I think I realized I wasn’t a kid anymore when

Everything changed. I don’t really remember…

 

Did I wake up one morning and it was all different

Just like that?  *snaps fingers for effect*

No. I think it came slowly.

Change is subversive, and she takes her time.

Someone planted new emotions in my mind,

And I didn’t really realize until

Boom! They’d grown into plants ten feet tall,

Way above my head, out of my control.

 

Ah, yes, that was it.

Control. The day I realized I was growing older

Was the day I realized what control is.

 

I mean, you have choices.

You control your emotions and your thoughts,

Or else you let them control you.

When I was a kid I thought nothing of it.

I acted on impulse, I let caprice lead me wherever.

And sometimes Caprice leads you down the wrong path.

 

But the day I grew up was the day I looked at him

And I said, “Look, I don’t have to follow you.

I can make my own choices.”

I learned that I can take control.

 

Fine, I am learning. I use the gerund,

Because learning control is a lifelong process.

My ten-foot tall emotions can still daunt

Even me.

 

So. Let me take a few steps back.

The day I realized I wasn’t a kid anymore

Is everyday. If growing up means

Learning to control my emotions, then

Growing up is forever.

 

I am always growing up, so are you. We all are.

I never woke up and it was all different

Just like that.

Growing up is subversive, but she means well.

And she takes her time.