It's funny because I said I had dad issues
You seemed disappointed when I said I didn't want children
So eventually I agreed.
You'd be a better father than mine was
I'd be a better mother than yours was.
We would have a daughter who wasn't afraid to say
"My boyfriend is out of control"
We would have a son who wasn't afraid to say
"I need help"
We would have a child that wasn't afraid to say
"Can we change my name?"
Rolled around too fast
I was five hundred miles away
And your lips had drifted into a room that smelled of whiskey
Rolled around when I didn't know it
Rolled around when I was coating my insides with Vicodin
And my outside with cuts
And to my this day, today baby,
I am sorry.
I did not know.
And whether you died from me
Or the absolute insanity and dysfunction of our chromosomes
So I told him about you.
Just once we carried a conversation.
It was short lived as you, baby.
That was the final line.
He never talked about you like my father never talked about me.
So I did all I could.
I named you.