Underwater it seems

I live my life today.

There is no escape from the thoughts I call my own,

The fear, the shaking, the future unknown

My body reacts without control 

There is no end in sight.

I hate

the feelings no one knows but me.

Self help and medications

abound but none works of late.

Looking to the future's bleak and dark and filled with pain.

I yearn for the calm that fills my dreams

My heart shakes in rythmic dance

to fill the noise in my ears

I hate

tomorrow's just another fear filled fate.