Heavenly Father

Location

Hello Satan, Father of Lies

Father of mine

Guess I’ll adopt myself into your family

Since half of mine is Heaven

And I’m the heathen

And I’m up heating up my hands

From the cold shoulder from this “father of mine”

“Family of mine”

People I’ve never met

Hugging and I ain’t even say hi yet

But I’ll let them talk

‘Bout my childhood but I only remembering them

Walk-in out of my life

They were never present

And where was your name on my Christmas present?

I only got the gift of absence

But my memory’s hazy

Cause I’ve been too busy drowning it in absinthe

And smoke is filling up the cracks where it will fit

So Satan, would you mind taking me?

I’m broken so hold me under your broken wing

Give me a minute and I’ll show you how bad I can be

Give me minute and you’ll see

Everything you missed about me

Dad, hey this is your son

And this is what I’ve become

All because of what you’ve done

But hey like father like son… right?

At least that’s what keeps me up at night

I’ve got too many demons to fight

But you never taught me how to fight

So don’t be surprised when I succumb to this blight

You’ve been corroding my conscious constantly

But I keep calling you my Christ

 

My savior is sleeping on his duties

My savior is saying he’ll be here soon

But I’m staring at the sky until I’m seeing stars

Dawn delivers and Dusk departs

Been months waiting for your car

You say you’re a part of me, but do you even know my heart?

Or my soul?

Did you know it’s cold?

And this ice isn’t melting so don’t expect Flood

I burned your body and I’ve spilled all the blood

And if love is blind then I need some mud

Because I’m not seeing you around

Your perfect love is nowhere to be found

Maybe you just aren’t hearing my prayers

But I swear to God I’m screaming them loud.

Where are you Holy Father?

Oh great Father, are you in the kingdom of the divine?

You and that entire family of mine?

Took a trip up north and didn’t tell me

Did you think I just wouldn’t see?

Why am I missing your devotion?

Do I have to kill myself to get your attention?

How far do I have to lower my expectations?

Or should I abandon any hope of relation?

Are you in heaven or in hell, Father?

Will you let me know which is farther?

Now I’m lost in Limbo without a guide

Getting darker and there’s nowhere to hide

Looking in the mirror, I see you, Mr. Hyde

Or is it Boyd or Hawkins or is either fine?

Are either mine?

 

I don’t even know who I am anymore

But people telling me I’m you at the core

So now I’m wondering what it’s all for

If I’m just going to walk out my baby’s door

Just to be with a different whore

And my kid will write poems about me

How he hates me

Wants to kill me

Never wants to be me

If the future is bleak do I really wanna see what I’m going to be?

The present is killing me every day

And these broken hearts are filling up my doorway

So there’s no way out of this maze

Worried I’ve finally lost my way

I want my mom to be proud of me

I want my niece to smile when she hears stories about me

But I gotta figure out who I want to be

 

Bloody bastard, I’m breaking my ears waiting for you to call

Breaking my neck waiting for you to fall,

Christ, if I’m the son of God then this son is kinda odd

'Cause no one knows my name

And I’m starting to think I’m to blame

But is it my fault he don’t know how to aim?

I never asked to be player four of this game

Take me to church and free my sins, Father

Drown me in all the Holy Water

Before I fall for the Devil’s barter

Look in to Satan’s eyes and see my Father

Look around see the cult I’m in

Carving crosses into my crooked chest and sins

Superficial sacrificial sayings “saving my spirit and crooked grin

Fatherly talismans telling me where I’ve been

And where I’m gonna go

And who I gotta know

But they don’t know what I’ve been through or where I gotta go

What do they know this family of mine?

Absent this whole

Absent at the finish line

Any otherwise and they all lying

 

I miss you, Father

I miss all my brothers

But I must be a bother

Cause I’m feeling second place to all others

God forbid you try again

God forbid you try to get in

This door is locked and it has been, you has-been

All these lies you fed have come to fin.

Tell me something beautiful

Please tell me something hopeful

Cause all this beauty and hope is feeling sinful

and it’s all fuckin pitiful.

Thanks, dad.

Guess you true to the fad

of black fathers leaving glad

but hey, I’m not even that mad.

So yeah, thanks, Dad.

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