Innocence Lost/Knowledge Gained

I sit on the eve of adulthood

Having seen and done things

That would have made 5 year old me

Thoroughly uninterested. 
 

 

I have witnessed the beauty of loss

The same sterility and cruel coldness

Of the bitter snow

That falls, despite our longing it didn't
 

 

I have experienced the sting of love

The fires that burn hotter than Hell

And scorch the inner heart,

And outer face of a boy

Still naïve and hopeful
 

 

I have lived the restless slumber 

The type of sleep you only really know

When fully awake, and yet more asleep

Than you were the night before
 

 

I have seen the immaculate dumps

The trash heaps we polish 

With as much reverence as we hold

For the creator of the universe
 

 

I have done so much

And yet so little

And yet, anything I did

Or am doing

Or have yet to do

Will bore the snot out of 5 year old me
 

 

When I was five, I knew what interested me

Trains

I was going to be a train driver

Not a conductor

A train driver. 

And I was going to be best friends

With Thomas the Tank Engine

 

 

Money? Who cares.

I had trains

With faces

That could TALK
 

 

Let's face it:

It would be completely amazing to have a best friend 

Who also happened to be a train

But we all know that isn't possible

 

 

But I didn't
 

 

I still think we owe it to ourselves

The us we used to be

To see all we can see

Learn all that may be

Set ourselves free

And I know you agree

But we must ask: do we?

 

 

Do we actually try and live life to the fullest?

Or do we let it slip by

Like sand through an hourglass

Rain through the air

Another clichéd analogy
 

 

A few quotes, from a few roles

"I promise not to waste my life 

On common place, ordinary pursuits."

"If I were a rich man..."

"There are secrets on a leaf, in the water, in the air: 

hidden planets, tiny worlds, all invisible."

"Daddy, I got cider in my ear."
 

 

You could say I learn a lot from my roles.

I pick up traits from all of them

And always end up changing somehow

Which is important

Because adapting is part of life
 

 

We come to terms with loss

Learn to love again,

Open our eyes

And see the golden opportunity before us

This poem is about: 
Me

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741