the core

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 02:47 -- amm165

Location

What's wrong with your ankles?
Why do they look like that?
I had a roughly drawn childhood
the brown is painted with pink
beige splatters across the way
some white spots are seen.

What's wrong with your ankles?
Why do you have those scars?
You see, I had no friends
I was the girl who was contaminated
because of her skin
I was alone trying to reconstruct,
attempting mastery of myself.

What's wrong with your ankles?
Why are they all marked up?
I had to control the pain
it started with my nails
progressed to thumbtacks 
compasses were sharp too
it was like I was digging
searching for something to make me like-able.

What's wrong with your ankles?
Why is the skin discolored?
I had to dig for it
white is pure
never found that purity
only the positive, oh positve
except it felt like the oppisite
because biracial blood was not beautiful
it was contaminated.

What's wrong with your ankles?
It's excema.

What's wrong with your ankles?
It's birthmarks.

What's wrong with your ankles?
I lie and I lie and I lie;

because no one really wants to know why,
no one cares that an eight year old girl wanted to die,
so she cut up her ankles and tried to control it,
inficting pain to herself because she was lonely,
then pulling up those socks to hide it the next day,
and for sixteen years socks hid those scars perfectly.

Then she grew up
and took off those damn socks
and people saw 
and asked
what's wrong with your ankles?

And I could try to explain it
I have tried to explain it
I could tell my life story
my sob story
my "wo is me" poor little girl story
but I am tired of the artificial sympathy
the close minded understanding.

And in actuality there is only one real answer,

there is nothing fucking wrong with my ankles.
There is something wrong with this world.

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