I was an ass.
I was shy but an ass.
When I worked up the courage to talk,
all this gross undeserved arrogance would spill out like:
"I'm probably smarter than you."
to one of the few who tried to talk with me.
Not to mention the pent up racism, homophobia, and classism.
Unacknowledged of course.
Sometimes I slip up a little,
"Shut the fuck up, man." For no knowable reason to
a dude who was innocence embodied
with curly hair and serious social development issues
and I was really sorry--
Like, fuck! That was a dick move.
The thought paralyses me that I'm a white tank top and
my stains are so yellow and ugly
and it just looks bad and obvious
I hope I'm the only one remembering this
because no one wants to wear that shit.