I was afraid to be heard.
Afraid to be spoken to or with.
I was supposed to be the loudest in the room, and yet
I was the quietest.
I feared fear itself,
It feasted on my brain and my thoughts
It had me going insane and told me to forget where I came from.
My roots were buried down deep into the dirt and decomposed.
My life shifted from one foot to the other,
Everything was picked up and carried with the hurricane
My age went from one digit to two
I was left to cry in the dark because I felt weak.
The dark became my best friend and my worst nightmare,
I fear the dark
I feared to cry in front of everyone
I feared to be alone, please, why did you leave me alone?
Days went from blowing bubbles
To sleeping until 3 in the afternoon,
My grades went from the star child to bless your heart child
I let this thing called fear, control my life and decisions
But it got to the point where I was tired of living.
How do I live?
How do I continue?
I was tired of this and took my life back in renew
I entered my coin before the voice said “one”
I began to fast forward before my life begun
I was ready to go full throttle and pace myself,
But it turned to stress so I settled for less.
I continued to go on green
But occasionally stopped at my red and yellows
I sleep in the dark with a night light,
My tears come whenever they please,
I am not afraid to be by myself any longer,
because I am my father’s daughter,
I am my mother’s present
And I am 2 out of 3 of my grandparent’s star children.
Though I am a teenager and I am young and not so free,
I gave myself the freedom I needed to keep living.