hey, mom
- it's me, your daughter.
i don't know what to say to you anymore,
because i feel like you've always been able to say it for me,
the willows that didn't exist in our yard,
the school buses that weren't made for me.
i was a tough kid to raise, wasn't i
head somewhere else, somewhere better
where you didn't have to worry about money or the weather
the soles of my shoes a mess
our family no less
a family stuck between a chance and a bet
we were always in debt, we loved to regret
and i used to think that was all that you would teach me
my hands were shaking in between the lines
and you didn't know what to do when i cried
(joke's on you, it was fine
you always hugged me and dried my eyes
and you taught me that love means sacrifice, sometimes
but not all the time)
you taught me confidence even when you didn't realize it
you were a scholar in bravery, you always defined it
for me, a kid with no one to turn to
except i would turn, and there would be you
and the thing is,
i really do know what to tell you
it's that i love you, that i don't want to leave you
but here we are
a week from my flight
i'm sitting here waiting for the biggest change of my life
and yes, there's you,
there always will be
i'll call you and you'll tell me about the neighbors' pine trees
i feel your hugs late into the night
i feel them in my tears when i'm watching movies, right
there next to you, away from you, i went on a trip without
you and you know i love you, mom, you weren't perfect but
that's the point, you tried your hardest and so now
we rejoice, everything's good now, it's all going up
i can sing in front of people and you can buy that teacup.