Dear Father

 

We drive back to your house

All smiles and giggles

Ice cream and pool time

The perfect family

 

You hold me in your arms

And tell me you’re proud

You tell me you love me 

That I’m the best daughter

 

Your words mean so much

I crawl into your lap

I tell you I love you too

And that you’re the best father

 

Not a care in the world

Just like it should be

But later that night

As the bottles grow empty 

 

You become different

No longer as loving

Who is this man

Who’s taken my father?

 

And I beg you 

My little hands clasped tight 

to please stop the drinking

and be the man you are before night

 

Oh father, dear father 

Please put down the drinks

I love you, I need you

From your aching daughter

 

You tell me I’m hopeless

I get in the way

You say things would be better

If I went to mom’s house to stay

 

These nights I would swear

I just wanted to run

Run away, far away

and never come back

 

But we would wake up in the morning

and everything was fine

“I love you,” you’d say

I guess you changed your mind

 

The day would go great

But I began to know

that as days turned to night

the alcohol would show

 

Tears streaming down my face

In the next family war

I tried my hardest to help you 

but you’d just slam the door

 

Oh father, dear father

Please put down the drinks 

I love you, I need you

From your aching daughter

 

I know you can do it

I have so much faith

You tell me you are

You just need some space

 

I step back 

You promise you’ve stopped

My hopes held high

Then crushed to the floor

 

As later that night

Your personality changes 

And I know, I just know

that your promise was broken

 

I try to ask you

To tell you I care

And ask why you sipped

You had gotten somewhere

 

But yelling erupts

And you target my heart

Like I’m the cause of the pain

Like it’s all my fault

 

I cried so hard

For the next six years

The tears never stopped

My mind never strayed

 

You would promise me again

Again and again

I was hopeful and trusting

You were getting somewhere

 

Over and over

I would believe you

That you were stopping

For the love of your daughter

 

I can be manipulated only so many times

deluded and cheated

Before even “I love you”

starts to feel like a lie

 

Don’t you remember

I’m your little girl

How could you let me down

When you’re my whole world?

 

But this isn’t for me

No, no it’s for you

You will be proud

When you say you’ve been true

 

Been true to yourself

For all of those days

You’ve had your mind set forward

and kept it that way

 

So I ask you one more time

Father, please father

Please put the drinks down

From your aching daughter

 

But I know your response

To my words I cry out

You will make me a promise

Say that you care

 

But tonight what you’ll do

is put your hands on another

and drink it all down 

Because I’m your daughter

 

 

 

 

Comments

acapnomore

Such an amazing poem, so truthful and really well put! My dad was just the same your poem really helped. Thank you

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