growing up
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I am from long train rides, crossing borders and foreign foods.
I am from the competitive spirit of any and all sports.
I am from the world of music; pop, rock, reggae, you name it.
Sweet melodies.
I am from long train rides, crossing borders and foreign foods.
I am from the competitive spirit of any and all sports.
I am from the world of music; pop, rock, reggae, you name it.
Sweet melodies.
Sometimes I miss being a kid
Being younger
Being cradled by my mommy when I get a scrape on my knee
Playing outside with my sister and laughing
Going to the park and having fun with my daddy
No you're not.
No it didn't.
No you don't.
I can't handle that.
I can't deal with you right now.
You are ten years old.
I'm sure you're just exaggerating, she's not that mean.
When did I get bad?
I remember elementary school,
Straight A’s,
Huddling in with my friends when its cold,
Building giant snowmen in the field,
All of my heroes were housewives
Smoke a cigarette and pour me some wine
Pop me a pill and I'll start to unwind
I dreamt I had a daughter.So pale and fragile she cameInto this world fighting.And with her tiny fist wrapped aroundMy pinkie finger,I could tell she would fight to stay in it.
i met the devil last night
she wore my face
and had slinked on my body like a coat
she looked like myself,
though a few years younger
All the adults think that their kids are just
Dying to get
Older,
Leave their childhood far away
End the Legos and playdates, leave
School hoping to get paid. Buy their first
Life is a piece of cake or so I thought.
That is what I always hoped but never found,
A little boy rolling around like a ball on the ground
Pushing for more when I just never knew
I am naive,
I have everything.
Being a youngin,
Is not that horrendous.
Growing up
Is like jumping out of a plane without a parachute.
that night felt like a memory.
one locked in the deepest corners of a mind
left to years of dust and deep-seated heartache.
it was a ripple, sent to announce some
How long will it take me just to get rid of anxiety
My shaky hands can show you i'm not used to the formality
But as I find myself growing more out of my comfort zone
I think I finally found a way to call it a normality
Tired eyes wander over foggy plains, unfocused but searching.
The overcast sky casts a dreamy gloom over a face with sunken sockets and dry lips.
The path of a forest stream is
guided by the gentle branches of surrounding groves
meandering angles shaped by stoic roots
driven deep into the bitter earth
“Good night you two, I love you.
You can stay up,
Just promise me you’ll stay in your room, okay?”
Father said
The first breath of a babe, damp with life
Cries out for the sustaining nectar of oxygen.
Arms and legs lash out sparatically
Unable to percieve it's holy human fortune.
Though it's skin is fragile as linen
When I was around sixteen, I became hyper aware of how the boys my age categorized the girls around them.The ones they found attractive were worthy of attention, the others... not so much.
Working on assumptions sucksyou're feeling this, tell meyou don't feel this, tell meyou want this, tell meyou don't want this, tell mejust tell me
Plant a kiss
On whoever’s forehead you can
Without awakening
The more goodbyes the better,
But too many
On those who care too much
My momma messed up
She had me young
Do better she said
As I begun
I grew up right
They raised me well
I thought that I
Had figured it out
But it was not right
That night of hell
A patch of growing hair on an otherwise bare head,
A thumb in a mouth that speaks
Undeveloped words,
That forms a smile purely for the joy of
Smiling.
Blinded as I peek,
Nudging my chin towards the nearest peak.
Childish movies flicker off screen,
My stretches met with a thousand sun beams.
Walls hug the wise orange sky,
Growing up is getting old
with heartache and storms
Going through these years
in most ways i've become cold
Once numb to sensations
my walls built so high
Now I feel everything
Be careful, my child, when you go outside to play.
For there are bad people,
Evil people,
Who find their fun in stealing little girls like you away.
Memories created are stored in the colors of sky and sea,
grass and kitchen counter.
Feelings of music and pain are stored in the apple-scented air and sweet breeze of the place I used to be.
When I was a kid
I was shy/
I only made myself acquainted with the tools in the shed instead of friends
Because in the end
I would trade homework for friendship
I miss being comfortable with you
do you miss that feeling too?
I miss giggling until midnight with you
do you miss the laughter too?
I miss being young with you
do you miss our childhood too?
I become more like the woman I wished to be everyday
I wear golden rings
And keep mints in my bag
Car keys in my pocket
My right-side brain's growing fowers,
my lungs are sprouting roots.
My heart's a dripping beehive,
its sweetness all for you.
So wrap it all up in paper,
send a burnt offering to the sky.
I climb out my window just to see if I can.
My parents used to be police officers, no joke,
yet here I am in the clubhouse of a legitimate gang.
We are still the children painting pictures to hang on the fridge,
but now it's too late to start over.
Too late to pick a different color.
Every stroke is a different future and every drop a different reality.
Dear school, why do we need you to get around in life?
Dear school, why do we need to go?
Dear school, why don’t you teach us valuable resources ?
I thought being with you
would put an end to me taking care of everyone else
that being with you would be easier
I thought I would be able to breathe
but maybe it isn't something I was forced into
A series of fortunate events led me to grow up, to glow up, to dream of living more by the Torah - to give up my childish dreams and rebellious fantasies. Number One - All my “number one”s suddenly seemed immature and annoying.
My little belly kicks have turned into footsteps,
My frilly dresses have become crisp skirt suits,
They told me, all my young life:
Time heals all wounds --
and I assumed that they were right.
But what, I wonder,
heals the wounds
that Time inflicts?
There’s milestones for everything
To help keep track of time
That more and more seems to pass
Far faster than it should
Time flies by
As my face changes
Stretches my limbs and dims the grin
It wasn't a sudden realization,
but suddenly,
I didn't fit my tutus or ballet shoes,
I stopped sleeping with plushies piled on my covers,
I quit counting my steps as I walked.
Catch myself sometimes.
Thinking about
the child I once was.
Must have been.
Catch myself poring over dregs;
the remnants of my gawkiness.
Such as the carriage of my body;
I have never done this before.
It's a calm autumn afternoon in my high school foods room.
I'm volunteering for a children's cooking class by helping them cut their apples.
In the beginning,
I was a little brown and white bird,
Full of a carefree song,
Safe in the warm nest of my mother's world.
As I grew,
I remained strangely small,
And terribly confused,
The crinkle of an old book opening
Shining light splits the night.
While everyone else is sleeping
the world around me shines so bright.
Finally, the book is finished,
it is time for sleep.
Some days I feel I’m still a kid
With rosey rosey cheeks.
I haven't done too much adulting
In oh, some several weeks.
I laugh, I cry, I scream and shout
Intelligent, diligent, on top with perks
People from high places wanted me in victory
The letter grades, the letters of proof, accomplishments
The water looked so good, too good
But my heart, mind, and soul
When I was 2 my sister was born and I was no longer a baby.
When I was 4 my brother was born and by then I could change a diaper.
At 8 people always said how mature and grown up I was, what a help, a second set of hands.
Swirling, swaying, spinning in time to the blaring music
I close my eyes
When they open, I’m a little girl
One day you wake up and something seems different,
You can’t quite figure out what it is that instant.
So many people you were friends with seem immature and kid-like,
Comparing them to you is like night and day light.
A milky white substance
Condensed into one area
Grows on one place you hate the most
Your face
Your perfect face
Now riddled with acne
Pimples covering
What used to be smooth
Playful smiles
Colorful walls wrapped up like gifts
Evenings of laughter
Car rides that turned to roller coasters
is looking down
at the stupid cute eyes of a kid
wide with admiration and knowing
that you have to live up to the
cool big kid you are in their eyes.
Growing up
It's as though it was just yesterday.
My life seemed to fall downhill.
Entering highschool things were great.
Until the first injury,
then the surgery,
followed by the loss of friends.
from a naive little kid in the past
to a grown matured man of the present
from playing outside and having a blast
to working a job and having to represent
The cool wind on our faces
The happy smiles all around
As children, our favorite places
Included being on the playground
We said we couldn't wait to grow up,
We didn't know what we meant.
We thought growing up meant
"Because I said so" would be ours to say
We thought growing up meant
Nothing would stand in our way
The bright days started to fade.
The blue sky turned to dark.
The happy family broke to pieces.
The endless playtime turned to long working nights.
We were different;
We were different before paying bills
We were different before heartbreak
We were different before going out into the world.
The world;
A matrix of experiences,
When i was little i was afraid of dying
until one day i wasn’t anymore
i prayed for it
my childhood ended.
5th grade
elementary school
And I’m back, once again at the drawing board.
I know life’s a rollercoaster
And I’ll have bad days,
But I always find myself back here;
Come with a headache,
Write with a heartache
The first time I saw my father cry
we were on the side of the road
the flip phone landed in his lap
from the back seat, I watched his shoulders shake
The second time I saw my father cry
The Shorter Days
Sitting in a classroom,
Staring at the clock;
Why does the day feel
So long?
Barbie dolls
Makeup phones
Princess gowns
Gone
Plastic friends
Cell phone bills
Hospital gowns
So, this is the world
It’s colder than I remember
Childhood felt like the warmth of May
These days feel more like December
So, this is the world
Is growing up like graduation,
A sudden change, an exclamation?
Or is it like radioactive decay,
As childhood wastes away?
Whatever the case may be,
What it is for you,
It will not be for me,
When I was in the ninth grade
The school wanted us professional in how we dress and how we behave
A certain day of the week
Which they called a bit of a treat
From the normalcy of uniforms of khaki and navy
Let’s get one thing straight
I haven’t grown up yet
After all these years
After all I’ve said
After what I’ve done
I haven’t grown up yet
However, things have changed
Has it really been fifteen years
since I first took little steps onto Marley.
Her grey appearance that welcomes all while reflecting
the fluorescent lights above.
Little Girl
That little girl who no longer sits at the table, quailing away from the green monstrosities
She forages for the ripest of them all
Cooked or raw, she isn’t picky
Growing up always seems lightyears away
No kid ever realizes that in reality, it is right around the corner and here to stay
Acquiring independence tastes bittersweet
As the changes a child faces are quite a feat
A light in my eyes fades
As the stain of life stays
And they all look up to me.
A broken and failing shell
Sparkling eyes and tender flesh are shielded from the world in a tight hug.
A photograph captures my father’s love.
People, humans, mankind
A bit of a mystery, so it seems
After a bit of growing up you think there’s nothing to redeem
On the outside looking in, it may appear that we have it all together
Growing up doesn’t happen to you all at once.
Changes happen all the time,
But not the big ones,
The important ones.
Those, you only get in moments.
I remember being 12
going to the movies with friends
the purity of not knowing
the simplicity of worrying about
what others thought of me.
I remember being 16
I've done all the work. I've tried to do everything right.
I graduated high school at 16, and college at 20. Here I am in grad school nearly begging for money.
A stranger knocked upon my door
I went to run away
To hide upstairs inside my room
Until they’d gone away
I am from
dead leaves
on oak trees
to green grass
covered with trash.
I am from
chimingchas
every Sunday
to hearing
"Hey! Go hit
the hay!"
It was late one night.
Driving around, not a care, I felt so light.
Oh my! I was high as kite!
While I thought I couldn't be bothered, my friend let out a holler.
"COPPER!"
Oh my! What a fright!
When sleepless nights became a habit
The days I woke up tired
When trick stopped working, counting white rabbits
The day I was first hired
In this world there’s nothing but greed
By now in life you have faced some demons;
Learned the corners and closets to avoid.
You coddle your innocence
In the soft and cuddly things around you.
It is senior year and I am
standing on the side of the road
and I can hear a truck coming.
I’ve spent my whole life telling people
what they want to hear but
nobody’s told me this one.
I remember like yesterday, the year 2002,
At three years old, there was so much I never knew.
I thought DisneyWorld was on a cloud in the sky,
For the first time I looked at her
And saw that she was her own.
Not just a mother but with
Pain and worries
Wearing her down.
We sat beside a hospital bed and
I was invited to a movie night out with my friends
It was Friday, it would do none of us harm.
This was our time to have fun and forget
Child Like by Natasha Bartley
When did I realize I wasn’t a kid anymore, you ask?
I have yet to understand the concept.
Of child.
From This to That
By Jeremy Onsinyo
With a concentrated reminiscent thought
You remember your faintest memories from childhood
A little version of myself,
scrawls words under "Dear future me" on a post it,
hides it behind a frame,
tries to forget it exists.
A bigger version of myself,
reads the words on that post it,
When you first find yourself faced with the reality that you’ve “grown up”
You end up stumped with what you are expected to do.
Regardless of the fact that I spent my formative, adolescent years
growing up
the antonym of easythe symptoms hit meand everything changed
I am still the samebut in some ways I amdifferent
In her eyes the world started off small and to her surpriseit was a sin to grow oldAge wasn't the purpose of her discovery, rather than the wisdom that came with no recovery
Facing the light I walk through unplanned days,The hours went slow and they hung me in a daze,Ringing bells of laughter and singing improvised songs,I took things for granted but not to do wrongs,
It all began when I started to like boys.
But little did I know, those were all decoys.
They told me sweet nothings as if I was one of their toys.
Glow Up Scholarship
Money
The day I first worried about it
I was no longer a kid
16 years old
Father in the hospital
Twinkle, twinkle little star
Far away,
Make a wish.
Twinkle, twinkle little star
Please my wish,
Please come true.
Little me,
Oh how cute!
You thought looking at the stars
I used to be an absent-minded fool
A porky cheeked boy with the smile of a mule
This was way back in the olden days
When I'd be fooled in innocent ways
When I'd run through the sprinkler hose
There’s this static noise
In every phone call
Getting harder to ignore
As the days go by
An unspoken truth:
As the sands of time fall
And collect in a mound
I stop and reflect
On the wisdom I've found
For every day is a lesson
A subject to learn
And by the end of the day
Priceless knowledge is earned
Highschool? Oh please.
I passed exams with ease.
Go home, catch some Zs.
I thought to myself, college will be a breeze.
Grad parties were tons of fun.
I always spoke my mind and said what I believed necessary to be said.
When I caught mom in a drunken lie, I confronted her and argued with her.
I never minded staying up late on school nights to engage mom in a screaming match.
Wake up at noon to the sound of a birds.
Mom and Dad don't nag anymore.
Thrown in a world with no money,
Hoping to find your way.
Going to school, and
Trying your best.
That's me now.
"REBMEMER."
Those are the 8 black letters tatooed on his chest.
The eight letters that are actually "REMEMBER" backwards,
So that every morning, when he wakes up on base,
When I was a little girl
I frowned at the belly below me
I looked at women in magazines and thought
How could that ever be me?
When will I be worthy?
When will I be good enough?
At a local grocery store they offer free cookies to kids.
The peeling sign plastered on the glass pastry case reads
“Hey Kids! Have a FREE cookie!”
Staring in the mirror
But a day or two ago
The person that I saw
No longer did I know
The harder that I stared
The more foreign she became
The childish whims forgotten
A new path to be displayed
Her love is a warm and unconditional gift, I cherish her heart, knowing it’ll never shift. She kisses me goodnight and tells me goodbye, Her voice is my favorite lullaby. My heart ached when I had to leave, But I yearn for the phone calls that I
Just east of here lay
A girl of late adolescence
In a field of paper flowers
Raindrops cascade here and there
I used to read a lot more,
That’s just a hardened fact.
Now what I read is simply for school,
Annotations, blue and black.
I remember loving books,
The world is full of wonder.
Trees to climb, creeks to splash in.
Daddy comes home, the swing goes higher and higher.
I scrape a knee, mommy fixes it with a kiss.
Then comes the dark times.
I thought it was something everyone was able to see. A child disguised as an adult. 19 I wasn’t sure how to go about all the new that was around me. A new job, a new life, and a very long way from everything I once knew.
A white light looks through a piece of glass and sees a variety of colors.
A white sees a purple light and thinks,
"I love how purple is so pretty!"
"I'm wish I could be as beautiful as purple."
I was aware that life was tough
I believed some people exaggerated the truth
Here and then though, you face the truth
My first semester at college was troublesome
Heart Breaking
Tear Inducing
My world stopped when you left
Sleepless Nights
Numb Feelings
I couldn’t pick myself back up
I wanted to forget
I wanted to stop existing
All together
Me, Myself and I.
Everyday, I wake and try
One step at a time.
Everyday, I wake and cry
One time, I was small
And carefree, lovely, and kind
I was just...
Me, Myself and I.
Tired.
Exhaustion
I seek to be retired
Where did it come from
Starting when I first came to the planet
Beginning of my life
Mother’s Day Flowers:
An open letter from your mother:
An embryo encased within the sheath of a seed,
I have loved you since before you were born.
They say the Apple doesn't fall far from the tree,
But I have tried so hard to just be free.
Trapped in the life that was killing me.
The name "Tokyo" may ring a bell,
One of the best known cities, from what I can tell.
It's a shame that no one talks about southern Japan,
beautiful and full of temples that are quite grand.
summer was a loud season,with joyous screams and laughterfrom adventures at the beachand shenanigans with friends.
Period.
Not the kind present
at the end of a sentence,
not the kind that
boldly sends a message.
But the secret kind.
Five foot two- can't fill those shoes
You never knew the pain they put me through
Five foot three- can't find real me
You say I'm my own, but never felt free
Five foot four- s'you I adore
There I was
A little girl
Who did not know
What life would bring
I used to wonder
my first true love was an online relationship,
he was older and more experienced in every way.
we met on a game and instantly clicked,
it didn't take very long until we were talking every day.
in May I cut
my hair as short
as I dared
and stood before
you with bared
neck. and then
suddenly
I didn't anymore resemble
the little girl who sat on your lap,
looking up,
I grew up in a small town
Where everybody knew my name.
When I was young I yearned to live more
and spread my wings and fly away from this place
Looking back that seems crazy
This town has made me who I am
Love comes in all shapes and sizes
It’s a flower in the middle of December
It’s the song lyrics that you always remember
It’s singing at the top of your lungs
It’s something of an out of body experience
The first time you see
Your mother
Cry
It’s shocking.
For the first time it’s
Not bright happy tears
Or the sort that spring up
and she was gone
i used to know dinosaurs and
princesses
i used to know smiles and
laughter
i used to know where i was
safe
i used to know where mommy
was
I remember when I could singunafraid of how I sound. I remember when I could flyunafraid of the hard ground.
To love you now is to love you then;
adopting a ticking time bomb and calling it my best friend.
Forgetting that the fuse was lit,
Like a PB and J with too much jelly,
Growing up is too sweet at times.
Sometimes your bread gets soggy,
And you scrunch up your face from the texture.
Other times it has too much peanut butter.
you meet these people
on the path of life
as lovers, as friends, as family
as something entirely different
sometimes they stay,
Dear old me,
Where did you go so fast?
Making mud pies with dirt
Drinking water from the water hose
Having so much fun until you had a filthy shirt
Wishing that this life wouldn’t past
When you claim to not be a child, it's like
Saying you can breath underwater or see through walls:
Only a child thinks that.
But to say an adult cannot be a child
A blank screen,
with simple line, deleting and rewriting itself constanly.
Nothing but negative space
waiting to be filled
with words and ideas
of a madman.
deep breaths of silence come
He was strange
One to be mocked
shamed
outcasted
He was someone I didn’t understand
So he was bad
Now I don’t know
I never had a say
in anything.
I had to be quite,
submissive,
complaint.
Poor child me,
I believed I could trust him,
Was told I had to,
told he was my father.
I had to listen to him,
This morning I took a hike on a trail I once considered my stomping grounds when I was a child, and the reality set in
Friends are important. They may be the only reason why I’m still here today; they've brought meaning back into life.
3,000 miles is a lot
3,000 miles is a lot to move away
from the normality and reality of your everyday
life, the start of a new routine
even a new wardrobe
which is a teen girls dream
I sat beside the garden hose,
trying ot stick it up my nose.
But mom said no, you'll hurt yourself
Dad said no, go clean myself.
I dismally walked from that place,
with a slight grunge on my face,
You were so quiet before.
A meek, fragile sort.
Your art was never seen by other eyes
You thought they’d think you were telling lies.
you started running
was it because you were afraid?
or because you were finally free?
your shoes were worn
who knows when you bought them,
as long as they could last the journey
the biggest change happened
during spring of junior year
when i saw my father
cry
and i realized that
those who seem the strongest
are those who are most
broken
I realized that I
I returned home from Atlantis
with new armor and a new head —
blades still sharp from the last stoning —
feeling very nearly a tourist in my own land.
You fail to realize the destruction seen in my tears,
Of everything you put me through in my adolescent years.
Finding it hard to see past the drink;
Never taking the time to reconsider and to think.
Drugs were addicting. I suppose I enjoyed seeing everything and feeling nothing. Though I did kind of feel alive - to be staring into the face of the Grim Reaper. He once wrapped his hands around my throat.
I slid my blazer over my pressed white shirt
smoothed away crooked edges and frays
like I'd been doing for days and days
Glancing in the mirror
I applied a smile
and more than a hint of confidence
Growing up when you're a little means freedom
Growing up when your little means having a voice growing up when your little means growing physically
but it's funny
I remember being that child
So doe eyed and blurred
I didn't really know life changes
I was only 6 years old
Schooling was hard
Not studying or reading
I was great at that
When my toes finally poked through
Those converse sneakers from 8th grade
And my shirts got a bit too tight
When the boys stopped wanting to play ball
And the girls just wanted to fight
I think I realized I wasn’t a kid anymore when
Everything changed. I don’t really remember…
Did I wake up one morning and it was all different
The first time I grew up,
I was ten years old.
I was wearing a blood red dress
And a wide-eyed, prepubescent smile.
My mother bought me ice cream
i had a dream that my penis fell off while sleeping next to you, and it was the greatest climax ive ever had-
the loss of will, not the person
When your face gets more and more wrinkles
and your eyes become deadened without its twinkle
that’s when you know you’re an adult
When no one cares about your excuses
It’s all about how you can fix this
Sandwiched between innocent fingers
Are wrinkled dollar bills
And the cashier’s eyes linger
On my own.
Grown up in an instant
Only twelve, but
Blonde hair in pigtails
and those curious blue eyes.
She lived in a fairytale
Dad's joy and pride.
One day he left home
she didn't understand.
Mom said it had been coming
I bounded down the stairs devoid of a single care.
School was out and it was time to have fun.
I peaked out the window to see pairs of girls with flowing hair
and kids like me soaking up the sun.
Brown hair blowing in the wind as she chases a kite.
Laughing oh so sweetly. She's so tiny.
As her mother watches her run in the bright sun beaming down on her.
She begins to cry.
I focused so much of growing up
That I didn't live.
I didn't live
so I never grew up.
I've come to this point,
between home and abroad,
where love is more potent,
and yes is but a simple nod.
Laughing for nothing,
is our favourite pasttime,
while eating sweeet treats,
I am from Clarksville, Tennessee
Where the summers are hot
But the winters are not.
I am from Minglewood Elementary
I run my hands down over my head
Outlining the shape of my skull
And wonder
This year runs, the next one sprints
Summer birthdays start to lose meaning
8,000
9,000
10,000
Feet high
Alone I soared,
Alone in the sky,
Alone I sailed,
When reaching new heights,
New forces unveiled,
The icy wind's bite.
On the radio I hailed,
We are not designed to go through motions,
But intended to fulfill devotions.
Now that I seized my dream,
I have something new to bring.
Three years old I dreamed of being a veterinarian.
Six years old I made my first friend.
Nine years old I learned how to multiply and divide.
Twelve years old I realized how cruel others can be.
Growing up wasn’t when your dad started hitting you,
Or when you finally came out to your family only to be humiliated,
Or even when your best friend got knocked up in 10th grade.
I remember deciding I was awesome, and that
was all that mattered.
I remember thinking others were bossy,
Crying because I was called the same.
It begins with:
3 sisters with familial love built from brick,
6 hands encumbered with budding sunflowers,
6 feet that were miles from homesick, and
Home
My mother is yelling
about how she hates her life.
I can practically see her exasperated expression
as she slams pots and pans.
When you’re four, you ask your mom why a dime is smaller than a nickel
One larger than the other, yet only the worth of five pennies
Your mom still buys you matching sets to wear to school
I know this all too well
I have two parents
Which means twice the yelling
I get it
I learned I was growing up,
On a cold, snowy day
After returning from the christmas holiday
I learned I was growing up
When I heard whispers of other students;
"Did you hear?"
Growing up is difficult.
Growing up in a third world country is also difficult.
Moving away was hard.
It wasn't easy.
I dont think it'll ever be.
A hard wood high chair was where I sat
It is uncomfortable now but not at the age I was at
I looked around the room and saw many people eating
It was another Saturday night and we were having a family meeting
Growing up can be tough
It can also be carefree
Though my best friend had it rough
And growing up happened early on for me
She tried to end it all
Then she spent some time away
When I realized
I was filled with shock.
It had never before occured to me that,
I was no longer a child.
I had sought the concept of being a grown up
for as long as I could remember.
Adulthood daunting, calling, taunting.Empty applications haunting.Heartbeat thudding in my chest,Through one more standardized test.
This little boy was only 12 you see
His life was going perfectly
When the world fell apart suddenly
The things I've noticed would certainly go unnoticedI've inherited the things you've done in the pastWhether that’s good or bad I know it'll last
I used to dream in the world in my head,
let my imagination take flight as the buildings went by.
I could dream up wild elephants from Africa, or starships from space
Was it when I was six
and I’d hear them screaming
down in their bedroom
when they thought I was sleeping,
was it when I was seven
and they told us
they were divorcing
followed by my dad
The summer before
I’m getting all these chores.
Only picking up after me? That’s no more.
Now it’s everyone's which bores.
These are the baby teeth you forgot about
the pieces of you that you don't remember
the sweetness of your innocence
the roots of your upbringing
that passed by in rollerskates and scraped knees
It wasn't until one day,
A Thursday to be exact,
That I opened my eyes slowly
To the shimmering beams of light.
Soaked deep beneath my skin,
I welcomed the light.
The glow emitted from within me
When I was twelve I asked my mother if
I could go bungee jumping. She said
NO. But she let me go paragliding.
I took the chance.
Here I am.
grass tickles my legs
i breathe in the sweet air
bliss after an eternity in the classroom
in my periphery
A child often views one's life like a book
With himself as the lead,
Their friends and family the supporting cast to their lives.
Life is a mirror they stare into,
I lived three years on a dusty trundle bed,
In a small room.
A lock on the window.
I would cry myself into dreams shroud in dust.
I was no longer a child when I realized my greatest fear was not that of the dark, but of being so vulnerable and helplessly in love that I would not be able to stop my heart from being broken.
When I sit on my roof to watch the sun riseI see the sun smile as he is painting the skiesBefore i was old, I don’t think i could seeWell not really old, just the end of seventeenI never noticed the sky, and all of its worthEven though its been th
I was in a box with a window,
wathing the worlds go round.
Watching how good the world was to those who put in their share
to those who worked hard
to those who had patience.
the night sky pours over us
like a cup of coffee
no cream
we lay on the grass
without a care in the world
in this moment
all we have is each other
and i've never been so fulfilled
I can feel it inside me
like a fire burning from within
the stresses of life burning a hole in my core
the bills that need to be paid
the friends that are fading away
the job that i despise but need
Mirror, mirror on the wall
I’ve thrown away your crystal ball
No more fake love stories, no more feeding girls lies
I see right through your little disguise
Growing up is not always bad.
Sometimes it will even make you glad.
Growing up can sometimes leave you in the dark.
Growing up can help you leave your mark.
Growing up can be scary.
Until I realized I was grown
Bouncing down the convenience store aisle
Pulling the sleeves of your shirt down over your shoulders
in an effort to feel older
and more grown up.
Walking slowly down the street
Ignoring the sun's blistering heat
An ice cream cone in my hand
To keep cool in this hot land
But then the ice cream falls
The splat echos off the walls
I realized I wasn't a kid anymorewhen I stepped out of the front doorby myself, backpack on my back,eyes looking straight ahead, above the floor.I was going to school on my own,No longer feeling alone,
Growing
It’s not the fastest of processes.
It takes time
Patience
Commitment.
It’s a network of memories, people, and experiences.
It was him who found me.
The giant with the calloused palms
I was simply a form
Clumsy in my gargantuan new body
Horns piercing from my back;
I exist
In the subtle rhythms
The periphery of perception
In gentle sea breezes
And silky laughter
In the dance of falling leaves
And dreams I lust after.
I construct my reality
Growing up
I never wanted to
Wanted to stay a kid
for as long as I could.
First went recess
then playing pretend.
Later went classes
of reading for fun.
Ring… ring… ring…
Voicemail.
“I guess I’ll try again”
Ring… ring..
“Hello?”
Shit.
My voice sounds like someone else.
Do you ever just let your eyes wander,Let them sift along, searching for purpose?At once it appears, no time to ponder,On no account have I been so nervous.Nothing could fully prepare one for this;
Growing up, in itself, is not an abrupt affair
Filled with pomp and circumstance.
It does not stun one into silence
Or leave one with ringing ears
Growing up,
We wanted to make our family proud.
Our teachers thrilled.
Our peers happy.
But growing up,
We always made our family shake their head in disappointment,
Our teachers in disapprovement,
Childhood.
A concept where everyone hopes,
Wishes, and dreams
Will last a lifetime.
There is much stigma on both sides,
They kept asking for it
Over and over
My stupid phone
Which is mine, by the way,
And I was so nearly fatally horrifically close to snapping
In half
That I decided we should play a game.
Dirty feet, clean hands
The ground once soft now
grows hard beneath the touch
Flowers
wilting
Earth
growing
Everything is crowded
Everyone knows what's coming
At 1 year old, I said my first word. “Mama”, I said in bold, thinking I was already old.
At 3 years old, my parents told me goodnight stories; stories of dreams,
There is something I know now that I didn't know then...
Back when recess existed and kids ran
To play games of tag or house or kick-ball
Back when I thought there was only right or wrong
How can time be both constant and changing?
It moves fast during pleasure.
It moves slow during anguish.
And it stops when you stop.
Time is a peculiar thing.
slowly highways teach me to gnaw years off their concrete,
from the worn bumper stickers and yellowed life
lines, about fifteen feet above, watching over exit forty-five,
It was a wild fable you see
visions of hippies dancing, singing free
their song resonating within
my jovial mountains
Buddhism captivated me
shook the little girl in kindergarten
and said
Childhood memories, some
Happy and sad. Of
Illness and wellness and
Living with dad. Was
Distanced from others and
Hating it all—now
On with the day. I’m
Destroying the wall.
Hopes change and shift
but never leave me.
Childhood full of happy
after not so great.
Growing up is different
wanting more than a mansion
or a pile of money by the door
You don't know what you're talking about.
Stop acting like you're smart.
Those statistics are all lies.
You can't trust anyone.
Stop talking to people.
You have to keep it all a secret.
Sophomore year, a time of many changes
I’m feeling a lot and this one feeling ranges.
I think I’m in love, but I’m not really sure
I am still so young, still so demure.
Dead trees stand tall
Beige brittle limbs stiff as dried out bones
Silver inside the screaming sky
Snaking between evergreens
Darker than Hooker’s Green in pure white
Unborn and already
A path has been chosen
By those that are not them -
To become another cog
In the inescapable machine that is society.
How to get through The Bad Year
Come home from school every day and cover yourself with blankets
Some days are like a haze
I start to realize that it was all a phase
Who I am today isn’t who I’ll be tomorrow
But “Everything happens for a reason”
Our bones rot and decay
But not yet for me.
As I grow older,
I consider my mortality.
Time goes by and we don't care to acknowledge.
Too busy trying to grow up
And ship ourselves of to college,
A gold mirror always hung on my wall,
I've never seem to think of it at all.
It was there when I lost my first tooth,
to the years of my bloom of youth.
As the years past
And went by fast,
I think I might have learned something recently
In trying to figure out who I am
I’ve only learned who I used to be
That wretched table
Stunted, hunkering low,
Plotting to maim me at the knees,
Gripped by grubby hands and crusty crumbs,
Waiting for me to shrink my self esteem
I dwell as though a sparrow among spires,
Faint, as that of falling dew, in evercansent puddles,
To me your words lose power, rules set out before my time
At the age of 4, I began new adventures;
A hedgehog, a vampire, no, a gamer starting to venture.
I was new and inexperienced, I just didn’t understand,
Like Kindergarten and field trips, I was entering a new land.
It's easy to forget, you know?
That time can pass when you aren't paying attention
And suddenly, your little sister says she likes that boy,
And your little brother is taller than you are,
From swing sets and slides
To broken hearts and teary eyes
From riding bikes and wishing we were older
To realising it’s not as warm as we think
It’s colder.
When my parents first split
Protection
It's what I grew up knowing I had
What would happen when all that went bad
Took two seconds
Was that not enough?
Growing up in Southcentral was truly rough
revised from Daddy's Little Girl
I remember the little girl she used to be
in her bright tutus and soft-footed slippers.
When our biggest concern isn’t about
Fighting over the hula-hoop at lunchtime,
we’ve grown up
When our days are no longer filled with recess and giggles
we’ve grown up
When our eyebrows start to furrow
It was the Thanksgiving of last year
I was with family and peers.
When my uncle came up to me and asked,
"Have you decided on your college yet?"
Bloom. Life begins to zoom.
Growing up too soon.
Been six years in school.
Not my first crush but closest
to first love.
Went through things no kid ever should've.
Years of off and on revealed to be
I'm a grown-up now.
And I do grown-up things.
Like pay my taxes, cry at night,
And wear engagement rings.
And I'm a grown-up now.
So I only watch the news,
I drown unfamiliar feelings,
The last few months I thought about it, dreamed about it. Every pro and con, every senario; I was so close, so close to doing it.
I dreamt of a glowing blue square
That seemed to look at me with an ice cold stare.
It chased me in circles around my own house,
But my screams were no louder than a mouse.
I'm only five feet tall.
I'm about to turn 18 years old.
When I was young,
I threw a tantrum on the kitchen floor,
Begging and pleading with my mom,
"I don't want to grow up!"
The demon will always be with me.
It used to control me,
Control what I did, who I talked to.
I could only talk to those who knew, others wouldn't understand.
But at the same time,
I couldn't tell anyone.
I was afraid to be heard.
Afraid to be spoken to or with.
I was supposed to be the loudest in the room, and yet
I was the quietest.
I feared fear itself,
It feasted on my brain and my thoughts
When I was little,
I used to be afraid of
the dark.
I was afraid of all kinds of things:
spiders,
vampires,
snakes, and
What is it like to be eighteen?
Eighteen is driving down a dark road
Blasting music
At 12 am.
Eighteen is a baby eagle
Just leaving
Another failed attempt.
I already regret my weaknesses.
my heart sinks.
my head listens to the mocking sea of voices;
Down
Down
Down
Drowning
Drowning
Drowning
When you’re young life is so simple
Never having to worry about a little pimple
Smiles, laughs and always having attention from someone
There you go again.
Leaving me behind.
Take me with you!
No, don't take me.
Not this time.
I yearn,
And when you finally offer,
I reject.
Because if I accept,
Childhood friends on the playground;
Playing in the sand finding gems;
Getting ourselves dirty for no reason;
Becoming our own superheroes.
I inhale the aroma
of deep fried pastries with powdered sugar
Brahman bulls, pigmy goats, horses,
occasional whiff of weed ...
Young son's initiation: cotton candy,
Eyes dull, downcast
No longer looking for acceptance
Reserved heart as you begin class
And then weeks pass
A spark! How?
This free space you carved
for each dull, downcast eye
- it's me, your daughter.
i don't know what to say to you anymore,
because i feel like you've always been able to say it for me,
the willows that didn't exist in our yard,
the school buses that weren't made for me.
I would do anything
Not to become my mother
I would go anywhere
Not to become my mother
I would be anyone
Not to become my mother
My teacher once told me
he was 'in the winter of life'.
And how beautifully tragic it seemed at first
that we are all seasons.
Hey there Peter Pan,
Come from Neverland,
come to take me away.
We don’t have much time
So let’s make this last
my words have power
like thunder in an otherwise quiet night
they reach ears miles from their source
a crack of light with each ink stain
while the message is carried across cities
If poems could weep
sweet dripping words that speak
the heart's pounding defiant secrets
once forced hushed to a peep,
then let my pen stir rivers and streams,
Remember that monster under my bed,
Claws like a lion and six eyes on its head.
That old monster creeping beneath me
Always making me shout for my dad to go see.
That monster who never did one bad thing to me,
I am from many places
And attached to few
I’ve seen many cities and schools
And buildings and parks and hospitals
And I haven’t even left Florida
From those places, come many sounds
Nine year old me,
wrote how she hated to be,
enclapsed in a world,
full of misery.
Thirteen year old me,
hated to see
how the world,
percieved women to be.
A summer when I was twelve
and my dad's house was always too hot
and the air outside was too dry.
My sisters and I bought sodas with quarters
and drank them at the park -without my parents knowing-.
I'm afraid of heights, but that's not all.
There are no ropes in case I fall.
Now that I'm an adult it seems,
the only escape from anxiety is in my dreams.
I would love to wake up one day,
Tina, my bathroom won’t smell like your hairspray
and I won’t hear your thunder in someone else’s voice
but if your heart chooses to grow, I hope you’ll come to know
Glass clouded with Hemlock's breath,with a crunch I step untoand revel in the sight of deathso sweet, compared to bitter you.
I used to think that all wood was still a tree,alive and strong branches supple and willing to supportleaves, fruit,two little girls full of dreams.Within the cracksin the walls
I’m living life in a river bed --
The path was drawn before I was born.
The world is so loud and full of life,
But silence cannot be hidden here.
I’m living life in a river bed --
What we once fully embraced on our young skin
Is now what we retract from at first contact.
What we once tipped our heads to the heavens above for
We now bow our heads down as if in a prayer.
I want a refund
Is this what growing up looks like?
Chasing last week and
another robot sex club
Coraopolis shows off older buildings and brown concrete
as the car moves down 5th Street.
The bridge soon appears
and the Ohio River rushes on below.
Neville Island- population 1000- is a quiet place.
In the future I will be strong
Someday I will be quick
In due course i will be perspicacious
In the future you will be weak
Someday you will be sluggish
In due course you will be unperceptive
Enveloped in a blanket of sauna,
the weight of humidity calms me.
Faint breezes bare relief only when I need it.
Our porch seems to sit like a tree house
Here in the branches of my childhood climbing tree.
As a way of centering myself
I wanted to drive by my old high school and
My old house.
A
Sucker for nostalgia,
I was surprised to see that
My old house was still exactly where
I don’t know if I will make it through this time.
I don’t want to endure this pain again.
In my heart is it wrong to reminisce?
Alone with myself sobbing back tears.
I have forgotten how it felt to smile.
Some Things Cannot Lie:
The wagging tail of a dog
The chocolate-covered hands of a toddler
The calloused hands of a carpenter-hands cannot hide their life’s work-
At 9 you will discover feel that you are
So grown up-and in too many ways you are
Because you have to be but please remember
That it’s okay to be a kid
Every time I write
I just want to find a way
To tell you the same thing
With words that are new
Every time I write
I hope this time someone will hear me differently
Every time I write
Twenty Two years on
and the child
has flown the nest
The 2nd heads off soon
and the rest
they say is history,
but history has a knack you see
Of bringing you back to reality
In elementary school, administration required my mom to send a handwritten note to excuse me from class
My mom always wrote in cursive
so I could not read the letter.
I felt like a grown up
I'm tired of both of you getting me down.
All you do is make me sick and leave me feeling empty.
I'm not dealing with this anymore.
I'm growing up both mentally and physically.
To my mother
I imagine that before my mother was a woman, she must have been a girl.
It's an odd thing, this imagining.
My mother was once an unfinished human,
The light of my life that left too soon
The person who never got to see her sapling grow
Doing everything for you
Growing into a young woman
You'd be proud of what I've become
Dear future me,
I hope that you're smiling.
I hope that you can say
that you're happy without lying.
Dear Me,
You once were young
With a little toungue
Saying "ma-ma" and "gaa-gaa"
But you never knew what it meant
You played with your food
growing milk staches at two
Alone, that is how I felt
How we felt.
As I look back and realize
You were never alone, you
Had your thoughts, your dreams, and your goals.
They scared you. They broke you, they broke us.
Dear Childhood,
I’m sorry, I can’t seem to save you.
No matter how hard I try, things always fall through.
You’re dangling over an endless void
Dear Little Me,
Please take some advice.
Slow down.
You will grow up.
I promise.
Time will march onward like a faithful soldier.
You can try to stop it,
I wish I could melt memories
of rainy Moon Township days with the newer ones,
in which I see myself drinking watered-down beer
(and hating it)!
Dear Pompa,
We miss you down here. I didn’t know it was possible to miss someone’s silence, but I do.
Dear friend,
How are you?
I must confess,
That mine eyes have not seen,
Your beautiful tress.
Of green leaves,
And long boughs,
And fresh, gentle touch.
I miss you,
Pain in the Ass
From the moment I was born I have been
a complete pain in my mothers ass,
literally, red faced and over eager to escape
where I came from, I broke her tailbone.
Pain in the Ass
From the moment I was born I have been
a complete pain in my mothers ass,
literally, red faced and over eager to escape
where I came from, I broke her tailbone.
I open the door and get whipped in the face with the playful autumn breeze
The skies are gray-blue and the air chilled with oncoming winter; the Sunday of summer is here
Dear Self,
Time travel is real
I know what you're thinking
she is crazy
but it is definitely real
it's hard to find though
Dear Life,
I remember
a time when it was cool to rhyme,
and parents would applaud because you knew that
dog rhymed with
hog and log.
Dear Daddy,
Do you remember that day out on Tiana Bay?
I was four years old,
Big brown eyes, twig legs, and abounding joy.
We went on the boat,
Dear Christmas,
You are like a first love,
I was obsessed with you, I couldn't stop thinking about you.
But I got older, we grew apart.
And then you were a memory.
We were told when we were little we could be anything
Little girls could be princesses
Little boys could slay dragons
Most Birthdays,
I weep.
But not 17
When I was thirteen
I cut my hair too short,
and got that camera I wanted
and I wept into my mothers shoulder
because I didn't feel fufilled.
Childhood's games with my best buddy turned into
his father "breaking up" with me for him
in front of my mother.
All night video games binge-sessions shifted into routines of
staying in my bedroom all night
Dear Mom,
1. You dropped seeds of rosebush from your tongue and let me grow in the warm
cave of your love. You were the light I grew towards.
1. It’s okay to cry, don’t let him beat it out of you because if you hold those tears inside, they will eventually drown you.
2.Embrace the parts of you that are fearless-they make you strong. Don’t suppress that, own it.
I'm not sure how it happened, but
I woke up one day to realize
I haven't aged in a very long time
These bodies don't define who we are
I reach down and take your hand in mine
And it is cold but still comforting
As we look down from this hill
Together
We can stay here, if you want
At least until kindergarten
love to grow
i. Baby Love
When I was a child, I spoke as a child
The most musical language I’ve ever known
L o v e was domestic violence
L o v e was emotional abuse
L o v e was choosing him over me
L o v e was staying because you've already invested in so much time
L o v e was miserable
L o v e was pain
Nobody knows
that I faced a fork in the road.
One was angry, violent, and antisocial.
A klepto that stole pills from sick grandparents
and money from boyfriends who'd worked hard for it.
I was sixteen
And with an open heart
I did dream and fantasied alot
I was loved and knew it
I strolled to adulthood en route
I fell in love and my imaginations widened
I would lay awake all night
Time is ticking away
and in the blink of an eye everything has changed.
Those friends you once knew
each on their own path
so that when you meet it is
"Hey long time no see."
An eleven year old hops the steps
up to the trailer they live in.
The door clangs shut, as the frame is warped.
Poverty-stricken Tennessee, United States.
An eleven year old in jeans and a hoodie
Starry night.
Blue skies
Staring up in wonder.
Dreaming bright
Big eyes.
Staying here forever.
Drinking fight
Goodbyes.
Once upon a time,
in a land far away, kids
slept more than five hours a night. Kids
had more than a cup of coffee for breakfast. Kids
hung out with their friends after school.
Elisi Said
{Elisi- Cherokee for “grandmother”}
Because I love him, I’d have let him slay the wolf…
But I could have just as easily done it myself.
Because I love him, I waited for him in a tower,
The world is spinning way to fast,
I just want to slow it down.
The changes are driving me crazy
And I don't like who I am.
I miss when I was younger,
Can I just be me?
it smells like it's going to rain
the air outside, despite the sun, suggests a downpour
of golden droplets onto my head and hands
healing drops to help me realize
You grow up understanding,
Until the day you don’t.
You grow up knowing,
Until the day you won’t.
They tell you that it’s easy.
My hands already know how to braid my hair
At 15, I cut my hairthe ends tickle my chin.sensational.
At 8, my hair is too short to braid.
I can measure my life in moments:
Before and after and when.
When I realized that my parents weren’t google and God combined,
And, no matter how hard I searched,
I’d never find an adult who could fix anything,
we are children in the dark,
only able to see by the light
of the reflections of our skin in the moonlight.
Spoken Intro:
“All of a sudden, it’s like you’ve become aware of your own existence, how unwhole you are.
And you’re constantly being reborn...
Again...
And again...
And again...
And again.
He’s taken the lead
Left me in the dust I raised
But he’s still looking at me, pulling me through instead
The world he’s lived in, explosions of color and haze,
I was once a spoiled child.
Taking everything for granted, I hardly stopped to notice my way of thinking.
Forever complaining,
Hardly thanking.
I think I learned what awesome is
When I realized my karate teacher
Was barely five feet tall
All of my eleven years stood before her
And I still had to look down
The place where my mom's cold hands touched my forehead
And the place where cool misty breezes kissed my cheeks.
Take me back.
The place where I fell asleep on the carpet
Somehow
Time flew by
And it's only two more months
Before I close this chapter
And begin the next.
An eager goodbye to most
But forced and choked out for some
When I was a kid,
I used to watch horror movies with my dad
I would shake with fear, with my teary eyes hid.
He would tell me:
“You have to distinguish
The reels from reality.”
the beast beneath me
the beast above
the beast within me
the beast unloved
this beast is wild
this beast is free
but love captured it's mind
who would love something so beastly?
i snap and snarl
when thoughts dark and vial
are found inside my head
so with my jaws
and help from the Lord
i shake them out of my head
when the thoughts grow back
But now you look
And you wonder
When it was you grew up
And you think how
Things will never be
As they were
Or as they are
And these last few months
Of one chapter
The sentence of an almost adultFor the crime of surviving this longNot livingEyes closed, shut tightThe only thing that had my name on it before now were
I got some boots
for a Merry Christmas
they are short and green
just what I wanted
The boots, they match my college jacket
I love to match
I will look so cute
walking on campus
I got some boots
for a Merry Christmas
they are short and green
just what I wanted
The boots, they match my college jacket
I love to match
I will look so cute
walking on campus
It was supposed to begin; I was ready
New Freedom, New lover, New me
It was supposed to be fun; I was prepared
New experiences, New achomplishments, New Peers
It was going to be enthralling; I could not wait
365 days ago,I was surely not the same.I've grown up too much. 350 days ago,I couldn't choose between my head and heart,Let alone how to live life fully. 335 days ago,I wasn't passionate about everything I did,Slowly that has changed 320 days ago,
The Broken Hinged Door
By Zoe Pierson
It’s seen the good, the battered,
the blessings, and scorn.
The late nights of sneaking out,
the arrivals of long gone people,
the past, the present,
Friends shape your life
They help you
They laugh with you
They are there for you at your worst
Until they leave.
Being a year younger
Has its ups
And its downs.
The year is 2012 and I am not okay
The cinderblock walls suffocate me
As I listen to everyone around me
They're talking, they're talking
Talk, talk, talk
An endless symphony of gossip and jokes I don't get
You told me to be strong
To make my own decisions
Until my independent choices
No longer fit your selfish vision
But I have seen the truths
Hey, remember the days,
Food displays and September birthdays,
Serving paper noodles and meatball mâchés?
Our creations were unparalleled,
Unmatched, nonpareil.
Oppurtunites taken and left behind
People loved and people lossed
Pain and confusion
The thickening of skin
Acceptence and greater interdependence
A realization of the healing properties of nature
Rowing the little boat over the roaring tides and underneath the thundering clouds, I hold onto the life I had lived before. The load got heavier, the rain fell harder and the waves crashed with more anger. I surveyed the black water, looking for
As your little girl,
You watched me grow.
You saw me smile, cry, fail and succeed.
Over the years you've guided, you've mentored, you've taught
You even had to beg and plead.
Johnny lets play,
Like when you were young.
I don't want to go away,
Come play.
Don't you remember me,
I was your friend since you were three.
I don't want to go away,
Come play.
I started kindergarten with big thoughts and messy pigtails
And I told Lana I liked her skirt and we became best friends
1.1
I posted my first song about you
It used to be celebratory
Now it's inflammatory
It shouldn't be
I saw midnight from the comfort of my sheets
I should have been in your arms
The sun’s last breath
moon’s first memory.
A moment of quiet
steals the eyes of every
child who waits
holding to a stuffed bear
keeping their eyes
open as long as they dare.
I used to think that the everything would be fine if you left it alone.
Nothing bad would happen, everything would fix itself in the end.
Come all who wish to hear
The story of a girl who once lived in fear
A girl who was once afraid to grow up
So, come around and get cozy, you must
For this is a story of a young girl
The last year turned my life aroundInto something new and unexpected. My sixteenth birthday was a turning pointWhen life got quite a bit more serious. Leaving to college in only a couple of years
I’m still standing here
with scars on my cheeks
and red dots on my hands
that scream when I touch
the scabs
they have become -
all too suddenly and all to quietly
I can hear myself
You despise me,
yet I
desire you.
It's comical,
they say,
the way we
banter.
We smiled then.
I don't smile
now.
You left me behind
for bigger things;
Dazzling people made of gold,
Dazzling people made of cold
Material, dazzling people made
Of glitter and stuck together with glue.
Dazzling people made of lipstick
Lipstick, kisses, stains on cheeks
The thing I’m most superficial about
Is my own uniqueness
When I was a little kid
It was important to me
That I’d pick a different color or number
They talk to me.
The decapitated heads are
sprinkled around my feet.
Each with their jaw closed tight,
waiting for the opportunity
to speak.
We run to the
Lies that tell us
Everything’s gonna be alright
If we use them
And that sounds stupid
But us teenagers
I was in the school library at lunchtime
Looking at a book entitled ‘When A Friend Dies’.
I felt guilty, because I wasn’t grieving at all
I just felt really sad.
Cherishing Yesterday by Lindsey Faith Hoyt
Family means we are together,
Even when living far apart.
Memories give us much to hold on to,
And delight us to think of what we’ve shared.
Little birdie,
Fly away from home,
It's not so scary,
Out there on your own.
It's a beautiful world that you ought to see,
Don't be frightened,
Because this nest will always be here,
Beginning my adult life trips me out. I'm goin to college just to scout to preview the unknown that I shall step through each day. I'm not sure if I'm even ready.
We went from walking in diapers to walking with diplomas,We went from kindergarten students who wrote their s's backwards,To writing 5 page papers on the symbolism in "To Kill A Mockingbird"We went from drinking out of sippy cups,To drinking out
Sometimes I feel like dying inside,
other times I feel as if the world is my oyster and I am simply creating a line
in some gigantic storybook where I am a minor character.
Everyday momma would take me to the window
she would sit me on her lap
reach across and open the curtains
Sweetie, What do you see?
I see children laughing momma
She was a small child of seven, loved learning and writting
A smart child for being in second grade
She wrote about Autumn while her parents were fighting
She thought she had it made
It felt like we were stepping out of a coming-of-age fantasy
An assault on my senses, the sensation was too much to bear.
We walked into the cracked pavement that was washed under the sun
When I was younger, life meant forever.
Forever was an orange.
Lingering pith strands
stuck beneath nail beds.
Palms faintly yellowed
from the mist
which clung to clothes like a child.
I'm a west side girl in an east side world Or is it the other way around? 5 years have gone since I lived in the rain 5 years have gone since I was forced to gain The strength to leave behind a life so perfect I still dream of it now I'm fighting
I miss the random trips,
When girls came trashy and liquor came cheap.
When it rained weed and laughter came easy.
When dictionaries lacked words like “free” but had words like “crazy” in plenty.
Dear twelve-year-old me,Wearing an outcast’s scowlAnd bitterly drinking SpriteOn the bleachers at the middle school dance:Picture yourself on the floor.
18
You said we'd both be different when we're 18.
You said you'd see yourself in a band,
Or maybe just going to a nice college.
Then you asked me where I thought I'd be
And I told you I had no clue,
Every man is a poet in his own way.
Poetry is simply the cry of a heart that wishes to be heard,
its the sigh of the painter,
its the sweat on the brow of the athlete.
I am not what I once was
introduce new distractions
increased subtraction
from action,
reaction
becoming bad habits
hapiness and a want for joy
are not worth th feeling of emotions
Six years old and I’m standing at the edge
Of the counter, standing on a chair, my feet
Raised to the tip toes, peering into the bowl
In front of me, the wooden spoon in my hands
True love’s kiss, first experienced through written words.
First of all kinds memorialized in the pages between her fingers.
At home with the ink stained paper.
Preperation
was never enough.
Walls so large
but still I puff
I stay tough
though it can be rough
I may fall
but I stand tall
I will stay diligent
always remaining vigilant
It started with me falling in love
No not like that
I didn’t fall in love with a boy, or girl, a moment in time
But I fell in love with words
At the tender age of three
Growing up,
I learned that if I wanted to be with the angels,
I had to attack the situation from a different angle,
In order to earn my halo,
Which I should never hang low.
Growing up,
Dream.
Your ideas set your boundaries. Make them infinite.
Listen.
Your heart identifies your destiny. Follow no matter what.
Learn.
Mistakes are a part of life. Understand the meaning within.
Grow.
When I was 7 years old
My mind was consumed
With visions of angels
The soft glow of the sun
The splashing of water
In the lonesome hours,Of which three words apply,Just me,Myself,And IMy daily solo ride,Just me in this lonesome world.
When I peer closely, I can see you there
Your tiny head pokes out above the ground
Your fight against the world is newly found,
As men will question, “How much will you bear?”
My transition into adulthood has been accompanied by a series of mistakes. I’ve failed friends in their time of need; felt the regret a little too late. I’ve sacrificed my own self worth in trade for boys handing out limitless heartaches. I’ve ind
I grew up, expected to be an adult I went through rocks and stabs I know we all fought People watched as if I was a cast No one gave me a hand we all grew up we all went through the wet sand growing with all of my lumps and dumps No one can se
I’ve always lived
as though the Lord can give
and can take away.
I try not to cling to things of this world
not a person, place,
or possible possession
is so important that my world would
Everyone wants to be beautiful.
Nobody recognizes true beauty until it's gone.
It's just like the old saying,
"you don't realize what you've got until it's gone".
It's the same for beauty.
I once stood for choices that colored me rad
But I learned the hard way an adrenaline high is only a fad
When you can live your life with millions of choices: a la carte
As the days go by, this arduous feeling grows.
As I lay there, I can picture your faces in the patches of the sky.
Dark and grey, I begin to feel your tears run down my face,
It was time for me to let go.
I'm not great at school-
Never have been
So when it came time to look at colleges we were never sure I'd make it in
And that was always okay with me
I already hated school even before I had to pay for it
It always begins the same. You slide behind a cold cold wheel. The solid black night stretches on forever. You slip trance like as the lights fly by. Each one a life with choices and consequences.
It's the first day of school,
And momma's afrad.
Afraid about me making friends,
And my toddler years coming to an end.
Now it's time for fifth grade,
And my friends don't wanna play.
I get lost in a wonderland of hidden desires and nightmares. I don't want to be like Alice, I don't want to wake up.
Reality is what I hide from. In the world of struggling and failing, I can't seem to get the rules of the game.
I'm sleepy
I wish someone would carry me to bed
I remember falling asleep In the car
and waking with a pillow beneath my head
when the world tasted like chocolate milk
now it tastes like bile instead
I figured out why I feel I don't have real friends
So no matter who I'm with I feel lonely in the end
It's because I don't live with love in my heart
The distance between I and my true feelings keeps me apart
Listen, I’m tired of pretending
I’m tired of pretending that just because I’m young, I don’t know anything
I’ve been through stuff that would blow your mind
In 5th grade, I remember it
I sit on the eve of adulthood
Having seen and done things
That would have made 5 year old me
Thoroughly uninterested.
I have witnessed the beauty of loss
The same sterility and cruel coldness
McDonald's
Always open
Always serving
Always there
Just existing
McDonald's is the kid who never left home
Grew up here
Made a name for itself
And never found a reason to leave
"He prayed
She layed,
There awake too tired to sleep
He forgave
She hates
Too hurt,but too scared to leave
Tears cried
Head shakes
I am yours my heart to keep
Can't tell
Our sweet generation lost in space
Fuck you to the moon
Pissing out of widows and raping the world in a single glance
Can you imagine all puckered lips and spit flying
As I stand in front
of you almost 18.
I wonder what
my life would be like.
Maybe you would've
been their for every
daddy- daughter dance
that I had to
miss because
Senior Year
17 and 18 year old punk kids
Who used to be prodigies, geniuses, beyond their years
We were told we were so smart
Childhood is the playpen that keeps out the real world;
holding you close till you're readily unfurled
At the beginning it's the ignorance that keeps us at ease
What is it like to kiss?A moment of pure bliss,Of joy and ecstasyThat turns realityInto scattering starsAs you fall in his arms.
I grew up thinking
this is how I have to be
look like everyone else
act the same way
we're in the middle of nowhere
I could never understand
how someone could settle here
Adulthood snuck up on me, deceived me
Oh, she’s a sly one
She flirted with me for a time, dangling her alluring maturity and ravishing freedom before my eyes
I grew up with Seuss and SilversteinRoahl Dahl and Robert FrostI live with MayaAnd I run with NikkiSandburg he's always whisperingHemingway holds my handAnd Shakespeare keeps on reaching
Maybe it was just this year I suddenly became old.
Old hit me with crying over Facebook videos in the middle of the night.
After the NAMI meeting organized by my family,
AKA the GSA club,
We,
My friends,
Stood in a circle behind the refreshment table—
The most stupid thing ive ever seen People acting rude and mean Looking for happiness in other people's sorrow I hope that this will change tomorrow
I am…
A first born
A big sister
Persuasive
Independent
Manipulative
Better than most, but definitely not the best
A first generation college student
A flamingo in a flock of pigeons.
Unsure
The things I wanted were not truly me;
Looks, attention, and popularity.
I now see the beauty inside of me;
Intelligence and creativity.
When asked what I remember about my childhood, I will answer “smoke;”
There’s a lingering, hovering cloud in all my most recallable memories.
Girl(n): a young or relatively young woman
I am young,
comparatively
My eyes are not yet wrinkled at the edges
My bones are not yet weary
I am impulsive.
I do whatever seems like fun at the time.
I am reckless.
I do what I want without regards to the consequences.
I am childish (sometimes).
But aren't we all?
Tucked away, hidden.
Secluded in the darkness.
Wearing the silence like the skin that covers my body.
Hardened like an icy glacier.
I was the night.
I was broken.
I guess this is growing up,
Taking hard courses and making life choices.
I guess that is growing up.
Learning how to be responsible and eating all the right foods.
I guess this is growing up.
I started as a thought
A wish of what could be
And to become what I am now
I chose to live for me
I’m an X straight across
A bouncing baby girl
With lofty hopes and dreams
I am
a dreamer.
My mind is a playing field
My goals are the starters,
As my oppositions take the bench.
But sometimes they get up
No longer rooted
They get a chance to take part in something
At age 6 the world is full of adventure and
fun and you can make friends just because
you have a Barbie Jeep and Daddy's
always proud of you and one day you're going to be the
first person on Mars
an icy fine powderthat made you lamentthe days spent twistedwarpedunder the false ideologythat manliness is to beconfided in yourdead father.
I hide from the world,
Something not uncommon to see.
But when you peel back the layers,
You find what is really me.
I am fire, I am light.
I have flame inside my soul.
I am...
The girl who saw the truth too early,
when I should not have glimpsed.
Like the tempted Eve I cast aside my Eden,
and have been expelled from the garden of roses.
i'm nothing.
i'm nothing but
petrified wood
nothing more
than a hardened rock
sitting in a grove of
others just like me
pointless and worthless.
so i carve out arms
hips
The city of Los Angeles
It draws you in with a hope for glory,
A chance to truly improve your story,
Yet as you walk the city streets
You hear the sound of a thousand feet
Telling you, "It's not your day.
She is a quiet, smart
Sweet little girl who loves to learn
Teachers praise her up and down
Parents envy how well behaved she is
Their children, her classmates, though don't understand it yet
For who I was,
I was not loved.
For who I was,
I was hated.
I was picked on,
because I was me.
I would cry
due to the sorrow.
No one cared
for my fare.
And I'm a writer
build most of my pieces off of experience or imaginary life...
what I wish or what
has no chances..
my leap of faith
in every step I take
is where my motivation
strives from
I pieced all the evidence together and found
that I, most likely, came from a ripped up piece of latex,
one snowy summer night in a cabin down in New Mexico.
Yet, though I came from broken things and with unexpected news,
round, starry, sponge eyes,
burst under spiderweb lashes.
dark scrapes on the knee
make war paint from life's crashes.
full, furry eyebrows,
tattooed with a crayola green,
at age 13:
girls were Sluts; Bitches, Whores, or Prudes,
and we thought that the length of jean aeropostle shorts
were fuses that would lead to some dangerous explosion of promiscuity because:
Hey, best friend, it's time to wake,
for we have a big, fun day.
We'll have a breakfast too big for two,
and recall memories about me and you.
We'll brush our teeth, minty fresh,
I liked learning.
I didn't care if it were Math or Science.
I didn't care whether it was all about Entrepreneurship.
All I wanted to do was put all these informations in my head for future use.
getting tucked into bed
kisses goodnight
telling stories
turning on nightlights
being told "i love you"
before they close the door
care with the flu
a broken house
runaway dad
When I was younger
I could not see
But I let myself feel monsters under the bed
Now I am grown,
Powerful.
I am not
Afraid
I am
Not day dreaming
Since I am
Older now
Why do we raise them so hard?
Build walls of granite, stone
armor so thick we can no longer
see the beauty of their dark skin tone.
The struggle is real and very alive.
Those who said that teenage years would be memorable didnt think for those who cant even be happy anymore.
They didnt think about the new generation .
When my mother first gave me black eyeliner
It had glitter encased within
don't make yourself look like a whore
I was told with all the sincerity one could muster on Christmas morn
Throw away those super hero t-shirts and draws,
Take a look at these women in their bras.
Trade in those sketchers,
And let's get you some J's,
Cut that ponytail off
And get a fade.
When we were five, every day
was like a new present.
We were literally like kids on Christmas,
but every day was a holiday.
We get to see Grandma today.
We get to play with our new friend.
To the worrisome little girl I was:
Things will fall into place.It’ll take time.Tears will be cried.But things will fit together again,Even if they’re all broken now.
Searching I found it
The thing I seek
Good times, or bad times
I will never share it
While the drum is beating,
I’ve still got air.
There a bullet in my heart
Will you smile for me
little one?
Will you twirl around
in that tutu
I bought off Etsy?
Will you sing your lullaby
to me
so loud it wakes the cat
from her nap?
Remember when we used to go to the playground and swing for hours never stopping,
going higher and higher till we almost flew over the rails?
In the passing heat of the ephemeral spring
Beneath the sound of interstate
Atop decrepit track of neglected railroad
Surrounded by walls of painted wisdom
Of littered art
Of withered graffiti
A world so empty
A tree
all alone
grown by a young boy.
Who planted it
It took me a week but I finally managed to stand up
I thought I might die it got me so dizzy
For I was sitting in the scraps of a book written by a blind man
Level One:
"Press Play!"
I become familiar with the basic rules of the game (collect fruit, jump over obstacles, and reload just to name a few).
I was born with the sun in my teeth and hair
with mercury pouring out of my fingers and toes
Unburdened with the notion of needing to be anything
at recess I practiced the sprinkler
so I could be everywhere at once
I don't want you so involved in my life
What choices I make are my own right
You can get mad and angry
But its your reputation on the line, not mine.
Watch over me whether I want you to our not,
It's YOU!
It's always been YOU!
The one I run to when my life is a mess
The one that with a single smile kills all of my stree
Your the curve in my smile, the glow in my skin
When you've fallen
your arms detach from your body
the only thing that isn't numb is your sore heart
wet fingers caress your cheeks
and soak in your hair
nothing else matters
and everythings distant
One is already almost four,
Counting and spelling all on her own.
She likes trucks and dress-up,
Her favorite animal’s a cow.
Her tough personality is starting to show.
The other is almost two,
She was a beautiful gleam of light –that
last bit of gleaming sunset that strikes
through the sky like the chiming ring of
a spoon on fine crystal. She was a lone
dandelion seed floating on the breeze,
I once wanted to be a princess. A Disney one to be exact.
I once wanted to rule the world. How ambitious was that.
As a young child, anything was possible. I would bet my front tooth.
When I was a child I heard a voice
It was soft and low, maybe an evil tone
At the time, how was I supposed to know?
When I was a child I played with shadows
Don’t laugh – you might wake her up.
Keep it together, don’t tell her what’s the matter.
I hope you enjoy shouldering troubles alone
i walk onto the stage
i smile and i wave at the gathered people
my mom is in the front row, right in the center
my siblings sit beside her
my teachers from grade school
my professors from college
A fragile paper veil pulled over my eyes
A thin protection from the world I’ve grown to despise
How could I know any better when you taught me how
To hate.
The atmosphere is painted black
I say fuck the people that so called “raised-me”
Really the don’t give a fuck about me lately
Should I talk it out with them? I don’t know, Maybe
But in this stage it seems impossible
As a young boy he was afraid of the world. Scared to try, to spread his wings and fly. Though he had friends and a good family, he was shy though not knowing why.
we met through chance
what were the odds that, of all the people, we fell into each other's arms giggling?
online,
You are the only person who matters to meYou are the only person who matters to meAnd it may come off that I am dumb, obsessed and all the restBut you made me view myself like I've never seenShe'd be
She was the glass she held in her hand.
Smooth and strong,
calm and contained like the like the liquid in the glass.
Then, life caught her off guard and she let the glass slip.
I am from watching and learning
and watching my brothers grow up
while I was in diapers.
I am from rough and tumble
From dead end baseball
the land of skinned knees
and having adventures.
all i ever am
is sorry.
the words float around my skull day and night,
"I'm sorry."
sorry when the back seats are squished
because I'm taking up room
sorry when I'm talking too loud,
too much
How many fake smiles
Have you put on before?
When inside your beating heart
Is broken and torn.
How many tears
Has your pillow held at night?
When you lay there, broken,
And sadness can change you.
It’s changing me
in the same way that the ocean changes the shore and
the way that the kiss of rain
changes the life of a dying crop and
the way that the river erodes the bank.
This is an ode for the lonely one
the precious princess in her castle
with stuffed animal servants
and an imaginary knights
This is an ode for the quiet one
the bookish girl with sand in her shoes
Woke Up with my legs open
and my mind crossed.
"Boys sure do like me"
"boys like me"
"like me"
"me"
Boys like to suck me dry.
my being, my spirit, my soul;
All children grow up
All but one
A boy who never grows up
best friends with a fairy
a tinkering fairy
Tinkerbell
Oh how overly jealous she can be
her bells a ringing a tune
I get used to the feelingBut some people don'tThey get what they want so easilyAnd experience no bumpsI knew I wouldn't get itI still know why I tried
Have you ever looked around
and realized how far down hill we've gone?
Have you realized how
all or nothing
life or death
my life has become?
I have one chance to make it.
I told him to move on
Don't wait for me,
I don't want you to,
He said I'll wait for you forever,
I can't ask you to do that,
Be happy, live your life,
Friends, there for you through good times and bad
Sometimes they are the family you ever had.
Friends come and go like the wind,
Some help you in the midst of your sin.
I'm not Harvard materialI'm not a straight A studentI'm not a person with a name up on a wallI'm just a kid who has been trying to figure out what it all meant
As I come into the age of majority
The world becomes both lucid and murky
In the recesses of my mind.
I am faced with a crippling melancholy
that no amount of serotonin could
Ever counteract.
I was lost. I was so lost. I was lost in the dark and very far away from home. But I was lost with you. You and your lips and your blonde and your red and your heelies and your tattoos and your music and your books. We were so lost.
I’m the golden girl. I’m intelligent and driven. I’m ambitious but principled. I make straight A’s. I have a 4.0, which seems to be the ticket to everything in the college world. Adults love me because I’m different.
Twinkle, Twinkle, little star
Can you see me from a far.
You stay so high up in the sky.
A little glimmer in everyone's eye.
I remember when I was small.
Running between the apartments so tall.
We all push so hard to grow up.
We wear our mom's heals and try to watch pg-13 movies.
We go to parties past our curfew and try a cigarette or two.
We leave our house and get a job, and for WHAT?
Once, on a yellow piece of paper with green lines,
he wrote a poem,
And he called it "Chops"
Because that was the name of his dog,
And that's what it was all about.
His teacher gave him an A
When I was younger, I used to check the locks on the doors 1,001 times
and peek out the window to make sure no one was standing outside with an ax.
We're asked from an early age
What do you want to be when you grow up
It's a question designed
To make us look forward to the future
But no matter what I do
You keep the past in your back pocket
Just close enough, where you might catch it
You scrape your knee on the pavement
You look down and you hate it
But I think that the blood might just sober you up
Behavior is a result of environment and time.
I was not born apologizing every time I spoke up.
I was a little girl who ran into life like there was no time to worry,
What do I think when I hear someone my age say "I wish I was born in another time." ?
I think how sad. In my opinion I would rather be in the 2000's than the 50's, 60's or 70's
Here is why.
We grow up inspiring to be out of the ordinary, to aspire to be greater than others, but i notice some people stand alone and some ban together.
Whats so good about growing up?
Being a kid,to be young to me, is to be happy
It's inevitable, growing up physically is a must,
Let's just take a step back.
Back to times where
staying up late was a crime,
recess was our favorite time,
worrying wasn't on our mind,
being mean wasn't like our kind,
It's weird how when you're younger, you think you have it all figured out. Life.
But the older you get the more you realize things probably won't go as mentally planned as you thought when you were a 13 year old.
I have walked 17 miles as of now
Pretty soon I will reach 18 miles
Along my walk, I have met lots of people
Learned valuable knowledge
Seen many wonders
Where I walked was guided by my elders
Childhood
Be good
Take your nap
Eat your greens
Too many sweets
Makes you sick
Running wild
Making up games
We live without shame
Playing princess
And Power Ranger
I want a life that’s happy,
But not one that is sappy.
I strive to be optimistic,
And definitely not pessimistic.
I for sure want to be fit,
So I don’t look like sh**
Life should be fun,
A fresh youth
Adventuring through wilderness
Saving the princess
A triumphant warrior
Acne sets in
With other changes
Rapid fire rockets
And head shots
"Get a job"
So Suddenly Mama said
"Get a job, apply for college, be a grown woman"
And I was but a child, still curly-haired and bright -eyed , not yet poisoned by the world.
Always said I'd be a writer, moved out, and traveling
Assuming our full understanding
is complete with moronic fallacies
With Wars fought and won on their hands,
a continued sense of superiority,
With pen and parchment,
Iwalk in No Mans Land,
I’m scared I am not growing up to be the person
I think I am growing up to be,
Or even want to grow up to be.
I’m scared of feeling like I’m living solely to
Please others,
My dream is to be a animator
Not just any digital design animator
No, That is to wide of a goal
I am for smaller more difficult
Disney animator
That is what I want to be
What do you want to be when you grow up?
The dreaded question gets asked over and over again
As Kindergarteners we are forced to define
What we don’t actually realize we want
As a baby, I laid and cried in my crib
Observing the sunlight peering through my window
I sigh at our generation,
They lose sight at their whole person,
They look to stars and useless charts,
When I was younger
I thought being an adult gave you
Some universal power
Some universal knowledge
Some sense of maturity.
When I was younger
I looked at those around me
In this life,
We are still JUST children,
Whose voices would never be heard above the cloud because the world doubts itself
It dwells on the past so can’t even dream of a better future
What was it like to be 17?
It was never feeling good enough.
It was laughing for hours until my sides hurt
It was being terrified about my future
The life that I lead
Creeps on a crutch:
The tight but tender
Hand of Mom's Love
Protecting me endlessly
Here in her nest
The Hand handles my head
Since Mother knows best
Permanant marker X's
All across her mirror
She stands in the same spot
And looks at every error
Like a wrong answer
Like a failed assignment
But at least she won't have to look
I recall elementary
In which we would play in dirt
I recall you as the girl I hardly talked to
The one that I knew but didn't know
I recall middle school
You open your eyes and the world around you seems so beautiful
A blue sky with white clouds above during the day
A dark purple sky with glittering stars at night
There is a force within you that you do not comprehend
A little doll once walked through the sea shore
From a long and sandy passage, it changed to a rocky highway
It was a tedious process as she got hurt so many times
Different creatures guided her through the forest
I Remember
I remember the cold, so harsh it hurt to breathe
I remember the fear, eating away at a little girl
I remember a father teaching his daughter to fight with a blade
Growing Up.
It’s your first day of Pre K.
Your mom picks out your outfit and walks you to the bus
You meet your next door neighbor
Not too long ago
I knew a pretty young thing
who laughed right, who talked right
Never left the dinner table unsaid.
My mama used to tell me:
she looks a little bit too much like you,
My first day of elementary school
My mom woke me up and made me breakfast
With a lunch box in my hand I walked to school
With my white sketchers that had double knots
So I wouldn’t trip over myself
I was a child (more than I am now) when my grandmother shared with me the world.
She’d get mail, like all adults tend to, and leave the blank envelopes for weekends.
Potential.
A simple word that overwhelmingly carries the weight of Life.
A simple word that was repeated in my head, yet I did not understand what it meant.
I did not see what it meant.
I am from a town called Houston, TexasI can't even remember at all.In which it is said to be hot enough to be able to cook an egg on the side walk.
What is this place?
This is a home in Gloucester,
A town way out of the way
What is this place?
This is a school
The people here are strange
I need a brand new place.
Moving on,
The know nothing, yet they know everythingLike a bird, Im trapped beneath a sheltered wingThey always ask where and how Ive beenAnd want to talk every now and then
There's that point in everyone's life
Where it all comes to a head
In everyone's head
We think, "What do I do?
Where do I go?
How do I get there? When is my time?
Wished my life away,
Now I’m trying to live back my days,
I use to wish I was taller,
Now I get that I should have shut my mouth.
I wanted to be smarter,
But sometimes you need a little doubt.
I. You write him a postcard. "I don't know how to tell you but I'm finally letting go," it says. The postcard is from Paris and when you finish writing it, you slide it back into the drawer with all the other words you never said.
When I was a small child I would dream
I would dream reams ha woul ake me far off,
the dreams made me an astronaut on a space ship
the galaxies were mine to control, i wold surf the skies
As I look back on those days when I was young
When the sky was blue and the grass was green
I remember playing with boys and girls my age
And cutting out things from construction paper.
frostbitten cheeks and a red nose,
adorning each child's gleaming face
the first snow fall of winter
Growing up ain't as fun as you think
No one can prepare you for the
Zits, quips, stink of uncertainty
The fog that overtakes, blinds, defines you
Picks you up and clouds your judgment,
I remeber when I was about 6 years old. I hit my forehead at the edge of a glass table it started bleeding and it left a scar. I remember my little sister crying and me telling her it will be okay.
Times were hard from the day of my birth.
I have a father who didn’t know my worth.
While I was being born he stole from my mother. Was high as a kite chilling with his brother.
Freshmen year, and already feeling like a fish out of water,
Not sure if the teachers cared, nor did it matter, because i didnt care.
Sitting and listening, counting seconds into minutes, minutes into hours,
It's Christmas time
The calender says December
The people rush to shop
There are many light to be seen
It's Christmas time
but is it?
It's Christmas time
Second Star to the right
Past Big Ben
Where you must go
Is what I'm told
It's what I've heard
but where to
is my concern
My last thought
b- before I fell
Wishing
Trauma: The Most Powerful Lecture By: Matthew Luz
Your expectations are too high for me
I'm not yet ready to climb such a height
Images of things I could never be
I know I might choose wrong, instead of right
Be mad, just don't have that look in your eye
I know I'm your only child
And just cause I'm a girl doesn't mean I'm going to run wild
My head is on straight
You just have to let me concentrate
I know the world is a big place
We orchestrated what we could,
Because we seem to be less fluid,
And less malleable
Than we would have wished.
Most of the surface, and the pretext, and the confines,
The change of seasons is sounded with a light breeze
Autumn arrives with the sound of crunching leaves,
The start of a great harvest for a new beginning
A rush and it's over
Cars flash by, lights blink shut
Candles flicker, sound crashes along
And my head whirls with
The Speed of Light
A world that never stops moving
Never sits and thinks
I do everyone else jobs without complaining
I do all these things for you, for what, tell me what am I gaining
I fail to realize that I have a voice that should be heard
The sun has peaked and at its highest
Here still I am without a clue to life even in the slightest
This window, fogged, scratched, and tattered
Tinted black, without a chance to flee from its fetters
My brother is a cheerful ray of sunshine on a sad, sad cloudy day.
Bubbling and overflowing with joy.
His big and shining smile is like a sweet M&M,
That lightens up the eye and heart.
This is my fight
My reason to write
Music is my voice
and the world is my audience
I'll speak my wisdom
through a riff and a song
and when the world turns their ears
I'll show them the wrong.
Close your eyes.
Take a deep breath.
I take that back...
Hold your breath.
Hold it in, Hold it back.
Its not worth it.
not worth it....
You're not allowed to be a kid anymore; no more fooling around, be serious;
every move you make from here on out will affect the rest of your life;
Life is beautiful. Isn’t it?
Not when your dad is a drinker.
That just makes it total shit!
I am glad my mom was a thinker.
She left real quick,
And met a much better man.
Daddy you made me sick.
Stop and Stare,
look around at all the trouble,
As we try and walk around as if we aren’t going through a struggle.
I try and make sure my school’s environment isn’t what other schools go through,
“This is just a portion of who I am.
I don’t think anyone can be explained on paper.
A person can be explained only by experience.
So maybe you knew me all along.
She looked into the mirror and watched herself cry
Examined her scars, and let out a sigh
She wiped her own tears; lifted her own spirit
She's screaming inside, where no one can hear it.
She looked into the mirror and watched herself cry
Examined her scars, and let out a sigh
She wiped her own tears; lifted her own spirit
She's screaming inside, where no one can hear it.
Little brother, little brother,
where have the years gone?
Last I remember, you were just turning 7.
Still held a sparkle in your eye.
Not anymore.
All of my memories from before I got my glasses areblurryLike when you imagine a story told from someone else'spoint of viewOr trying to remember a dream you hadyears ago
It's already 12 o'clock in the morning and I still have that essay to write.
Do I finish graphing linear equations or study atomic structure?
"Why didn't you do your homework?" you ask.
Black and white pictures tell a storyWell , lemme give you a little history on why i give my God the most high , glory ONE I've been through it all , made a couple mistakesNearly gave up because i was unsure of the later decisions i would makeSca
Children’s laughter rings out
like a symphony of bells.
Halloween candy saved
for when friends change plans.
Hugs never failed to
make everything okay again.
The years grow old and grey
When teachers stopped sleeping on the tables,
Eating dinner in the cafeteria,
Brushing their teeth in the bathroom,
Growing up isomething no one wants to do. Its like there is a finish line that you have to reach and across that finish line there is a new life. A life full of responsiblities and worries.
We are always learning, improving, developing
Evolving into something greater than we were
Becoming something better than the world has ever seen
Education is the means by which this takes place
Stuck in this room like it's a jail.Trapped like prisoners
My hands are tied grasping the rail.
We aren't petitioners.
"Sometimes I always ask myself why.Was it after all worth it?
Your hearts entwined,
Your lives combined,
You live for each other.
From each pair of eyes,
I see the look of intense delight.
On the surface, and underneath,
You're the perfect couple,
Eighteen is seven months away,
Each day I’m learning a little more about what adult means.
It’s the time in our lives when diapers and pull ups are exchanged for boxers and thongs.
Our sippy cups for have changed into
Time is relentless.
What used to feel infinite is now depleting,
There’s no room for a father’s affection or a mother’s caress.
Instead I’m left walking through busy streets alone,
Young with conditions.
Hands all over
anchoring our dreams.
Up all night,
laughing with magnetic hope.
Gymnastics is coaches
That are strict and precise.
Gymnastics is warm ups
That make you drip with sweat.
Gymnastics is ropes
The glassy smooth water of early morning was gradually changing.The lake was waking up and so was I.The waves, now creeping up the beach, marked the start of another day of hard work.The small house was a fixer-upper located right on the shore of
The “big kids” walk into the room
I am a small nervous second grader
and my new reading buddy is from a fifth grade class
I am a pea and they are all bean stocks
The sun rises rises in my soul. The rays dance and explodelike lyrics hitting the ear. I am the song. Illusionsshatter like glass. I morph into a dazzling tapestry of shadow and light. Thesetting sun no longer reminds me of death.
I was an ass.
I was shy but an ass.
When I worked up the courage to talk,
all this gross undeserved arrogance would spill out like:
"I'm probably smarter than you."
I am just an average girl who tries to do her best.
I wonder If I can climb a mountain without rest.
I see light and darkness while reaching the mountain's apex.
I want to climb and climb, but it seems to have no end.
It began when a little girl raided through her mother’s old clothing on a rainy, summer afternoon. Boxes and bins began to empty as she set aside only the best and most hopeful of the pieces.
1,600 hours spent as a freshmen.I don't have much to say to you, time and time again.I'd like to ask a question, maybe, every now and then.But I'm a little nervous... I mean, I am just a freshmen.
Yes! Yes! He accept my friend request
I could remember the joy that filled my soul
It was so much it leak like snat coming through my nose
my heart was like the prime minister on Election Day
I am not a girl
Who loses her head over-
Some boy-
who smiles at her-
just
so.
You caught me by suprise
An emotional accident, anomaly
Time spinning down
Lost in the middle round
The tears puddle for a pound
And they taste like salted sand
The loss feels like we’ve won
When the speeches are all done
In the dawn, when the sky blooms rosy pink,
And ignites with gold,
I would dance in wild dales,
And cavort through cloud-caked skies.
My feet would lick up fairy tears,
Suspended on trunks of grass,
I wish I could be a child forever,
clinging to my mother after a bad fall on the asphalt
pained but safe in the knowledge that she is there;
It will be all right.
But days go and the nights fly away,
You are so new to the world, so free and innocent.
You don't care about the time, or the place, or the means.
All that matters to you,
is the feeling of the sun on your velvet soft skin,
He left me half dead you know?
He left me a drained girl who had drank from his love for well over a year.
He left me hungry for love and affection for comfort and heat.
A young girl steps down—
vanity becomes so small
inside of herself.
A woman steps out
of the shallow pool of pride
and lets herself love.
Despite injustice
I long for a chance to know you again,
the way I used to..
To know the dark echoes of your heart,
and the pools of light that filled your eyes.
I wish I could drown in your self loathing
I am an adult in a child's body,Borrowing Mommy's risque red lipstick,Wearing her sky high black heels, andStrutting around with her cell phone in my hand.
She spoke what she thought,
she thought things through.
To one bad thing she would never do.
Never spoke a lie,
she was always so sure.
Then three kids walked by.
She looked at them with envy,
Ya see black brothas
always tryin to be trap brothas/or rap brothas
Why don’t you wrap brotha
Bussin out babies like morning sickness
This continuous cycle is more than a sickness
When I was born, I stood on the shotgun seat.
Danger was a challenge best met naïve.
My dad told me, “Sit down or you’ll get hurt.”
All year long
I don't even know when I 'm strong
Why do I have to wait
You're the right fate
Shadows you can see through
Sunlight clouds
Darkness falls
Fall leaves
Spring flowers
My childhood is nearly gone.
I'm a senior in high school and soon will be moving on.
I remember baking cookies in my Nana's house
and shrieking when I saw my first mouse.
I remember holding baby snakes
I drift
I never touch the surface
I never touch the sky
I am in between heaven and hell
Glory and guts
Existence and death.
Where I am
Shifts suddenly
I am on top
Throughout ancient time
human kind
has been confine
to the design
of someone else's mind
but im finally here
establishing my identity
my humanity
I am he
I am I
I am me
The smell of orange popsicles drip summer afternoons
Daisies climb to the edge of scraped knees
Kiss me gently, and beg to be tucked behind my ear,
I’ll take you with me
Once just a boy
Wretched beast against the foul Earth
Entered a coffee shop, when I was but a cloud of a man
No thoughts, hush hush, chop chop, then
Pencil and paper, whispered to each other
What is time anyway?
I remember being at this very place
2 other times; the small fountain
Near the trolley station.
It’s a public place, it doesn’t
Hold a particular significance to me.
Screams and swears
Errupt from downstairs.
Two tiny brown heads have heard;
They hang on every word.
The shatter of glass,
The slam of a door.
He hits his gas
As the wind whips within my face. The cold sharp agonizing pain brings memories of disgrace.
On her birthday a small girl gets
A tiny blank book with flowered cover
And starts to write lyrics to her regrets.
A medium girl rediscovers
A composition book with slight blue lines
I always knew at last this time would come
When lost is that from which my love derives.
No longer shall I hear the horn and drum
Which waving hand to quickest tempo drives.
Birthed by summer water pumping from fire hydrants - as we drown each other in laughter but that was before firefighters burnt down our banter with their wrench.
Come in this life fresh and new,
Once that legal age,
You’ll never look back.
Feel the same,
Think the same,
Don’t look any different.
You know it,
Everyone knows it.
Even flowers that give the sweetest scent
Must one day wither away.
But will you remember how strong they stood
Before their ultimate decay?
The future seems full of many days
To fall and crash, to climb back up
Is what my sister did.
All throughout her high school years,
She was a faulty kid.
To sneak and lie and just mess up
Was her kind of thing.
I watch her closely--
As her smile broadens,
Her dark curls caress her blushing cheeks
And her eyes carefully roam beds of flowers.
She reaches down,
Plucks a handful of daisies,
Looking back at photos of when I was a little girl,
I am filled with relief that I was unaware of the pain that fills this world.
But I have my people, and I am blessed,
What the fuck have I become?
Do you see the world that surrounds us?
Do you see the hate in all their eyes?
And when you look back,
Do you see that same hate in yours?
Our children are dying!
In the beginning life was simple.
Those golden years before dating and pimples
Hot, Lumpy Oatmeal for breakfast
Tainted souls ate first and innocents tasted last
I think I forget.
I'm sorry, have we met?
It's been a time, you see
My double visions gone to three.
I have yet to open eyes,
sifting truth from the lies
if you give me some more time
It started with a story
A simple story.
Not much more than a few simple lines
I waited, analyzed, configured, changed.
Novel became poem
Emphasizing with words and lines and rhythm
I'd like to be an artist. Paint and sing and dance and show my love through colors;
emotion.
I actually dreamed of writing history.
Telling the world of when and how and then;
I was just a kid you know back in middle schoolNever thought poetry or any of that shit would end up being what I doBut it isNow I’m stuck refreshing Rhymezone.com and trying to figure out
I look into your eyes,
and I feel adoration so strong.
And as I watch you sleep so soundly,
I begin to get sad.
I know that one day you might be unfairly judged
and your heart might get broken.
Plan the necessary steps to get closer to your goal. Emerge from a bad experience only looking at the situation as a lesson instead of a mistake.
Do you remember when-
finding a penny made you rich?
you just had to know how to count to 100?
you actually got toys on Christmas?
your parents picked what you wore?
Remember when the only thing that scared us was the shadow in our room.
We would be scared to look under the bed. And the closet was our only enemy.
Life seemed simpler when we were young.
I close my eyes and breathe
as I try to remember
my likes, my loves,
my dislikes, my hates,
my hobbies, my work,
my friends, my enemies.
I have to remember
my character, my lines,
Sitting at home on a hot summer's day,
A pen in my hand,
What in my poem could I possibly say?
There on the balcony the blue jay sits,
His feathers shining beneath Nature's light,
And it’s time for a change, for me to start anew
Time to stop living without really thinking about what
In the night, I heard a songbird sing.
It was such a sight to see the most beautiful thing.
Every night, he would flap his wings and then, start singing.
Chaos reaking havoc in my brain
up is down and all confusion
feelings that i cant explain
Poetry is my escape my treasure
words exploding tumbling out
turning chaos into second nature
Whispers in my head
The stranger voice that pulled my ebb, my flow
I look around me
These whispers became visible, ribbons of mist
Influences pulling, gnawing
Clock shattered
melting away
breaking itself
does not wish to be mended
Time itself is not in our grasp
and so it is not ours to keep
because once it's gone
it's gone forever
I let you go a little more each dayI guess it's better that way.Losing you all at once bewilders my soulRipping away a part from a whole.Hey, best friendThought I knew you so well
Kids in love pluck flowers
Kids in doubt pluck their petals
He loves me, he loves me not
A 50% chance of finding love
But all you have to do is find a flower
With an odd amount of petals
Today is a day
That I will dream
I will dream of undreamable things
I will make up words
I will make up songs
Even if the world doesn't want to sing along
(poems go here) Life’s bumpy roads and harsh realities
Are what brought me to the refuge of poetry.
A world where you have little money,
Where the lady on the news talks about a new murder every night
A little marble
Found by a young boy on the stairs
Interest is found for a little while
Then, not lost,
The interest diffuses
But the boy still keeps it
On his desk
Clock
As the tail drops,
I listen quietly yet sadly.
How well it flows.
What makes the time go?
The sound of footsteps
tells me people are coming.
What does time hint?
What is it that comes?
In this life we are all led by love; love from your parents and from their parents above. In this life we are all given some type of chance to revel in pomp or overcome circumstance. But in this life I do declare, many things are simply unfair.
My first day of School!
I write because Mommy said so.
My teacher is beautiful; I really hope she likes me.
I write because my cursive needs practice.
I need an A in English for my allowance.
If Peter Pans poison never set into my heart and head,
If my parents only understood
If Never Neverland wasn't so far away- I’d disappear today
I’d never look back
(poems go here)
The guillotine was honest,
as it cut off your bloody head.
it didn't whisper "I love you,"
and then mess with your mind instead.
I feel so sick
My insides are crying
My brain hurts, I'm dying
I'm trying
No progress, and no success
Wheres the time and effort, I've lost my best
I'm gained more stress
Got too much things on chest
Life is coming at you quick
There is no place to turn
College is upon you
Adult hood is upon you
Life - is upon you
Those days are gone
The days of sitting down at tables
French-fries in hand
Fall to the floor on my knees metaphorically
I might disrespect someone
But
I ask this rhetorically:
What can you do
when you realize you need help
because you’re too weak to do anything yourself?
I was invited to an ideal girls' night out
An idea suggested to me by the girl with flirtatious eyebrows but her pure spirit told me to bring a friend
(poems go here) what i missed the most
was having you there with me.
since you are on the other coast
there was no way you could be.
even though we couldn’t be together
and really help each other
She's stuck.
Stuck right in the middle of the bridge,
No longer a child,
Playing with dolls and living carefree,
Not having to think for herself because she's just told what to do,
She takes a few steps forward.
The inseparable bond just disappeared into thin air,
As if it never existed to begin with.
But wait, flashback: weekend after weekend , we'd ride the metro to D.C. or go see a movie. We'd talk, we'd laugh, we'd have a good time.
It used to be
lying across the backseat, eyes tight,
feeling the turn onto your street and up the driveway,
hearing the hum of the garage and the whispering;
pretending to sleep
Ever since I was a little girl
My daddy was always on the go,
But he never forgot his baby cowgirl
And he’d always sing to me a favorite solo.
I.
Her face has traces
Of dots she can’t erase,
Her image dissatisfies her
So much that she
Smirks at her own
Reflection.
II.
They've been asking me my whole life what I want to be when I grow up
After 20 years, I still have no clue,
But I know what I want to be like, and who,
College is coming oh me oh my
I have no idea what I'll do tonight
Applications, Dead Lines and Work
When in doubt I should just twerk
No that won't help me get in college
Maybe I should just quote hamlet
This warm blanket I've been hiding under is unraveling.
Each little mistake and each poor decision is tugging at the strings of my once strong fabric.
The chill of winter is seeping through my quilt.
I cannot hide for long.
forward roll-the promise of more
cartwheel clumsy around
hope to never fall down!
cause life is a backbend
round off now,
warmer, stronger.
independence on beams-
seems life is a backbend
What is your favorite season?
The weather of fall is beautiful,
Glorious and bright but
Chilling and crisp.
The colors of fall are brilliant,
Red and orange and
Brown and purple.
I have nicotine stains on my fingers.
I've got dreams that will never come true.
I've got about a thousand ways to say
I don't love you.
I've got five dollars in my pocket
and when I leave I say goodbye
I fly, sometimes, I really do
In space of endless, sticky goo
And even though this flight is free
I find it hard to be just "me"
Its words and trends trade in my own
For styles and tones of the well-known
We can't wait for it to get here, but when it's here it quickly goes away.
Reality smacks us in the face when we realize we can't hold on to it.
It happens so quickly. You go to your classes, you do the same thing every day, and then it hits you - you're not a kid anymore. You see your older friends leaving high school.
I'm from the largest apple
the world's ever seen.
from arroz con pollo
and rice and beans.
From dirty subways
in the empire state
in a 92nd street apartment
it was all so great
Heart breaks hurt
When the person thinks it funny what he did
It makes it even worse
It’s like why say all of this to me and treat me like this
My heart might break from things sometime.
But eventually it gets put back together
Sometimes things get put back together with help.
Bundled asleep under a blanket of soil,
Anticipating the day to uncoil,
Dreaming of what the future might bring,
Knowing that soon the birds will sing.
I've looked into the faces of my elders
and seen a child's tears.
I've seen in their eyes
the sadness that comes
with wisdom beyond their years.
Are adults hardened children?
Go ahead and say it
a voice like a comet
the moment at hand
the glory of this land
though growing up's tough
you become strong enough
to endure and push through
inside the red, white and blue
When kids tell others about their hopes and dreams.
They tell you the most wild, outrageous things.
Astronauts, princesses, and superheros is what they want to be,
The end of school is soon,
But yet I don't want to say goodbye.
When the clock strikes noon,
I feel as if a part of me will die.
She chose to wander all over and about
but she couldn't find her way out.
It's like she vanished in thin air
but the thing is she was really there.
She was scared that
if she opened the window of light
One beautiful woman with a twisted soul, is losing herself by playing her role
She yearns for perfection when looking in glass. She dances in darkness to please the mass
Young men keep street corners company, impressionable young women keep those young men warm.
No promise of a home is intended, desperate for opportunity they implode.
One sweltering Saturday morning, I knew I grew up.
It was not because I pressed my back against the wall and marked a new line.
Two inches taller.
It was not because I made my own breakfast.
We liked to write stories on our skin.
It helped the time pass in the winter.
We only hoped they would stay hidden
but we sinned and sinned and sinned.
Soon we gave up trying to cover-up.
All the excitement killed when you walk through the door
It was built to be such a great time in my life
Eating lunch wherever
Feels like your whole time in high school was supposed to be spent in the halls
Tip toe, tip toe, tip toe
Along the silver line -
Others twisting, twirling
In daring deeds sublime!
Cautiously a crawler
To unknown world beyond -
Others singing, dancing,
Above the sparkling pond.
If I could wander these city paths with you forever
That would be true eternal bliss
Because the cars whizzing by, the skyscrapers tearing holes in the bright blue sky
She bangs her head upon the wall
She’ll learn it well or take the fall
Mistakes repeated blindness wield
New before old wounds have healed
Injustice, target, is the claim
But only choices bad remain
Think back….
Can you remember houses made of cardboard boxes
Out of which came your parents’ new furniture from ikea
Do you remember changing your names
city stars twinkle above dragonflies
wet grass flattens under our bodies’ core
the flirty wind plays with us and replies
to questions of bubbles we blew before
although the room is spinning,
your legs begin to shake,
put down the bottle and razor,
this decision you're about to make.
sit down on the bathroom floor,
it's cold and a little damp,
My father had once told me
you'll never know just what you'll be
even with the end in sight
just before the end of night
dont jump too soon, because you'll fall
just hang on tight, fight through it all
i’m not sure if i like
tea or coffee
fruits or vegetables
cats or dogs
math or reading
running or sitting
tears or laughter
gloves or mittens
How is it these days
That kids are expected to act older,
be mature, grow up sooner rather than later?
How is it that kids are treated like kids,
yet told that they need to be responsible?
I passed the park today
and saw the children playing
Heard the squeaking of the metal
merry-go-round turning
——————————-
Play little children play
The world is here for just one day
So today is the day.
It's finally time to say goodbye.
To all the hours,
The ages I've spent here.
This is the place where my friends became my family.
After all the initiations,
And the hours in the sun.
I have found you in this small room, neatly tucked away in the closet so no one can see you.
Never have I seen a body tremble so rapidly. Much like the movements of a leaf when it takes off in its autumn wind.
This small house,
(do you see?)
was not cramped,
(so you see.)
there could not be,
(see. see. see.)
many things
(you don’t see.)
Young and eager, but foolish and rash
Ready to begin anew in a world I barely understand.
Glittering with promise and intangible dreams
That I race to capture, I ache to believe, and get lost in.
I often wish I was a bird so away from my problems I could fly
Or maybe a turtle so I could climb inside my shell and die.
I could be a tree in the breeze so green and carefree.
I wrote you a letter but you never replied
And something was loosed inside of my mind
You can take a chance and call it independence
But you’ll be gone before your time
She looks at the woman’s familiar face
The one that has been the same every day for eighteen years
New creases appear that weren’t there before
When did she get so old?
Just yesterday they were playing, laughing,
2013
My graduation year
the end has never seemed so near
leaving friends and my home in the past
but i promise i wont forget the tough times
staying up late to finish homeowrk
Black men of today lets start being fathers
And setting examples for our sons and daughters
Lets treat not only yourselves but women with respect
So the youth can grow up, think, and reflect
There was a boy who dreamed so high
Looked at the sky to see if he can try
As Life went on all that he can see,
Is a harsh road filled with spikey trees.
Down he goes to see the road,
Why do i feel so alone? People around me say they want to help, yet only make things worse. They Say "we know what your going through", "We can help you." A smile on my face as i nod. Truthfully i don't their pity. I know what i'm capable of.
I want only to touch upon what I'm missing, to poke a pin through my darkness, so I can see fiery reds, and envious greens, and pastel periwinkles, and the gleaming sun.
My never ending love
To stand by the challenges of your life
The attachment I give to you
The strength I see in you
I come from love and holy words
I've memorized many lines
I am welcomed by the sound of singing
The songs I've grown-up to know
Von dem Käfig zu dem Fenster,
Der Vogel starrte an.
Die glieche alte Ballade;
Nur Ein Tanz der Hoffnung.
Happiness is good, and sadness as well
For both are signals of the sensations one felt
Happiness without the other is like an empty ecstasy,
a meaningless sensation of colors and joy
(poems go here) I ate PB&J and cookies and milk and candy on Halloween and hamburgers and hot dogs and not vegetables and cupcakes at Hartney’s party and went to the beach and built sandcastles and moats and walls and holes and skipped rocks a
I don't care you're not the same as me
You don't care I'm not the same as you
Why is that so hard for them to see?
They always talk but never do
I know I once was a spoiled brat
Who would cry when nothing would go according to plan
Yet I was also a shy, timid thing
Other kids despised who I was, and always ran
Im not up to your standards
so tell me how to be more black
My looks are substandard
so show me how be more beautiful
I didnt get a perfect score on ACT like my best friend
so tell me again how I'm stupid I am
In my time of need, words rushed me
Incoherent and strangled words
Fearful and swarming in my mind
So I took them into my hand
And stuffed them into my pocket
They became scattered and sullied
Catch the moon
Race the sun
It’s all that should be done
With life so short
In a future unwritten
With nothing defined
All is a question
Memories may fade
Reality may fall
I don’t know why
I don’t know why
I see the stars and I meet the sky
And just like that, I hit the ground
I don’t land on my feet, but I can hear the sound
Running, my heart and step pounding as one
An echo sounding solely in my chest
I look ahead to see us light up our city swept surroundings
Shining like stars, we are grounded, but free as feathered teams
Half asleep, yet full of laughter
Knowing not what we are after
The fill and feel of the crisp morning air
We steal our joy spent with such little care
Our dreams making up our new rallied world
What is this force that wraps us in warm embrace?
Steel wrought chains wrapped around us, within the darkness.
As I walk, I see the bridge.
I smell the musty white rails.
I hear the heartbreaking whistle of the train.
I feel the embrace of her through the wind.
I taste the tears as they roll down my cheeks.
Your thoughts come as no surprise
I'm tired of your many lies
Stop beating me, I'll stop beating you
It's a truce
Remember who I am
Young and restless
Caged and Depressed
Never size me up
I am in a river and the current has caught me
under my feet and is sweeping me downstream.
I try to gasp for air, but I can't tell which way is up.
Which way is down.
I hear glass bottles breaking
Babies crying
Tear drops dripping (CLUNK)
Cars beeping their horns.
Teacher's yelling like no tomorrow.
Chairs banging against the table (BANG).
Pressure, pressure, the need to be the best
Is sucking me, pulling me, and making me a mess
Every paper, every grade, every solemn word I speak
Has been thought up, reviewed, and perfected till made bleak
It's an emotional outburst
Followed by a storm of despair
I'm trapped in the winds of depression
As misery floats in the air.
The forecast is cloudy
And party forlorn
With rain clouds of woe
Once upon a blue sky, her parents loved her.
They would call her beautiful and talented and smart.
Her laugh was infectious, bringing joy to everyone she knew.
People would say she was unstoppable,
And she was.
i told myself i’d fix him
show him that killing isn’t his path
but he’s psychotic and poetic
i guess i didn’t do the math.
The walls pink like roses
painted with a garden full of daisies and tulips
The carpet soft as cotton
Barbie dolls and bouncy balls.
The closet, huge as a house,
stuffed with toys that her Mom said to put away
I started my first day of kindergarten
With a nervous smile and untied shoes
And Byron didn’t hug me because he didn’t want cooties
And Gemma and I played with my mother’s makeup
Driving’ in his car, its amazing how the wind flows through the room.
I couldn’t stop getting butterflies touching him. Why couldn’t it last for so long?
I couldn’t help but to say goodbye.
The innocence of youth
So easily lost
One moment
One memory
Lost forever
Denied
As if they were never there
What happened to them?
One minute they’re there
The next minute they’re gone
I just want to go away and never return.
Stay free from all concern,
But deep inside I'm afraid I will crash and burn.
Possibly take a wrong turn,
And be forced to make that apprehensive return.
I thought women had
silver dollar nipples
not ones that look like
balls of scrunched up
panty-hose.
Do you think about the someday things?
The details, technicalities, buttons up the back.
The names of your kids, if you’ll have kids,
Or an iguana, or an alcohol problem?
Periodically I find myself coming to the realization I’m an adult, and it’s daunting.
Mature
Unfurl new wings,
Anxious to taste freedom,
Yet afraid to take the first leap,
Adult
