for hip hop,
Something about this room
Holds a ghost of you
In the dark it makes me cringe
Causing me to check shadows
When you dwelled here
Your words where nine-tail whips
Every vowel cracked mid swing
The devil is chasing me
Always has been
Since the day I was conceived
He tries to make me give in
Though there're many enticements
And many temptations
Dear Person Who Deserves to Die a Fiery Death While Simultaneously Being Eating By a Shark,
You say this pain is my fault
that i put this gapeing hole in my chest
when all i tryed to do was set you free
from your monster inside
i put myself in harms way over and over again
i tryed to help
Little girl grown, how you toss and turn in your bed while images of him plague your sweet mind.In the night-time you see his face.
Sometimes life's a bitch. You practice for something over and over. It's Practice, Practice, PRACTICE! But even then it's not enough. I didn't make it. People always say there's next year. What do you know?!
"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me"
why does she starve herself?
you're fat
those are just words
why does she hate what she sees in the mirror?
you're ugly
My mind is a haven for imagination.
No need for sleep in order to be dreaming.
Stories are just constantly streaming.
Visualizing unwritten characters is my daily preoccupation.
Sitting. Waiting. Wishing. Hoping that life will spare me today.
So impatient, anticipating the change of atmosphere, but there is none.
Negativity surrounds me; four concrete walls of hostility slowly closing in.
The sky
Drowns the world
In silent sorrows
Of its own.
Oversized droplets
Create a harmony
Of misunderstood
Memories.
Like the raindrops
your life is as refreshing as water
it doesn't always seem that way.
you think of where to go and the endless amount
of water in the ocean
can almost a + d + d
up the tears you've shed.
you
All my Life I been going through the same thing
At times want to give up
Because of all this pain
Trying to prove people wrong
They say I wont change
Well why judge me when they are doing the same thing
My heart races as he walks by
I am nervous, I hope he does not say Hi
He caught me watching him carrying his tray.
Yes, he is looking my way
He is praying before his meal
There's a crime that's stuck inside my mind
A life built on this crooked line
I'm lost in these innocent times
My cries are unheard
My destination is absurd
So many crowding around my room
I want to hear from you
What you have to say
Whatever is on your mind
I know you feel empty,
Alone, and scared.
I know that from the very first
Moment you heard the phrase
Dark shadows underneath those
frosty blue eyes,
smudged with jet black mascara
from a long, hollow night.
The wind blows relentlessly,
the world is still asleep as you
trudge the streets that
Whats the point of faking a smile?
when in all reality your miserable inside
people call you selfish for wanting to die
but your whole life you've faked the smile
so they don't feel guilt
He waits by the streaming Falls.
A healthy mind is stalled by a growing void.
It spills deeper into a pipework of drains,
I used to think I could not write for a living
Because my mind was blank as
The pages of a journal just picked up from the store
Some need to change how they fulfill their life. Live life. Love it. Do not waste it. I wish they would understand life is a river that will meet waterfalls sometimes.
You are a star.
Not a bright, burning ball of gas somewhere so far away in the atmosphere that we can only see a small speck.
Not an actor, or singer, or dancer, or some other famous person that is famous only for being famous.
After everything, you were ignoredLike me before, lonely and boredI chose to take a standGave to you my hand
When I was eight years old they told me to stop
At eight years old my academic license expired
I was destined to be average
All because little girls and little boys ridiculed my intelligence
So you pick on me?
Why?
Do you really hate me like you said?
Or is that a lie.
Like the lies you tell to everyone else saying I did something
Like I am your enemy
Well your mine
Your my enemy
He played me like a cello
soft and sweet
until the finale.
The high notes whined
and the low notes dragged on, on, on.
The finale
was agonizing.
Scars do not mean that the pain is over
Healing deprives me of strength
Ubiquitous flashbacks of the good times
Mingling with frustration, despair and longing
I’ve been trying to retaliate
Sometimes I feel loneliness in my soul, loneliness that even with people around me it can’t be removed
A loneliness that I have since December
Not even with the funniest joke will this great solitude purge.
I feel useless
I feel unloved
I feel like no one contacts me unless they need something
I know it's true because when I need someone,
No one replies
But the second they need me I am there
Today is today, I mean that's what everyone says. But today is the day that I hide , in the shadows, faces of you are revealed in my sight. I'm afraid to ever walk in those steel doors, because with me you have no insight.
the ten year old boy sat still
waiting for his mom to drive him to school
his stomach felt ill
the kids called him fool
i look at him
he looks at me
i say keep your head up
it'll get better
Curled up
Trapped within
A living shell
I slam against it
Scratch at it
Work harder than I ever have
But even when
It is open
I still am not free
He lifts me up even when I deserve to have fallen
I constantly seek this faith and he guides me to my calling
He is an awesome God with plans for my better
He is my shelter in stormy weather
All of a kids high school years, are spent in fear, fear that he'll get picked on because he's fat, walking down the hallways and hears them, pointing, laughing, all for a joke, he sits there and wishes he could choke, every single one of them.
People do not think always when they speak
Some words can change us and set us apart
We have heard it before, fat, fool, fag, freak
These words are like sharp daggers through the heart
I can taste it
no feel it
the warm, crimson colored liquid as it seeped out of my flesh
ahhh FRESH
but as the darkness devours me all I can
think of,
see,
is
you.....
The world is too big for one man to do all the talking
The world is too small for everyone to speak at once
That’s why I’m speaking my mind now
She goes by no name. Nor has any friends. She sits alone watching everyone else smile and laugh.
What is in my way?
In the way of my dream?
Incorrect phrasing.
Who is in my way?
Is it the society that surrounds me?
No.
Is it my dad who wants me to be a money-maker?
No.
I'm "that girl".
The one that everyone wants to be.
All the parents point at me.
I have the great grades.
Looks like I've got it all made.
I'm blonde and blue-eyed.
Everywhere we look, people silently judge, that's what they always do, we think we look fine, we act polite, we dream big and cry inside, everyone is a judge, you just don't know , they could be your best friend, a parent, or just a mere acqainte
Why would you just stand and watch?
What if it was your friend or family?
Feeling emotionally lost.
Feeling as if no one is there.
Feeling embarassed.
What I Would Change
By Adde Kramer
Sadness
I have a happy voice
that can be heard by fe
ut e people that do hear
i hop are happy too.
You ask what I would change about things in my life, today. Why does the world listen to the media and accept what they say? Why doesn’t internal beauty matter to us more than external looks?
ahe looked at her scars, her bracelets and then
she told herself "ill never need them again"
she picked up the razor and aimed at her wrist
but something peculiar haooened; she missed.
He said that it was such a stupid thing to have
that I must feel embarrassed
And I was
embarrassed
for the sheer innocence of it all
I didn’t understand why he scorned upon it
hated me for it
I know what its like,
To not belong,
To be called weird,
Just for being me.
I am alone,
I know not what I did,
I know not why,
But I stand alone.
Where are you when the children call?
Memories revive at fixed scents.
The way your hair swept in the wind.
Your hands, delicate and soft objects.
Tell me, how are you nowadays?
Some say you have to be cruel to be kindI say being cruel is just so you could say hurtful things to othersAnd not care what that person thinks.All my life I have been bullied and witnessed others being bullied
I looked up and saw that dark shadow,
My keys fell to the ground, and I knew I wasn't allowed to make a sound.
The next few seconds went in a blur,
Until you bashed my head against the window my words began to slur.
She, she knows all of what love is not. It comes to her like a foreign language nobody has ever cared to teach her.
Diseases, diseasesKeep me with Jesus.
My name's not punk,Nor am I junk.To give you a start,I have my own heart.
Life isn't as easy as people make it look, next time your in class, think, you see that kid acting goofy? The one who sits there and does nothing all class, sits there on his ass and makes comments trying to get you to laugh?
Why must we try,
on something that'll never work?
If just looking at me is painful,
Why even try?
If there is no rhym
nor reason,
then what's the point?
what's there to say?
I’m on the verge of setting free
of all the pretty things left inside me
does that scare you?
she lived through pitch blackness
she held siccors to her stomach for hours on end
she held bottles of bleach in her hands
her tears silently falling as she tried bringing it up to her lips
The depth of it all, the rise and the fall. Room 116A, just making sure I'm okay. Tomorrow isn't promised, yesterday wasn't either. Blood steaming like fire, it's like my heart has a fever. Yes, I'm a non believer but I did believe him.
I got people looking up to meBut I'm just not that heroic.It's like I'm living a double life,I promise you don't even know it, Cause I don't even show itAnd I don't even flow it
There we stood face to face
neither one daring to flinch
The mirror howling
screaming in agony
its cries growing more and more and even more intense
All the room is silent
Sounds of pens clicking
Teachers flipping through the pages of the same book
Suddenly a girl walks in
She seems different
Smells different, too
Boys snicker and tell her things
Bullying hurt..
No matter how old your are
Step up and say something
More than a 1,000 kids are bullyied
It hurts... I know it does
Make a change to your school and reach out to others
Why such hurtful words?
Did you enjoy the first time you got a tooth pulled cause your cravings called for sweets?
Did you find pleasure while falling from your bike, scraping a chunk of skin off your leg?
I believe in the innocence of a child
The freedom of a kid
The choices of a teenager
The maturity of an adult
Stop It
You've got beautiful arms, no need to abuse it
You've got a beautiful soul, id hate for you to lose it
so put up that razor, up that knife,
up those feelings filled with strife.
and stop it.
The hours she spends to be perfect,
the hours tries to cover her flaws.
She cannot see the beauty within,
she only sees the ugly outside.
If only she could leave the quarrel;
just disappear into thin air.
The apostle Paul, in the first book of Corinthians and the thirteenth chapter said: "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a
Don't quit,
When the roads are hard,
And darkness is around you,
Don't ever quit.
You're worth it,
More than the pain,
More than anything,
You are worth more than giving in.
***This Poem was written to help others who have difficulty coping with depression and bullying who need help**
I feel broken and understimated by the people that I deal with in my lifeI'm overcome by the thought that I will never sleep a whole night in my life
When you look at me what do see?Do you see an original or do you see a copy?
Do you see beauty or do you see ugliness?
When you look at me what do you see?
Do you see a rich person or do you see a poor person?
You let others break you And they watch you fall
Do you even try to fight?
To speak up at all?
Or have you been silenced?
By the mocking
And the pain
When they knock you down again
You are beautiful,
You are love,
You are worhy
You are worhy of love that you cannot even begin to comprehend.
This love is everlasting, unconditional, unfailing, never ending.
Now he's dead
No one knows why
He committed suicide
On his first try
No one knows the thoughts
that went through his mind
They're afraid to delve deeper
For fear of what they might find
Stuck in the dark, so bland and dry.Tired of remarks, so full of lies.Shutting it out, yet in it seeps.Without a doubt, too many emotions to keep.
High on life, feel so joyous
No more strife, lovely world so glorious
Darkness descends, enveloping joy
Unable to mend, this overlapping ploy
The pain you cause her, is it worth it?
You don't know her, her life, her story or her thoughts.
Why is it so fun to cause her pain?
What if she goes home and get the same tourment?
Walking down the hall, is like being on display.
People point and laugh, every day.
The fact and the matter is, is that this is not okay.
I know that I can't be the only one who has anything to say.
I'm looking at the waves, entranced by their strength. They throw me under and thrust me aside, as if my presence isn't a bother at all. Yet when I look into the compressed sands, I see my reflection magnified.
Your words no longer faze me, they can’t hurt me. I cried at night you made me hate me. Your words cut, cut so deep I watched myself bleed. You with your pretty hair and your perfect skin how can I fight back.
A lot of people wonder why I’m so concerned on listening to people’s problems and respecting people.
Everyone's going to have a bad.
Some people take it a little more seriously.
There are people who need someone.
They sit in their rooms and blame themselves
For EVERYTHING.
Dear Soceity,
You need to stop with these lessons,
Where young girls are forced to see
How imperfect their bodies can be.
How sex is a tool for sucess,
How breasts are ment for something so much less.
My life,
its not as bright as the sun
nor the light,
but it stands out at night,
my arms,
they arent what they used to be,
pull up my sleeves and
you will see what I mean,
Do not be fighterDo not be curse that person or animal outinstead be a peacemakerDo not steal a thing that you really wantDo not kill that person
Here's a thought,
The thought is life
The thought is need
What good is life when no one believes?
People say life is short,And that "You Only Live Once"But life is the longest thing you'll ever do.Why should I keep going?Why should I keep breathing?I can't find the meaning.
Is it normal to hate someone we've never met
Is it normal to talk about the way they look
talk
A single tear
Falling from a face
All that is seen is the fear
That no one can embrace
Many ask why
Why so upset
Why cry
Behind the tear is all regret
We live in a world where double standards bloom around us
Waiting for the picking
Like fresh lillies in the spring time.
If you have acne, you're ugly
If you don't, you're stuck up.
It rises
and falls
only to rise again.
A circadian pattern,
until one day it falls too hard.
Shattered and torn,
It attempts to rise.
Every abuse is not a physical pillUnless you’re unwise and unskilledThese tones stone the insidesOf happiness and eventually toss youTo shame and leave you fearing any game
Why should I do what my peers say to fit in?If you think I would hang out with you delinquents, you are sorely mistaken.I have control over my mind, my body, my soul.You try to slow me down because I'm on a roll.
Kick me when I’m down
And tell me I don’t matter
I want to feel I belong
That’s all I ever asked
Now really can you blame me
I throw a rock onto the flaring surface.
It sizzles,
Crackles.
Sputters
As the last bit of mineral disintegrates into nothing.
Testing the waters, I suppose
You are never too far gone
Though life is never easy or fair
Hope appears much like the dawn
Bringing with it something rare
The light shines brightest in the dark
A tsunami sent by one line of text
Adrenaline floods my veins-
emotions are drowning, tumbling
just trying to catch up with my brain
My heart jumps, flips, flies out of my chest-
To play victim to the same cuel fate, fills a person with such strong hate.
Yes, i'm da fool once again, yet I never know how it begins.
You sit there and fill me with false pretentions.
Are you mad at me?
I sent you to the hospital because I’ve been there
Been where you are now
I was surprised when you thanked me
Now I feel awkward
I couldn’t let you die
Help up in her room,
No more time for tears,
Another fifth gone,
But it won’t numb her fears,
The words they said,
Even in the silence it’s all she hears.
When I was ten, my friend asked me,
"Do you want to fly, or be invisible?"
I chose to be invisible.
You may have had a rough life, present & future – but who are you to judge the future?
I feel as if I'm stuck in a cage, knowing my potential I bring myself to burst out in rage, this stage of trials is rough, as I lay under the rubble it is tough to see light, in spurts I try to raise with all my might but through the dust it's
“Not in Vain”
Another mistake, love gone casted to flames
The good went wrong, am I the one to blame?
This train keeps moving along, wait stop this is wilderness
My Father is the greatest
My Father is the greatest because of him I have been created
The difference in me is great, the becoming of my life will bring me to my fate, the mysterious I have for myself brin
I’ve been given a gift, rather a blessing that takes you for who you are in all
As she walks through the halls
the whispers get louder
she's listening
her tear drops glistening
your telling her she's not good enough
some say she's not hood enough
she's debating
Hands in the sky
On my knees
Nobody heard
My piercing scream
The broken remains
Of the world around
Shattered and fell
With a deafening sound
Honorio Freeland
Lost in the World
Who am I?
What makes me, me?
Eighteen years young,
With not plenty to show for it.
Things aren't always black and white,
There’s always a tint of grey.
Someone's always watching.... judging,
It happens every day.
Teachers never see it,
Never will I forget the heavy chain of scatterbrained problems that emitted from a simple choice.
In the shadows I sit
Away from the crowd,
A class full of voices
My own starts to drown.
From class to class I rush and hide
From room to room I stumble and cry,
I am the girl you laugh at every day
I am the boy with scars on my arms
I am the geek who hides behind books
I am the jock who's scared of sexuality
I am the cheerleader with the imperfect body
If only they knew , if only i could say..i hate coming to school everyday.
Not because of the lunch, or the switching my class rush.
I can't cry,
Because that is admitting defeat,
I can't cry,
Because if I did you'd tear me down more.
I can't smile,
Because you know if I do it'll crack into a thousand pieces,
I can't smile,
I am reaching out to youBut you cannot or will not hearCan’t you see that I am in need?You look without seeing my tears I am so lonesome. All by myself
Hand in hand
our gazes met.
One quick smile,
one skipped breath.
Is this love?
Do I have faith?
To lunge head first
or am I too afraid.
I wasn’t happy with me,
So I tried being a different me.
I tried to be the me everyone else wanted to see
It can come on slow and it can come on fast
Sometimes you’d never know it’s even happening
Your palms start to sweat and your heart is about to burst
There is an empty place in my chest, an empty spot where my thoughts use to flow and my memories use to play. The familiar rhythm that's kept me alive for so long is slowly coming to a halt.
My heart sings the words
Of my soul
It feels all my weeknesses
It hears all my screams
It tastes the chalking of my blood
It smells the fear of my aching beat
It sees the nightmares that I
Used to be friends our first year
Fast-forward, I’m standing here
Halls are deserted, no one in sight
Here you come from behind and body check me on the right
That’s how it started
She may have finally done it
She may have finally found her path
The sky blue comforter was appealing,
But with deep thought,
She found that its arms of cotton,
Its pillows of visions of fantasy,
There's a saying.
It's quite old.
There's a saying.
That's often told.
"Sticks and stones may break your bones,
but words with never hurt you"
I don't believe that this is true.
Paddling so hard
from the water wall behind.
Too slow and i fall.
Then I tumble and I roll
to submerge to the unknown.
She was a very young girl
Life just started it would seem
About fifteen years old
Life being torn by the seams
I’m walking a thin line,
I’m running out of my lifeline.
They’re letting go, they’re moving on
How come I’m so far gone?
Why am I so worthless?
My life so pointless?
I thought about it once or twice,
maybe three or four.
About suicide, and what it would be like,
if I didn’t live anymore.
My world is dark and gray,
filled with sorrow and lots of pain.
Society has spoken,
nobody cares.
He cries all alone,
for the truth he cannot bear.
He bleeds all night
yet no one is there,
not one single person
nice enough to care.
There she was alone again
she made her choice
so we'd hear her silent voice
maybe I was so stupid,
for not seeing this before
This is why,
she cried to sleep at night
I'm a glass house.
Just take a glance, you'll know if I'm home or not
Maybe a light is on, music is playing
Peer a little deeper to be sure that I'm not
Survey my windows to see if you can find me,
Gnawed on pencils, annoyed expressions,
Everyone had their own confessions.
Yet, here we were, sitting, pretending to care,
About the lives of others, like it was even fair.
Judgment and the shifting of eyes,
Broken pieces shattered on the ground
They continue to tip toe around
Afraid to clean a mess that wasnt theirs
Scared that I will only break theirs
Taped together many times for moments
Living in darkness seemed the best way
Light never reached my face as I lay
As the fabric of life seemed to fray
Hateful words spoken in spite
Light was no longer in my sight
For what it's worth?
This is my new start, new heart, shining at the end of this semester's tunnel
To love, to live,To hug and forgive.With out love of others, we live without hope,From sisters and brothers,to bacon and the Pope.Learn to loveto come above.Find the one without shun.
There she lay,
On her bathroom floor thinking only about death,
She stared at the pills scattered on the floor,
As she took her last breathe,
Only being able to see gray,
She was happy she finally escaped,
I miss your smile,
i miss your face,
i miss your strongly supporting embrace.
I miss your voice,
i miss your words,
that made me feel like, the only girl in the world.
I miss your laugh,
You see the discrimination.You see all the hurting eyes and the crying faces.You just stand there as they suffer. And I, a third party, am just as guilty. Insults sting like gunshots to the legs,and she takes the blows. Words hold no power.The gun
As she closed her eyes she imagined her life before her
Her eyes were bowed down in defeat, in weakness
She reminisced on what she had lost, what she had gained
Your the love of my life, The bright star that shine in me, The inspiration that put me to my feet. You mean the world to me. Everyday dreaming about the day we will meet again. Your the sorrow in myy heart, I never knew you and i was like stars.
I was alive when i met you.
Alive but cautious because I always feared death...
feared what it would be like if you left....
You made me live reckless on the edge..
and the times i spent with you....
A young girl is brokenThat poor girl shed tearsThe little girl is leavingNo one even hears
Crying, she falls asleep at nightWaking up seems to be a curseNo one ever loves herMaybe its time to go home
She strokes my hair gently
Kisses me passionatlely
Hugs me tightly
Always loves me
Wants to be with me forever
Cares about me more than anything
Spends every second of every day by my side
Vibrations in my head’s empty space; unoccupied.
Relative measurements of relative ideas.
And drops of controversy fall from the unmarked sky.
Ebony sky; full of fire’s red embers.
There is no day that goes by
I feel angry with the world
I sit quietly in my room
I pray for a better tomorrow…
How would my life be
Without fear and sadness?
How would it feel to be
Two lovers intertwined in a complicated web.
One compromised by word.
The other compromised by heart.
One chained.
One free.
The Night arrived room,
The flame lit up the glistening blade.
Her towel fell from her body,
on the ground it laid.
A drop of moisture from her hair,
curved her upwards chest.
Upon the polished pearl slate
Lingers the past within:
Blood-stained hair and eyes.
Remember the queries and suggestions:
Stay the original course,
No altering just for appeasement.
As the sun rises andAnother day takes flight;The blessing is fulfilled again.As the dew begins to lite;My heart flutters,For my love is forever in sight.
life is full of opportunities
if you're in the land of the free
where dreams will come true
as you will do
become someone important
and you will achieve big than an ant
Its always a secret
We cant go here, we cant go there
So and so comin, so we cant go
I cant follow you on social media, cause people might know
You put me in a little pocket and take me out when you want
They think she's happysee her smile and just assumebut what they don't know might kill herit might lead her to her doom Little do they knowher mind has the controlshe is slowly dyingsoon she may very well go In her eyes is the painon her arms ar
Reaching out, gripping your hand with mine,
Muscles stretching, tendons straining to hold on.
My grip is starting to slip away; I Won't Let Go.
Your memories entrenched within my mind,
The pain I feel is from within,
The smile is all a show,
The dreams I had
Once big and bold
Suddenly crushed and hopeless.
Who needs me
I am no-body
Unwanted, alone, trapped..
You really don't know when the end comes, the end of anything. I felt everything I needing to feel, craving to feel and it's sharp heel digging into my skull, I never asked, but was worthy enough for it.
Have you ever wanted to die
Have you ever wondered whats on the other side
Have you ever looked yourself in the face and thought why
WHY… HY… HY… am I alive
What is the meaning of life
I ask for your forgiveness in writing this to you, and I can assure it will be my final interference in this delicate matter.
I know the voices in your headThey've reached down into your coreI know the lies that they have said because I've heard them all before
Maybe it's time, that I give you a simple rhyme. A reason to listen, as my eyes glisten. I'm tired of the lies, those that binds and ties; my very soul from becoming whole. I may not be the poster child, but I wasn't raised up wild. Don't mock
Your thumbnails are very beautiful, I’m sure you think so too;
You must be very proud of them, gorgeous, pink, and small;
I can tell you love them very much, because staring at them is all you do.
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me
We've heard it, said it, learned it.
But tell me do people choose to take their life because this rhyme is right?
The perfect girl,
That's what everyone saw.
The one that everyone knew.
The girl without a flaw.
But when she looked in the mirror,
She hid behind a facade.
All the scars on her wrists,
Say what you want, do as you please
for I know that whatever you doin ain't
gonna happen to me. You can scowl,snarl,
and glare but I'm untouchable like the air.
You may say your wicked taunts and do your evil
Isolated from your peers,
alone and rejected,
different from the others,
you feel diseased, infected.
it's impossible to change everyone,
difficult to get it through their heads,
She’s far from an innocent
For deep in her past
Lie memories in waiting,
Coming on fast.
The shame and the guilt
Are too much to take,
So she closes her eyes
And accepts her fate…
He was my summer love the year of twenty twelve
He was my everything for him I'd do anything
he was what I needed and maybe if I pleeded,
I'd get another chance or at least a last dance.
Chains
Chains
clinking metal frozen
wrists bound
reaching for freedom
no key to set me free
or strength to uncuff
Life, life goes on. It goes on. A bus full of light, and im not on board. It continues to march forward in an illuminescant path, but i cant seem to find my way. Am i trapped or am i stuck? Why cant i approach this light?
I've been knocked down before someone knocked down my door. They been down a street where you didn't want to meet, as well as me.
If you walk into the lighttowards the end of the tunneland you don't come backhad its beauty ensnared youor had it simply scarred you?
Am I stupid?
Am I crazy?
A maniac, perhaps?
How can I still love you?
How can you still love me?
I look at you and I still see utter perfection.
The way you walk, talk, laugh, and smile.
I keep thinking about you. But I'm not sure what to do. Maybe If i stop dreaming of what could be.Maybe If i stop thinking of it as you and me.Maybe letting you go is the key.
I miss that feelingWhen I felt the surgeThe boost of spiritsThe sound of birdsThe world was laughterThe peace, like rainBut since it happenedIt won’t come again
i want to read the lines of your hands as if they where peices of paper with a story to tell. I want to kiss your hands so that my lips could tell the verystory of which your hands plead to speak. I want to swim in the river of your emotion
Sticks and stones break bones,
And they aren't always alone,
Cause sometimes words hurt even more,
Leaving behind a heart truly sore,
And beating three beats behind,
My wrists... like paper.
The knife... a pen.
The blood it savors.
The ink, it sends.
My skin is torn.
The paper is ripped.
Blade like a thorn.
The pen, it shifts.
Every scar has a story.
I am the ugly sister. These are the words I can’t escape. I cannot escape the rejection, or the hate. I am the one that no one comes to claim. My sister says the muffin top will go away, that I need to work harder.
Come with me to the room of doors for some funTake a deep breath and open door number oneIn this room livesA teenage girlHiding awayFrom the cruel cruel world.Her eyes are hollowHer soul a shell
What do you actually see when you look into these dark brown eyes?
Do you see a girl with happiness all around her or a girl galloping through a meadow filled with dasies.That's what you think you see but you dont really see the
I'm always dreaming,
Even when I'm awake.
In my dreams, I have control
Usually...
Until one day,
There was a razor in my hands
And I awake to lots of blood
Everywhere...
She glances at the clock,
As it flashes eleven twelve.
She sighs once again,
As she places another notebook on the shelf.
Through another clover patch,
She searches for a wish.
Her efforts to no avail,
Why would someone do such a thing?
Someone please tell me why.
He gave him so much of his effort.
So much of his money and time.
Between the two was everything.
He'd helped him stand back up.
His Holding Into My Emptiness of my universe , while my mind is out of earth ! A start wont probably reach to my hopes ! While im here left in the back with a bag tht was left ! It was left to the wrong person
What you see is what you get.
What you see I don't get,
you look but you don't see.
you know where I be,
but you do not know me!
you see black and you see white,
you think what you might.
Tainted, tainted is the light,
No more is it pure and bright,
Tainted, tainted as the night,
No one can see for it is dark with fright,
Scarred am I from battles and wars,
Recovery is not an option,
I've paid the price of losing someone
I lived my life without a rule book
I'd always imagined he'd be the one
I came untied and fell to ashes
I loved him, he made me cry
Your subtle whispers
scream in my ears
exclaming hate
pronounce my fears
I can see your staring eyes
looking through me
judging, spreading rumors
lies
But I am strong
A horizontal line,
A bluish-purple vein,
how much would it take
to drive me insane?
A few more hospital visits,
A few more prescription pills
they say recovery is possible
I stand here touching the breeze in my hair,
feeling unconscious full of despair,
I feel the touch of freedom.
You told me i have legs, so I walk.
I stand here with the darkness in my eyes,
ou claim to know me. Yet you don’t see my pain, my suffering, my black, shriveled up excuse for a heart. All you see is the smile, the overweight child, the kid that sits alone at lunch. You claim to know me.
Not a sight nor
Neither here or there
A covering vail
Would you care?
Here today but not in the morrow
In view but far away
Yet there is
Nothing to say
Cradled by solitude
Because of other's attitude
Death, depression, and disfigurement do a bully make
Leaving destruction in wake.
Take a soul, bottle it up
Pour out a wretched thing.
Your eyes through me cut like a rusted knife,Your voice, it salts my newly bleeding wound,Do I belong inside your lonely life?Though you hoped I never willingly swooned,
Life sometimes can play tricks on the distracted eye. Sometimes you see the horizon but not the road ahead of you. And sometimes there is no road and you have to find your own trail.
It's sad to see, through a student's bruised eyes
How mock and torture,
Succumb their lives.
Brimming with ridicule, socially inept.
Feeling like an outcast,
Like a total reject.
You only write once
Well I think that's a lie
For writing is eternal
It will never say goodbye
My life has been a mess
Lots of stress
I'm almost done with high school
And that's my final test
Im tired. My body is sore. I lay in bed and feel like I cant take it anymore. I feel weak. Hopeless. Like no one cares. I tap my fingers on my phone, waiting for a sign. Some kind of hope. I shut my eyes and feel the dull buzz in my hand.
We sat on the steps of my eroded muck stained porch.
We contemplated our lives and our identities while sipping on unclean glasses.
We laughed at my awful past of abuse,
neglect,
and
insanity
Shattered Soul
It started one day
Out by my favorite tree.
I was so lonely, so cold
But you somehow found me.
I thought you would have listened,
I didn’t expect this change.
One heart two different worldsOne body two opposite girlsOne chose love the other hateOne chose corruption the other faithOne always tries to devise a planThe other simply follows the great I am
All my life I've been silent, Never let out a peep
Even when tumbling down hills, rough and steep
Before I cry out in pain, I hear my mother's voice
Hush! Be quiet. Don't complain
When I go to church
Because The Sound Of Voice & My Lips Were Close !
You Told Me Just Repeat "Strawberry" My Heart Beat 100 Miles per hour!
Not Knowing How and When To Say it !
Poor Child only 9years old !
Tears trace my face as I stand over this sink
I am crying again
Every lecture I get, all the expectations I don't make
I don't understand why you hurt me or make me have these scars
you always say no one cares of course i'm going to take that to heart.
your suppose to love me and take care of me but you havent been doing that lately
Knowing that I have an attraction for you makes me so upset with myself. How could I let this happen to me?
you've been here with methrough thick and thinyou knew i was hurtbefore i told you you fought my wallsgot yourself ini cant get you out nowno matter how hard i trydid not want to trust you
Founded by people who want us to succeed,
Surrounded by people who do not believe,
Hurt inside because of depression,
No emotion or impression,
Hurting others with a fist,
Bruising at no risk,
As the years escape my eyes. You try to say your final goodbye. But your hand won't leave mine. Thoughts of you fill my mind. Life without you is full of pain, no laughter, no smile just gray painful rain.
A steady rhythm,
A speedy pace,
My heart now seems to race.
A race,
A fight,
What we do in the night.
Loving, leaving,
I begin to start bleeding.
Remorce and grieving
Walking through the halls you see them everywhere, The mean girl making others feel invisible. But where, where are the teachers? The ones who should being protecting us. The ones that are supposidly our safe haven. The warmth in the sun.
He's a failure
In my class he won't survive
17 and black?
I'm surprised he's alive
He's just a stupid football player
Is that all you think I am?
Just another statistic?
Disgracing Uncle Sam?
I miss how you looked in my eyes that first night
I could not recal anything else
the way your soft skin felt on my cold hands
The blurred memory gave me a rush
I miss when we layed recalling the past
She’s kind
Though she never really says much
She smiles
Though it never really seems real
She laughs
Though she never really seems to enjoy being around
She’s here, doing what she has to do faithfully
I want to disappear I wanted to fade into the background......
I thought that losing the weight would make them like me...... They don't...
I started to get more involved in school no one seemed to notice either.....
No one knows that she still hurts-
But she keeps herself composed
hoping no one notices her flaws.
The truth has been spokenWith the words that was suppose toSet me freeBut instead hurt more feelingsThan my ownI didn't intend for this to happen
Tears like rain fill oceans of sadness;
It’s the pain that we hide – greater than we see;
I’ve spoken to broken looking for suns to soak in,
But the heart is missing
Where a soul leaves space.
Razor Blade
Dealing with depression—it’s a hard thing that I wouldn’t even wish on my worst enemy. Seriously.
Wanting to not be alive, to disappear, and to not be seen. It’s too hard to deal with.
We take baby steps forward
Then back we’ll fall
But our steps are in synch
We’re giving our all
Best friends and sisters
We float hand in hand
Down the river of life
Away from dry land
One love doesn't last longbut here is one thing it is going to be alright once a pon agogo out and find another one when you are lonely everytime you like of him or her
The dull lull of rain
On my heart wears a stain
Of all the trials and pain
On this day in the rain.
The sad rain from above
Reminds my heart of
All the times it's not loved
Floating
Leaping
Screeching
Clawing your eyes out just to
Spite you
Spite me instead
I can't live the way you want
Me to. The way you look at me
Tells me that you want me to respond.
Im making my mind up to express.
Living this way is just a mess.
Laughing at nothing
Is funny when its serious.
Im Living life to the fullest
So im a gangster.
Living is dying.
I cant say what I need to. rather I wont. caught between what was and what is. not really caught actually, rather.. stuck. in pages I haven't read yet. scenes I haven't seen yet. would you care? no.. you don't have to care.
What's wrong with your ankles?Why do they look like that?I had a roughly drawn childhoodthe brown is painted with pinkbeige splatters across the waysome white spots are seen.
You are my South Wind,
There to uplift me
There to surround me
But never to falter.
You are my Sun,
There to light my way
There to give me hope
But never to dim.
I push so hard everyday
I know it angers you so much to wake up knowing Im not with you no more to drive you crazy
I wake up too but here or not you still drive me crazy
I want to dieI want to turn away away and say goodbye There is just to much painI can barely stay in my own laneI'm falling apartI hurt in my whole body, especially in my heartI'm going to end it allI may step a little far over the edge and just f
I have left the world of Darkness,
Having stepped into the Light,
A new sensation of bliss has emerged,
A sensation having not witnessed in a thousand years,
Maybe She Would Be Alive Today. If I Spoke Up And Said What I Needed To Say. If I Thought Differently and Choose A Different Path. Crazy Thing Is I Didn’t Think She Would Last.
She screams as the light beams pushing and pushing the wall of despair.
Times of love from above is just like a dove resting on my shoulder.
Times of love, Times of love, Times of love.
Things falling apart
All around me
The world
Breaking at the seams
A rush of emotions
Like an avalanche
But yet
I feel nothing
You’re lying beside me
Smiling
Reassuring
Because all the things you've done im like this today. Hurt, numb, empty; whats lost is gone forever. Forever feeling a unsacred empty space. You took the only part of me that wasnt yours, the part of me that you havent already distroyed.
Thump Thump even steps on the floor
A rhythmic monotone inciting horror
Who is it that makes such a beaten path
Is it death or man with a thought to pass
Lost in the world around her
The kids in school call her names,
Mock her ripped clothing
No one knows the truth.
She goes home to a drunken father,
A broken mother and a missing brother,
clouds are thick, the ground grabs
It weighs you down, It tugs at you
slowly pulling slowly drawing
walking against the wind
heavy feet heavy head
forced back held back
no movement, no progress
I’ve had a target on my back since I was five.I got to the point where I didn’t want to be alive.Like other children, I just wanted to be an actress.That turned into hiding razors under my mattress.
It fools the inexperienced
and breaks the ones who aren't careful.
It's the thing we always look back to
and always look forward to.
It's strong and brutal;
Happy
yet sad.
Bullying. A subject that when comes to mind, makes me want to cry. I have been bullied. Not physically, but mentally. People telling me "shutup" or "you're stupid". I take everything to heart all of a sudden. I feel so insecure. I feel suicidal.
I came here alone, others are apparitions.
Strangers to mother's.
Opponents to father's.
Siblings are apparitions.
Friends are apparitions.
Lovers are apparitions.
The hole in my heart is deeper than the sea,
The hole in my heart is blacker than the new moon sky.
I still wish you were with me, your touch still lingers with me.
As I’m asleep I dream of me back in your arms,
I am a silver moon. You are my world. If you do not desire this gravitational pull any longer, then I shall take myself elsewhere. I can find another planet to orbit my heart around. Someone who does not consider me to be a meteor.
Cold ice stretching over a fortress of falling beams. Rolling from blue eys come the diamonds of a sad day. Once strong the brick buildings fall in a crumbling rubble of distress. In a silent room a fire is ignited.
what seems so easy
isn't to some
makes them feel queazy
terrified of whats to come
speaking in front of a variety
for a simple presentation
those who suffer social anxiety
I am like a ceramic bowl, and this bowl has many assets.Beautiful from a far, but up close you see my cuts, scars and bruises put there by all the hate and doubt of the world.
The Inner Me.
It's the soul you cannot see.
The pain, the struggles, the beating, and troubles.
I cry out for help.
Suicide thoughts.
No one there to tell me, stop.
I'm am confused at the mind.
There's a piece missing from my heartStomped on, shattered, torn apartA feeling hangs over me, the feeling of dreadFrom that moment that everything was soaked in redIt pooled around and pulled me deeper
You lay among the brokenLike a dry and wilting roseYou need someone to save youBut there's no one there who knowsYou put on a mask of happinesBut deep inside you acheYou're full of pain and suffering
Sitting, staring at the wallsWhy am I the one who always falls?In the mirror across the room I seeMy bloodshot eyes staring back at meMy eyes skim over my too pale cheeksAnd see the tears plus all their streaks
theres many ways to show love
actions speak louder than words
many people may recall the scene of pain
to overcome pain forgiveness is the key.
Holding on to that one last kiss.
Remembering what it was like to hold you like this.
My heart is slowly burning to the ground.
With the passion in the love I had found.
Your words still linger in this place.
Welcome to my world
Of lies,loniliness,hate, and depression
My world of tears and loneliness
Of fear and scars and rust-tinged razors
That smell like fresh sea water
somehow don’t satisfy me anymore.
There oncewas a boy who rode my bus,
with wide green eyes,
who sat alone...
and didn't seem to care.
There once was a boy at my school,
who was quiet
but had the most beautiful smile,
You think school is all sweet and all.
And you think teenagers like me are the generation to fall.
But you don't understand that outside those silver gates.
Life soon becomes a brawl.
The Hill That Never Sleeps
Have you heard of the hill,
That never sleeps?
We’ve been properly acquainted,
In my virtuous sheets.
Watching-your every move,
In search of flaws.
Kids may say I'm uglyKids may say I'm dumbKids may say I'm weirdSticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt meThat I'm fatThat I've pimples all over my faceThat I've got butter-teeth
So apparentlyPeople don't careHow what they sayEffects others
So apparentlyPeople don't careHow what they sayKills others
Looking around, there are smiles everywhere
The more I'm surrounded by people, the more anguish feeling of lonliness I feel
and then you realize, nobody cares and you feel as if you will never heal
It's happened to you
it's happened to me
By word of mouth
Or physically
It's an eight letter word
No body likes
That word is bullying
And it needs to cease to exist
How do I keep moving forward?
Do I strum the guitar, and keep hitting the wrong chord?
Do I let everyone push me into praying to their "Dear Lord"?
Do I use my words and make them hurt as much as a sword?
her scars itch as if they feel her pain
they want friends
more of themselves to add to her collection
it's like they can feel her bring the blade to kiss her use-to-be-smooth skin
As my heart beats to the rhythm of love and happiness;
It slips into a coma of depression,
Hidden from my laughter and smiles,
Teasing everyone who passes by.
Days pass of nothing but a drop of excitement,
I wish my life was over,
My world made of broken clovers,
Falling out of place,
going into a dark space,
filled with blood,
nothing to love...
No one can see through my facade,
Can a heart still break once it's stop beating can you believe me even though you know I am lying will you be there when I need you even though when your in need I'm never anywhere to be found when your in need will you catch me when I am
Your eyes are so stunning,
that they could cover the night sky,
and outshine the moon, and stars,
and even all the galaxys combined.
Your smile is so strong,
it rocks me to my core,
All my loving,
It’s easy to obtain.
Refrain,
Everyday is the same.
What do I have to offer when you’re gone?
I tried to tell you that I loved you all along,
I'm not bleeding it out.
There are no razors to touch my skin,
none to cut it.
Bleeding does not help.
Not like others said.
Physical pain is not a cure,
for this kind of agony.
3AM
(One Cut)
Don’t ever wake up at 3am
It’s scary enough falling asleep
Waking up out of a state of rest
Takes a lot of energy mentally
Like your mind gets tired, fatigued
Overthinking starts.
I want a ......Guy who notices my sensitivityGuy who notices my heartGuy who understands my confusion and pain and where it comes fromI want a ........guy who confident. In saying i love you day one.
First Period:
Wake up, shower, dress
Motivate, sigh, late
Again
Second Period:
English, essay, notes
Homework, due date, yawn
Tired
You can say that you're my friend.
But i know in my head, that you're not.
You can say that you're here,
But you'll just ditch me for beer
The next Saturday we have off.
You can say that you wont'.
I remember the way you told me
You loved me
That it would never be you and I
It would be we
I remember your beautiful
Smile
I remember holding hands on the beach
Walking for miles
We are all victims, persons targeted to feel pain and misery
and all that are out to slam a foot on our brakes, while driving they have stopped us
on the train tracks leaving us with what you think are only two options;
His head is low,
his eyes full of tears.
He gets upset easily,
but I know it's not anything small.
There are people laughing,
people laughing at him.
I say something,
something blunt but true.
Do you see the pain?The pain in my eyes.Do you see the hurt?Hurt buried deep in my heart.Did you search to knowKnow what I have been throughOr did you just wishI let go and never looked back?
This ol' heart of mine will never be the same
I guess I'm really the one to kind of blame
I might as well move on and let it go
Well since you're here I should probably let you know
breathe.
in...out...
in...out...
the calm rhythm of my day
undistrubed.
trigger.
sharply inhale.
remember.
"no..."
push it aside...
"focus."
I said a word
I made a friend
I am yellow
I said a word
I am in a relationship
I am pink
I said a word
I got into a fight
I am blue
I said a word
In this world I am but a man,
Crossed with confusion and stooped with dearth.
But with your love and inspiration I stand,
And rise to a vantage between Heaven and Earth.
On this podium I see crystal clear,
when i get tired (this feeling of lonliness)
i close my eyes (come meet me)
i walk through my dimly lit mind (everything is empty)
and i begin to pray (there you are)
Its was the silent kill. The infinite glare of a million eyes focused on the point of a pin. Its power could fuel a revolution, but would rather push its victims to the deepest pit of denial and thought.
I breathe.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Two easy movements.
Involuntary.
Necessary.
The difference between two ends,
Life,
Death.
Breath changes everything…
I breathe.
I like you a lot but don't know how to tell you...why can't we see eye to eye?
Set standards for each other? Everything is just so paper thin. With not enough time,
You see smiles they glisten,
There's nothing else but listen
Dark shadows, cold walls
You hide and try to ignore the calls.
You ask yourself is it worth it?
Not one bit.
People will treat you maliciously and wonder why you hate them. They will drag you down and wonder why you won't face them. When it comes to your dreams they try to stop them. But when it comes to your failures.........
He first treated you like you wore a crown.
He fucked with your mind until your smile was a permanent frown.
He convinced you as if you were the one at fault.
Like a daily dose of a wound filled with salt.
Those words go deep
as you toy with my heart and emotions
My very essence
being ripped out and examined by vermin like you
Looking for any weakness
like being too nice to speak out against the torment
Your Kiss infects me
like the flu infecting young children
it finds me
and absorbs through out my body
taking a few days to leave my system
forever i remember the 1st time
the feeling so new
I knocked on the door just to listen and see if she was home
For some time I waited, cold winds flowing past me and down my back my mind started to rome
Alone is what I began to feel but then she came to the door
A minimum amount of words were said, and time was spent together. Before we knew it. Time was over.
today the secrets outyou are beautifulthat you would ever think otherwise is a crimeyou are beautifula flower no matter the colorno matter the shapeno matter the sizeit is beautiful
i bury myself in facts organization to a faultto hide from the world,from people and fearspeople think I'm shyI'm hiding.i hide in plane site, yetnobody sees me i cry for someone to see me
Betrayal, Bruised, Left alone, No one to hold, No one to love, Blessed I’m sure, How can you be blessed? When no one loves you When someone toke your love. Forever alone. Forever apart.
A man who's life was strife by death left mights in his regrets.
Life can be a pain and with punishment they may blame,
but one thing that it gives,
its forgivness for you'r sins.
As the man shouts to death
how dare you put me in a box
labeling me because i dont fit in with the hollywood image
how dare you belittle me because im different
i rather be happy being me then being sad trying to fit in with this asshole society
I used to write poems
about the colors of your eyes
with a stomach full of butterflies.
But now I write words
about the voices in my head
and how I wish I were dead.
You used to promise
Is it my time? Is it my time to shine?Is it my time to die? On the outside I look like I’m doing just fine. On the inside, I’m trapped inside these happy lies. Is it my time? Is it my time to be free?
This disease, I wont let it get the best of me.
I'm depressed though, it's got me by the throat, how can I get free?
How can I be all I can be, if I'm missing a part of me.
On the oust side, I seem as happy as can be.
Tearful eyes. / Burning throat. / Stiffled cries, / So they don't know, / I scream inside. / I miss my home. / On my outside, / You'd never know. / I'm tired of sadness. / I'm tired of lies. / I'm tired of secrets, / That everyone hides.
Life turns to death, as the present fades to the past
Its the bleeding of pure silence...
The slow thumping of a partially broken heart..
The twinkle of a knife
Hidden by the night
We wake up early to go to bed late
Go to a place that we all hate
Have seven long hours of school
Only to go home and have four more
It is was to much for a young teen
You see im not much into historythe dictionarybut I know what the words we say mean,the words we say take affectrecalect, no respect,Like tomorrow , sorrow,we have so many things to see
Have you ever seen someone going through a anxiety attack?It's not an east to thing to witness.
Their body tenses against their willThey shake and cry with no cause or relief
Her mind flooded by judgment and oppression
Her body aching from hate
Her soul yearning to escape the cage it was forced into
She is only accelerating her fate
She is only accelerating what is intended
Silence broke out,
and she hid in fear.
Crying to herself,
hoping she wont hear.
All the voices,
that tell her that she doesn't belong.
And she keeps telling herself,
Beauty is the eyes of the beholder
That's why he always found beauty in my body
And you always saw it in my eyes
He was only looking for one thing; and liked what he saw
It’s funny how someone who was supposed to love me, never did.
It’s ironic how that a person that I never knew hurt me.
But it’s even worst that I hurt myself.
To Open Her Eyes
When I look in the mirror I see a face
The girl looking back at me is so lost
She feels lonely in a crowded room
But is suffocating in her mind
What do I do to make her smile
Silent, empty, lonely, hated
(Sitting in a classroom, smiling vaguely)
Muffled, lost, self-sedated
(Top grade in the class! Congratulations, be proud!)
Can't think, breathe, feel my way
Why do people bully so much.
why did they put people down.
why do they want us to suffer as much as they did.
I think bullying should be stopped.
you will never know who will get popped.
Teachers will teach.
Students will learn.
But, the way teachers teach, is the students concern.
They rely on their education to make them great.
I like how the cereal screams in terror as I put the little guys in my mouth
Mmh how sweet, cereal blood between my teeth
Snap Crackle Pop! goes the bones of the breakfast mom bought
Every day seems somber.
I look away and
as I walk to school
I can feel myself removed.
I watch myself sit there in class
I watch myself write
I watch myself get through it
I didn't know before how to light a candleTo set by the picture of us on the mantleThere was no flame to light the wayThere was no night to darken the dayThe monsters came to devour the heart
Tears roll down her face as she sees her lover with someone else
Disgusted she feels
She wishes she was someone else
The anger inside from the lies he told
Disrespected from his actions
He is so bold
My mind is depraved. A sarcastic fringehead, erasing my thoughts faster than they can swim. Breathing in water, my lungs fill with salted froth. I bite my tongue and an acrid brine pervades the void.
How can you claim to "love" someone when all you do is hurt them ? What is "Love" ? People say its a big word with so much meaning... Everyone who said they "love" me, all ended up hurting me.
To the lost, the forgotten, the outcasts, to all those who feel hopeless and alone. This cruel, sick, and twisted world you live in has made you think the unthinkable and speak the unspeakable.
It all started on the first day of school,
not passing the rule.
No one coming to my aid,
on my shoulders the cruel words laid.
Then came middle school,
people even more cruel.
I was a fool,
Kids walking down the hallway
with they're heads hanging down.
Because they just got teased,
about they're hair, clothes, or laugh.
Kids just walking with agony,
wondering when this is going to stop.
Kids walking down the hallway
with they're heads hanging down.
Because they just got teased,
about they're hair, clothes, or laugh.
Kids just walking with agony,
wondering when this is going to stop.
I do not like that.
The weird place.
The odd shape.
The abnormality.
I do not like much.
Not what I see.
Not how I see it.
Not much at all.
"But this is okay."
They point out.
My heart was once so open
So innocent and free
I shared it with the world
For the world enamored me
Walking Through The Halls, Every one Stops and Stares, Laughing and Teasing, I Drop To My Knees With These Tears, Frickled Face, Old School Clothes, But Poverty Struck My Family, I Guess Noone Cool Knows, The Way I Talk, How My Glasses Look, How M
Keep your head up in the halls
It's only a hop, skip and jump away
Ignore the people and what they say
Stay away from those bathroom stalls
You're here safe and sound
Crack open your book
My teacher
Waves her hands
Towards the board like my attention
Should be focused on adjectives and verbs
She placed me next to the smelly kid
And the girl who always makes fun of me
I stare outside
To overcome? You have no idea. The dark is suffocating. The pain is allocating. Try to make it stop. It's not enough. It keeps coming, and coming, and coming. Looking up, praying for better. Why me?
She sat on the porch as she wiped her tears.
Put on the same brave face, the same face shes done for years.
Now she never lets her guard down,and make sure shes always in control.
Well I’ve come to tell you a story.
I gotta warn you, it’s probably not a happy story.
I gotta warn you, it’s probably not even a good story.
But I think it’s probably a true story,
and that’s good enough for me;
Why do you pretend you're happy? With that fake smile on your face, pretending everythings perfect. You go home and cry... Because you're living a lie. With tears rolling down your face, you say you're okay.
Tell me you love me because you want me in your lifeTell me you love me because you mean it from your heart
Tell me you love me because it's written all over your face
After the storm comes a rainbow,
I have been threw that storm but don't know where to go,
where is my rainbow.
I need to feel the calm that comes after the storm,
for it's the only way to reassure my self.
It’s strange.
This feeling.
This heart felt feeling…
Sigh… not again.
Could I… could I really?
No, no, no! I’m not!
I’m probably just sick.
Yeah! Just sick…
Damn, who am I kidding?
Death is opportunity
Life is the challenge.
Opportunity to relapse
Challenge to stay above.
Opportunity to give up
Challenge to remain on track.
I am a survivor.
I cant go on with this pain on my chest
It's like a bolder with its final place of rest
Theres been no greater sin
Than keeping this all locked in
You've thrown me and shunned me
The strive you have to have to do your dreams ,
While the dollar bill appears and disappears in your wallet,
The scheme, yeah they get you ,
Raise you up then they forget you or have you forgot yourself?
I shatter mirrors relentlessly thinking ''what more bad luck is there in the world,
than the bad luck I serve every day.'' Bad luck is my parasite, It consumes my little bit
I need my space.
It'a silly thing, this love thing.
Comes around, rebounds, till the ground hits your face.
Don't chase.
Break your neck left and right like you're crossing the street,
Another white tee
Tie dyed in four shades of red
Out of the twelve you’ve already encountered
Bleach will do no good this time
Neither will a Band-Aid
You never have to worry about people getting in your way
Cast over me, a sheet of confusion and foolishness, and yet it took more than one rude awakening in my life to help pull this sheet off my head but I still wonder why do so many tragedies had to come for me to finally understand a part of life.
Crying in the snow will do no good
The tears you cry will never come out
As the touch of blood feels like snow
The animal that lived before you must move on
Letting go is sometimes the only choice for us
I remember one time
Someone said to me,
"What? Were you emo or something?"
And they laughed.
And I laughed,
But I didn't say anything.
To me, it's not funny.
That rusty blade
DEPRESSION
Depression is like the color black, and is darker than the dimmest parts of space.
It sounds like thousands of screams echoing in your ear, and bashing at your eardrum.
Mother I forgive you for you know not what you do
Call me a zero in hopes it'll motivate me to avoid the bar stool
Most men live there life defining and executing functions
I have yet to define a single variable
Every person has their own bible,
whether it be a cookbook, Gods word,
or your old copy of "Alice in Wonderland"
everyones is different, and helps them in different ways.
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I can't help but feel like there is a hole in my chest I keep searching for something that cant be found until I hear a voice saying "Turn Around" When I looked I couldn't believe just what I saw
When I looked I couldn't believe just what I saw I saw a man Sitting on his throne With my mind blown I fall to my knees Screaming out "LORD HELP ME PLEASE" He says "Son what you're looking for isn't on this EarthBut if you can trust me you wil
Laughter is healing for my soul,
thats the medicine I have chose.
Needless to say I'm okay,
afterall I did laugh today!
Wondering why I may be depressed?
Half the time I'm super stressed,
We are young.
We are strong.
We are capable of anything.
Sometimes we are wrong.
Colorless and yet so colorful. Madness but mostly wonderful..
Jugular venous pressure is estimated by positioning
A patient’s head at a 45-degree angle.
When the veins in the neck
Are swollen as high as the angle of the jaw,
Blood pressure rises.
Maybe,The whispers will overwhelmThat beautiful mind of yoursThey'll pull, rip to shredsThese worries in your headInsecurities you didn't knowPlagued you.So convinced that they know
There was a place and timeDon't ever go back to thenIt is just filled of memoriesAnd sadnessOf people who don'tRemember you, andPeople whom you wish to forgetYou've visited your past
A leaf upon the pond, drifting along,
No wiser to the water below than the sky above,
The wind blows it goes,
No control of here or there,
As the day unravels the weather above eats away,
I'm just a typical teenage girl, but I still struggle.
My thoughts engulf me. I wish I could escape.
The girl you assume you know is probably fake.
I'm a prisoner, one of love. Women an men both abuse love. I give my love out freely an
passionatly. My heart lays crumpled on the floor, weeping blood. It's on the floor because
Dark and despair in the air
Tame those people who want to swear
Make them believe in something else
But keep it close to them like belts
Help them decide to take a better path
In, out
Right, left
Yes, no
Go through the motions.
What if you can't?
The walls are caving,
The ground is shaking,
The world seems to be falling apart.
There once was a girl who could never stop crying,
who had so much pain she envied the dying
Her eyes were red as a recent cut's splatter,
but she could never stop crying, so it didn't matter
you are
the thornless rose that grew amongst the baobab of my ribs
roots that wrapped around my lungs
leaving me breathless and blue
i am content
At first it started
Something like a joke or a game
but I soon found out
that the true winner
was brought to shame
for the first few seconds
everything was cool
Hand over brow, sweeping
horizon
over and over to find
something new.
Head over heals, falling
in circles,
don't even realize you don't
have to look.
You do have to lose.
Education is spoiled by the rotting brains
Disseminating by the television cell membranes
As learning decreases
Society let's ignorant fame and material things sink in
Getting rich quick is more motivation
Silent aspirations call from the cracks
Of motionless stone slabs.
Within every drop of rain, another drop of blood.
Stretch, pull, stretch, pull,
Exhale.
Knuckles scratch against concrete that
I am Yin and he is YangI bring peace but he brings painI am pure, while he is corruptedI am collected while he is disruptive
You thought you could take me
You thought you could break me
All the things you said
The things you wished would go to my head
Congrats
-She walked along the darkness of it all. That was it. The darkness, it seemed like she was blind walking without seeing anything around her. The Abyss.
Sometimes life likes to screw you overWhy can't we just live and let live?Horrible parents, a cheating loverEveryone takes what you have to give
Her neck cranes skywards, they are there, beyond the haze and mist of a day long since past. They are there and she will bring them forth. So many times, so often she has searched the endless abyss of the sky for answers.
Hey dads,
yeah
not dad, but dads.
Although I should call one "the guy who didn't want me"
and the other "the step-father who left the family",
both of you are still my father.
Time elapses where the world was spinning,
the spinning stops,
the world collapses
Collapsing and falling we all break silently
in the spot that counts
soft, red tissue unmeasured
Upon your rest I give you strength
To hold on tight for one more length
And in this night I take your sorrow
To give you hope for a new tomorrow
So take my hand and hold it close
Can you see her?
can you see the acid rain falls from the skys,
every time she crys?
She walks through life with her head held high,
The blue moon is the theif
that comes to steal
all of those things
that makes us feel-
feel those things
that keep us true
blue moon can only
keep us blue
so recognize-when he comes
They say make love, not war
But there’s always a constant battle
With my heart
I’m always fighting for another
And with every battle
I grow weaker
Losing soldiers, losing power
You call me fat ,
you try to demean my character ..,
why do you follow me home ... When all you do is laugh.....
if you feel so much dislike for me. Take a step back and ...
Will anyone finally understand the pain,
the one in my heart?
For so long I kept it there,
but to what end?
Spinning,
Whirling,
Flailing,
Falling,
Dizzy,
No where to turn.
Distant,
I'm alone, with everyone around me,
Drifting like drift wood,
In a mind boggling sea
its funny almost, how easily you can lose yourself
but how it difficult it is to find yourself again
how you can go from being completely in the now minute
Cothurnus is defined
by the pain of our past,
the weight of our world
and the anguish of our eyes.
We, who have been hurt,
relish the notion of rest.
Where wounds can heal
and I only have
the sound of
your footsteps
committed to memory.
because the only
memory I have of you
is the one of you walking away.
Miss that girl, she used to always smile
She loved talking to her friend and hanging out
She loved to smile
Loved to talk
I do not understand what is wrong
She cries herself to sleep
"What shall I say
Whether or not be truthful
Or bask and in my sorrows all day.
What shall I say?
Sometimes a piercing gaze puts the pain back
And I shut it away.
What shall I say?
Bland.
Broke.
Hopeless.
Pain beyond understanding.
It cries out to be fed.
But, the truth is
the food is gone.
Without you here
makes me dead,
makes me want to die.
(For full effect, listen to 40 Part Motet- Spem in Alium by Thomas Tallis)
Today I was anxious and in a rumble,
but I tried to stay positive and not stumble.
I looked out the window and saw the blues, the grays, whites and greens,
The past,
the present, loom together to torture.
I can't even seem to remember,
or even able to consider, the future.
Everything is wrapped together in a maze,
the past, present, future, it's all the same.
I thought my first love will be my last
I thought its you that I belong to
But now, what I once thought remains as thoughts
For you are now waiving goodbye.
All your smiles are for me
Never give up,
Always look up.
Strength and courage are all within you.
All the light is inside of you.
Never let anyone bring you down,
Never let anyone make you drown
In this world full of obstacles,
Behind the door there is another lie
With these two I don’t even get a break
Having to deal with these two until I cry
Staying there will be another mistake
Was walking away, forgetting it all
Angel, oh angel,Why have you forsaken me,Cast me out for nothing,Thrown me to the ravenges of the dark?All this pain,All this torture,For a simple change in thought?Do you know not what I feel,
We have forgotten,
Summer’s last innocence at
Sunset,
How the colors melt into
Oranges and
Yellows and
Purples…
And that faint breeze
That
Used to tell us
We were forgiven.
It’s 3am and I can hear myself breathing but I’m questioning the breaths.
What if I told you that I’m not really here?
I am just a blurry vision in the mirror where I slice my wrists and hold them up to God.
Why I write
all we did was make eye contact.
but in that instant
between my blink and her smile
These are the times we live in.
This is the day I see.
The sky is cloudy and gloomy,
But the clouds will not defeat me.
The struggles threaten to smother,
My strength is growing weak.
She enters the setting,
With a mindset cluttered in utter agony,
But her beaming grin seems so effortless,
Despite the distress staining her heart and soul,
Dreaming is what got me here.
I used to dream that all the power would be in my hands,
but here I am pressed against the ceiling
this cement ceiling.
You fed me words
that made me hunger,
The loons call in the night,
spreading my heart open.
Scarred feet slide across the tile floor,
slipping away in her nightgown.
Down the newly wet grass gateway,
advancing into the shocking water.
Born into a world were it’s not guaranteed I’ll succeed.
I still reach high, breaking stereotypes as I go.
I graduated from High School; I am in college.
What else is there left to achieve?
As I sit and think… LIFE.
A thud
A bang
A walk to a room
A mother in pain
A father drunk with machismo
A son with fear and hate in his heart
A threat against a life
A broken family
A time to take charge
Dark brown eyes with a personality that brightens any gloomy situation
No one can pronounce the name but remembers the face and the smile
Dear Son,
Recognize your power, strength, and courage.
You have the drive and the power to achieve great things.
And then there is power ascribed to you.
Before my known days
The sun shone splintering rays of diamonds
With gorgeous scenery to complement
Bliss was rampant
Faith out-lasted
And dreams materialized into obtainable goals
But yet
Why do I write?
Ha
Why do you breathe? Why do fish swim? Why do plants photosynthesize?
Writing to me is not only a way to express myself,
but
a suicide prevention plan,
an escape from reality,
Why do I write?
Ha
Why do you breathe? Why do fish swim? Why do plants photosynthesize?
Writing to me is not only a way to express myself,
but
a suicide prevention plan,
an escape from reality,
Painful memories my heart storesLooking for a way through these doorsFinding my way back into the lightUsing up all of my mightBut when the darkness is backAll I see is black
Two Weeks:
Two Weeks
Two Weeks too long
Two Weeks dragged on
Two Weeks ended wrong
Two Weeks long gone
Two Weeks
Who would have thought it’d end this way. The crows flying above and the people screaming out of love. The car came out of thin air it seems.
When you look at life as an Ocean, you will suddenly start sinking.
You see the beauty all around, as you struggle to keep breathing.
Your lungs are full of water, the oxygen is depleting.
I dont want the scars
to represent the weakeness
I aquired.
I dont want them
to be a false representation.
They do not define
who I am.
They should not tell you
The abandonment that I have experienced,
no other should feel.
Enjoy your family, if not for you.
Do it for the peole like me.
People who have no mother to say "I love you".
The rigor of staying sane is
hard to steady, especially
when the rain falls harder
for those minds not ready.
Fight through the pain now
Don't give in to the night.
Take your last breath while standing
Let strength be your fight.
(chorus)
Lock-down 'cuz we're loesing ground
In the last day where the line is drawn in blood,
We choose our sides And fight for those we love
(chorus)
If you'd only known that this is why we stand
Then you'd free yourself And join the last of man
One night I feel the falling rain
Drowning out the moonlit night.
Gloomy thoughts of fierce betrayal
Linger on my mind.
(Shadow Dance)
Hallucinations of my pride
Give me the strength to fall.
Cold steel touches warm skin.
This time I hope the blade wins...
Sharp edge touches bare skin.
The slice feels like nothing more than the prick of a pin...
Drop by drop crimson appears...
An Unexpected Therapist
I wrote because of a snake that slithered through my vessels,
Wound around my lungs and constricted,
Sank fangs into my heart and
Exchanged venom for life.
When you see a pretty face
When you see a shining smile
Does everyone see that same thing?
When some one is crying blood
People think me strong. I know that I am weak. People think me wise. I know that I am foolish. People think me happy. I know that despair has taken over my life. People think they know. They have no idea. They don't know my mistakes.
I am the hollow woman
My merry mechanism failed
Left with so much opposition
from other's emotions that are stale
My normal state is empty
but my capacity half the world
I took on that responsibility
Ever since I was young, my mom always said what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. But what if it does?
Hopes and fears, lies and tears.
I do not want to feel like a failure anymore, I am sorry I most go on.
I left you behind because you were no good for me; now you are back and I do not want you here.
There's beauty in the soul
If you gaze real deep
There's hope in the veins
That keep the hearts beat
There imagination painting
Blurred dreams behind the eyes
I open my eyes and feel the morning sun graze my skin and I smile. "Its a brand new day", I tell myself. Everything is okay...
Normal is Boring
Doing the Same Routine Daily
Everybody dresses the same
Its like playing an old game of Follow the Leader
One that never ends
We all go this way
Or that way
Poetry is self expression. No guidlines, no rules.
Noone to tell you, "you're doing it wronge" or "you have to do this too."
Poetry doesn't have to rhyme, have 10 beats, or eight lines.
Watching stains on the sidewalk..
Listening to the birds talk,
- Mind's Gone.
No one with the words to say..
or listen to the words I say,
- I'm Alone.
Soft whispers of those who hate..
Wake up feeling tired
What a slumpy day
Want to get the myself going
But stays in bed all day
Hate to see that happen
But it happens anyways
Sometimes going through depression is what makes a person
It gives a glimpse of reality
A vision with everlasting loneliness and destroyed self-image
This emotion holds one hostage
I entered a new place
It was different and scary
I was afraid of it
I didn’t know what would happen
I knew most
But also knew none
There were those who knew me
When I didn’t know myself
Hey Dylan,
I’ve been here for you for a while now.
But for 19 years straight, you’ve been nothing but a villain.
Your love toward me, you disavow.
I didn’t do anything to deserve this.
With each puff,
Keep going, keep pushing; but in what direction?
Everyone out here is trying to teach a lesson
You can't teach those who have already been taught what you're trying to teach
I see my soul soaring,
Flying like an eagle,
They try to tie me down,
Where I cannot be free.
Fire, light, inhale.
Breathe, obsorb the poison.
Deep breath, obsorb the smoke.
Feel The Addiction Take Over.
Breathe, obsorb the pain.
Deep breathe, obsorb the cancer.
Feel The Addiction Take Over.
Oh when the drugs wear out and the crash kicks in
painful glares pierce through yout thick skin
and it all comes down to who you are with in
not who you try to be, just to fit in
I paid for my sins with a couple our fathers
Five Hail Mary’s and I didn’t even bother
Wrapping up the prayer coz I didn’t see the point
Church congregation I reluctantly joined
They don't kow the tears I cry,
They don't know the life I have,
I have wings and I can fly,
Going by my own path.
I seem weak,
But I am strong,
Very sweetly meek,
But not for long.
Expectation is experience laced with arrogance.
I would be lying to you if I told you that I expected this.
Because of this, the impact was cushioned by a pathetic surrender to a philosophy of acceptance.
Small but poisonous,
Black but rimmed with green
Envy and red
Rage,
Darts are thrown with
Deadly accuracy
They pinpoint their target,
Puncturing the peachy flesh and
Exploding upon impact.
He laid there in his bed
Motionless, clinging to life by one single thread
His memories reflecting through his eyes
If only he had the chance to give one last goodbye
So tired and broken, frail and worn out
We exist only behind the words we speak.
Standing at this distance, we forever reach.
We swallow the affinity because we know deep down it can never be.
We put the dreams to rest and embrace the reality we live in.
Maybe you do not understand that the past is in the past, yet I am still chained to it.
Maybe you do not understand that every time someone mentions that theme I cringe.
I find myself here again,
Stuck in this same place again.
Surroundings so familiar,
Foreign visions in the mirror.
How did I get here?
I thought I’d sworn to never return.
In my mind I’d made it so clear,
The patriarchy
Self-congratulatory
of its own bias.
The working women
Polishing her glass ceiling
weeps for potential.
The conservatives
attack her choice as murder
But her life counts too.
I stand utterly bruised,
not defeated, just bruised.
I've come into battle with the conflict of words,
the conflict of unjust actions, and recently
in war with you.
I've taken your arrows, your bombs, and
I was always being swept away by the current, it hit me hard. Crushed my lungs, bruised my skin, bloodied my face and body.
I was always being swept away by the current, it hit me hard. Crushed my lungs, bruised my skin, bloodied my face and body. I never understood why.
She used to be an innocent girl
But the devil has changed her
Staring in a mirror
The reflection is a stranger
She yells out to God
With tears running down her cheek
Praying to become strong
Tough to live through, it truly is
Involves many of America’s kids,
Maybe a friend, maybe a foe
The sad thing is we will never know,
Once a friend now turned to dust
Bullying begins, friendship rusts,
When winter storms bring snow and ice and springs face hides beneath
And life is draped in cold regret where jealousy sinks its teeth
The road is dark and rough, though often traversed by those
It's funny,
when people ask you if you're sad
and you just smile,
and say "no",
and they walk away, satisfied,
Thinking that they were mistaken
That they misread the moment
of pain,
depression,
When you hear the story of ignorance think of me
For I’ve been here for as long as the Earth been to existence
I’ve been here when God was creating the universe
I’ve ask god to create human because of bored-some
my reality.
day by day you tell me what i can do
we do not have the same mentality
but if you only knew what i go through
have a seat
ill tell you my story
ill read off this sheet
but dont you worry
Everyday the same routine
Time passes
Is this really the life I dreamed
I wanna be
Spontanious
Active
Free
There eyes
Judging
Turn around
Don't look at me
My personality
Pain you're the dark, grey, cloud that covers the sun, and what takes light away All that you have left me with is this cold, bare, lonely darkness You're the one who causes all of my suffering You're the cause of the river I have created with all
Facebook asking me to write something
Asking God to leak inspiration from my veins
Open the floodgates of Heaven and pour out my pain
It pains me, that I am not living to my full potential
Disease is the reason
For the loss of my loved ones,
And possibly the future
Loss of others.
Today is the day for change,
Eyes up, Signs high,
Voices loud,
Jim Crowe has no hold anymore,
Chains are crumbling,
This is a revolution,
We are more than 3/5 of a man,
We are human,
Tears streaming down these tired eyes,
But I ain't afraid no more.
I cannot stop all your lies,
But I ain't afraid no more.
Look at the sky,
It’s pure and white.
Nothing compared to my soul
That’s neglected and dark.
The trees stand tall,
Branching out far
Nothing compared to my soul
That slums down,
A door opens
Empty of memory
Cold, Dark, Eerie
Depression creeps in
Sadness takes over
The walls drooping with pain
Crying tears of blood
No acceptance from reality
Pain has overcame pleasure
Delicate features, slight stature.
That is who she is.
Shy, unassuming, ignored,
She dances on the air, moves like a ballerina.
Twirling, twirling, twirling,
One wrong move could send her falling.
I’m done
Yet I can’t quite grasp it
Why something like this would happen to me
How could something like this happen to me
That trust I built has just been destroyed
I’ve never been this broken before
Whatever happened to the flowers?
The water lilies and poppies and marigolds,
With their dewy stalks and folds?
I don't know who I am
The white in my life blew out
I don't know where I stand
At thirteen my soul was left in doubt
The only white
The purity
The innocence... of me
Taken in the dark
Stop and stare.
Who goes there?
Not a pal or a friend.
Maybe a foe or a fiend.
Can you see her?
Or maybe its a him?
Duck! And Dodge!
Close one my friend.
Don't fight back.
It hurts like the sting of ice and cold.
It hurts cause I know that's what's like your soul.
It hurts because you forced me to believe the words you say.
It hurts to think how can I manage another day.
You’re words, they hurt.
If I cry, it’ll make things worse.
You keep playing games.
I don’t think they’re fun.
The rumors, they haunt me.
There’s nowhere to run.
That’s how I used to feel.
Looking in the mirror
Sadness stains her face.
Red lines cover her, making feelings fade.
They call her names.
The torment her.
The wall she has built is breaking.
She goes home to a world too adult.
