I started my first day of kindergarten
With a nervous smile and untied shoes
And Byron didn’t hug me because he didn’t want cooties
And Gemma and I played with my mother’s makeup
Coloring our faces and pretending to act like
A grown up.

I started my first day of middle school
With a nervous smile and a new outfit
And Byron started to date girls
And didn’t believe in cooties anymore.
And Gemma started to wear makeup everyday
Because she wanted to look pretty like
A grown up.

I started my first day of high school
With a nervous smile and a heavy backpack
And Byron started sleeping with lots of girls
But not actually committing to one girl.
And Gemma caked her face with makeup
And all the boys noticed her and she felt pretty.
And no one would listen to us because we
Were not quite kids but we weren’t yet
A grown up.

I threw up my graduation cap on the last day of high school
With a big smile and a short dress
And Byron actually did get cooties from some girl
And another girl gave him a baby
Even though he never wanted one.
And Gemma went to rehab
Because she started to not feel pretty
And stopped eating for a while.
And now no one wants to be
A grown up.

I started my first day of college
With an anxious smile and a new laptop.
And Byron didn’t go to college
Because he didn’t get accepted anywhere.
And Gemma went back to rehab
Because she still didn’t feel pretty enough
Even though she was beautiful.
And I don’t talk to either of them anymore
Because Byron doesn’t need me
And Gemma doesn’t want me.
And everything worries me now
Because this is what it feels like
To be a grown up.