Father
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I hear it
it's calling on me
i feel it
it's been telling on me
how loving
the Father's been
as to us all
His son He gave
If my mother truly knew best,
then why is it that my father is here
and not her?
You keep telling me that I should trust in my mother,
BUT the second I do,
it gets thrown back in my face, ten-fold.
I’m pinning my hair back so I can work and suddenly
I’m
6 years old
Doing my hair so daddy will love me again
(She knows that he hasn’t loved her since the day she was born)
I’m
Dear Dad,
I don't even know where to start.
You're still alive, but I feel like you have been gone for a long time.
I miss who you were when you didn't drink, I hardly remember that person anymore.
I hate him in all his glory but hell he’s improving
There’s a reason i nicknamed him the good o’l asshole
Hell i'm planning a tattoo dedicated to him
I remember the pizza place
I will not write you an apology or a eulogy or even a love poem
I will not write you a thank you note or a permission slip or ever an obituary.
I will apologize when I am sorry
And I am not sorry
God has sent the Angels near
closest to the one that fears
even though you are alone
resting due to casted stones
a light nearby will slowly heal
your broken soul, so well concealed
Walking at dawn through the city without a recent map seems strange.
The streets have been renamed until all the dead heroes have been used up;
roads, alleyways, streets
Rare times, I think of you
Time goes by.
Less I long to see you
Days turned into months
Months turned into years
No longer do I shed tears
You seem to be okay.
I am okay too.
Just a Man
You may be just a man, but when you're before me
Your skin is marbled, your eyes are broken and jeweled
For your brokenness that clings to me
In my openness so ceaselessly
Relaying all the meanings, forever afraid
Today my life changed forever
For the better
I became a father to a beautiful daughter
I come now to you my brother
PAPA
I felt you weeping today. As you listen to the song
that life has given you to play....
The colors of the dayHave drifted away
From bright yellow, pale blue and pink.
...(I needa) Free my Mind, Find Some Time, (And) Take a Breath of Fresh Air, (A Space) Away from this Place, (And) Nothing to Follow Me There.
The needles on the wall clock with the ticking sound
Pulverizing my soul, making my heart pound
Every audible gasp ensuing the other one
A blink of eye that snatched my reason
- They say,
"In due time you'll be alright", "just stay patient".
So Heavenly Father I'm reaching out - This life's got me pacin'.
Not knowing which way to go, with either road - I never make it.
It has been two years today
Since I have had a fight with my then girlfriend
And, crying bitterly, I entered the living room
Replied to my father’s concerns
And let him know his daughter was dating a girl.
He sits.
Slightly stooped posture
Slow and limited movement
He watches.
Decrease in visual acuity
Diminished peripheral vision
He listens.
Hearing loss
My dad was murdered, it occured when I was seven, to him it was a filler but to me
heroin is a killer. After he was gone, I went to, I managed to lie even as I cried.In a
I cried for you to hold me
But you took your arms away
I said I wanted to be alone
While praying that you would stay
Stepped upon the highest ledge
Hoping it would give way
you love me.you love me.you love me?
love is a broken boomerangheavy from despiratation.and of course it would be,what could possibly reach my expectations?
“Good night you two, I love you.
You can stay up,
Just promise me you’ll stay in your room, okay?”
Father said
Dear Father,
You were there for my birth
At least I think you were
But that’s about it
You saw me growing up
But I would rarely see you
This is just to say
I do not want
to see you again,
for you suck
as a “quote” father
this you’ll never
admit, but the
I believe that you appreciate me
I believe that you will love me unconditionally
I believe that you will love me without regrets
I believe that you raised me the best way you can
Please forgive what I say next,
but after you are gone
I will burn the memories of you at the stake
and choke on their smoke like the tobacco rings of your cigars.
We were about to move
again
And he said we needed to paint the garage
He didn’t explain why
but he never does
Words
Words
Words
Words
They never get through,
we've try to speak our pain
but it doesn't matter to you
Words
Words
I still remember in vivid detail the first time my father made me bleed. It was a cold November evening and we had just finished dinner. I was all dressed up in my golden basketball jersey ready for a game.
The first time I saw my father cry
we were on the side of the road
the flip phone landed in his lap
from the back seat, I watched his shoulders shake
The second time I saw my father cry
in May I cut
my hair as short
as I dared
and stood before
you with bared
neck. and then
suddenly
I didn't anymore resemble
the little girl who sat on your lap,
looking up,
The days were unnumbered, nobody cared,
Once a child I had nothing to fear,
The years that passed were something I had beared,
What love is not
Love is not cynical
Love is not unkind
Love is not controlling
Love is not blind
Love does not harm
Love does not boast
revised from Daddy's Little Girl
I remember the little girl she used to be
in her bright tutus and soft-footed slippers.
My evil stepmother and I became lovers and we killed my dad.We did it so that we could get all of the money that he had.We were greedy and we made sure that Dad would Rest in Peace.
He's gone.
My number one support system.
My everyday hero,
He's been taken for granted.
He fixes our uniforms without being asked.
I need him, he'll be there in 5.
my father used to tell me
i would never get anywhere in life
never would he tell me
that he believed i could be successful
he would always exclaim
March 1997.
A 32-year old Pakistani man leaves his village, wife, and young son in Gujrat, Punjab
He went to New York even though the distance made his heart throb
I sit in a cold dark room
Out of nowhere the sunflower appears
I can hear the song play in the back of my head
Tears slide down my frozen face
I walk up to the lonely flower
I remember the little girl she used to be
in her bright tutus and soft-footed slippers.
She would stand on my feet as we waltzed,
which I couldn't do as well as I pretended.
I would like to look at the sky, but the starsopen my blood and disturbthe verses on the mouths of the dead:
A Father is a Man of Bravery
A Man who's courage is unwavering,
A Man who's never caught quavering
A Parent is an Example of Righteousness
An Example to his sons and daughter,
Ripple
September 10, 2018 ~ Monday
Daddy
Hello, you who held me when I was just a baby
To you, who watched me
Swathed and bottle fed me
I call him Shifu
As he is my instructor.
And yet, he is much more than that.
He is my inspiration,
And my motivator.
He is my biggest fan,
He taught me math, the hallowed path, My tutor, since Grade 1, Taught too to dare in Science Fairs, Good many have I won. Taught me to write, with words ignite, Use sparks to start a flame, When arguing your argument, Must words an insight fr
Taking the things I love
For me being naught but a fool
For I was too young
Not knowing the realities of this world
But stuck in my own world
The world is a wolf, snatching innocence and feeding on the shortcomings of others.
A child with mindless ignorance enters the woods; a blank slate.
They look upon the faces of those around them, observing and repeating.
I never knew the path I followed, I never knew how close I'd walk,
I never knew my life was broken, I never knew my dad was not
Taught me how to be myself, taught me how to read and talk
Just as the wind directs the sea,
My father directs me.
For so long, he went unnoticed
Yet he stayed so devoted.
Never did he waver
Your hand were much bigger than mine
in my first memory of you grasping them.
My hands weren't even as big as your palm.
You had a laugh that still rattles my insides.
I think of it when I feel alone.
You choose to love someone
My father once told me
It's not an instant thing
You choose to love
and look past the flaws and failures
My father once told me
You love in spite of, not because of
I remeber growing up as your baby cub.
You taught me how to care for myself incase you were not there.
Well now you are not here and I am still a lost cub.
Dutiful, disciplined, dependable dad.
How happy to have had:
teacher, trainer, tactful taskperson.
Listening to lectures, leaning, learnin',
sometimes snubbing,
I've learned so much; thanks for loving.
The General looked as the ground shook.
No panic as we knew what is coming
Face the enemy, the finest and cunning
We use the silence for our drumming.
Facts as spears, logic bombards the rear
Your eyebrows pinch together
when you're angry.
I always ask: "Are you angry?"
And you say no.
You always say no.
Maybe, instead, you're frustrated
because you always dream too big.
O you of strong shoulders
Hands quaking, aching to hold boulders
In place of warm hands and hot meals
Your hoe carving furrows
Sending a message, it burrows
Deep into my heart.
It was just the fall of October when the skies were still sleepy
The sun had pulled its blankets, yet the naked trees looked creepy
Amongst the golden rays lies a mysterious yet recognizable shadow
You weren’t there when I needed you.
Your selfish ways were rude.
Your priorities were skewed.
You manipulated me for your gain,
And you cared nothing about my pain.
But in your absence, I found my assets.
I didn't know what it meant to be me
anymore.
On the floor,
there's a receptacle resembling me.
But you being here, being with me,
being the hope and the light,
and you knew who I was.
The spider had crawled in from the depths of the unknown
The girl, seeing the creepy crawler, screamed to her bones
Oh, wait a minute! Amongst the shadows in the dark
Lies a man as strong as a shark
Father of mine, all you have done
Ever since I could remember
All the days, all the fun
From Jaunrary to December
Your time and your love
Your sacrfice and your time
I can't help but wonder of your thoughts
since you've journeyed so far.
Has it changed you; are you slow to anger,
slow to find fault? Judge with a softer heart?
I'm curious the things you've learned,
From the moment of my birth
My first everything was with the fam
My ma and pa, my first teachers
What do you mean to me?
I got my morals from you
And so much love to share with the world
I got a black dad.
A black dad who stayed
dont get it twisted.
My dad ain't leavin
My dad ain't broke
My dad ain't drunk or addicted
My daddy true
Thoughts are not reality
They don't mean a thing
Believing your thoughts can be devastating
What your thinking may not be true
A rush to judgment that may really hurt you
It is very hard for me to pick just one person that I dedicate everything I am to
For others it might be simple
For others it might be impossible
I place myself somewhere in the middle.
Step up to the mic
Testing one, two, three
Center stage everyone
Wait, but there are no people to see
All of a sudden a voice is heard
“Look around my dear”
So I do, I see nothing, so I reply
His POV
There she was with her the back towards me,Sitting on a park bench, with earphones on.Listening to a song. Or talking to someone.Why should I care? She is free.
My heart started racing when his name popped up on my phone’s screen.
I flash back to the many nightmares of him hunting me.
I'm caught in a state of fear, attempting to read his mind,
11 years has passed and it has yet to become easier.
Each year that passes I expect the blow of father's day to be lessened.
But the opposite occurs. I get hurt more.
Yo se que no hamblamos de todo
pero tampoco hay esa necsisdad
porque los mejores momentos son los mas simples.
No hay que decir nada para disfrutar
esos momentos que pasamos juntos.
Tell, teach, preach, or indoctrinateby any means necessary.He'll never learn another way.
Balance his needs with your own,or at least, never let him see you struggle.That comes later.
Never Farewell
By: Ricardo A Arreola
In a world filled with lies and made up memories
Hate is all a child ever grew to know
But when lying next to frozen stone one
I’m afraid of spiders their hairy legs and relentless fangs
Afraid of the tallest heights looking down from the stairs
As if they are a 200 foot skyscraper
I have not met you in this physical lifetime,
Although I carried you with me for quite some time.
I would like to tell you about someone I admire before you reach your destination.
Remember when I was born?
Remember when we went to Las Vegas?
Remember when we went to Chicago,
Dear Father,
I guess you were the onewho was supposed to show me how this works.The ins and outs of love,living, learning, and putting my happiness first.
Dearest father
I’m eighteen now
Can you believe it
Probably not
You were never there in the first place
So why would you care now
I like to think that sometimes my mother lied about who you are
Hat on straight,
a shiny badge pinned
to a crisp, white shirt.
I watch him through my big, young eyes.
He smiles at me,
lacing his boots,
then kisses the top of my head.
Dear Dad,
I hope you find this letter well.
Life's good, but now it's getting harder to tell
what college or major or lifestyle choice
I have to make before I move
into a place that's missing you.
Mommy I took my first steps today,
You were smiling,
Under daddy’s arm giving kisses like you first met,
Only 16 with an older man,
He told you don’t worry there just love taps,
Dear Dad,
its been years, continuous
I want you to know
You can not baptize yourself in Liquor
That ocean is not holy
I want you to know
Your liver will drown, get sicker
To Whom It May Concern,
I haven't written you in two years,
I've talked to you,
Sometimes you talk back.
Through that broken watch you left me
Everything I own to remember you by
On my wrist
dear dad,
you look at me
when i am a woman,
pretty pink dress
clung like a leech
sucking content
from my skin.
Dad,
I remember
…every single time you abandoned me in a car to chase your own desires
…every single time you smoked your daughter away from your mind
When I was 5 you would always read me stories
Nothing compared to your softness and light sounds of fingers tracing cartoon trees for me
I’d await the next book eagerly
Dear Appa,
You’re the one who can see the way words move
and yet to you, those words are not valuable.
Sacred.
But worth nothing.
For me, words are everything.
Dear Father
I don’t call you “Dad”
Because I don’t feel you know me
The thought of opening up to you makes me want to flea
Dear Father,
Where has she gone?
When I came out to
her,
she wore a black-lace veil
and mourned the death of
her grandchildren
Little, little mirror
Dear Dad,
I look back on the days
When you showed me all of your love
Showed me all of your care
When I thought you just acted tough
Always left your side fast
Dear Daddy,
I think it's been a while father,
Don't you ever wonder what's going on with your daughter?
It’s been long since you’ve gone,
Dear Dad,
Are you upset with me, because I grew up wrong?
Are you upset that I am Mentally ill?
You haven't spoken to me in so long.
But I love you, still.
Dear Best Friend,My parents thought they could save meSave me from the agony of real lifeSave me from the ugly truth that is my storyBut they couldn't
Of all men
Stands tall, proud
A statue of stoic narcissism
"Impressions matter,"
The words of an impressionist
When I was little, you were the best.
I remember how we used to sing karaoke before bed.
When I was little, we always played Crash Bandicoot.
Long live my Father
Who is the wisdom in life's eye
Who upon his shoulders rest
Who is never willing to die
Long live my Father
Who upon a chariot was born
You tested my patience,
my unofficial commitment,
you tested my ability to actually love someone,
or feel at all.
I'm always wrong
I don't belong
Anywhere I walk
That's why I stay
And waste away
It's why I never talk
I'll never be
What you want from me
No matter how hard I try
Gone for months,
See me once
Still don't make an effort
Moved away
But you stay
Still don't make an effort
Right upstairs
But who cares
Still don't make an effort
Dear Father,
I never meant to bother,
But I couldn't help but notice the piercing holler.
I never meant to bother,
But I couldn't help but notice you weren't acting proper.
I never meant to bother,
Dear Dad,I believe that, at my creation, God deemed you my father.
How else could a man be so delicately crafted for my upbringing?
Today in the car he told me how easy it is to kill yourself.
I wrote it down thinking it would create some meaningful piece of poetry,
Always behind me,
He's there to protect,
Working with precision,
A hero so perfect.
Omnipresent is he,
Scanning for snags,
Clearing my way,
Destroying such lags.
I looked up.
For the first time,
I saw you.
I saw me.
My eyes,
Yours.
My face,
The resemblance.
I wish I could play a reel
And show you the footage that plays in my mind
That perfetly explains how I feel
Time after time
The film would star the pools "Stair Master"
You were a fucked up kid, so was I
Because of you
No problem; mom she did everything she could
You should've used a condom
But no; I'm blessed and love the people in my life
You can't screw up that too
Dear Father
The way you care for me throughout my life
It makes me feel like I miss you.
Teaching me how to ride my bike, tie my shoes, and do math.
Reading scripture and applying it to our lives.
Dear Stranger,
It has been a little over a year now since I first met you,
Since your own daughter first met you,
and the rest of your grandchildren too.
We don't blame you
you hadn't a clue
Dear Mr. Biological Father,
As a young child, all I ever wanted was a real dad.
All of the dads in the movies played ball and ran around in the yard with their kids.
A Letter to an Absent Father
Dear father- or rather to the man
Who simply donated DNA.
I'm not sure if I can call you "Dad"
Anymore because a father is
Dear Dad,
When it comes to writing,
I never know where to start,
But I know it must have an end.
The day you left was brightly covered,
Like the world did not care you were leaving a little boy behind.
The day you entered my life
I know we won’t have any strife
Our family: Dad, child, wife
But that is just a big fyffe
A lie just to give you hope
Daddy don’t need to elope
My mother always told me to be patient
She would tell me wait until you’re thirty to get married
Then again
I care, and Why
by Henry Rude
You text me all day.
What is going on right now?
I would like to know.
He says "I love you"
Beats and bruises, scars and slaps
Dear Father,
Thank you for being my fatherBecause fathers should provide
They should hold your hand and want to danceAnd be present in your life
Your mother and I worked
like bee's making sweet honey to create you.
Though I didn't carry you for nine months, you have come from me
and from my seed you have blossomed.
Beautifully.
I have built you up
Craig is a hurricane. He is a pernicious storm delivering nothing but havoc and destruction. This bipolar alcoholic is more destructive than most hurricanes the world has seen. He rips your emotions apart as a storm would do to a home.
I remember you telling me,I was better off without you,that the world was better offwithout you. I remember how those conversations made my heart stopand turned my body to lead,weighing me down with fear. I remember riding in the car, my knuckles
He is a hollow shell found on empty beaches
You try to get a hold of him, and he breaks in pieces
His words are venom but his eyes are tears
Did a good heart get you far
As simple as it seems
Did a good mom get you sharp
As simple as her seams
Did a good heart feed your soul
Or did it starve you to death
in my voicemails is where i keep you.
i have only listened twice,
for good reason,
because each time your voice echoes in my mind
it burns a whole in my heart
and weakens my body
and fills up my lungs.
I met love through my father.
a morning kiss on my mother's forehead.
Roses and hugs with toys and candy.
a prayer before bed.
tough talks, harsh advice.
leading me through the tangles of life
I feel like i'm being strangled
Just like what you did to my sister
I was five and on the staircase crying
She was sixteen with your hands around her neck
I wish I could take you from your pain.
I wish I could draw you a door
So you could open it and leave,
But paper doors are as thin as the notion.
And we are two paper boats being set alight
How weird;
I used to come to you crying
with a splinter in my finger.
Now I avoid your presence
as if you were an active hornet's nest.
The sound of a river flowing ferociously-
water washing the side of the rock we sit on.
The wind rustles through the brush,
bringing cool morning air with it.
It's nearly six a.m.
Looking over,
Because I love you
I will cry in your presence
I will not think twice about giving you a hug
I will thank you for everything you've done to change my life
I will tell you that I love you
I love you Dad
Dad, can you help me fix this shit?
I keep trying to build mountains out of nothing,
And you always could fix anything.
I know, you'd pick a shovel up, and help me
Dig my own grave, if only I'd ask.
I am no more a beautiful,
My bruises made intentional;
They watched as though a wonder occurred,
Twas mine right eye through agony suffered.
Dear Father
I heard stories, how you'd beat her,
from the neighbour,
when I was younger;
then you stole her_________
mother's necklace, just to spoil your little lover.
Everyone believes your great,
They keep on telling me so,
Expertly you play the part of their mate,
Sweet childishness and humour overflow,
He is the sure foundation:
strong shoot of thistle;
never wilts, never withers,
even in scorching heat of summer.
He is the house fortress:
dependable as ever;
a moat built to last,
Hey, remember when my brother died.
Yeah, bet you don’t.
Funny thing is, you were the one that spoke those words
He slit his throat,
when I heard the news, I looked at my brother as he stood next to me in shock
I'm writing now to a little girl,
A little girl sitting lonely rocking on the floor,
The little girl inside of me whose hurt eats at me like a Hunger gnaw,
I remember a time when I felt no hope
When all of my dreams just went up in smoke.
It was the day they told me he was sick
And there might be a few things he couldn't help but miss.
Now I sit here and ponder, will you still be here? Will you come to my graduation, cheer for me as I accept my diploma? Will you walk me down the isle, eyes filled with tears?
I inherited my fathers voice
That raises over small talk, conquers barriers,
Has loud ideas that shake the ground.
Mine begin to blow trees, stir rocks.
Nice boys don’t like wind tussled hair and
And there we were deteriorating.
Where were you when we were degenerating.
And here you lack some empathy.
And our corrupt hearts are worsening, regressing.
Go ahead and mourn with other people.
Welcome to the carnival of life
Where brilliance shines, flashing lights
Where memories are our currencies
Where affection is shared like cotton candy
Where strength is measured in courage
Welcome to the carnival of life
Where brilliance shines, flashing lights
Where memories are our currencies
Where affection is shared like cotton candy
Where strength is measured in courage
These Feelings are so hard to express
They bounce around in my head trying to get out.
Anger, haterd, sadness, loss,
But also love and care.
It feels like no one else can understand These Feelings
Growing up with my mom, hardly ever had a father figure.It was like I was the only one who ever saw the bigger picture.I grew up in New York with my mom in an apartment.My dad was a handy man who worked on anything from ceiling to floor carpet.I w
I'm consumed with darkness
I don't ever leave my house
It's like I'm trapped in a nightmare
And there's no way out
I'm putting up a front
But nothing seems to please me
A girl once contemplatedWhat it means to be loved,What it means to be valued,What it means–to be a girl
The impossible has happened and now I am impossibly numb.
The bitter sting of an empty core, I wanted more. More warmth more sun, more love, hope.
And I want more still.
Heartbreaks come in many ways
Family, boyfriend/girlfriend, or even just a friend
Although mine falls under one of those categories,
Mind differs a slight bit.
Some call it sexist, some believe it's a true miracle
Dad,
These are the days where I,
With special clarity,
With attentive mind
Give heed to the cavern in my heart.
These are the days where I wonder
And I miss your smile.
The days I remember.
Well what do you want me to be Dad? Do you want me to puff my chest out and speak with bass in my voice? Or would you rather me hang with the guys and talk about girls all day?
The boy I was a year ago still had a dad.A loving dad who was just trying to turn a boy into a man.For a tragedy was coming. The boy I was a year ago was a little more sophomoric.Didn't care if I was wrong, I didn't care about anything but myself.
He ran freely around his backyard fighting the dragons and monsters with his imagination.
Knowing if he uses the sword that Daddy made for him it will protect him from anyone and anything.
The only letters I’ve ever kept
Are apology letters
Every single one from my father
Because it’s easier for him to write to me
And leave it in my room while I’m sleeping
Than to look me in the face
He is not my “Dad,” just simply my father
With his face pressed against mine, eyes closed, smiling,
He looks as if he loves me
And maybe he does, but I refuse to believe it
Father has become a forgotten word,
Lost in the back of my head.
Every now and then, he appears in her lips.
Every now and then, I get to hear what I missed.
My eyes are slothy
My knees are weak
I must get up
Attention I seek
I'm drawn to the door
I feel his presence
My father is home
My heart gets a message
I drift out of bed
As I enter this day,
what most do I crave?
Unlimited, love-genuine intimacy
with someone who never leaves
Embraced daily close to a heart that's
He holds onto me
Even when I loosen my hold on Him
He holds onto me
Even when I feel I'm letting go
My hand's sweaty with fear
Worn with temptations
Disjointed with pride
She wondered why he was never home
And only thought and thought
Maybe he was really near
Or maybe he just forgot
I'm stuck.
I'm stuck in the middle.
In the middle of a fight I never wanted part of.
A fight that shouldn't involve me, but it does.
I hear the yelling and threats and oral abuse.
Hi there. It's me, your father/mentor/master-plumber/older-self. If it's all right with you, I'd like to drop some knowledge on your head. At the time of writing this I'm 18 years old.
Father as I prepare to walk this stage I wrote another poem for you
I must admit, I too have been instutionlized
This cap and gown symbolize the assimilation process being complete
A needle: a small, thin object
with a sharp point that mends
our open wounds.
Sewing needles are polished
and used by seamstresses
to keep our clothes
stitched and tailored.
And There I was with my mother
with the stumbled soul
and already fallen as hard wood and perforated
The suffering made me my father in life
so fierce the anger of my being to have hope to continue living
A is for air force. It’s Captain Briggs in the jet. The toughest and proudest man that you’ve ever met.
B is for ball, “why can’t you catch?” Dad grumbled as I shaped my small hands for the next.
I am my father's son,
Or I was anyway before I started tenth grade.
The day I found out I just wanted run,
None of my friends could understand how heavy everything weighed.
I remember when I wrote my first poem.
I was 8 years old.
I had just processed the loss of my father.
I had never before felt so alone
So hurt
So empty
So lost.
Looking into his eyes, cold, empty full of lies. Who was this man standing before me in this disguise? I've seen that look one too many times. I wish I never was a disappointment. But this man gave up on me a long time ago.
Awakened long before the sun has begun to rise;
A loyal servant of the people wipes the sleep from his eyes.
Peeking out the window to see the hazard of the day;
You didn't raised me
You left. Because I wasn't your problem
I gave you chance after chance when you came crawling back
But you were stubborn & pride was more important than your flesh and blood
You left me.
Shit...that's all I could say on the night that my dad made us go different ways.
I said it three times as I put on my pants, and he knocked on the window as you pulled out your hand.
Written in the bilingüe style of Rhina P. Espaillat
I wonder whether my father,
proud and stubborn
(orgulloso y testarudo),
ever snuck a peek
at the poetry I wrote
Without you I would be lost.
I know its been tough lately
I've been driving you crazy,
But I think you need to know
I see you working hard
The way your feet hurt when you come home.
I heard a prayer today
By Father Pedro Arrupe
About love
Part of it read:
“Fall in Love, stay in love,
and it will decide everything.”
When I was born, everyone especially my father were in awe
With the smallest action of a shrieking cry
It was my first action of strength, of power, of life
If not the man
then the thought of him
if not the thought of him
then his words
his words in your head reminding you who you are and who you ought to be.
I was formed by broken words.
“Broken English,” my mother called it.
But to me, it was just how Dad spoke.
He’d come home from hours at the factory.
“I have faith on you,” he’d say.
I wonder when you bought this, did you think about the stone?
The jagged purple gem meant to prevent a drunken bone.
Or did you buy it on whim to make up for a drinking binge?
The clouds detach themselves from the sky
and bind their bodies to the ground
Creating dew drops dropping down the grass
To awake in a fog, a misty glass
The affair doesn't last
They return to the sky
I believe in the Father
The Holy One that is
I never seemed to bother
With expressing all of this
Though if there was one thing
That which I couldn't live without
It would be the One we praise
A little dot here
A splash of color there
Just add a little bit of "omph" everywhere.
My soul has been unleashed
My attention must not cease
I want to forget; that is my silent prayer.
Ive been thinking bout you a lot lately..Maybe a little too much..Breath stinking roaches on my tooth brush..Wishin i was on the road cooking like a food truck.no wishes grantedhate waking up now cus school sucks.. Eyes tearing up.Wish i had some
I can taste the lust in your kisses
It forces your tongue just a little closer to mine than it ought to.
I fear your touch but I shiver and press toward it.
Am I a slut?
I think this is what adultery must feel like.
Like a child, I will believe every word you say no matter how ridiculous it may sound.
And every time someone tries to convince me otherwise I will interupt them with "but my Daddy said..."
Is this how it is supposed to feel?
Broken and scared.
On the floor in a ball crying
Hearing the raging in the background
Words thrown out
Nothing you can do to take them back
Two way street
Second place
The backburner
The fault bearer
Worthless
Stupid
Idiot
Liar
Anorexic
Twig
Bird
In the background
I silently watch as work takes over
Anger.
Hatred.
Sadness.
Each day,
Driving past your house,
I'd always wonder,
Did you ever think about me?
Did you ever miss me?
'Course not 'cause you was never there
"I call out
Is no one there?
The imagination
Of the atmosphere
I called out
My memories stare
The past and present
Of ones held dear
Icalled out
But not in fear
I gasp in fear as I for the first time see
The frightening, frothy foam around me
With selfish fright, I see the swiftness of the water
Flowing steadily to you, my father
"Invite me to your wedding," you said.
Where were you? Where were you when I needed you most?
God Almighty by Christian Betancourt
How great is our God?
That spoke the very Earth into existence
With a simple breathe of air.
This special day has swiftly greeted you once againAnother year rolling in like waves is about to beginYet, no matter the time that passes-from year to hourI will always be in awe of your exceptional creative power
It is that time of year once moreTo share thoughts on a special dayFor a person who is special to the coreAnd defines "Dad" in every possible way,Words cannot describe all that is done
I often wondered how far my ocean would goReaching the edge of a shore; waves rolling slowIn this ocean I crept only inches in this sea of blueCrawling from blackness, the salt stinging my view
SAD
IT Will BE
For A Father
TO Feel
For the
Death
OF
HIS Daughter
Who was HIS
“Precious Pearl”
IT would have
Been A very
I am...
I am my father's daughter
I am his patience, I am his kind spirit
I am his athlete, I am his social butterfly
I am my mother's daughter
I am her sensitivity, I am her best friend and she is mine
Long, curly, black hair--
better than mine.
Dark brown eyes,
but--
we look alike.
Book after book--
time flies by.
We don't read the same,
but--
we think alike.
Love is strange
It can be misunderstood
Sometimes it is a result of fear
A drop of compassion,
A dash of respect,
A pinch of naivety,
And maybe some caring nature
There are many types of love,
When I was little my father used to let me use his belly for a pillow. He was my rock in this tossing stream we call life, but just like any sedimentary he started to erode. Parts of himself were chipped away with each wave of sorrow.
i never can understand
how a father can leave his daughters to fend for themselves
he blames them for his pain
but they're caught in the game
the same one he claims he lost to their mom to
my father
reduced
to a pile of belongings
"a seperate load"
on moving day
to be locked in a storage unti
abandonded
worn clothes donated to charity
I,
have issues.
But probably not the kind you think.
Mine were created by my father and big sister.
It was there,
Always there.
In the long studio,
In the one room apartment,
In the new house,
In the green living room.
It was always there.
In the second spring
Life is short, but life has offerings.
So many offerings, that so many don’t learn to take.
From a young age I was offered beauty and pain.
The pain wasn’t a choice, but the beauty was.
So, when i first saw the contest basic requirements, i kind of took it a general statement so i wrote my poem about how awesome my father is, but not in the typical way i guess, idk i hope you all like this.
Even as a child, I new his super power,
He could light up the tallest buildings, even the Willis tower.
He would take me to the batting cages, and ice cream shops galore,
March 25 2012
When I was 6 years old I lost something
It wasn’t just anything
Not something that can be replaced at a store
Not a thing
But a who,
At just six years old I lost my father,
¿Dónde está papá, el final del libro de cuentos?[1]
The weathered one—The one that cascades a waterfall of shimmery glitter,
i remember it all: the time you laughed and ran after the ice cream truck for me because i left my shoes inside and locked us out of the house…the time we sat in the
Father, a teacher, helper, protecter, giver- you are all these things and more
I could go on forever and ever, but mostly you care for me
A strange affinity to male teachers
One would suppose her sick
No, not sick..
Maybe she liked the attention
Of course such a surface observation was not correct
She was a recovering addict
Hand to cheek
Whispering streams
Flicked away with solidarity
My father lives
Thanks rooted to his soul
Fragility pinned to his heart
2/3 cut away from his stomach
If you always jump feet-first
Will your head always go through?
If your car lacks direction
Do you have drive for what you do?
Stability is a joke. When I feel fine, it is time to plan on going somewhere else. All because of YOU. You came in acting as a replacement father and came out as a joke. A lying joke with no point and only offense. You think you can control me?
I don't understand
What do your words mean?
I'd like to think I know you better than to believe that it's what it sounds like
You've been irresponsible for some time now
Why did you cry when he died,
but not when I said good bye.
Why did you cry when I was angry,
but not when I was sad.
Why did you cry when I moved,
Mother gave birth to me.
Father saw me be born.
How can he not care
That I am so torn?
I wanted him here;
In my life,
But instead he took off
With his new wife.
He always makes promises,
If my beloved father never started a career
that required so little family commitment,
I doubt I'd comprehend the meaning
of matieralism.
Two-hundred-fifty thousand a year
without a worry,
Once again I am afraid to face this day
The day you left without returning
I have always wanted to write a poem for my father,
but have been unable to decide on a topic.
Should I write about his stern face, his ever-furrowed brow?
Should I write about the lessons he gave my brother and I
When I'm gone I hope they see, how dedicated a man can be, to stick it out through thick and thin, to never let the enemy win, to never walk away in shame, like the one who gave me my last name, a useless man with no real roots, a joke, a sham, a
Daddy dearest, I hide behind your cloak and giggle as we play. You teach me to swim, to hunt, to ride, and to be far more than just any girl.
You twisted my mind,
With your words and your lies.
You stole away my childhood,
In every way that you could.
my father is a man of many colors.
on the nights when the moon stays asleep,
he lotions his palms with pomegranate juice.
the sugared blood pools in the creases of his
skin and stains it India’s red.
for as long as i can remember, my father has carried
the weight of the world on his shoulders. it’s not
bodybuilding because the diabetes breaks everything
he creates. he doesn’t walk very far—or at all, for that
You see growing up I was told my father was no good
I was told he didn't care about me
I was told he sold drugs, even got shot
My Father....
Growing up only seeing My Father on the weekends.
Here I am day after day wondering if he will come. I eagerly sit a the kitchen window waiting for this special person only to get stood up every time. I call and call but no answer.
The last time that I saw you,you were being pulled through the front door by police officers.
We'll always remember our youth,
our careless and reckless acts.
We'll always remember our childish loves,
HE'S LIVIN OFF A REPUTATION THAT HE ONCE HAD,
HE DOESN'T READ HIS BIBLE ANYMORE IT JUST FADED AWAY LIKE
SOME KINDA FAD.
NOW IT JUST SITS IN HIS ROOM ON A DUSTY SHELF,
Since a little girl
I've wanted to walk in your shoes
Yes
The big black ones
I always wore your clothes
When you were out to sea
And home with me
You told me that you loved me
Dad's got whiskey on his breath,
and a hair from another lady.
He's counting the days until his death,
and tells mom she's crazy.
Mom lays still in the other room.
She has no will to speak.
I was just old enough to
Tie my shoe,
When my dad could hardly wait,
To teach me how to ice skate.
He wrapped my sister and I,
In coats to keep us dry.
And packed us in the car
He wants a smarter girl
With just enough charm and wit
But knows when to keep her mouth shut
Someone he can be proud of
Someone that hasn’t disappointed
Someone he can control with a look
I am fifteen
And my hair is nice and long
I still have the curls
And my love is not so strong
Daddy, do you remember when I was young and I'd run to you with all my problems?
You always promised me that you'd do anything to make me happy,
You didn't want to raise your children the way you were raised.
I never knew
how fast time
could fly.
And as the clock is clicking by,
I’m wondering why,
It has to be this way.
Whatever happened to the day
I met you when I was three
You use to be special to me
You became something like my number one
You brightened my world, like the moon and the sun
You were perfectly imperfect, and that was okay to me
A growing voice inside my head; the essence of me.
You were my only nightmare, yet the only person I wanted to see.
I could not wait to meet you, for I never have before.
My mother is still there.
On her bed,
her blankets that matched ours
still folded from the warmer nights.
They are smaller, neater, perhaps not so soft.
The phone is back at its nightstand post,
"You did this"
I think this as I try to sleep my first night at my fourth foster home that year.
I am ony six years old.
As that night was not cold, my heart was chilling to my soul,
How could you?
You left us when I was eleven
You just walked out
Said it was over.
It's been five years
You still haven't changed dad
It's bullshit to think you would.
My love you have grown,
my love you have shown,
shown that you are fine without me.
My dear you stay sweet,
my dear you're on your own two feet,
experiencing a world without me.
What is a friend
That says one thing and does another
Who apologizes with sincerity
For something they don't remember
What is a lover
That takes your heart and doesn't love back
I was born into a world of destruction and hate, all led by you
You whispered nursery rhymes and lovely phrases into my ear with a hint of alcohol on your breath
I write to the Little Girl in the Future.
In case you have forgotten...
In case you have forgotten the beauty of the swirling passions of the primitive past
Anyone I have ever loved is a ghost I keep alive in my notebookBy feeding them the ink from my ball point pen,And let them sleep between the college ruled lines likeSome sort ofInhumane bunk bed.
today's your birthday and Fathers Day
with everything that's happened i know you'd be speechless
it's hard to think of what to say
I feel like since you've been gone our family has been a mess
I checked my phone countless times that day.
You never called.
For the next week I was glued to my phone waiting for the day you would call to apoligize.
You never called.
This isn't a broken heart from a parted lover, not a poem about strangers.This isn't about some little fight, this is me, simply telling you, I'm alright.
In these past few years,
The family has changed.
From graduations to marriages,
Dad, you would be surprise.
You were the proud father
Of seven happy children.
Now we are seven adults
How did we grow apart?
Space between us far and wide
Like a valley, and empty void,
all becaue you lied, you lied to me
left in my heart are the crumbs of what I use to feel for you
I woke up this morning,
Heard two voices in an argument.
When did things go this wrong?
Pretending to see, I cried silently.
When I made a decision of my own,
You said "no" and were soon gone.
I love my momma, I really do.
But sometime she be getting on my LAST nerves.
She would yell; "BB......come scratch my back."
"BB....get me something to drink"
"BB...what you got for a snack?"
Taking A Loss
By: Eric Turner
To know how it feels to lose someone that was never really there, yet you wanted them very badly to be...
Where were you
You called to give a time
You said you would be here by 9
Where were you
I was sitting drinking from my cup
Wonder if you still had me in mind
But where were you
just seeing him makes me angry
just seeing his greying hair,
his yellow and brown teeth
that cost 10,000 dollars to replace
last time
his thinning body
I need someone who will be there for me.
A person who is not afraid to get down on their knees.
A character who will be a hero and not a villain.
Someone who can make my life thrilling.
Can anyone be that person?
The description of the To Be Heard Scholarship Slam asked the question of who I want my poetry to reach. The answer is simple, my daughter.
Father..
Can you hear me? Does my words matter?
My mind runs with questions that you left unanswered.
Left alone..Confused.. Unwanted..
I thought you loved me?
I can only be lied to so many times.
Time has passed,
The pain still lasts,
And I’m still hesitant to write,
Issues and pains,
They still remain,
I see my daddy in heaven, right next to gram,
They see me,
They know.
I don't really see them.
Father
What you could never be
A hero in the eyes of the boy
You couldn't see
Believe you'll make the ideology
Of a youth quite effectively
When you yourself
Are blinded by whats beneath
one, moment that changed our lives.
as you told me the news
Holding my hand
Two seconds for it to sink in
I let the tears fall
three days before you left
walking away from us leaving
I can't even tell you
How angry I feel
When you say that you love me
But your voice is all slurred
I wish I could tell you
How I'm feeling inside
But you never listen
Red is the color of the sun as it rises, warm and spreading across his face.
Blue is the color of his eyes, the same as yours, as he looks up to you with pride.
The worst thing about depression is, you don't care about anything.
I don't care if my father knows I hate him for all he has done
The tears, the tourtue.
she’s rewriting my childhood
I remember your bedtime stories—
ad-libbed and unscripted
I remember the folk music—
for a pocket full of mumbles such are promises
I write this to my father
I hope I make you proud
Across the widest canyons
Can you hear me now?
I hated your lectures.
Your constant reproaching.
The way your lips turned upwards
whenever you were boasting.
The way you abused me
with drunken colored words,
my cheeks would sting with a taste
I had a dream last night
A dream that it all went right
From day one, there you were
Out of the blue you cared about me
Where the hell did that come from?
I always thought I needed you
Man is no good.
For me, an is non existant
Man is one that hurts
Hurts those who i love
Man is the fastest thing alive
He runs, fast...so fast
Too fast to realize what hes left behind
Where are you now?
I can't remember your face,
The photos are all burn with our memories.
He despises you but I miss you
Maybe it's because he had more time to know you
Lost.
Drifting absently through a void, separating my adolescence from my truth.
Fear snaps me out of my reverie.
Presently, I'm treading water
In a sea of memories trying
Their best to rush over me;
Like music infiltrates the ears
of the listener. That simple, that quick,
That easy to lose yourself and get
A father in continuous labels
Slumped by life’s merciless challenges
Transcended every failure
Appreciated In Past Future
Stolid with rare vigor
Honorable with freed absolution
Rising from the chasm
Spreading,
It'll never stop.
It's only a matter of time, pop,
He's gone.
In just one blink,
In just one second,
In just one moment,
He's gone.
Cancer,
the one thing I will defeat,
oh father
what has happenedto you?
what on earth stole from you your guitar?
and told you to stop singing to your baby girl?
oh father
theres a darkness that settles in your eyes thsese days.
The sky was painted
Like stained glass
As I sat in the backseat
Of my father’s car
I watched my darkened surroundings
Gradually brighten and reveal
The familiar landscape
You don't want your child?
That's not your choice.
You made that.
How can you look at her face
And deny her?
She's your blood
Your legend.
What has the world come to?
Living Father of my youth
Left home, leaving
Silent words of error
Slipping like a ghost
Diving away from me
Seek out the meadows
Upon this day
Into the night
Come out upon my sight
As silent as a ghost
One thing that I would change,
would not to be for my life to be re arranged,
from bedtime stories, to a goodnight kiss,
these are the things that I really do miss.
Days go longer, without my father,
I wish you had told me sooner
That you would be leaving me
I know you have your duties but
I
Your daughter
Deserved a say in the matter
I watch the news
I see the deaths
The door opens and he walks out
Leaving me alone in the
Empty house
Empty room
Empty doorway
With an
Empty smile
Empty thought
Empty heart
broken and confused
shaken up and abused
you told me you loved me
see how words can be easily misused
Dad, this is not me,
You have a legacy which I cannot live up to.
I’m just a little different than you.
You are strong, it’s obvious. I can see
It in your hair and the plump of your knuckles.
The day my dad left
I was in a state of deinal.
I couldn't fully grasp the situation at hand.
Parents are supposed to love their children,
and want to watch them grow up.
But no, not my Daddy.
I reply with a "REST IN PEACE" when someone brings your name up,
I mean, I might as well...
You've been dead to me for 18 years.
Or have I been dead to you?
Eyes cast toward the windowUnseeingPretending to gaze outward, downwardAt patchwork buildings and trafficUnheard through hospital wallsYet you remember the soundLike the blood rushing through your ears
You tied my shoes
One rabbit chasing another
And held my hand to cross the street
You lifted me up when I needed to see
You lay down me down when I needed to sleep
Hi mister
how did you enter my room
my room says girls only at the door so thats why he goes through the window
how was your day his cold breath asks .
my day was beautiful it snowed ,
We inherited our fathers hatred
letting his words tattoo into our brains
and flow onto our tongues
every time we were bombarded with something new
these words fell from our lips
Inside my heart are a pile of needles, they stick me often, making me bleed internally
This pain is caused by an unknown man
A man that was never a father to his child.
I've lived 16 years, wondering where he was
Many of us have doubt when we see that God is taking too long to answer, many of us do not seek the kingdom first and wonder why all the other good things aren't coming we tend to lean on our own understanding which means not Trusting in the Lord
I sit and wait
For my dad to change,
He pokes and jabs
but he never knows how much it really hurts.
I try and get back to the way it used to be
but it is hard to do that when he is picking on me.
You me us
Poetry Slam
To give you expectations
To the one man that I looked up to
To the one man that helped make me
To the unexpected result of my father
To the upcoming tortures
What do you do when there are no words to expressall the thoughts you've barely fathomed into a conscious
I wonder what the day will be like,
I wonder who my eyes will see,
The man who could've taught me to ride my bike,
Who could've been there for me.
I think about you daily,
I should hate you
I should despise every inch of your soul
I should recoil at your mere presence
I should be disgusted by every word you direct
Then again
What is there to hate
Stupidity is a luxury
And quite frankly,
Like most luxuries,
Only the rich can truly afford it.
Wealth, money, filthy lucre.
Would you trade the world
For circular slices of metal?
One of eight, a boy grows up listening to Beatles music
He sings along to every song
And hopes his voice is heard
He sings of love and "Let it Be"
His family sings along
He is there when I have a milion doubts
He is there when I have a million questions
He never leaves my side
Ask me who my father is
Superman
He can't fly,
but that doesn't mean he wo't be there when I need him.
I hate my father so much.
For being a jackass and such.
His attitude brings out the anger out of me,
yet his attitude has been passed down through the family tree,
and it has unfortunately been passed down to me.
Walking slowly into the bright white hospital,
My hands trembling to see him.
The strong smell of latex and cleanser surrounds me.
An old, fragile man sitting in a chair;
No muscle or color to his face.
I don't want you to turn out like your brother,
It's a little late for that, we have the same color eyes.
Stop being so dependent on me, your sixteen now.
Alright, I'll move out as soon as I turn eighteen.
From the break of day to nightfall
copious passengers:
overworked mothers,
college students,
gang members,
important business men,
with facial declarations that are impossible to conceal
Physically you're here
Mentally you're there
Emotionally, you were never prepared...
You've made me hate my self
For many years...
I’m sorry if it’s strange, but I don’t feel right
And it’s taken me a while to figure out why.
Now it’s hit me, I know why I feel so undone.
I’m just not fighting anymore.
An ache in my heart grew as I appeared back in the crowd that following Monday.
I had no intentions of being mentally present, of having anything to say.
It pisses me off
That you would start
Dipping again
Makes me angry and sad
To remember that you're
Chewing tobacco again
You say it's for your stress
My father was an alcoholic.
Maybe it's true that he still is.
Although he battles everyday,
His wounds are labeled 'anonymous'.
Anonymous is the word to describe many things.
A woman of Black gold, gave birth to an olive child,
Strong and mighty was she to stand by a father who stood to just pretend.
Made sure her little peice of hope in this world was warm, fed, and fast asleep everynight
Sometimes we argue,
sometimes we fight,
we definitely have our fits,
but that's alright.
Maybe things aren't always perfect,
sometimes we wonder why,
occasionally I give up.
I want you to see
I'm trying to make you proud.
It's harder than it seems.
Grades
money
family
all have been an issue
that coudln't be soaked up with a tissue
but when im in college
Her eyes were swollen from all the tears
That she had cried,
For what seemed to be a thousand years
Is it going to get better?
She questioned her mom
But she, too, was feeling excruciatingly numb
This is the story of tragedy immemorial.A tale of endless woe.I hope you'll learn from the mistakes.Made by two really quite bitter foes.
The scream filled his
Heart first
Then crept up his spine
And throat, where it lodged
In place.
No sound came
From his
Parted lips.
No words that
Could describe the
This axe of our views hides quietly away
its blade rarely sees the light of day
These days no one can get the axe
The teachers abuse and swear
Some children find this case unfair.
Wade Waking up to the alarm sound of cries from mothers,Putting on tattered clothes worn from dead brothers,Open up my phone, and hoping to get a text from one of my many lovers.Better get ready to go, before dad gets up with his morning bottle,
Many a day passed..
I waited.
He lay there..
Wasting away.
Neither him nor I could fix this.
Fatefully death had
Finally taken his hand
And had greeted me like so many times before.
Her tears were almost as rare as her smile
Her world of color was stricken with black
Her eyes crept with tears as they did
A tactful guile
As her face she hid
But each time in the corner
I tried to make you smile .
I tried to make you love me.
But instead you threw me
and then you broke me.
You didn't break me right
away though. Instead it was piece
Your father taught you how to live
Without a hope, and how to give
A kid he didn't care about
A life of shame and fear and doubt;
He taught you how to miss a guy
You never knew, and wonder why
Cancer is nothing but a thief.
Steals from children, adults, and animals alike
but has given to me much grief
When I was but a child at the age of seven
cancer that thief turned my life upside down
Although we are apart
He is still in my heart.
He fills up my heart with love
although he is up above.
Cancer brought you up there
and life sometimes is just not fair.
I wish he were home with me
With grace and power she stands there
Light soothing hands with a maternal touch
Gentle eyes that cut through glass and fair hair that falls upon her shoulders
Dependable, she is everyone's crutch
Because of you I'm afraid.
Of THEM,
Your kind.
You left me.
ABANDONED me.
Without a care in the world.
They always felt bad for him.
How you weren't there for HIM
Dark nights where pain resides
No where to run, no place to hide
A young child, a boy of only five
A young child, a boy of only five
Momma always used to say, “God laughs at the plans you make.”
But that was just a chance I had to be willing to take.
Empathetic, kind-hearted, containing the true values of life
Surrounded.By familiar faces that guide me.Yet still, I am lost.
Confused.But not numb. I feel frightened by the disarming smiles.Betrayed by the broken promises.
Hurt by the distance.
You were here just yesterday,
But in a split second you were taken right before my eyes.
Nothing has been the same.
I once met love at the front door!
And, when I glaced it's direction
Love, beautifully, smiled back at me.
That was love. My first sight!
I became instantly drawn to love.
You are gone.
lost, destroyed, undefined,
the same face,but different eyes.
What did she do to you?
You were supposed to be my rock
my shelter, my protector, my deliverer,
my mother taught me to grow up strongmy gradmother taught me to grow up propermy father taught me to grow up sarcasticyou taught me to grow up strongto grow up with love
Synergy
it must exist
My class mates, nor I
must choose not to resist
For all we have is this class
to express, elaborate, and hope it all last
I hope this semsester does not end to fast
Walk into class, look around, take a seat.
Preparing for a test, fighting the urge to cheat.
Teacher walks in without even a smile on her face.
Doesn't say good morning either, oh what grace.
Father, it's been two years Since my last confession Open your ears now This is my last session
Look into my eyes I'm far past tears It's useless to lie My demise is so near
Blood drippingLegs closedArms coveredFeelings exposed
Hearts racingWounds unhealedMorbid thoughtsLips are sealed
Alone AloneYou left againA knife in my backIgnorant men
My dispair flows from
Wherever I am
To where you are,
In the sweet sunshine of Californ-i-a,
Where only God can see you
And your newfound glory
Breaking our hearts,
This THING,
when the Sun is alive
so am I
the unimaginable dream is mine
fog will remain in my path
but fire in my eyes, boldly.
there is a dawn that rises
unshakeable and endless
like the core of soul
He died.
Such a short sentence, not wordy
Not eloquent,
But what else can I say when someone mentions my dad?
Or asks, "what's your father do?"
Sometimes, I lie,
"Tell me, tell me, tell me once more.
The words you say before you walk out the door.
Please don't go, don't leave me here alone.
How will I know if you will ever return home?
I promise I won't tug at your hand.
I carry the restless nights under my eyes.
Tugging at my shields engraved with demise.
And the pressure of the heavy hurt I heave
Is lightened when the hot tears of hope leave
soft white breadchilled turkeyiced snapping lettuce.safety in comfort.
i take a bite.
yesterday,lunch washomemade.the same sandwich.no hauntingsilence.no stingingsirens.
His heavy eyes reflect the ever growing burden he carries upon his shoulders
the weight only multiplies and the job is never done
overworked and under appreciated
That light that you see
It isn't me.
My light is broken there is no way for it to be repaired.
“So, this is it...” says my dad from the hall outside my dorm room.
The words hang like a streamer spanning the width of my door frame
separating college on one side from my childhood on the other,
Today he leaves me here;
I’m supposed to be different. Evil and much darker. Traits that seem absent. In this bitter but sweet disaster. With genes like these, My fate nearly sealed. Lonely and furious, Rotten and concealed. Apple of his eye, From deep trampled fear. Does
I move forward past the old memories.
Past the one with the angry glare.
And past the one who slouched or became irate when I cried,
And past the one who slurred his words.
A daughter born from sin
In my father’s eyes I could never win
A home, my cage
Full of hate and rage
Bruises covering my mother
Made by the man I call father
Screams, wakening me in the dead of night
You told me you love me,
Yet where are you now.
My birthday approaches,
Yet not one word from you.
Dear God,
Where were you?
Sincerely,
Daughter of an alcoholic narcissist.
Dear Father,
Where were you?
Sincerely,
Daughter of an alcoholic narcissist
Dear Mother,
They say I should say goodbye.
Closure or something?
But its not fair.
What about you?
You never said goodbye.
What about closure for you?
Or because you are not the Man you once were
Dancing boxertaking giverfighting allyloving enemy.Muscularly weaksweetly rough.Trying quitterplaying spectator.Joyful screamshappy sobsscary smiles.Dad you are an oxymoron.You’re like curry.At first you’re nice with a little bit of kickthen it s
If my son were gay,
I’d slap him
With a nice high five.
Because coming out to your dad,
Takes balls that most men don’t have.
1994
By: Cynthia Kangeyo
Nineteen ninety four
1-9-9-4
Mil Novecientos noventa y cuatro
It doesn’t matter which language I say it
A father’s love cannot be measured
In petty units of weight and feet.
For his love, however fleet,
Is always held dear and treasured.
Looking left and right, what is going on in all of these peoples’ lives?
There are people of all ages; teens, grandparents, husbands and wives.
Some people are crawled up into a ball, crying their eyes out.
During the day I am gone, at night I lay waiting, I can hear him coming yet he is too far away. Day has come and I am gone.
Im slamming through these rhymes like it means nothing,
Some say its a crime, yet im not doing the time.
Some say its intense, but I see it as common sence.
Some say it comes from the heart, yet they dont know the start.
How can we say farewell to he of alpha breedWho never came fourth with a selfish act of need?For this white wolf was strong as could be.Now finally the great wolf is set free.
Why I write? I write because you told me to
Because you encountered history and literature but never met a pen or page
Why did you have to love me?
I can promise you that it’s nothing against you. But, I turn away because I keep love close, maybe too close, and I think that I will only remember and love you.
So let me tell you, it started with this girl,
you already heard alll the shawty stories but yo son let me tell you about this one girl.
Shawty tall like model, didnt know why she aint go on ANTM
I had a dream last nightBut it wasn't an ordinary dreamIt was a nightmare on Sawyer StreetSo I decided to channel my epiphanies into this poemJust to change the world with my imaginary reality
A girl to begin my poetry,
a girl to hold my heart,
a girl to talk with me,
and never be apart.
She inspires the words,
she creates the lines,
if it not for her,
I would have never shined.
Love, What Is It?
What Should Be A Simple Question?
But Yet Is Asked By Many
Do You Have To First Lust To Love
If You Ask Me You'll Receive A Shrug
Said Often Only Out Of Curiosity
Entitled: Najarri Samuel Whitehead
But that's all you read.
Skipped past the prologue, and examined the pictures.
So in reality you only saw the happiness, the joy.
Never walking the heartache and pain.
My biggest fear will never visit me
Never will I allow myself to fall in
To cave in, to wither, to fall.
For I will stand as strong as a weeping willow.
In the darkness he lurks, always behind me.
my ears muster only the skeleton of your voice,
a hollow memory traipsing its legs over a joyful moment,
its recalcitrant grasp shackling me in high tides of self-loathing & worthlessness.
I am still reminded of him by beggars stalking the intersections downtown. I have known my real father to be homeless. Braked at the mouth of my neighborhood’s beltway exit ramp, I hold my breath.
Why does my heart still grow cold,
When I think of you?
You won't admit your wrong doings,
Passing the blame around,
Unable to see the truth.
Not allowing it to be seen,
Lies fill your heart,
I once was lost,
I felt alone in this world and empty,
I felt like life was not worth the cost,
My insides were hollow,
And my heart feeling hefty,
Why to live?
What do I have to give?
Today I called you,
I'm not so sure why now.
I was calling because I wanted to,
wasn't asking, wasn't begging;
I guess that threw you off somehow.
I was talking about life,
trying to be nice.
The calendar keeps sneaking up on me.
I'm leaving home soon.
I think about how everyone will keep living their lives
and all will go on without me
and it keeps me from worrying about my mother.
Why do you do this,
it makes me so sad;
I wish I could tell you.
how much it makes me mad.
You don't listen to me,
even when you're wrong;
It tears me apart,
and I never feel strong.
it all began a few years ago,
My eyes were opened, now i cant let it go.
It's my mom
she is the REAL bread winner in the fam
its a shame what she has for as a man
she works and works and nothing pays off
You indure the valleys lows
the world could be yours
climb the frozen mountains
the world could be yours
travel through the grassy plains
the world could be yours
you left us treading for life at a crucial time
assuming our emminate doom.
you still walked away
(poems go here)Ser Inmigrante Mexicano no es cosa del otro mundo
Significa trabajar tres veces más fuerte,
dormir con preocupaciones,
vivir con sueños,
I never knew how much you meant
Until the day you came and went.
So many things that weren’t said
Rattle around inside my head.
I spill my tears in ink
I just wanted closure
I wanted to start a new chapter
I longed for the day I could move on
And let go of the one person I was chasing after
I cried oceans of tears at night
Thank you for not being around
Thank you for letting me see how amazing my mother is
Thank you for making me feel as though something was missing
Thank you for not being there.
I watched my motherfrom under water. Therewas a perfume risingoff the morning sea.She sang slow andbreathed it all in.
She watched my heartslowly softening.
My father is a jokerand I love him with all my hearteven though his jokesaren't funny at all
Screaming,crying,breathing heavily,these were never in the brocure that they gave me
(poems go here) Family is family
You cant pick or choose them
Some may be loud obnoxious && rude
Some maybe sweet && kind or fine tuned
There not going anywhere
So get used to the crew
Like a best friend,
Poetry is there.
It is always open,
And it is always fair.
Like a mother,
Poetry is there.
It will always accept you,
No matter what you dare.
Death, is a jealous fellow
he has no age, grace, nor liking
it considers not woe, nor sorrow
he displays a complete arbitrary arrival
he does not consider survival
and lingers with denial
As a young child I held in a lot of anger,
Negativity, rage, unlocked power.
Such an opinionated mind never exposed,
Due to my shy need to keep my mouth closed.
“The words never come out right!”
Father and Me
From the Forest of Bamboo, the paths
Lead to a small hut built for tea.
We are offered an unknown delight
I hate my fathers hands.
I hate how delicate and fragile they are
yet my life goals live through each bruise and scar engraved on them
that have kept a roof over my head and food on the table.
"Sam, call 911."
my brother, 8 at the time, looks up at our dad. Sam's face is clouded with fear and confusion.
"Right now Sam, call 911"
As a watermelon
On the Earth
Rooted, not strong
Kissing burning dirt
While to me the tall tree beared no shade
Stood by me with no shame
Not one leaf above me
And that hunger for the weak
I say now, to the man who used to make my heart bleed,
I love you even more.
And when, those flooding tears stream,
I love you like before.
Because I’ve decided to break those wretched chains,
"Daddy?"
"Yes, Sweetheart"
"I love you"
I write for the one who gave me brown hair and eyes,
For the one who sang me my favorite lullabies.
The swing set he built, my rocking horse by hand,
It's been two years since my father passed away.
Your battle is now over, no more tears flowing down your cheek,
no more pain, no more suffering, now you are no longer weak.
The river embraced its one true form
To travel its depths through hail and storm.
Through the village and through the town
Through the kingdom that once was crowned.
I can’t feel bad for what he did,
Or what he never said.
I can’t feel sad or anything,
Even though he is dead.
He left her as a baby,
Saying nothing, not even a goodbye,
To his little baby girl he left
To my anonymous adolescent,
I’m sorry.
Sorry for suppressing your existence and never giving you the chance to clock in and serve your time here on this earth.
Hell is his empty syringe
And the searing pain of his emptiness.
Hell is the heat of the absence
That grows hotter in his presence.
Hell is the tears that evaporate
Tainted words
Attempting to create a bleak truth of you
But my memory stays pure
Nothing they say
Can penetrate
How I remember
The way you took care of me
Treated me older than I was
Do you remember me?
The one who calls you daddy?
I used to smile
like you'd say
as bright as the stars
I'm sorry if its unrecognizable now
Pain can really change you
I saw him once in my entire life,
I was nine,
I still remember how he looked like,
Nothing like how I imagined,
Wearing an old navy blue cap,
The smell of dirt and oil rubbed off him,
Who are you?
Who are you to me?
You are my father?
Oh... I see...
A father is a protector,
Defender of the land.
Chasing out the monsters,
And letting sweet dreams come to land.
I left the birthing house
a while ago.
A haven of mournful mothers
and cries of new breaths pierced the air—
absent the slap of fathers.
When I was younger, my father left home.
They thought he had a heart made out of gold,
But side by side the Lord and Devil hung
in that chamber of his inner being.
“Don’t spend your heart all in one place, mortal.
At such a young age, I just couldn’t understand.
Why in the world would he leave?
Of course I blamed myself.
My father was my hero, my one and only guy.
To me, his leaving only forced us apart.
(I open my eyes and see no male figure there
trying to reach for a person with no care
how can someone not care of about a child you helped to get here
He says he’s broken all the time,
there’s something wrong with his head:
There are monsters in there
that push to get out.
It’s almost funny
because he’s the most whole person I’ve known.
Since the beginning you were there for me,
Some one must have said a prayer for me,
Cause no matter what you always cared for me,
Would you be proud?
If you had never closed your eyes for the last time
and woke up to me now?
Would you be proud?
knowing I've made mistakes.
Maybe ones that make me ashamed.
But despite all that,
Scared and alone
No one around for miles
To just lend an ear.
You traveled for days
Just hoping to find someone
Who would care.
People cannot fill this void,
Humans cannot make you whole.
Crystallized drops of dew descend from skies
Which spill their frozen tears onto the Earth.
The careless sun has undermined their worth,
Rendering their heart cold as slowly dies
seventeen years i've spent
trying with all my strength
to make you happy
but maybe i should try
to make me happy instead
Tears burn my gentle face
What hurts me the most
Is knowing there's nothing I can do
But look up at the midnight sky
And pray you know how much I miss you
My first heartbreak and you weren't there
You held me in 1994 for the first time
Since then you fed me. clothed me.
And a life full of love and joy
Taught me how to be wiser
Showed me how to shine my brightest
It started the moment he stopped
rubbing their backs, and giving horsey rides
on the living room carpet.
It started the moment he began
to frequent the bar twenty minutes away
instead of coming home for supper.
I bet you don’t know the man he has become
With all the lies spreading form his lungs
What was branches are now roots
We are but rotting fruits
Dear Mr. Marine,
I'm praying for your safety,
Don't fill my worst of fears.
Even though I am strong,
there's a river-perpetual tears.
Love,
Your daughter
Walking inside a white marble,
Legions of snowflakes in the air,
Like torrents of feathery arrows they swoop,
Tucking-in the ground bare.
Every morning Dad comes home
Exhausted and shattered by his work
The money wouldn’t be asked more.
Fumblingly his hands in the kitchen
Quick cooking for breakfast as dinner,
Quick eating but no one asking for.
They are the only people who will love you unconditionally.
Even when you don't particularly like yourself.
They are the only people you can truly trust.
People that you can put your faith into.
Hey there Dad, get your gun
let's go to the woods for some fun.
The weather is mild and not too bright,
cotton tails been out all night.
(poems go here) What right?
What right?
What right do you have to criticize?
What right do you have to talk down about me?
You were never there!
You left and never looked back!
With a traffic state of mind I can’t seem to find a friendly distraction to ease the pain of the twisting kaleidoscope known as my heart.
Life is tough, so full of problems; look everywhere
Pregnant teen girls aborting, drunk drivers crashing
Oppressed children, drug addicts, couples breaking
Prejudiced against Muslim girls with covered hair
My dad lifts my new electric blue Schwinn Mountain Bike onto his shoulders
and hauls it into the garage. He takes a wrench and adjusts the pipes
with the precision of a poet, pulling them to fit my height. I stretch
Life is short
we all know
the sun comes
and the sun goes
The memories we make
and forever keep
I try my best
to hold back tears
Rain pours
and the sun sets
The end of the day
On the silver chandelier, there's a swinging spider monkey
Wearing a captain's hat, and waving a broomstick.
Jeffrey tells his mother, in the politest of tones,
"Mr. Jumps is at it again!"
A father’s love
Is a hug you always cherish.
A father’s love
Is when he threatens your date at the door.
A father’s love
Is when he is always willing to listen,
Even when he does not understand.
We wear the mask when we feel vicious.
Sometimes, everyone is lugubrious.
Satan wants us to feel alone,
So on goes the mask so no one will know
Our feelings of hurt and guilt.
Her little hands grew big
As did her little feet
But her big big eyes
Her big expressive eyes
Remained.
And it saddened me
That the birdies
Would be lucky enough
To be looked at with
You’ve left us in your sleep,
and made your way to somewhere new,
without a sound you would creep,
up to the place with a spot saved for you.
We never wished for this day to come,
Suffocating in darkness
As a diseased light paved my way
I attempted to scale the barriers
That separated me from the outside where life thrived
I carry weight.
I carry small things and big things.
I hold the tangible and intangible.
I carry what is critical, and I also carry utter bullshit.
There once was a rose.
She was the most beautiful rose I've ever seen,
But, one by one, her petals began to fall.
The first one fell from lying to the world
And lying to herself
Through my eyes
Your see the fear and pain.
A very negative pain that could hurt for life,
With nothing more than hate for you.
The fire inside my eyes
Darkens as I speak
When I speak the oceans rise
And fall at my feet
When they fall I pick them up
And scatter them all around
A drop of love for every broken soul
How do you know for sure this isn't the last time you are going to hold me tight and let me dance on your feet?
My Mother
I love my mother with all my heart...
Even when we’re far apart...
She lights up my midnight skies...
She held my head up high...
Makes me laugh when I’m about to cry...
The first time he tried to teach me to drive stick
I crumbled over the steering wheel
chest heaving as though an earthquake
had pried open my ribcage,
my lungs having too much space to breathe.
My perception, the same direction
A hefty blessing
Neglect
I learned my lesson
Unplanned events and
A face that looks exactly like the miracle sperm created
Is it too late to tell you
---I love you
Did you hear my screams
---I hate you!
Can I say we had good ole days?
---I needed you? I need you?
I don't know
Fuzzy, confused thoughts
Let him say goodbye
To his chickens
Before you grab
His favorite Phillips head
You have to find
The tiny screws
Hidden amongst his
Worn with age tattoos
You are Newports on any day
smoke fuming from the sleeves of a military jacket
coiling like dragon's breath in moonlit air
Before I never really saw you much
And when I did we were always in a rush
It’s true that I loved you then
But now I feel the love that could have been
The kind of love a father and daughter share
You call me son.
I call you by name.
The things you have done
You should be ashamed.
You say you are a better man,
You want me to see.
My eyes are open
To the man who stands before me.
What defines a man?
His looks,money, success
Or his strength
Everyone has thier own idea
Some men have to be tall
Others short
But does all that make you a man?
No...
Love and compassion
You were not there
Father where were you when I took my first step?
You were not there
Father where were you when my first word was “dada”?
You were not there
Father where were you when I took my first step?
You were a soft as Angels' wings
And lasted only a second or two
Why, butterfly, did you only bring
Your sweetness when Daddy came too?
Daddy tucked me in at night
And you would brush my face.
Raging under a constant turmoil
Dealing with concepts so foreign
What are the Taliban, ak-47s, and fear?
As a child I did not understand these things.
Please Dad, come home.
I've always thought myself my mother's daughter.
Our red-gold-brown hair glitters and waves.
Our curves hark back to her grandmother,
And it's because of her that I must pluck and shave.
Such little hands
With little fingers
Such small feet
With little toes
Sandy loves to play outside
Sandy loves to sing as loud
as she can
Sandy loves to love things
She loves pink and dresses
Your love never fails me.
It is everlasting.
It is so wonderful that it fills me
with hope and love that's so fulfilling.
You caress me like a mother that's so caring.
The movie starts playing and the popcorn is hot,
Candles are lit and the front door is locked.
We're lying together with her head on my chest,
My heart mere beats from cardiac arrest.
You feel alone don't you?
Your heart is aching with an unbearable pain.
He hurt you. And he was the one you trusted most.
He broke that and you are mad and upset.
Your left your past behind,
Along with me.
Had you forgotten?
The man who you were supposed to be?
Afraid it will come back
Up like a shadow
Up like his smoke
Rolling in with the tide
Even when I hide
I'm afraid it will find me
I'm afraid I'm still to week to fight
Because I remember how
The best fairy tales all start the same, with once upon a time.
They ebb and flow. They twist and turn and sometimes even rhyme.
But maybe what makes them so special is not the stories themselves,
I’m sick of these family ties holding me back,
And if I ever tried to leave you’d be right there to put me right on track.
Chastise me and ridicule me for everything I lack.
Ask me how I am I’ll lie and say I’m grand.
A yell, a hit, a tear.
Sounds echo in my thoughts
Why am I ignorant? Why do I lie?
I dream; I don’t remember
Well it's nothing new,
Nothing to shake the rattles in the mind
My father,
With the eyes of a small boy and the mind of an ox.
My father,
Who resembles my future husband.
My father,
The sound of my laugh and the pitter-patter of my feet when I was five,
Leathery hands,
Worn out with age and toil.
Exquisite posture,
Standing as tall and straight as a tree.
Gentle lips,
Kissing cheeks at midnight when home from work.
Shiny head,
Dad,
Sorry for getting mad,
I sometimes forget that you’re my dad.
With all the memories we’ve depleted,
there’s no way it’s been completed.
We’ll always laugh, we’ll always kid,
His dad always told him
“You can do anything
Be anything”
And he believed him
Some days he was a
Dancer
Director
Dentist
Or even a
Dinosaur
But never was he a doctor.
Look what he did to me
Im here crying like im dying.
No i dont want to believe you left me behind.
The memories that i once had was awhile back
when you were there and cared were i was at.
