To the ruthless killer that changed my life,

 

I hate you for all that you have done, for the five bullets that took taking away a loved one. Although I was too young to cherish her, at two years old no one is too young to miss or feel loss.

 

I hate you for taking away that someone who was a mother to some, a sister to a few, a daughter to two, and a wife to one. But to me she was the aunt I will only remember in pictures.

 

I hate you for your corrupt, greedy and merciless ways. How could you threaten an innocent family?

 

I hate you for making my father identify her body. I hate you for calling him and telling him to leave his life behind, just because you felt like it ….

 

I hate you for turning our lives upside down, for making us sleep in a one-bedroom apartment, for making my dad work three jobs, for making my mom work night shifts.

 

I hate you for stealing life we had, the comfort we had, the joy we had, the security we had, and the faith we had. You are a thief that deserves to be punished but never will be, and I hate you all the more for that.

 

I hate you for hurting my family. You left a good man without a wife, good children without a mother, and a mother without her daughter. And after that you still had the audacity to keep hurting us by sending us away.

 

But how am I supposed to hate you when the one who should hate me loves me unconditionally, and instead tells me to love my enemies?

 

I can no longer hate you because that makes me just as despicable as you, so, I guess instead I will forgive and love you …

 

I will love you for testing my family’s faith and resilience. You made us strong and unbreakable and ready to face whatever is next.

 

I will love you for teaching a widowed husband and two motherless children to trust in God’s purpose. No matter how much they could have blamed God, it was not his fault but only yours.

 

I will love you for bringing my family to this opportunistic country where my sister and I receive an unparalleled and incomparable education. Because of your inhumanity and cruelty, I now have a bright and promising future.

 

I will love you for teaching us that there is a God who loves and watches over my family. No one would have ever expected to see my dad as an Engineer in a large firm or my mother as a registrar at a top tier school.

 

I will love you for bringing us to a better life. We have a home, an adorable dog, food, cars and more than we could ever hope for.

 

I will love you for teaching me that there is evil in the world. That there is such thing as too innocent. These are priceless lessons I will never forget. 

 

I will love you for because although I think I am better than you, God loves us just the same and despite your immorality, he does love you. 

 

I will love you for all that you have done and as much as I blame you for Marta Isabel’s death without you who knows where we would be …

 

All I have left is to hope you forgive yourself one day and can find peace to live out a good life because after all the pain that you caused has washed away, there is happiness and strength.

 

I wish you all the best Mr. Killer.

 

Sincerely, 

the 2 year old girl whose life you forever changed