Growing Up


One of my old poems:


Darkness sinks it's claws into my mind
Wreaking havoc, killing time
It drags though and summons pain
And sometimes I just can't help but wonder
If things will always stay the same
Trapped in a loop
Of isolated misery
Happiness is an illusion
And reality isn't worth the wait
I need to run
Need to scream, fight, and cry
Need to explode before I implode
And burst into shards of self
Puzzle pieces that don't fit
Edges that won't match
Leaving huge holes and empty gaps
Want to just lose my mind sometimes
Want to just let everything go
Wanna be free and escape and be me
Without the crap and the worry
There's no shooting star
No wishing well
No sparkling fountain
No bright light
No time that's right
I'm not a kid anymore
I can't lie to myself, can't rely on someone else
As it was so shall it be
Things aren't going to change
No matter how I try
It's always gonna just be me
And at night
When I sit and deny
Trying to pretend it'll be alright
The light of day shines cold and heartless
And I sink deeper into the dark
Fall further into the shadows
I wish that when morning comes
I'll see the melodrama and laugh
The weight will be lifted and I'll breathe
But when the sun rises
Nothing will have changed
It'll still just be me and shadows in my brain


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