To a Functioning Alcohlic

Dear Dad,


its been years, continuous 


I want you to know 

You can not baptize yourself in Liquor 

That ocean is not holy


I want you to know 

Your liver will drown, get sicker

Those alters of scar tissue

Only prayers for failure


I want you to know

You are the Father, the Son, the Husband

You are that which flickers,

We are that which is to keep you burning


I want you to know 

We need your warmth longer


I want you to know

I love you has lost meaning 

You’ve slurred the words so often

They are blurry to me 


I want you to know

I don’t pray anymore

Ive lost faith in you 

those nightly spirits

are far from holy


I want you to know

There are days

I miss the anger and rage you had


You repaint moms mugshot around our arguments

As if you are not imprisoned  

The cell walls the inside of your skull

sealed-by dependency


There are days

I miss the hard flesh of your hands against my face 

On those days I could have proof of anguish 

On those days I knew it was real 


There are days

I wish you would pass

Crucifying yourself around a telephone pole

To end your suffering

to end ours

 to absolve us 


Please forgive me Father

For I can’t bear the sight of you

A man

Who is no longer there.


Think about it, 

Your bastard daughter 

This poem is about: 
My family


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