Thinking
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Only at night I freely write
Labyrinth mind swirling
Creating, building, and exploring
Towers of riddles to climb
It'll take a true seek and find
An equally Labyrinth mind
I tried.
I tried.
I tried; I really fucking tried.
You're in my mind all damn day and I can't stop thinking about you.
As embers in the night,
you set my heart on fire
intense and violent, wildly out of control
spreading intensely
i find myself lost in the thought, that is "you"
though maybe it was my own wishful thinking
For the first time,
after locking up my heart
after building these walls
im ready to leave this comfort zone
this space I've created where I stopped letting others get close
im ready to leave it all behind,
THINKING ABOUT YOU
Thinking about you and seeing you in an every imaginations. Yet crave your voice to hear, can't get asleep I think I fell in the water for you. Love in the air. Thinking about you.
#C9_fm
Now I’m A Critical Thinker So REFUSE To Wear Blinkers...
When It Comes To Things That NEED ANALYSING... !!!
Well To ME They Do But It’s Clear That Most Choose...
To Just... ACCEPT What Government Heads...
Ya Know......
These Days I’m MORE Discerning....
When Studying My Learnings...
of How Some Minds Be Working...
The Snowy Hollow
Trees reach up
Like long slender hands
Over the stillness.
All is hushed
There is no need for
Words.
Hey, I gotta deal with trauma before it deals with me
I think about you often but not all the time
What are you like when emotions arise?
And how do you look like when you rise?
Wake up in the nighttime, I see the stars.
Twinkle Twinkle little star, now i know just where you are.
This feeling's overwelming, I hope I'm just pretending.
This feeling in my heart, it just keeps extending.
Have you ever wondered
Where all that it's rained?
All at the same time
And how many people that's pained?
Flood gates open
Right over the heads
Today was like every other day
It was so terribly long and so terribly dreary
I fear these feelings will never end
I’ll always feel so dark feel so hopeless
It’s when you sit down and your ass already hurts.
The lamp shade remains crooked, but you put it off
Until tomorrow and you start falling into that place;
The place without walls, but filled with floaty feelings,
You walk in, steaming water running down your sides,
Like a different world, you stand there just thinking,
It's been a rough day, one worth reflecting on,
I run my hands down over my head
Outlining the shape of my skull
And wonder
This year runs, the next one sprints
Summer birthdays start to lose meaning
I'm obsessed,Obsessed with death.
I love to picture my own end. Will it be by my own hands?An enemy's? Will I be a hero? Or will I grow old?
I'm obsessed,
It's late and I lie awake just thinking.
Thinking about everything around me.
Thinking about the choices I have made.
Choices I'm more than just happy with.
I forget them in the day time, all the little lights
At me they wave and blink and do their damndest to get my attention, but I pay them no mind
I used to be deranged and I know this is strange,my life got rearranged,from the inside I got changed,suddenly sucess is in my range.<br></br>I'm 25 years old, yet I feel like an infantI'm known for metaphores, and this song will be no
The voice in my headIt keeps yelling for reliefFrom the pain I feel inside of meA thoughtThat remedy can be sought from anywhereAnd not found anywhereNo matter the effort given
There's nothing more I'd like to do,
then snuggle in close and fall asleep with you..
[I] approach the tipping point
the straw that broke [my] back.
at a loss for words
expression has no expression, is not an expression
anymore.
the way [I] feel
when all the words - all the thoughts
The voice of my voice
The leader of all I do
The right and wrong
You are the advisor
The decider
The leader
You've shaped my life
Told me what to do
And what not to do
The constant penetration of the
thought of my body carressed
nude in the wet sand,
quivering beneath the
yellow rose bandana
has me asking why I'm here.
Perpetual flicking of my wrists
I walk on a thin line. The one that leads to nothing. On either side, a place I am scared to be. I walk in hope of something to revive me.
Free your mind, free your mind
What does it mean, really, to "free your mind?
Is it to have a brain with no thought? Like weight with no size?
There was an unknowing poet once
Never had he tried to express himself.
However once he had, it came in abundance.
While enjoyed, lifestyle it did not engulf.
The silent and hidden poet can forget or ease
A thought comes to me
And I can't help but write it down
Lest it troubles my mind
Keeps it confined
To repetitive, uninterrupted, cycles
All in the hope of preserving thoughts
I know you don’t understand this, but my heart thinks about you literally every second when I’m not talking with you.
When I was a child I wanted to be so famous that I would be able to touch the star.
Trust me if I could meet him again I would ask what makes him dream so far?
When we kissed I felt it threw out my whole body, not gonna lie I’m as scared as I can be.
How did this happen, I planned to do this carefully.
For it to be a simple fling, and look what’s happening to me.
Don't you find it beautiful,
How the moon allows the sun to shine,
On her precious earth.
She loves the earth so much that
She allows someone else make it look beautiful.
I don’t have any time to be complaining. Time is running out, it is slipping through me like silk slips through one’s fingertips. I don’t have time to be unhappy and disrespectful and unworthy. I don’t have time to be unworthy.
Bright
Sunny
Clean
Runny
It can be blinding, or it can be mellow.
The sun’s blissful, golden, daisy flower yellow.
My mind is afloat with many ideas,
Thoughts are ignited inside the eye of things which cannot be erased.
Can this path of life lead to the place that I can call home,
I'm always sorry.
I look at boys sometimes and think, "Damn, I bet he's never been in love."
I always think I can fix things, especially, it seems, when they're not broken.
I'm trying to write down these thoughts but the pencils break
and all i'm looking at is a blank page
My mind screams at me to listen
Everyone else tells me to forget
Then the man beckons me closer
I think maybe I am in love
With The Smiths.
I think maybe that’s a bit of a
Problem.
You see, I think too much.
Who knew the sins of the past,
would resurface in the future?
Might I ask,
What would you do if you made
I'm still thinking about school......
You don't really know
What words are worth
Until you live them out
The words at first seem fleeting
Until you take them seriously
until that promise keeps echoing in your head
and you wonder
She closes her eyes, takes in a deep breath.
She’s thinking of all the excuses she’ll have to make.
And all the reassuring comments.
“There’s just something in my eye.”
“Yes, I’m sure I’m okay.”
Look here, Look there, Look everywhere
I can't stop thinking of what I do
Everytime, I overthink
It's not easy to over protect
to over analyze
to over guess
I'm tired of being afraid
FLORIDA, COCA-COLA, A TYPEWRITER
I moved to Florida because I wanted to write a book.
I moved to Florida because I wanted to drink Coca-Cola on the beach and write a good book.
I never understood
the love in your eyes,
the way your you held me
in your arms,
or the sweet whispers
of your love for me.
I just couldn't grasp it,
even if it was placed
Being alone can be a pain
Have to find a way to stay sane
To grasp that inner kid sensation
You have to have a powerful imagination
Empty thoughts have no sense of fulfillment
My aspirations, desires, and concerns
Fill in the empty spaces that cause me
To provoke, ponder, and practice
Every aspect of life
Every aspect of humanity
Myself, Me, and Iall bottled up insideThe thoughts that I thinkthe questions that I askthe search for morefor better, not to quitIt's not enoughWhat I knowI must know more
Where will we be when the future arrives?
Will we be nothing but dust,
Filling the ground with nothing but cobwebs and our sadness?
Or will we be memories,
It always begins the same. You slide behind a cold cold wheel. The solid black night stretches on forever. You slip trance like as the lights fly by. Each one a life with choices and consequences.
My mind is such a mess.
I wish I could explain.
Am I happy or am I upset?
It's hard to tell with such pain.
Should I even care?
Because at times things aren't fair.
I could feel the change.
Our sweet generation lost in space
Fuck you to the moon
Pissing out of widows and raping the world in a single glance
Can you imagine all puckered lips and spit flying
I stumbled upon a chapel last night Inside was a man with a mirrored face gesturing for me to enter He does not speak but continues to motion and reflect my demeanour
I will continue to write Until the day that I fall Fall into the ground Or let my thoughts overrun me. The day will eventually come When I can't get them out quick enough My mind runs out of space
We can only climb as high,
As low as we can sink.
I love how you keep my head in the sky,
And never put a reign on the power of think.
I grew roots into soil I never wanted;
Gloom in Bloom Gloom in Bloom
In happiness and tomb
With treasure and help
With hurt and yelp.
With fun and sun
With God and non
Alone, in quiet
My heart is ariot.
Feelings are swelling
Dumb luck,
Dumb hope.
I'm a sitting duck,
A hurt antelope
When I first saw you
you were a crush
In a minute I hoped
In an hour I wished
In the night I dreamed
I think
But nothing happens
I tell myself to think
But nothing happens
I look around
At the voiceless sound
I try to think
But I can not
We can't think
I can't think
I think I'm insane
when I hear the whispering
of hushed voices behind walls that aren't there
when i look down at my skin
and pick at every tear
I think I'm inSANE
You're not like the others.
You actually listen to me.
From the minute I had met you,
i'll admit, I was unsure where you would lead.
Depression?
Succession?
How can this situation go?
My heart is breaking,
my faith is shaking,
too much is what all of this stress is taking.
Can't calm down,
can't look around,
on the outside I smile.
On the inside I frown...
So tired of life,
I wish the world would go silent
So I could listen to the
drip,
drip,
dripping
Of the water leaking in from the cracks in the walls
Filling up this tiny room.
As the air escapes
As a boy I was always told to get a great career and always make sure that I am on the path towards success.
As a teen I was told to stay out the streets, keep my head in the books, and to do my best.
We put coats on our souls
Flashy pattern is shown off to the world
When what we require
Is the plainness on the inside
We hide our
Simplicity
And flaunt our complexity
These people be looking at me like I'm crazy
Like the shit I been doing ain't the right shit maybe
Maybe I'm loosing my mind
I haven't been feeling right lately
Like all these demons inside been tryna step out on me
People think they have me figured out
That smiling, funny girl
Described as me
But that's the cover of I
I hide more underneath my skin than the anatomy books say is there
Tears saved till it's too much
A joking matter but you took it seriously
You protected me as a knight to a princess
But you are no knight and i am no princess
Especially not yours
So why protect me when you have left me before
How do you smile when all you want to do is cry?
How do you explain your feelings when you can't explain?
How do you laugh when its hurts to smile?
How? Can you tell me?
How can you miss someone who was never physically there
Never felt their touched or the texture of their hair
Never held their hand or kissed their lips
Yet they seem to be the only person you miss
Pressing further down the road.
Pressing harder on the petal.
Racing my way-
To the thought of you.
At the end of this road,
I see me coming home.
Back to you.
Gripping the steering wheel,
If you love people you must be able to accept and tolerate a spectrum of personalities.
Be prepared for the worst,... someone might actually tolerate you for an extended
I have this consistent habit,
This overwhelming-
Not desire,
But force that pushes-
Not pulls.
Dragging me into overthought.
Overthinking is the death for me-
The thing that will drag me down.
Choke
Choking on bile
Fresh from my soul
My eyes collect
The wretched substance
I will fight
Never let the monster out
Please,
Turn around
Your innocence,
It blinds me
Fighting fire with fire
Is not very wise
But when overcome with hatred
Sadness
and Demise
Eyes get set on erasing
Ultimately defacing
A person to a thing
Losing its self as a being
Thinking Thinking
Always thinking
The thoughts I sometimes
don't even
understand
They change the way that you are
to fix your ideas
into neat little boxes
For control
For they
Who am I? That's a loaded question.
We are all dense individuals, filled like an overflowing dam with ideas, experiences and contexts.
Once upon a time,
A day went by.
Then another,
And another.
So many words.
So many seconds,
Thoughts,
Actions.
I wondered why
I've wasted so much
On things
And people
I think the saddest word is maybe
Maybe I did It
Maybe it was not me
Maybe I will never admit
If I may be a good girl
Maybe I should wait
I have trouble keeping my imaginary body together,
Free from the safe house of epidermal covering and rippling plasma
I used to be enamored, in love with the entity that led me to my self-destruction
Thinking, thinking, what am I thinking?I can feel my eyelids close as I continue blinking.
Boy,
Why do you keep on askin
If I'm takin?
If someone's catchin
My attention?
You should be thinkin
That me and you aren't goin
To be somethin.
Sometimes I live and sometimes I die
Sometimes I look in the mirror and ask why
I never understood why the reflection stayed
There are times I scream out to the stars,
Thinking of you and all these times, so hard.
Your writhen thoughts had unexplainable august about them,
I wonder from what this could stem?
They have remarkable semblance to knotted fingers,
The way each twines into my mind and lingers,
Drawing me in,
" i just don't have the proper training to deal with your...condition...i hope you understand."
i nod, because yes, i do understand.
i understand that when you look at the scars on my thigh and ankle, you get chills
You tell me I'm unique and they say I'm a freak.
Excuse me, sir; but who gave any of you permission to speak?
You would think someone with a disease would have problems in school such as socializing or generally fitting in. Growing up down south and moving to New York city was a huge change for me.
Mr. Clock, why are you so mean?
Every time I'm havin fun time flees,
Yet every time I am unhappy you won't leave.
Mr. Clock, your hands are evil,
They control me in every way.
I woke up on a dirty mattress on the floor of a friends house. It's my 16th birthday. A huge milestone in a young persons life.
The first day of middle school, dread and fear.
This is what started my eighth grade year.
I knew no one, not one single friend
The worlds a stage and we are just mere actors, But the stage is too large, the lights to bright The audience won’t like us if we aren't just right Just the right amount of funny, pretty, smart, kind We panic under the pressure but it’s all just
You see that person sitting alone?
That person hiding pain behind a smile?
Had you even looked into their file
Would you not have seen the suffering?
Would you not understand?
You see that person?
I sit quietly ignoring the pain, but she whispers to me. I try to eat, but she whispers to me. I try to laugh and almost succeed, but she whispers to me.
What is she whispering?
Hate. Slander. Lies.
Poetry is the vein etched from my brain and flowing ideas into my hand
With my creation wielded before me
Violence, much happens to people who keep silence
Oppression led the oppress to depression
One gun can kill many sons
Teenage girls are confused, all bruised
I have been gone too long,
living in the past.
Trapped by all the mistakes,
I have ever made.
Remembering everytime,
I let someone down.
But it is time to move on,
Look at the world with hopeful eyes,
Never let them see you down,
put that razor away, put that lighter away
Don't hurt yourself anymore, please, don't frown.
I wish your depression would you see yourself
Every night...
Senses show smite;
Cut Clean Clever Closure.
I dare you to drive down dusk demise...
yet nobody knows the prize!
A mite mind might miss minutes...
before realizing its coexistence.
I have an associates degree at eighteen
but I haven't made it , to everybody else my goals are just... dreams
just because i have a limp, i have no potencial it... seems
on top of that im Mexican with a love for hip hop,
When I hike, I am in sync.
And when I'm in sync, I clearly think.
My poles hit the rocks sounding out a clink,
The repititious noise setting rhythm to the thoughts I think.
When I clearly think,
What’s in the glass?
Is the glass half empty or half full?
Pessimism versus Optimism
Both have their pros and cons
A person, full of pain and sorrow, a heart that is parted in the middle, held together with one thread of hope and faith…
All the things I love about you.I love it when you open your eyes in the morning, and sometimes you look a little disgruntled.
Dear Person Who Deserves to Die a Fiery Death While Simultaneously Being Eating By a Shark,
Please don't say I'm perfect because you'll soon find out I'm not,
I have some imperfections, to be honest quite a lot,
I don't want to disappoint you, because on your pedestal I can't stay,
You plan a future, though it's not promised to come.
You plant seeds in your yard, but for weeks, the sun hasn't shun.
You know what you like, and know what you do,
They're never the same, it's even obvious to you.
Write all my wrongs.
I hit my highs and I'm gone.
You make it easy to stay,
Grounded, and well rounded.
I wish I recognized the difference
Between how it felt and how it sounded.
"Hello," you say, "Goodmorning. How've you been?"
All I see is heaven
Lights and glory all in one.
It's how you carry yourself,
Carry yourself away from me
Simplicity isn't always a bad thingIn the autumn I like to jump in leavesRun in the rain in the springIn the summer I can make sunteaFuck winterThe stars are what keeps me grounded
No matter how much you hate, you have to love.
No matter how much you lie, you have to tell the truth.
dealing with reality,
Most times my thoughts are simple
A small idea
They seem doable
But out of no where they grow rampant
Like a cells undergoing mitosis at a dangerous rate
Then doubt starts overtaking.
You say this pain is my fault
that i put this gapeing hole in my chest
when all i tryed to do was set you free
from your monster inside
i put myself in harms way over and over again
i tryed to help
im falling in this hole. a place of no return.
where no emotion shows, we are forced to burn.
incinerate ourselves so that the pain subside.
-Dreamers are dreamers, we all dream of something
-Some dreamers are "fake-believers", and those become "unachievers"
-To find what drives you, and imbrace it, is actually living the "dream"
I reach into the shadows and my hand touches your face,
Every single line of yours my fingers pretend to trace,
I wonder - could this torture last forever?
My love, I'm seeking you in shadows,
Loneliness is like an abyss
A world filled with endless darkness
A place where light is consumed
The heart trembles because darkness laughs
It shivers because the shadows devours the soul
Why Can't You Sleep?
Why can’t I sleep?
WHY can’t I sleep?!
Let’s see how well you sleep with a gun pointed at your head.
it's early.
my phone buzzes numbers at me and my mouth says, "get up get up get up," while my mind says stay here stay here stay here.
The smoke creeps perfect ‘neath and ‘round each hearse,
as liquid darkness consumes the light over all the Earth.
Bodies lay everywhere dead lifeless to noise and sound, to
"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me"
why does she starve herself?
you're fat
those are just words
why does she hate what she sees in the mirror?
you're ugly
Tick, tick, tick,
Tock, tock, tock,
the way in which my brain,
gives way to thought, thought, thought.
One notion to another,
associations then connect,
it brings about my fears,
When I write poetry
I don't just write
I don't think and consider,
Weigh the meanings of my words
And maybe that's wrong, but I don't think so
I feel this urge to find some paper,
Stars Sparkle in the midnight sky
Crickets chirp, Frogs croak, and Fireflies dance flashing their light upon the wall
The light so bright like at a movie premier
The sky
Drowns the world
In silent sorrows
Of its own.
Oversized droplets
Create a harmony
Of misunderstood
Memories.
Like the raindrops
All my Life I been going through the same thing
At times want to give up
Because of all this pain
Trying to prove people wrong
They say I wont change
Well why judge me when they are doing the same thing
I think with emotion,
I feel with my mind,
I Laugh with my anger,
I fear for mankind,
We demolished the villages, "helping them out",
We gave them diseases, I want to shout!
There's a crime that's stuck inside my mind
A life built on this crooked line
I'm lost in these innocent times
My cries are unheard
My destination is absurd
So many crowding around my room
Did you ever love me, like I loved your hands?
On my throat as you choked me with your lips, on hers.
Did you ever want me, like I wanted your attention?
Out of the corner of your eye, when she spoke.
When someone says, "tell me about yourself", they actually mean, "tell me your name and something that makes you important".
When life throws shit at you
You can’t stop and feel blue
Keep your head up and just push through
in your mind
you stand alone
with the white walls and floor
that never seem to end.
step.
nothing.
step.
nothing.
step.
something.
stop.
the floor rumbles as it spreads
Dark shadows underneath those
frosty blue eyes,
smudged with jet black mascara
from a long, hollow night.
The wind blows relentlessly,
the world is still asleep as you
trudge the streets that
Whats the point of faking a smile?
when in all reality your miserable inside
people call you selfish for wanting to die
but your whole life you've faked the smile
so they don't feel guilt
Some need to change how they fulfill their life. Live life. Love it. Do not waste it. I wish they would understand life is a river that will meet waterfalls sometimes.
Don't leave "I love you"
She repeated
Look at how bright the stars shine for you
Its beautiful isn't it
It must be nice to be the new girl kissing you
Im forced to say the truth im not over you
After everything, you were ignoredLike me before, lonely and boredI chose to take a standGave to you my hand
When I was eight years old they told me to stop
At eight years old my academic license expired
I was destined to be average
All because little girls and little boys ridiculed my intelligence
Tonight
I have never seen the stars so bright
So vast, so full of light
I lie on my back, a frail, pale hand reaching toward the heavens
Counting the stars, numbering in sevens.
So you pick on me?
Why?
Do you really hate me like you said?
Or is that a lie.
Like the lies you tell to everyone else saying I did something
Like I am your enemy
Well your mine
Your my enemy
Scars do not mean that the pain is over
Healing deprives me of strength
Ubiquitous flashbacks of the good times
Mingling with frustration, despair and longing
I’ve been trying to retaliate
Sometimes I feel loneliness in my soul, loneliness that even with people around me it can’t be removed
A loneliness that I have since December
Not even with the funniest joke will this great solitude purge.
I feel useless
I feel unloved
I feel like no one contacts me unless they need something
I know it's true because when I need someone,
No one replies
But the second they need me I am there
Today is today, I mean that's what everyone says. But today is the day that I hide , in the shadows, faces of you are revealed in my sight. I'm afraid to ever walk in those steel doors, because with me you have no insight.
She came early today
She said she took the long way
And had something to say
She told me some lies
She told me some truth
She told me she tries
Sometimes what’s the use
#1– O/S:
Your mismatched eyes are so beautiful.
– One of glowing umber, as bright as the fantasy of Neverland,
the ten year old boy sat still
waiting for his mom to drive him to school
his stomach felt ill
the kids called him fool
i look at him
he looks at me
i say keep your head up
it'll get better
I can’t stop thinking about you. When I’m sober or when I’m drunk as all f*ck, you’re the only person that comes to mind. And I ask myself why?
All of a kids high school years, are spent in fear, fear that he'll get picked on because he's fat, walking down the hallways and hears them, pointing, laughing, all for a joke, he sits there and wishes he could choke, every single one of them.
My depression feels like so many things all rolled up into one.
At it's worst, it is overwhelming sadness and a certainty
that I am not good enough and that no one could
ever really love me.
People do not think always when they speak
Some words can change us and set us apart
We have heard it before, fat, fool, fag, freak
These words are like sharp daggers through the heart
I can taste it
no feel it
the warm, crimson colored liquid as it seeped out of my flesh
ahhh FRESH
but as the darkness devours me all I can
think of,
see,
is
you.....
The world is too big for one man to do all the talking
The world is too small for everyone to speak at once
That’s why I’m speaking my mind now
She goes by no name. Nor has any friends. She sits alone watching everyone else smile and laugh.
Everywhere we look, people silently judge, that's what they always do, we think we look fine, we act polite, we dream big and cry inside, everyone is a judge, you just don't know , they could be your best friend, a parent, or just a mere acqainte
For me, my drummer beats,
Da boom, da boom.
He rarely misses a beat and keeps up with my tempo.
When I'm running--
Dadub-dadub-dadub!
Or when I meditate,
Daa boom. Daa boom.
Why would you just stand and watch?
What if it was your friend or family?
Feeling emotionally lost.
Feeling as if no one is there.
Feeling embarassed.
What I Would Change
By Adde Kramer
Sadness
I have a happy voice
that can be heard by fe
ut e people that do hear
i hop are happy too.
You ask what I would change about things in my life, today. Why does the world listen to the media and accept what they say? Why doesn’t internal beauty matter to us more than external looks?
Stop wondrous things and look at this misfortune
A soul has arrived due to physical exhaustion
Just when the positive vibe arrives it leaves a sense of caution
So listen to the spiritual uproar
ahe looked at her scars, her bracelets and then
she told herself "ill never need them again"
she picked up the razor and aimed at her wrist
but something peculiar haooened; she missed.
He said that it was such a stupid thing to have
that I must feel embarrassed
And I was
embarrassed
for the sheer innocence of it all
I didn’t understand why he scorned upon it
hated me for it
I know what its like,
To not belong,
To be called weird,
Just for being me.
I am alone,
I know not what I did,
I know not why,
But I stand alone.
Some say you have to be cruel to be kindI say being cruel is just so you could say hurtful things to othersAnd not care what that person thinks.All my life I have been bullied and witnessed others being bullied
Diseases, diseasesKeep me with Jesus.
My name's not punk,Nor am I junk.To give you a start,I have my own heart.
Guns blaring and people dying, murders live in lives of luxury
Lairs and thieves boast about loot and adventures
They use their talents; increase their wealth as they trample over others.
No one can stop them for long.
Life isn't as easy as people make it look, next time your in class, think, you see that kid acting goofy? The one who sits there and does nothing all class, sits there on his ass and makes comments trying to get you to laugh?
Why must we try,
on something that'll never work?
If just looking at me is painful,
Why even try?
If there is no rhym
nor reason,
then what's the point?
what's there to say?
I’m on the verge of setting free
of all the pretty things left inside me
does that scare you?
she lived through pitch blackness
she held siccors to her stomach for hours on end
she held bottles of bleach in her hands
her tears silently falling as she tried bringing it up to her lips
didn't make the teamlast one to be pickedkicked to the curbbefore the chance was givento be all you could bewith the support of a familynow your homeless
The depth of it all, the rise and the fall. Room 116A, just making sure I'm okay. Tomorrow isn't promised, yesterday wasn't either. Blood steaming like fire, it's like my heart has a fever. Yes, I'm a non believer but I did believe him.
I try but when I know I wasn't trying hard enough, I fell short of making it.I try but when I know I had more on my train of thoughts, I fell short of succeeding it.
Here I amHere I standAwaiting for some form of affectionHere I amHere I standWanting "a life where everything is good"Here I wasHere I stoodLooking at people of past
All the room is silent
Sounds of pens clicking
Teachers flipping through the pages of the same book
Suddenly a girl walks in
She seems different
Smells different, too
Boys snicker and tell her things
Bullying hurt..
No matter how old your are
Step up and say something
More than a 1,000 kids are bullyied
It hurts... I know it does
Make a change to your school and reach out to others
Why such hurtful words?
Did you enjoy the first time you got a tooth pulled cause your cravings called for sweets?
Did you find pleasure while falling from your bike, scraping a chunk of skin off your leg?
The hours she spends to be perfect,
the hours tries to cover her flaws.
She cannot see the beauty within,
she only sees the ugly outside.
If only she could leave the quarrel;
just disappear into thin air.
'What is it? What is it that you see?'
He asked
I choked on silence
Beneath my ribcage was a hollow tree
Don't quit,
When the roads are hard,
And darkness is around you,
Don't ever quit.
You're worth it,
More than the pain,
More than anything,
You are worth more than giving in.
***This Poem was written to help others who have difficulty coping with depression and bullying who need help**
I feel broken and understimated by the people that I deal with in my lifeI'm overcome by the thought that I will never sleep a whole night in my life
I'm constantly moving forward, but it's tearing me apart,
as if I'm stationary, waiting at a bus station in the dark,
When you look at me what do see?Do you see an original or do you see a copy?
Do you see beauty or do you see ugliness?
When you look at me what do you see?
Do you see a rich person or do you see a poor person?
You let others break you And they watch you fall
Do you even try to fight?
To speak up at all?
Or have you been silenced?
By the mocking
And the pain
When they knock you down again
Sitting in this Room,
Mouth clenched shout.
My thoughts keep talking.
I can taste the silence on the
tip of my tongue.
My thoughts keep screaming
Replaying every, why did you do that?
You are beautiful,
You are love,
You are worhy
You are worhy of love that you cannot even begin to comprehend.
This love is everlasting, unconditional, unfailing, never ending.
I sit here with this pen in my hand and this paper on my desk thinking what's to come next I don't know where I'm going or who's to come I listen to the words that I speak from my heart even when I don't know where to start I begin with then go t
It's amazing how you can fall for someone, who see's you as invisible, doesn't care is they break
you
They ponder at you wondering who you are I wish they would know me just like I did for him.
Now he's dead
No one knows why
He committed suicide
On his first try
No one knows the thoughts
that went through his mind
They're afraid to delve deeper
For fear of what they might find
Stuck in the dark, so bland and dry.Tired of remarks, so full of lies.Shutting it out, yet in it seeps.Without a doubt, too many emotions to keep.
High on life, feel so joyous
No more strife, lovely world so glorious
Darkness descends, enveloping joy
Unable to mend, this overlapping ploy
If words could be tasted
Would idiot be sour?
Would oppress be foul?
Would morbid be bitter?
Would smack be acidic?
Or would finesse be like honey?
At first glance you may not see
All the hurt and sorrow that’s me.
I live in a word that resembles this
The pain you cause her, is it worth it?
You don't know her, her life, her story or her thoughts.
Why is it so fun to cause her pain?
What if she goes home and get the same tourment?
Walking down the hall, is like being on display.
People point and laugh, every day.
The fact and the matter is, is that this is not okay.
I know that I can't be the only one who has anything to say.
Your words no longer faze me, they can’t hurt me. I cried at night you made me hate me. Your words cut, cut so deep I watched myself bleed. You with your pretty hair and your perfect skin how can I fight back.
A lot of people wonder why I’m so concerned on listening to people’s problems and respecting people.
Everyone's going to have a bad.
Some people take it a little more seriously.
There are people who need someone.
They sit in their rooms and blame themselves
For EVERYTHING.
And no matter what your scars represent.
They aren't your entire story.
Just an ugly chapter.
But your story goes on.
And it may have several ugly chapters.
I hear this talk
causing this idea to stalk
trying to figure out a way
i can better someone's day
i began to ponder long and hard
but everything sounds like a hallmark card
snap a glimmer of light
Good bye
Try not to cry
Long sigh
Something shatters inside
A new realization
The cycle just completed a rotation
No intentions
Little predictions
Sometimes it is a game
I embody the life of a young teen that’s struggling.
Going through high school not knowing what’s coming in.
I just want to writeI don't know what to writeI don't know how to inject my emotions through this penI don't know how to evoke the internal dried tearsI can't describe the left side of my heart which contains sadness
Black holes come from broken hearts... so much disparity in the world over loves now lost
Dear Soceity,
You need to stop with these lessons,
Where young girls are forced to see
How imperfect their bodies can be.
How sex is a tool for sucess,
How breasts are ment for something so much less.
My life,
its not as bright as the sun
nor the light,
but it stands out at night,
my arms,
they arent what they used to be,
pull up my sleeves and
you will see what I mean,
Do not be fighterDo not be curse that person or animal outinstead be a peacemakerDo not steal a thing that you really wantDo not kill that person
emotions meet your demise
for it is a poem that looks you in the eye
happiness
no longer causes madness
insanity
reality
clarity
personality
no longer
cookie cutter
People say life is short,And that "You Only Live Once"But life is the longest thing you'll ever do.Why should I keep going?Why should I keep breathing?I can't find the meaning.
We live in a world where double standards bloom around us
Waiting for the picking
Like fresh lillies in the spring time.
If you have acne, you're ugly
If you don't, you're stuck up.
Trapped in his own thoughts
He’s all alone with nothing but a lone heart
Trying to spark a flame so dark
It can light up a room with demonic distraught demonstrating
One day she'd be happy
And the feelings that once made her cry
Would be filling the words with memories
It rises
and falls
only to rise again.
A circadian pattern,
until one day it falls too hard.
Shattered and torn,
It attempts to rise.
Every abuse is not a physical pillUnless you’re unwise and unskilledThese tones stone the insidesOf happiness and eventually toss youTo shame and leave you fearing any game
Kick me when I’m down
And tell me I don’t matter
I want to feel I belong
That’s all I ever asked
Now really can you blame me
For reasons unknown, she didn't feel happy.She'd spend days wondering why life was this crappy.Her friends would tell her that she was their light.But how could someone so sad, be so bright?
A tsunami sent by one line of text
Adrenaline floods my veins-
emotions are drowning, tumbling
just trying to catch up with my brain
My heart jumps, flips, flies out of my chest-
Fake the appitamy of all creation
It comes in all shape and forms
nothing, but it has a mere cover up
It is the form of family, friends
Basically human kind
Blessed are the forgetful
Or so Nietzsche tells me
But when have transitory monsters lost a childhood
Or a father who stayed only in their mind’s eye
Now faded away like the shore ravenously
It's a cold dark lonley night I'm looking outside my window.
Everything is still.
No sound, no movement, eveything is gray as thoughts run through my head.
You may have had a rough life, present & future – but who are you to judge the future?
The difference in me is great, the becoming of my life will bring me to my fate, the mysterious I have for myself brin
I’ve been given a gift, rather a blessing that takes you for who you are in all
As she walks through the halls
the whispers get louder
she's listening
her tear drops glistening
your telling her she's not good enough
some say she's not hood enough
she's debating
You came, you brought me joy,
you brought me laughter,
but most of all, you brought me love.
And when you left, you took them all away.
I was a fool.
My soul is like an empty sock
Cold and pleading for a foot.
But my soul is allergic to feet
So it weeps at night for the homeless grass.
I also like to watch the moon smile at the stars.
As I was passing by
I saw a girl with tears in her eyes
And I couldn’t bear it
I asked her why she wanted to cry
She said I have no more fight
And many things aren’t going right
Hands in the sky
On my knees
Nobody heard
My piercing scream
The broken remains
Of the world around
Shattered and fell
With a deafening sound
Honorio Freeland
Lost in the World
Who am I?
What makes me, me?
Eighteen years young,
With not plenty to show for it.
Things aren't always black and white,
There’s always a tint of grey.
Someone's always watching.... judging,
It happens every day.
Teachers never see it,
In the shadows I sit
Away from the crowd,
A class full of voices
My own starts to drown.
From class to class I rush and hide
From room to room I stumble and cry,
I am the girl you laugh at every day
I am the boy with scars on my arms
I am the geek who hides behind books
I am the jock who's scared of sexuality
I am the cheerleader with the imperfect body
She let him walk away from his only escape
She gave him an F because he wouldn't follow her directions
If only they knew , if only i could say..i hate coming to school everyday.
Not because of the lunch, or the switching my class rush.
I can't cry,
Because that is admitting defeat,
I can't cry,
Because if I did you'd tear me down more.
I can't smile,
Because you know if I do it'll crack into a thousand pieces,
I can't smile,
I am reaching out to youBut you cannot or will not hearCan’t you see that I am in need?You look without seeing my tears I am so lonesome. All by myself
I wasn’t happy with me,
So I tried being a different me.
I tried to be the me everyone else wanted to see
i know im not right for you but i wish i was. i try not to fall for you but i just cant. i keep holding these feelings in because its too soon. but if you give me a chace ill prove it to you. if i get hurt i can only blame me.
It can come on slow and it can come on fast
Sometimes you’d never know it’s even happening
Your palms start to sweat and your heart is about to burst
I read the posters
I look at my shoes
I look at the clock
I doodle on my paper
never once do I look at you
Teacher...
There is an empty place in my chest, an empty spot where my thoughts use to flow and my memories use to play. The familiar rhythm that's kept me alive for so long is slowly coming to a halt.
Life: the inevitable,
it can throw you to the ground,
or it can bring you up,
either way it treats you a certain way.
I've always been the one to experience this,
Its coarse taut roots embedded themselves within my chest,
making it harder to finish my quest.
Its icy cold petals blossomed within,
Heavy hangs the albatross
Around my neck like pearls.
Passed from an elder,
To a little girl.
Knowledge may be a gift,
My heart sings the words
Of my soul
It feels all my weeknesses
It hears all my screams
It tastes the chalking of my blood
It smells the fear of my aching beat
It sees the nightmares that I
I am from hearing babies cry changing numerous diapers a day, from an innocent kid and team work.
Used to be friends our first year
Fast-forward, I’m standing here
Halls are deserted, no one in sight
Here you come from behind and body check me on the right
That’s how it started
Unknown boy
Unknown life
By me atleast.
I didn't know of your existance
And I'm sure you don't know of mine
But maybe you do
Atleast now.
I've been thinking about you a lot
She may have finally done it
She may have finally found her path
The sky blue comforter was appealing,
But with deep thought,
She found that its arms of cotton,
Its pillows of visions of fantasy,
There's a saying.
It's quite old.
There's a saying.
That's often told.
"Sticks and stones may break your bones,
but words with never hurt you"
I don't believe that this is true.
Do you still care
Since I know you don't believe
You could say "there's no angel
Watching over me"
But that's where you're wrong
I know your faith may have died
But I'm still your angel
What is something you can't say to your teacher?
Is it a thing or an action?
A place or person?
A problem or an obstacle?
A struggle or problem?
To tell you the truth we can tell all of this
Paddling so hard
from the water wall behind.
Too slow and i fall.
Then I tumble and I roll
to submerge to the unknown.
She was a very young girl
Life just started it would seem
About fifteen years old
Life being torn by the seams
You see the smile plastered on her lips, dripping a story with a twist. Lies escape with every phrase, across your ears. You believe it's the truth she's laid. She seems like the perfect student, perfect girl; every strand without a curl.
Grasping for air that my lungs desire
as i pull the tear drops back inside
Camoflaging the dark clouds that hover above me
When will you acknowledge the darkness
that surrounds my inner walls?
I’m walking a thin line,
I’m running out of my lifeline.
They’re letting go, they’re moving on
How come I’m so far gone?
Why am I so worthless?
My life so pointless?
I thought about it once or twice,
maybe three or four.
About suicide, and what it would be like,
if I didn’t live anymore.
My world is dark and gray,
filled with sorrow and lots of pain.
Society has spoken,
nobody cares.
He cries all alone,
for the truth he cannot bear.
He bleeds all night
yet no one is there,
not one single person
nice enough to care.
It takes a while. Speaking. Writing. Communicating. These are all things which people take for granted. Luck. Something which does not come easily to me. Ouch! Unfortunately, this simple word is said a lot. Almost daily. Too often. Brain. Head.
There she was alone again
she made her choice
so we'd hear her silent voice
maybe I was so stupid,
for not seeing this before
This is why,
she cried to sleep at night
I'm a glass house.
Just take a glance, you'll know if I'm home or not
Maybe a light is on, music is playing
Peer a little deeper to be sure that I'm not
Survey my windows to see if you can find me,
To whom it may concern,
It is healthy food for which i yearn.
For it's called chicken but looks like a log.
Then after we eat, we continue to learn in fog.
Gnawed on pencils, annoyed expressions,
Everyone had their own confessions.
Yet, here we were, sitting, pretending to care,
About the lives of others, like it was even fair.
Judgment and the shifting of eyes,
Again it comes to me
From it, I am unable to flee
First, it slithers into my heart
Beginning its quest to tear me apart
Next, the monster slips into my mind
Broken pieces shattered on the ground
They continue to tip toe around
Afraid to clean a mess that wasnt theirs
Scared that I will only break theirs
Taped together many times for moments
Fret.
Regret.
Anxiety.
Worry.
These are the things that held me down.
These were the things that haunted me
One big confusion. one big disaster, spinning out of control,
I remember when it used to be just us and the music.
We blocked the whole world out to hip hop,
and every now and again, I could convinvce you to try something else.
Like Carolina Liar, or Of Monsters and Men,
Living in darkness seemed the best way
Light never reached my face as I lay
As the fabric of life seemed to fray
Hateful words spoken in spite
Light was no longer in my sight
For what it's worth?
This is my new start, new heart, shining at the end of this semester's tunnel
To love, to live,To hug and forgive.With out love of others, we live without hope,From sisters and brothers,to bacon and the Pope.Learn to loveto come above.Find the one without shun.
To love a man, to love a girl...
What difference is there really?
Love, to me, is the same
In any language, in any shape
For any age,
For any person.
Love could maybe just be
a simple word
There she lay,
On her bathroom floor thinking only about death,
She stared at the pills scattered on the floor,
As she took her last breathe,
Only being able to see gray,
She was happy she finally escaped,
I miss your smile,
i miss your face,
i miss your strongly supporting embrace.
I miss your voice,
i miss your words,
that made me feel like, the only girl in the world.
I miss your laugh,
They tell me I'm not quite right,
that I don't meet their standards
Reminding me of my imperfections
and screaming at me to be better.
Their words sizzle against my heart;
Singeing the delicate flesh,
As she closed her eyes she imagined her life before her
Her eyes were bowed down in defeat, in weakness
She reminisced on what she had lost, what she had gained
If you only knew
What we carry on our crooked spines
When we leave your room
The torment
The pressure
The never ending gloom
If you only knew
What our futures hold
Its 2012,
December 31st,
It all started with a Facebook message saying I had a crush,
I made you laugh and I made you blush
You gave me your number we would text and we would flirt,
Your the love of my life, The bright star that shine in me, The inspiration that put me to my feet. You mean the world to me. Everyday dreaming about the day we will meet again. Your the sorrow in myy heart, I never knew you and i was like stars.
Today is the last day I'll feel you breathing down my back,
My love for you is gone,
I don't know if I'm sad or relieved,
Because falling in love with you was the best thing that ever happened to me,
The truth is
I never liked living.
I never liked being in public.
I'm not like everyone else
I may be depressed and that sure is common
but unlike most I don't feel the need to get better
The truth is
A rainy day is like a sad day, Sad day with me fill with tears. I search the days to shine but no sun is found. Everyday i mock a sunny day but really it a rrainy day inside of me.
My mommy doesnt know all that I do.
She doesnt know about everything I've gone through
I smile when I'm around her, so that she doesnt know
All the trouble I got into and where my mind likes to go
Joy and laughter,
You became my best friend,
Together from the begining,
We would stick to the end.
To not cherish your infinite kindness,
That was mistake one,
You gave and you gave,
I was alive when i met you.
Alive but cautious because I always feared death...
feared what it would be like if you left....
You made me live reckless on the edge..
and the times i spent with you....
Yes, that is I
Wave to say hi
My hair a white essence surrounding my face
My eyes, blue, starring into space
My arms dotted with freckles
My heart, pounding
I feel a constant sense of drowning
A young girl is brokenThat poor girl shed tearsThe little girl is leavingNo one even hears
Crying, she falls asleep at nightWaking up seems to be a curseNo one ever loves herMaybe its time to go home
In the past, i never talked about my needs. I never wanted to tell my needs.
I was alone because i had no one. I had family, but i never saw it. I had friends, but i never saw it.
I was getting help, but i never saw it.
She strokes my hair gently
Kisses me passionatlely
Hugs me tightly
Always loves me
Wants to be with me forever
Cares about me more than anything
Spends every second of every day by my side
Her body was a temple,
handcrafted, with exeptional curves
heavenly, lightly fragranced with cocoa butter and almond oil
She invited men inside,
and the temple began to cave in.
You can be a real pain at times
coming whenever you feel like it and make me feel
small, worthless, tired,
I have enough problems already
why do you have to make more for me?
Vibrations in my head’s empty space; unoccupied.
Relative measurements of relative ideas.
And drops of controversy fall from the unmarked sky.
Ebony sky; full of fire’s red embers.
Dear Teacher,
I need to tell you something, but I don’t know how to.
Dear Teacher,
Where do I begin?
Dear Teacher,
There is no day that goes by
I feel angry with the world
I sit quietly in my room
I pray for a better tomorrow…
How would my life be
Without fear and sadness?
How would it feel to be
Living and loving is
science's greatest reaction,
such a power is immense
and can bring each
human satisfaction,
no matter the means
or the creation of dreams
but the feeling is real,
Two lovers intertwined in a complicated web.
One compromised by word.
The other compromised by heart.
One chained.
One free.
The Night arrived room,
The flame lit up the glistening blade.
Her towel fell from her body,
on the ground it laid.
A drop of moisture from her hair,
curved her upwards chest.
Cold. Sharp. Inviting.
I don’t want anyone to pull me back into this world.
There is a reason I want to leave, and pulling me back
won’t make that reason go away.
Upon the polished pearl slate
Lingers the past within:
Blood-stained hair and eyes.
Remember the queries and suggestions:
Stay the original course,
No altering just for appeasement.
As the sun rises andAnother day takes flight;The blessing is fulfilled again.As the dew begins to lite;My heart flutters,For my love is forever in sight.
Why must we fight
Instead of being friends
Why must we fight
For what reason should it be
Why must we fight
When we're all the same
Why must we fight
Just because someone is different
I know she is tired,she hates feeling this way,She weeps and she cries,tears of pain day to day.She deals with much hurt,and is put through much strife,her skin sticks to her shirt,
I remember day I captured a perfect picture.
The long humid summer, with skies a bold blue;
the year of many sorrowful goodbyes.
Its always a secret
We cant go here, we cant go there
So and so comin, so we cant go
I cant follow you on social media, cause people might know
You put me in a little pocket and take me out when you want
They think she's happysee her smile and just assumebut what they don't know might kill herit might lead her to her doom Little do they knowher mind has the controlshe is slowly dyingsoon she may very well go In her eyes is the painon her arms ar
Don’t try to speak to me
I have nothing to say
Despite forcasted developmental trends
My etymological roots have decayed
Only half-formed ideas stumble lazy from these lips
Misguided thoughts
The pain I feel is from within,
The smile is all a show,
The dreams I had
Once big and bold
Suddenly crushed and hopeless.
Who needs me
I am no-body
Unwanted, alone, trapped..
You really don't know when the end comes, the end of anything. I felt everything I needing to feel, craving to feel and it's sharp heel digging into my skull, I never asked, but was worthy enough for it.
Have you ever wanted to die
Have you ever wondered whats on the other side
Have you ever looked yourself in the face and thought why
WHY… HY… HY… am I alive
What is the meaning of life
I ask for your forgiveness in writing this to you, and I can assure it will be my final interference in this delicate matter.
I know the voices in your headThey've reached down into your coreI know the lies that they have said because I've heard them all before
Maybe it's time, that I give you a simple rhyme. A reason to listen, as my eyes glisten. I'm tired of the lies, those that binds and ties; my very soul from becoming whole. I may not be the poster child, but I wasn't raised up wild. Don't mock
Your thumbnails are very beautiful, I’m sure you think so too;
You must be very proud of them, gorgeous, pink, and small;
I can tell you love them very much, because staring at them is all you do.
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me
We've heard it, said it, learned it.
But tell me do people choose to take their life because this rhyme is right?
As that horrible that gets closer day by day the more I fight back the tears :( nothing makes letting you go easier and knowing my memories are all I have left kills me, litterly hurts my heart so bad I'd rip it out if I could.
The perfect girl,
That's what everyone saw.
The one that everyone knew.
The girl without a flaw.
But when she looked in the mirror,
She hid behind a facade.
All the scars on her wrists,
Say what you want, do as you please
for I know that whatever you doin ain't
gonna happen to me. You can scowl,snarl,
and glare but I'm untouchable like the air.
You may say your wicked taunts and do your evil
Isolated from your peers,
alone and rejected,
different from the others,
you feel diseased, infected.
it's impossible to change everyone,
difficult to get it through their heads,
She’s far from an innocent
For deep in her past
Lie memories in waiting,
Coming on fast.
The shame and the guilt
Are too much to take,
So she closes her eyes
And accepts her fate…
You are the shackles to my oppression, more similar to my depression
You say I can't succeed just as it says I can't be free
I am oppressed and depressed.
As a little girl I played with dolls behind your back,
Until that one time you caught me and I got smacked.
You wanted me in school and make friends,
But when I did the new friendship would eventually have to end.
He was my summer love the year of twenty twelve
He was my everything for him I'd do anything
he was what I needed and maybe if I pleeded,
I'd get another chance or at least a last dance.
Chains
Chains
clinking metal frozen
wrists bound
reaching for freedom
no key to set me free
or strength to uncuff
I've been knocked down before someone knocked down my door. They been down a street where you didn't want to meet, as well as me.
I'm like a child who cries itself to sleep,
but instead of crying, what I do is think.
I think myself insane, analyzing every bit,
until my heart rate quickens and I work up a panicking fit.
If you walk into the lighttowards the end of the tunneland you don't come backhad its beauty ensnared youor had it simply scarred you?
We hide in the darkness.
We never come into the light.
We hide behind a fake smile
that nobody cares to look behind.
We hide behind a mask
we built to hide our true selves.
We only show to those who
Am I stupid?
Am I crazy?
A maniac, perhaps?
How can I still love you?
How can you still love me?
I look at you and I still see utter perfection.
The way you walk, talk, laugh, and smile.
I keep thinking about you. But I'm not sure what to do. Maybe If i stop dreaming of what could be.Maybe If i stop thinking of it as you and me.Maybe letting you go is the key.
Thinking of the days that we could be sure that light
Would always travel faster than monsters trying to catch us at night
But you drink under daylight now too
Thinking of a mother who never hugged you
In this world we live in, we face many stages of adversity.
Some go through grief, others suffer from poverty;
But within our lifetime, we all fall under the trial of addiction...
At least only once, if not more than that.
I miss that feelingWhen I felt the surgeThe boost of spiritsThe sound of birdsThe world was laughterThe peace, like rainBut since it happenedIt won’t come again
i want to read the lines of your hands as if they where peices of paper with a story to tell. I want to kiss your hands so that my lips could tell the verystory of which your hands plead to speak. I want to swim in the river of your emotion
We all cry for help don't we? We are in need of help for every little trouble or bump along the way in our path. But there are others in the world and in our communites that are in BIGGER trouble and they need OUR help.
Sticks and stones break bones,
And they aren't always alone,
Cause sometimes words hurt even more,
Leaving behind a heart truly sore,
And beating three beats behind,
I was always a shy girl in the past,
Always finding love that would never last.
And recently my heart was broken,
By a lying, cheating man who used it for poking.
My wrists... like paper.
The knife... a pen.
The blood it savors.
The ink, it sends.
My skin is torn.
The paper is ripped.
Blade like a thorn.
The pen, it shifts.
Every scar has a story.
Gravity is irresistible.
I want to stay away,
But this concept is not unmistakable.
It must sustain on the bay.
I feel defenseless
In my naked soul.
As I am relentless
I am blind to people’s ignorance,
However ignorance is bliss.
And I still have tolerance,
As I wait for an aching kiss.
I am dumbfounded
By his beauty.
And yet it is astounding
tell us that we're wrong
as we sing and preach the right song.
tell us that we're right
and then you keep us in your sight.
tell us that you care
I am the ugly sister. These are the words I can’t escape. I cannot escape the rejection, or the hate. I am the one that no one comes to claim. My sister says the muffin top will go away, that I need to work harder.
Come with me to the room of doors for some funTake a deep breath and open door number oneIn this room livesA teenage girlHiding awayFrom the cruel cruel world.Her eyes are hollowHer soul a shell
What do you actually see when you look into these dark brown eyes?
Do you see a girl with happiness all around her or a girl galloping through a meadow filled with dasies.That's what you think you see but you dont really see the
I'm always dreaming,
Even when I'm awake.
In my dreams, I have control
Usually...
Until one day,
There was a razor in my hands
And I awake to lots of blood
Everywhere...
She glances at the clock,
As it flashes eleven twelve.
She sighs once again,
As she places another notebook on the shelf.
Through another clover patch,
She searches for a wish.
Her efforts to no avail,
Why would someone do such a thing?
Someone please tell me why.
He gave him so much of his effort.
So much of his money and time.
Between the two was everything.
He'd helped him stand back up.
Your just good as this Vodka and hurting my system . The word i love you I have discover but you don't know the meaning . thousand year can go by and it feels like your still here. There's not a day where I go without thinking about you !
His Holding Into My Emptiness of my universe , while my mind is out of earth ! A start wont probably reach to my hopes ! While im here left in the back with a bag tht was left ! It was left to the wrong person
Never write a songAbout a stupid boy you fell in love with,Because you’ll rememberThat the air exists to fill his lungsAnd that his lips serve a purposeMore significant than your kiss.
So many lovers have loved and lost,
they never tried to fight the cost.
Love doesn't conquer if you don't help it win,
for love is a feeling that can't help but to give in.
The sun
Never looked bright
Anymore
When you arrived
Our souls
Taken
Right before our eyes
The night sky
Is Darker
Than ever before
When you arrived
They say blood is thicker than water,though, truly,what is blood but water colored and clouded by sentiment?
Love, love comes and goes without a trace
It holds you, and leaves you when you need it the most
It's everywhere and nowhere !!!
It's magic, tragic, and fantastic
Walking aimless in eternal mysery
I came upon a great mystery-
A hidden pathway in a hill
Gave my senses a big thrill.
And so I followed the path 'till the top
And found a graveyard in the stop.
Your Love is like the
sun shining down on my face
my heart, like water to a flower
i could not not survive without it.
Your Love is like a wonderful dream,
that i dare not wake from. i am scared that
Your love is like the sun
shining down on my face
warming my heart.
Like water to a plant
i could not survive without it.
Your love is like a wonderful dream,
that i dare not wake from.
Tainted, tainted is the light,
No more is it pure and bright,
Tainted, tainted as the night,
No one can see for it is dark with fright,
Scarred am I from battles and wars,
Recovery is not an option,
Something so unreal, it can't even truly be described. It has so many conditions that this world could never fulfill. This world is too imperfect to keep with the what ifs and alsos and sometimes and shoulds.
She sits alone with a pistol to her head
Its the last time to breathe before she's dead
She pulls the trigger and the gun goes
Her body falls, her eyes close
She lies in a pool of crimsom red
I am the guy that never showed sufferings.
I am the guy who cried, the guy who hide of himself in the shadows of lust.
Crying, crying still no one knows what i am capable of. Will I survive?, will I survive ?
What do you see when you gaze into my eyes
......as u try to unravel my mind picking out bits and pieces of things you find fit to know and discover?
What do you feel when your finger tips meet my skin
I've paid the price of losing someone
I lived my life without a rule book
I'd always imagined he'd be the one
I came untied and fell to ashes
I loved him, he made me cry
Your subtle whispers
scream in my ears
exclaming hate
pronounce my fears
I can see your staring eyes
looking through me
judging, spreading rumors
lies
But I am strong
A horizontal line,
A bluish-purple vein,
how much would it take
to drive me insane?
A few more hospital visits,
A few more prescription pills
they say recovery is possible
I'm drowning. I can't keep my feet on the ground. I say "save me from this pain." But things just remain the same. There's no one else to blame for the scars on my skin. I don't think I can win. I can't hold on any longer.
A night so empty.
Thoughts stop racing .
So dull so lifeless,
some would call a "natural high"
Thinking of what could have been
or what could be awaiting.
A fear of the unknown.
I stand here touching the breeze in my hair,
feeling unconscious full of despair,
I feel the touch of freedom.
You told me i have legs, so I walk.
I stand here with the darkness in my eyes,
I sit in a world
all alone
lost and confused
with nothing to call my own.
Sweating my past
as memories flood my head
i want to leave
because i have nothing to dread.
I think to myself
ou claim to know me. Yet you don’t see my pain, my suffering, my black, shriveled up excuse for a heart. All you see is the smile, the overweight child, the kid that sits alone at lunch. You claim to know me.
Day 1: My feet hit the cold tile and my eyes strain at the board.
I hear your monotonous bore,
I think, I think, no more.
I am just another one of the horde.
Day 2: The straps pull at my back
You saw the ache under her artifical simper yet you sat and said nothing as her eyes plead for a cure to relive this agony form her casket everyday you watched her tear bare her skin in hopes of becoming free of her hollow soul and
Not a sight nor
Neither here or there
A covering vail
Would you care?
Here today but not in the morrow
In view but far away
Yet there is
Nothing to say
Cradled by solitude
Because of other's attitude
Death, depression, and disfigurement do a bully make
Leaving destruction in wake.
Take a soul, bottle it up
Pour out a wretched thing.
I get to school take my seatYou take roll while we all eat Our breakfast and listen to your dumb rulesWhich have all of us acting a foolYou slowly go down the roster You peer through your ugly bifocals that make you look like a monster You start t
Tonight I can't stop the tearsI feel the soul of another rising up Someone stronger is being urged to take overI want to run far awayKnowing I'm not alone in thisI want to run far away
I feel a monster rising up inside. It creeps and crawls inching to the surface. No true sense of decency does it possess. It's soft and silky upon my tongue and it blends easily upon my face.
My frustration is I feel out of place! I had everything I truly wanted and felt whole with what I had. Now I just feel like I have what I want and don't at the same time. I mean fame is becoming more and more of a turn down.
Your eyes through me cut like a rusted knife,Your voice, it salts my newly bleeding wound,Do I belong inside your lonely life?Though you hoped I never willingly swooned,
I am in love with your nature.
I am in love with your words,How, like dew, they riddleThe meadows of my mind,How, like rain, they tickleThe branches of my lungs.
What a landmark;Your curly lockedWhite willow head,Your rhododendronLashes, a canopyOver poolsThat frozeOn my lined face.Your oak branchesThat brushedMy lined shoulders,
Life sometimes can play tricks on the distracted eye. Sometimes you see the horizon but not the road ahead of you. And sometimes there is no road and you have to find your own trail.
I'm choking on the taste of rejectionAnd, oh, how I savor the sweetnessEnough to make a grown woman break into tearsBut not meI stand firm... untouched... unfeeling...Do I love thisUltimate loneliness
Standing in a room full of people
We exchange fake smiles
This is something we are all so familiar with
Our individual thoughts silenced
Silenced by ourselves
We laugh
It seems so real
"You will never be anything".
"Anything you achieve, it is because of me".
No, b**tch. That is where you are wrong.
My father, never there, but my mother taught me to be strong.
For love I'd give my last words, but never speak them with a lie,I'd fight for your trust, but never force it from your side.For love I'd climb the highest peak, but only if it ended with you as my view,
Im tired. My body is sore. I lay in bed and feel like I cant take it anymore. I feel weak. Hopeless. Like no one cares. I tap my fingers on my phone, waiting for a sign. Some kind of hope. I shut my eyes and feel the dull buzz in my hand.
Walking to a court room at the age of 7 was very frightening. I knew I did not do anything wrong. I was getting adopted, but I did not have a say in anything.
There is something across the sea,
Something foul that beckons to me.
Will I leave?
I shall indeed.
To my Muse that beckons to me.
There is something on yonder shore,
We sat on the steps of my eroded muck stained porch.
We contemplated our lives and our identities while sipping on unclean glasses.
We laughed at my awful past of abuse,
neglect,
and
insanity
Night and Day your at my side,
my friend my heart my peace.
Lighten my mornings,
watching you run and play and chase.
Brighten my nights,
next to me close warming my dreams.
I cannot understand my current emotions on the relationship I am in, I don’t understand how I feel anymore. My emotions don’t talk I have to but if I can’t understand them how I can explain them.
Hispanics are considered a minority because most of them are not educated
and barely make enough to reach the minimum wage.
Living in a world where that’s expected from you can be tough
One heart two different worldsOne body two opposite girlsOne chose love the other hateOne chose corruption the other faithOne always tries to devise a planThe other simply follows the great I am
All my life I've been silent, Never let out a peep
Even when tumbling down hills, rough and steep
Before I cry out in pain, I hear my mother's voice
Hush! Be quiet. Don't complain
When I go to church
Because The Sound Of Voice & My Lips Were Close !
You Told Me Just Repeat "Strawberry" My Heart Beat 100 Miles per hour!
Not Knowing How and When To Say it !
Poor Child only 9years old !
Tears trace my face as I stand over this sink
I am crying again
Every lecture I get, all the expectations I don't make
Love is like a wild stormWith a shower of broken hearted rainIt will swing you like a tornadoFlood your heart like a hurricaneIts hard to love someoneThat doesn’t love you
You don't know that your fist feels like butterfly kisses,
And your words, as sickly sweet as gas station seafood dishes
Don't faze me.
My face, has been through more abuse than big city sidewalks
I don't understand why you hurt me or make me have these scars
you always say no one cares of course i'm going to take that to heart.
your suppose to love me and take care of me but you havent been doing that lately
Knowing that I have an attraction for you makes me so upset with myself. How could I let this happen to me?
you've been here with methrough thick and thinyou knew i was hurtbefore i told you you fought my wallsgot yourself ini cant get you out nowno matter how hard i trydid not want to trust you
What's deep but very shallow?
What's thin but very thick?
What's white that could turn to black very fast?
What could cause joy but then fear?
Boom Boom, Swish Swish
You are dangerous
A bomb
You are an animal that could pounce at any moment
You are only a window to sneak out of
Or another used condomn
Or another empty beer bottle
it's possible to have a house-
but no home.
it's possible to be surrounded-
and completely alone.
i'm trying to concentrate-
without staring at my phone.
the scars on my outside layers
I want to be perfect, I don't want the pain. I want her to be happy. I want everything to gain. I want people to disappear, her attention I crave. She makes me strong, she makes me brave. I don't ever want to argue, I don't want her to hate me.
As the years escape my eyes. You try to say your final goodbye. But your hand won't leave mine. Thoughts of you fill my mind. Life without you is full of pain, no laughter, no smile just gray painful rain.
A steady rhythm,
A speedy pace,
My heart now seems to race.
A race,
A fight,
What we do in the night.
Loving, leaving,
I begin to start bleeding.
Remorce and grieving
You sent me three text messages last night:
"I’m drunk as fuck over the toilet man"The nightmares beneath my skinthreaten to possess the shell ofmy body.I am nothing buta diseased corpse.
Dear Me,
Don't you see
your problem is this
you can't forget what love is
you see him everywhere
when y'all speak you can't help but to stare
into those eyes you fell
anything you would sell
He's a failure
In my class he won't survive
17 and black?
I'm surprised he's alive
He's just a stupid football player
Is that all you think I am?
Just another statistic?
Disgracing Uncle Sam?
On the outside she looks happy,
But in all reality, is she?
Most of the time it's not what you see,
But what you believe.
Read the signs,
You'll be surprised,
At what you may find,
I miss how you looked in my eyes that first night
I could not recal anything else
the way your soft skin felt on my cold hands
The blurred memory gave me a rush
I miss when we layed recalling the past
I dont understand why this can be, almost all alone in this journey.
No one seems to see anything from my point of view.
Only a few see my perspective, it is even harder when your
She’s kind
Though she never really says much
She smiles
Though it never really seems real
She laughs
Though she never really seems to enjoy being around
She’s here, doing what she has to do faithfully
Love can be a poison
Like a snake wrapped around you,
Suffocating you,
Injecting the poisonous venom
Those tears that hit your face,
They burn like acid
Why must this happen to you
I want to disappear I wanted to fade into the background......
I thought that losing the weight would make them like me...... They don't...
I started to get more involved in school no one seemed to notice either.....
My mind is going insane; I can barely even think. I'm letting myself go, faster than a blink. Friends and family form a line that is longer than a mile; but even with them here, my life still feels like it's not worth while.
Look at my face, you'll see a beautiful girl. Look into my eyes, you'll see something hidden. Look at my smile, you'll see it isn't real. Look at my soul, it's the biggest pain you could ever feel...
No one knows that she still hurts-
But she keeps herself composed
hoping no one notices her flaws.
Take time to cherish the little things
The sweet sound of birds in the crisp morning air
The surrounding warmth a blanket can provide
Tears like rain fill oceans of sadness;
It’s the pain that we hide – greater than we see;
I’ve spoken to broken looking for suns to soak in,
But the heart is missing
Where a soul leaves space.
One love doesn't last longbut here is one thing it is going to be alright once a pon agogo out and find another one when you are lonely everytime you like of him or her
Floating
Leaping
Screeching
Clawing your eyes out just to
Spite you
Spite me instead
I can't live the way you want
Me to. The way you look at me
Tells me that you want me to respond.
Im making my mind up to express.
Living this way is just a mess.
Laughing at nothing
Is funny when its serious.
Im Living life to the fullest
So im a gangster.
Living is dying.
Familiarity boils over
in a pot that can’t contain
A search for four leaf clovers,
nothing can ever be the same
And as we’re moving through the obstacles
We built for ourselves
I hold a small, pink eraser in my hand
I carefully bring the ends of the eraser toward each other
Watching the middle of it stretch
To make ends meet
and there’s a whole in my chest and it aches for you
and I’m going crazy in my head, I don’t know what to do
and I’m sad because you’ll probably never feel the same
and because I’ll never see you again
but you seethe thought of you and meour names intertwinedlike ribbons and balloonsscares me half to deaththough it feels rightand functions wellyou are the ribbonand i don’t want to be
You are my South Wind,
There to uplift me
There to surround me
But never to falter.
You are my Sun,
There to light my way
There to give me hope
But never to dim.
I push so hard everyday
I know it angers you so much to wake up knowing Im not with you no more to drive you crazy
I wake up too but here or not you still drive me crazy
I want to dieI want to turn away away and say goodbye There is just to much painI can barely stay in my own laneI'm falling apartI hurt in my whole body, especially in my heartI'm going to end it allI may step a little far over the edge and just f
I miss you so much I miss your voice and soft touchThe way you comforted me Always offering me a cup of teaI lie to myself everyday I tell myself you'll come back by the end of MayEven though I know deep downYou're never coming back to this townYo
Some nights, I can't sleep! I wonder why?
Some nights, I wonder where I stand in life.
Other nights, I feel afraid, almost destressed.
Resting nights, angels soars at my presences.
I have left the world of Darkness,
Having stepped into the Light,
A new sensation of bliss has emerged,
A sensation having not witnessed in a thousand years,
Maybe She Would Be Alive Today. If I Spoke Up And Said What I Needed To Say. If I Thought Differently and Choose A Different Path. Crazy Thing Is I Didn’t Think She Would Last.
She screams as the light beams pushing and pushing the wall of despair.
Times of love from above is just like a dove resting on my shoulder.
Times of love, Times of love, Times of love.
Trails of gray blazing the untrailed canvas
It's curves at it's masters every whim
Success! The man says, as he puts it aside
and reprints with the black.
It's work shaded by the of ink
For Everyone who is in school.
For Everyone who has been bullied.
For Everyone who has been in a sport.
For Everyone who is battling addiction.
For Everyone who is working.
For Everyone who is a parent.
Things falling apart
All around me
The world
Breaking at the seams
A rush of emotions
Like an avalanche
But yet
I feel nothing
You’re lying beside me
Smiling
Reassuring
Because all the things you've done im like this today. Hurt, numb, empty; whats lost is gone forever. Forever feeling a unsacred empty space. You took the only part of me that wasnt yours, the part of me that you havent already distroyed.
The time passes by,
So fast.
The light seems to,
Fade away.
I sit here,
Watching,
The sun rise,
The moon shine.
Thump Thump even steps on the floor
A rhythmic monotone inciting horror
Who is it that makes such a beaten path
Is it death or man with a thought to pass
The hate pours from me like I'm made of water,
only ment to quench my own thirst,
I hat myself,
No matter what I say,
No matter what I do,
I can't ever seem to be enough for you,
You meaning me,
Watch.
Wait.
Run.
I Watch him walk and wait for his return. Watch him run and wait to feel something. Anger?
Lots of it.
Sadness?
Not enough.
Resentment?
It boils in my blood.
Lost in the world around her
The kids in school call her names,
Mock her ripped clothing
No one knows the truth.
She goes home to a drunken father,
A broken mother and a missing brother,
Loneliness is not a state of mind.
It is a choice.
A way of life,
A feeling.
A feeling that possesses,
A feeling that deceives,
clouds are thick, the ground grabs
It weighs you down, It tugs at you
slowly pulling slowly drawing
walking against the wind
heavy feet heavy head
forced back held back
no movement, no progress
It fools the inexperienced
and breaks the ones who aren't careful.
It's the thing we always look back to
and always look forward to.
It's strong and brutal;
Happy
yet sad.
I can't move. I can't see. I can't breathe. Nobody cares. Nobody listens. I'm not me. I'm not you. Who am I? I haven't got a clue. Someone please help me. I still can't move. What's wrong with me? I have got a clue. Depression.
Bullying. A subject that when comes to mind, makes me want to cry. I have been bullied. Not physically, but mentally. People telling me "shutup" or "you're stupid". I take everything to heart all of a sudden. I feel so insecure. I feel suicidal.
Wanting to shut everything out.Wanting to drown in nothing.Wanting to catch up to the present,While battling with the past. Holding back tears that burn.Holding back feelings aching inside.Holding back memories and thoughts. Having mixed emotions.
Treatment
Bleed it out
Like a snake bite,
The venom that roils and riles
In my blood
That rages and boils
Bleed it out,
Run 'till my feet
Tickle with flames.
Search for strength,
I came here alone, others are apparitions.
Strangers to mother's.
Opponents to father's.
Siblings are apparitions.
Friends are apparitions.
Lovers are apparitions.
The hole in my heart is deeper than the sea,
The hole in my heart is blacker than the new moon sky.
I still wish you were with me, your touch still lingers with me.
As I’m asleep I dream of me back in your arms,
I am a silver moon. You are my world. If you do not desire this gravitational pull any longer, then I shall take myself elsewhere. I can find another planet to orbit my heart around. Someone who does not consider me to be a meteor.
I am so done with the outside,
done with the sress and the tears,
done with the lies and hurt,
but not done with life
I am so tired of letting
every single little think get to me.
Cold ice stretching over a fortress of falling beams. Rolling from blue eys come the diamonds of a sad day. Once strong the brick buildings fall in a crumbling rubble of distress. In a silent room a fire is ignited.
twelve months ago
I happy
school no worries
much to go
eleven months ago
my happiness
was tested
which it passed
ten months ago
joy wasn't a want
but necessity
my feelings are
unclear
for this i am
sure
i know this
something
is a thing
so certain
i can't express
this emotion
for you
i reassure
this is okay
what seems so easy
isn't to some
makes them feel queazy
terrified of whats to come
speaking in front of a variety
for a simple presentation
those who suffer social anxiety
Lost
My necessities are unseen through hazy eyes.
My dreams are degraded by little whispers in my head.
My bearings are lost, scattered among a thousand others,
drifting through my mind.
One side of an equation
One half of a perspective -
From the outside looking in,
I'd see the shine, the goodwill.
"They are just so cute,"
I hear,
"A perfect little pair."
I am like a ceramic bowl, and this bowl has many assets.Beautiful from a far, but up close you see my cuts, scars and bruises put there by all the hate and doubt of the world.
The Inner Me.
It's the soul you cannot see.
The pain, the struggles, the beating, and troubles.
I cry out for help.
Suicide thoughts.
No one there to tell me, stop.
I'm am confused at the mind.
theres many ways to show love
actions speak louder than words
many people may recall the scene of pain
to overcome pain forgiveness is the key.
Holding on to that one last kiss.
Remembering what it was like to hold you like this.
My heart is slowly burning to the ground.
With the passion in the love I had found.
Your words still linger in this place.
Any teacher can follow a lesson plan
but one teacher can teach whatever they can.
Why dont we figure out how modern life really works
instead as a student we learn the basic boring subjects first.
Welcome to my world
Of lies,loniliness,hate, and depression
My world of tears and loneliness
Of fear and scars and rust-tinged razors
That smell like fresh sea water
somehow don’t satisfy me anymore.
Incumbent Ideas
the shapes the sounds
Twisting in the folds of my cerebrum
clenching digging poking wriggling
grey matter white matter
irritation
Swelling with
the shapes the sounds
A pit of despair embarks upon me.
Dragging me deeper, catching my breath.
Gasping for air, I grieve.
Clawing for space, I breathe.
It is only then that I notice my need,
That I find what I grieve,
Everything in life is temporary,
the people you love, the people you hate.
Life, Love, Happiness, Smiles, Tears, Pains, Sadness, Doubt, Anger, Fear, Everything.
Every emotion you have right now is temporary.
There oncewas a boy who rode my bus,
with wide green eyes,
who sat alone...
and didn't seem to care.
There once was a boy at my school,
who was quiet
but had the most beautiful smile,
You think school is all sweet and all.
And you think teenagers like me are the generation to fall.
But you don't understand that outside those silver gates.
Life soon becomes a brawl.
Why are you so depressed?Your sadness only seems to festerI want to make your heavy load have less But first you need to clean up your mess
Broken Rear View
Many times we alloy our curiosity to spoil of future,
More often than not,
We obsess over our rear view.
Have you ever taken the time to think,
What if your rear view-
The Hill That Never Sleeps
Have you heard of the hill,
That never sleeps?
We’ve been properly acquainted,
In my virtuous sheets.
Watching-your every move,
In search of flaws.
Baggage Claim
To those who view their past,
As a lesson.
Simply sit back and do yourself a favor-
Commit to confession.
Sift through the bags which look-
Oh so similar on the outside.
Words hardly describe The world he sees.Hand motions do notGive him the peace he needs.
He draws then,A mermaid in the seaAnd an enormous ship.
She is sitting by the mirrorBrushing her hair,As tears fall downHer hands tremble When she thinks about last night.
Dust, dirt and sandsFill the airChocking the life outta me.
Behold the desertA crappy place to liveWhere cactus drink waterAnd lizards shed their skin.
My family, will you love me the same knowing that I am different?
Mom, will you still smile at me knowing that I am not that perfect daughter you wanted?
Looking around, there are smiles everywhere
The more I'm surrounded by people, the more anguish feeling of lonliness I feel
and then you realize, nobody cares and you feel as if you will never heal
How do I keep moving forward?
Do I strum the guitar, and keep hitting the wrong chord?
Do I let everyone push me into praying to their "Dear Lord"?
Do I use my words and make them hurt as much as a sword?
her scars itch as if they feel her pain
they want friends
more of themselves to add to her collection
it's like they can feel her bring the blade to kiss her use-to-be-smooth skin
As my heart beats to the rhythm of love and happiness;
It slips into a coma of depression,
Hidden from my laughter and smiles,
Teasing everyone who passes by.
Days pass of nothing but a drop of excitement,
nocufsoin
Confusion, oh the deep waters of confusion,
It swallows you whole and stirs up your thoughts.
You feelings drop down to the bottom, dark and sandy,
They think it's easy
Easy to think so much
Information consumes one
Like bees on honeycomb
Where do all these thoughts
Originate
Pulled from thin air
Circulating from mind to mind
I wish my life was over,
My world made of broken clovers,
Falling out of place,
going into a dark space,
filled with blood,
nothing to love...
No one can see through my facade,
Can a heart still break once it's stop beating can you believe me even though you know I am lying will you be there when I need you even though when your in need I'm never anywhere to be found when your in need will you catch me when I am
Your eyes are so stunning,
that they could cover the night sky,
and outshine the moon, and stars,
and even all the galaxys combined.
Your smile is so strong,
it rocks me to my core,
Nothingless
i don't know youbut where you layin black and whitea paragraph of your sixteen years
All my loving,
It’s easy to obtain.
Refrain,
Everyday is the same.
What do I have to offer when you’re gone?
I tried to tell you that I loved you all along,
I'm not bleeding it out.
There are no razors to touch my skin,
none to cut it.
Bleeding does not help.
Not like others said.
Physical pain is not a cure,
for this kind of agony.
3AM
(One Cut)
Don’t ever wake up at 3am
It’s scary enough falling asleep
Waking up out of a state of rest
Takes a lot of energy mentally
Like your mind gets tired, fatigued
Overthinking starts.
I want a ......Guy who notices my sensitivityGuy who notices my heartGuy who understands my confusion and pain and where it comes fromI want a ........guy who confident. In saying i love you day one.
The ground beneath my feet
Tremors with Soul and rational
Choking forth a dissonant harmony
First Period:
Wake up, shower, dress
Motivate, sigh, late
Again
Second Period:
English, essay, notes
Homework, due date, yawn
Tired
I remember the way you told me
You loved me
That it would never be you and I
It would be we
I remember your beautiful
Smile
I remember holding hands on the beach
Walking for miles
The thinkers:
those who won't say
what they mean,
but strive to write
something others can relate to.
The thinkers:
those who sit-
staring into space,
but still hear words
It is five in the morning as twilight sheds tears down my face,
The dancing horizon teases my mourning
eyes yearning for sorrow
But bleeding condescending sympathy
The sun rays invade,
We are all victims, persons targeted to feel pain and misery
and all that are out to slam a foot on our brakes, while driving they have stopped us
on the train tracks leaving us with what you think are only two options;
Do you see the pain?The pain in my eyes.Do you see the hurt?Hurt buried deep in my heart.Did you search to knowKnow what I have been throughOr did you just wishI let go and never looked back?
This ol' heart of mine will never be the same
I guess I'm really the one to kind of blame
I might as well move on and let it go
Well since you're here I should probably let you know
breathe.
in...out...
in...out...
the calm rhythm of my day
undistrubed.
trigger.
sharply inhale.
remember.
"no..."
push it aside...
"focus."
I said a word
I made a friend
I am yellow
I said a word
I am in a relationship
I am pink
I said a word
I got into a fight
I am blue
I said a word
I breathe.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Two easy movements.
Involuntary.
Necessary.
The difference between two ends,
Life,
Death.
Breath changes everything…
I breathe.
I like you a lot but don't know how to tell you...why can't we see eye to eye?
Set standards for each other? Everything is just so paper thin. With not enough time,
You see smiles they glisten,
There's nothing else but listen
Dark shadows, cold walls
You hide and try to ignore the calls.
You ask yourself is it worth it?
Not one bit.
Your Kiss infects me
like the flu infecting young children
it finds me
and absorbs through out my body
taking a few days to leave my system
forever i remember the 1st time
the feeling so new
I knocked on the door just to listen and see if she was home
For some time I waited, cold winds flowing past me and down my back my mind started to rome
Alone is what I began to feel but then she came to the door
A minimum amount of words were said, and time was spent together. Before we knew it. Time was over.
i bury myself in facts organization to a faultto hide from the world,from people and fearspeople think I'm shyI'm hiding.i hide in plane site, yetnobody sees me i cry for someone to see me
Betrayal, Bruised, Left alone, No one to hold, No one to love, Blessed I’m sure, How can you be blessed? When no one loves you When someone toke your love. Forever alone. Forever apart.
A man who's life was strife by death left mights in his regrets.
Life can be a pain and with punishment they may blame,
but one thing that it gives,
its forgivness for you'r sins.
As the man shouts to death
Why can't I be smart like those that I see?Before I told myself--you have your own strengths you must not flee.
how dare you put me in a box
labeling me because i dont fit in with the hollywood image
how dare you belittle me because im different
i rather be happy being me then being sad trying to fit in with this asshole society
I used to write poems
about the colors of your eyes
with a stomach full of butterflies.
But now I write words
about the voices in my head
and how I wish I were dead.
You used to promise
Is it my time? Is it my time to shine?Is it my time to die? On the outside I look like I’m doing just fine. On the inside, I’m trapped inside these happy lies. Is it my time? Is it my time to be free?
This disease, I wont let it get the best of me.
I'm depressed though, it's got me by the throat, how can I get free?
How can I be all I can be, if I'm missing a part of me.
On the oust side, I seem as happy as can be.
Tearful eyes. / Burning throat. / Stiffled cries, / So they don't know, / I scream inside. / I miss my home. / On my outside, / You'd never know. / I'm tired of sadness. / I'm tired of lies. / I'm tired of secrets, / That everyone hides.
Life turns to death, as the present fades to the past
Its the bleeding of pure silence...
The slow thumping of a partially broken heart..
The twinkle of a knife
Hidden by the night
Have you ever seen someone going through a anxiety attack?It's not an east to thing to witness.
Their body tenses against their willThey shake and cry with no cause or relief
Her mind flooded by judgment and oppression
Her body aching from hate
Her soul yearning to escape the cage it was forced into
She is only accelerating her fate
She is only accelerating what is intended
Sea fog lifting, billowing, moist morning mist.
Slug trail shimmering,
faded asphalt.
Quiet, calming, claustrophobic cellar smell.
City alleyway,
sunrise street scent.
Beauty is the eyes of the beholder
That's why he always found beauty in my body
And you always saw it in my eyes
He was only looking for one thing; and liked what he saw
It’s funny how someone who was supposed to love me, never did.
It’s ironic how that a person that I never knew hurt me.
But it’s even worst that I hurt myself.
To Open Her Eyes
When I look in the mirror I see a face
The girl looking back at me is so lost
She feels lonely in a crowded room
But is suffocating in her mind
What do I do to make her smile
Silent, empty, lonely, hated
(Sitting in a classroom, smiling vaguely)
Muffled, lost, self-sedated
(Top grade in the class! Congratulations, be proud!)
Can't think, breathe, feel my way
I like how the cereal screams in terror as I put the little guys in my mouth
Mmh how sweet, cereal blood between my teeth
Snap Crackle Pop! goes the bones of the breakfast mom bought
Every day seems somber.
I look away and
as I walk to school
I can feel myself removed.
I watch myself sit there in class
I watch myself write
I watch myself get through it
I didn't know before how to light a candleTo set by the picture of us on the mantleThere was no flame to light the wayThere was no night to darken the dayThe monsters came to devour the heart
Tears roll down her face as she sees her lover with someone else
Disgusted she feels
She wishes she was someone else
The anger inside from the lies he told
Disrespected from his actions
He is so bold
How can you claim to "love" someone when all you do is hurt them ? What is "Love" ? People say its a big word with so much meaning... Everyone who said they "love" me, all ended up hurting me.
Sometimes I wonder.
Was it a gradual thing?
Or did she wake up one day
Suddenly suffocated by the ring.
When did she realize?
Music speaks to the heart.
That’s valid.
Open wounds and scars
Hidden in the rhythm of a ballad.
Rhythms are emotions.
Bridges from one cliff to another.
Bridges over cold, unforgiving water.
It's life,
Earth-shattering thunder.
No matter what you say,
You dont want what's under.
A bridge is a blessing.
To overcome? You have no idea. The dark is suffocating. The pain is allocating. Try to make it stop. It's not enough. It keeps coming, and coming, and coming. Looking up, praying for better. Why me?
All I am is bonesBreakable and bendableBird bonesHollowed out, emptyCreating a superficial beingSupposed to be sturdyBut empty of strengthTrying to flyAll I am is bird bonesEasily broken
She sat on the porch as she wiped her tears.
Put on the same brave face, the same face shes done for years.
Now she never lets her guard down,and make sure shes always in control.
Well I’ve come to tell you a story.
I gotta warn you, it’s probably not a happy story.
I gotta warn you, it’s probably not even a good story.
But I think it’s probably a true story,
and that’s good enough for me;
Why do you pretend you're happy? With that fake smile on your face, pretending everythings perfect. You go home and cry... Because you're living a lie. With tears rolling down your face, you say you're okay.
Tell me you love me because you want me in your lifeTell me you love me because you mean it from your heart
Tell me you love me because it's written all over your face
After the storm comes a rainbow,
I have been threw that storm but don't know where to go,
where is my rainbow.
I need to feel the calm that comes after the storm,
for it's the only way to reassure my self.
It’s strange.
This feeling.
This heart felt feeling…
Sigh… not again.
Could I… could I really?
No, no, no! I’m not!
I’m probably just sick.
Yeah! Just sick…
Damn, who am I kidding?
Her electric soul,
her aching soul
is scared and shines a
cowardly light.
They call her humble,
humble and divine.
Who wouldn’t love a girl
with skin so fine?
Another white tee
Tie dyed in four shades of red
Out of the twelve you’ve already encountered
Bleach will do no good this time
Neither will a Band-Aid
You never have to worry about people getting in your way
Cast over me, a sheet of confusion and foolishness, and yet it took more than one rude awakening in my life to help pull this sheet off my head but I still wonder why do so many tragedies had to come for me to finally understand a part of life.
Crying in the snow will do no good
The tears you cry will never come out
As the touch of blood feels like snow
The animal that lived before you must move on
Letting go is sometimes the only choice for us
I remember one time
Someone said to me,
"What? Were you emo or something?"
And they laughed.
And I laughed,
But I didn't say anything.
To me, it's not funny.
That rusty blade
DEPRESSION
Depression is like the color black, and is darker than the dimmest parts of space.
It sounds like thousands of screams echoing in your ear, and bashing at your eardrum.
Mother I forgive you for you know not what you do
Call me a zero in hopes it'll motivate me to avoid the bar stool
Most men live there life defining and executing functions
I have yet to define a single variable
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I can't help but feel like there is a hole in my chest I keep searching for something that cant be found until I hear a voice saying "Turn Around" When I looked I couldn't believe just what I saw
When I looked I couldn't believe just what I saw I saw a man Sitting on his throne With my mind blown I fall to my knees Screaming out "LORD HELP ME PLEASE" He says "Son what you're looking for isn't on this EarthBut if you can trust me you wil
Laughter is healing for my soul,
thats the medicine I have chose.
Needless to say I'm okay,
afterall I did laugh today!
Wondering why I may be depressed?
Half the time I'm super stressed,
We are young.
We are strong.
We are capable of anything.
Sometimes we are wrong.
Colorless and yet so colorful. Madness but mostly wonderful..
Did you ever wish you can turn back time
To that one scene in your life.
When listening to your head just didn’t seem right?
Jugular venous pressure is estimated by positioning
A patient’s head at a 45-degree angle.
When the veins in the neck
Are swollen as high as the angle of the jaw,
Blood pressure rises.
There was a place and timeDon't ever go back to thenIt is just filled of memoriesAnd sadnessOf people who don'tRemember you, andPeople whom you wish to forgetYou've visited your past
I'm just a typical teenage girl, but I still struggle.
My thoughts engulf me. I wish I could escape.
The girl you assume you know is probably fake.
I'm a prisoner, one of love. Women an men both abuse love. I give my love out freely an
passionatly. My heart lays crumpled on the floor, weeping blood. It's on the floor because
Dark and despair in the air
Tame those people who want to swear
Make them believe in something else
But keep it close to them like belts
Help them decide to take a better path
In, out
Right, left
Yes, no
Go through the motions.
What if you can't?
The walls are caving,
The ground is shaking,
The world seems to be falling apart.
There once was a girl who could never stop crying,
who had so much pain she envied the dying
Her eyes were red as a recent cut's splatter,
but she could never stop crying, so it didn't matter
you are
the thornless rose that grew amongst the baobab of my ribs
roots that wrapped around my lungs
leaving me breathless and blue
i am content
Sitting here alone and blue
with just my thoughts of you.
Looking into the skies
all I see you blue eyes.
Wishing you were here
for I could hold you near.
I don’t want to be heard anymore, but you are starting to listen.
I finally tell you “no” and you’re finally on your knees then,
Education is spoiled by the rotting brains
Disseminating by the television cell membranes
As learning decreases
Society let's ignorant fame and material things sink in
Getting rich quick is more motivation
Her neck cranes skywards, they are there, beyond the haze and mist of a day long since past. They are there and she will bring them forth. So many times, so often she has searched the endless abyss of the sky for answers.
Time elapses where the world was spinning,
the spinning stops,
the world collapses
Collapsing and falling we all break silently
in the spot that counts
soft, red tissue unmeasured
Can you see her?
can you see the acid rain falls from the skys,
every time she crys?
She walks through life with her head held high,
The blue moon is the theif
that comes to steal
all of those things
that makes us feel-
feel those things
that keep us true
blue moon can only
keep us blue
so recognize-when he comes
They say make love, not war
But there’s always a constant battle
With my heart
I’m always fighting for another
And with every battle
I grow weaker
Losing soldiers, losing power
Will anyone finally understand the pain,
the one in my heart?
For so long I kept it there,
but to what end?
Spinning,
Whirling,
Flailing,
Falling,
Dizzy,
No where to turn.
Distant,
I'm alone, with everyone around me,
Drifting like drift wood,
In a mind boggling sea
its funny almost, how easily you can lose yourself
but how it difficult it is to find yourself again
how you can go from being completely in the now minute
and I only have
the sound of
your footsteps
committed to memory.
because the only
memory I have of you
is the one of you walking away.
When you see a word, scrawled on a line.
Does it ground your thoughts,
Like on anchor
Deep in the sea?
Does your mind roil,
Like a storm that grew up,
All alone,
Abandoned by its parents?
Miss that girl, she used to always smile
She loved talking to her friend and hanging out
She loved to smile
Loved to talk
I do not understand what is wrong
She cries herself to sleep
"What shall I say
Whether or not be truthful
Or bask and in my sorrows all day.
What shall I say?
Sometimes a piercing gaze puts the pain back
And I shut it away.
What shall I say?
It's 2 am, I just want to go to bed,
I need to find a place where I can rest my tired head.
I guess I can go to sleep, but I can sleep when i'm dead.
Bland.
Broke.
Hopeless.
Pain beyond understanding.
It cries out to be fed.
But, the truth is
the food is gone.
Without you here
makes me dead,
makes me want to die.
A picture can be worth a thousand words
A portrait can be just the same
Social scenery that many stand to be in
False and full is behind my lines
A shadowing body that wants and makes
(For full effect, listen to 40 Part Motet- Spem in Alium by Thomas Tallis)
Today I was anxious and in a rumble,
but I tried to stay positive and not stumble.
I looked out the window and saw the blues, the grays, whites and greens,
Poeticinsecuritieshauntingunbrokendreams in placesdeep beneaththe wavesof electrolytespulsingthrougheach brandnew idea.
The past,
the present, loom together to torture.
I can't even seem to remember,
or even able to consider, the future.
Everything is wrapped together in a maze,
the past, present, future, it's all the same.
I thought my first love will be my last
I thought its you that I belong to
But now, what I once thought remains as thoughts
For you are now waiving goodbye.
All your smiles are for me
Behind the door there is another lie
With these two I don’t even get a break
Having to deal with these two until I cry
Staying there will be another mistake
Was walking away, forgetting it all
Angel, oh angel,Why have you forsaken me,Cast me out for nothing,Thrown me to the ravenges of the dark?All this pain,All this torture,For a simple change in thought?Do you know not what I feel,
We have forgotten,
Summer’s last innocence at
Sunset,
How the colors melt into
Oranges and
Yellows and
Purples…
And that faint breeze
That
Used to tell us
We were forgiven.
Do you know how it feels?
to not be comfortable in your own skin?
waking up everyday
and wishing
you looked like someone else
finding beauty in everything
in everyone
but yourself
Why I write
all we did was make eye contact.
but in that instant
between my blink and her smile
Little girls growing up. Limited in their visions.
Little boys growing up. Limited in their prosperity.
Who are we? We the people. We are supposed to be free.
Who are we? We the people. We are meant for simplicity.
She enters the setting,
With a mindset cluttered in utter agony,
But her beaming grin seems so effortless,
Despite the distress staining her heart and soul,
The loons call in the night,
spreading my heart open.
Scarred feet slide across the tile floor,
slipping away in her nightgown.
Down the newly wet grass gateway,
advancing into the shocking water.
Dark temptations,
in my mind its crazy
a woman whose pregnant said its mine im waisted
on some ...
told her to abort,
shes worried
but said this seeds thats inside is chosen
Born into a world were it’s not guaranteed I’ll succeed.
I still reach high, breaking stereotypes as I go.
I graduated from High School; I am in college.
What else is there left to achieve?
As I sit and think… LIFE.
Dark brown eyes with a personality that brightens any gloomy situation
No one can pronounce the name but remembers the face and the smile
It surrounds me,
It smothers me,
It hides me,
It even protects me...
Without it I can do nothing
With it I can do nothing
In my time of need it lifts me up
Before my known days
The sun shone splintering rays of diamonds
With gorgeous scenery to complement
Bliss was rampant
Faith out-lasted
And dreams materialized into obtainable goals
But yet
Why do I write?
Ha
Why do you breathe? Why do fish swim? Why do plants photosynthesize?
Writing to me is not only a way to express myself,
but
a suicide prevention plan,
an escape from reality,
Why do I write?
Ha
Why do you breathe? Why do fish swim? Why do plants photosynthesize?
Writing to me is not only a way to express myself,
but
a suicide prevention plan,
an escape from reality,
Two Weeks:
Two Weeks
Two Weeks too long
Two Weeks dragged on
Two Weeks ended wrong
Two Weeks long gone
Two Weeks
Who would have thought it’d end this way. The crows flying above and the people screaming out of love. The car came out of thin air it seems.
When you look at life as an Ocean, you will suddenly start sinking.
You see the beauty all around, as you struggle to keep breathing.
Your lungs are full of water, the oxygen is depleting.
I dont want the scars
to represent the weakeness
I aquired.
I dont want them
to be a false representation.
They do not define
who I am.
They should not tell you
The rigor of staying sane is
hard to steady, especially
when the rain falls harder
for those minds not ready.
Cold steel touches warm skin.
This time I hope the blade wins...
Sharp edge touches bare skin.
The slice feels like nothing more than the prick of a pin...
Drop by drop crimson appears...
People think me strong. I know that I am weak. People think me wise. I know that I am foolish. People think me happy. I know that despair has taken over my life. People think they know. They have no idea. They don't know my mistakes.
The thought of thinking makes me sick.
The thoughts trap me in my mind.
The thoughts make my simple life so complex.
The thought of ridding these thoughts makes me happy.
Normal is Boring
Doing the Same Routine Daily
Everybody dresses the same
Its like playing an old game of Follow the Leader
One that never ends
We all go this way
Or that way
Poetry is self expression. No guidlines, no rules.
Noone to tell you, "you're doing it wronge" or "you have to do this too."
Poetry doesn't have to rhyme, have 10 beats, or eight lines.
Watching stains on the sidewalk..
Listening to the birds talk,
- Mind's Gone.
No one with the words to say..
or listen to the words I say,
- I'm Alone.
Soft whispers of those who hate..
She rests in painful slumber
Drips with salty sweat
She is unaware of what it means—
Means to be sick with fear.
She chokes on spittle—spews up spittle
Chokes on angry, violent spittle.
Is Fear the feeling that you get when you can’t stand on your own two feet when challenges comes your way?
Is Fear darkness that surround your world and make your eyes can’t see the light?
The darkness around can't get any darker
and the sound of my thoughts can't get any louder
Autumn comes and goes and soon the flowers die
No Honeysuckle to last as the cold encroaches on her
Down the hillside she use to grow but wilted stalks now lie
Not to rise again ‘til spring so winter’s wind cannot shiver
Seven girls danced on a hill,
On the last day of December.
It was a short moment to fill,
Wishing this time would last forever.
As winter was moving to spring,
Seasons of life moved as well.
If words can be a weapon and a bandage both
Forgiving and transgressing with a little flick
Yelling and whispering complements and jeers
On this I then wonder why they need not a leash
The creaky, half-snapped sidewalk chalk
talks out the problems of my lonesome childhood.
My thickly-marked, Fruit-Loop colorings and
blurred characters console me
about my constant house-swapping because
Torn in each direction
Heavily each force draws
Enveloping the sole will
Yearning to be free
Except it’s not enough
X over each lie and fault
Perceiving gone they still are there
Yesterday is one less piece in forever.
Onward moving without regret,
Understanding nothing of human pain.
Sometimes it would be nice to put Time on a leash,
Eventually It could understand what it puts us through.
There is something missing between there and here
Hope is not enough to cross the great divide
Everything is riding on this
Choosing whether to stand or run
Having lost sight of the road
Under darkness we fall
Have you heard a mocking bird?
Every time he sings it is another bird’s song—
Just mockery exits his throat,
Only to lure someone into a bigger trap.
I know some mocking birds well—
Never a fowl word,
Maybe this is a beginning of a story,
You’ll never know.
Far from the beginning and the end,
Another person might see the truth.
The question is can you?
Hearing only what you care to,
As I aim to try, though I work and cry,
It's all just a lie which I will not deny.
I try to gain, in introspect,
A sense of wonder and respect.
I could talk for hours about time.
Time is the catalyst
to all things.
The good times,
the bad times.
The time we wished
was still here
and the time to come.
Every morningIts the same.I stay in bed Counting the minutes until Dementia comes to wake me up.
Alas the light turns onAnd the fans go offAnd everything becomes Dead and silent.
I've came a long way,
from being teased to switching my tassle,
I always figured my life was a hassle,
Waking up wishing bullies would go away,
I just couldn't grasp the concept of it in a way,
Sometimes I just walk
I walk with no destination in mind
Away from the flock
There are no signs
I just walk
there aimlessly floating
above cranium
slowly envel( o p i n g
mind to airy delirium
grasped and clenched
then stole presence.
so no longer occupy
space around: the reality you deny
It’s in the broken hours of the night that minds pace
through hallways of a never-ending maze
Sleep is just the prize of a game we barely play
We don’t need to close our eyes to see what we fear
Thinking, hard and easy.
Hard when you have 50 thoughts and you only need 1.
Easy when you have 50 thoughts and you only need 1.
Thinking.
When I play chess I think till I win.
I wonder what it feels like to drown in the sky
Dancing above the rooftops
Watching time fly by
Inhaling all the clouds
If I had a breath to breathe it’d rip it from my lungs
As I sank closer to the stars
Dark galore
The minute my hands shut the door
Blank music sheets spread on the floor
Spiderwebs on the stairs
In body, I am much the same,
The mind however's, a different game.
I am not bound, on earth to tread,
Nor to sail, the seas of dread.
Not constrained, by death or time,
I am free, I've learned to fly.
My days are blurring over
Everything turning into one dark grey
The thoughts I think all different shades
Cool, Dark. Subtle, Sudden. Shocking, Gawking…
The greys chase eachother through my mind
I could have escaped life without even dying
I could have had tears come down without even crying
I could have made an effort without even trying
I could have not spoke the truth, but no, i was not lying
As I sit and think I don't know what to think about
Should I think about the day, the sun, the moon, the night?
Should I think about music, it's flats, sharps, and it's lines?
Live life
Love life
Live happy.
Be happy
Stay happy
Live a life of happiness and always be alive.
The day I saw my superhero first cry Was the day that she deployed That wall she had built ten feet high Cracked until it was destroyed And when she came back with fear She killed her sorrows drink after drink It was like she wasn’t here It was li
