when I was starving
when I was left for dead
when I was abandoned

or

when I was freezing
to death in the winter cold
when I was scorched
by the hot summer sun
when I didn’t have a home to live in
except behind sewing factories
hiding between boxes of fabric
running away in the morning

or

when I didn’t have baby formula
when I didn’t have diapers
when I didn’t have toys to play with

or

when we could finally afford a room
only to be evicted
a few weeks later
several different times
when we had to walk miles and miles to the nearest supermarket
on our last legs, on our last couple of dollars
when I had to take turns sleeping either
on the floor or
on an old mattress
never to know what privacy is

or

when we got a microwave for Christmas
and could finally have hot meals
when we got a small fridge
and I tasted refreshing fizzy soda for the first time
when we got a TV
and I would wake up every Saturday to catch the cartoons

or

when I grew sick and tired
of eating the same rice and eggs combo at the baby sitter’s
and came to love sneakin’
a bite from one of those ramen packages
when I discovered how comfortable
wearing hoodies could be and
how colorful beach shorts really are
when I had my first crush
only to find out she was no longer a she
ten years later

or

when I saw my friends-
when I saw them spend time with-
when I saw them happy with both of their parents
a complete family

or how about this, how about

when Ma died.

when I lost everything.

when I didn’t have anyone left.

Where were you man?
When I needed you the most!
When I needed you in my life!
When I needed you to call me your son!

when I needed

a Father.

where were you?