Breakup
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5 months, trading kisses in my carYour hands tracing hearts around my armsOur lives, we knew would never be the sameOh why’d you have to go and change4 weeks, that’s all it took for me to fallYour smile I wish I could forget it allYour laugh’s for
Days and months ago by and I still have this wound
Cant force it to heal or it will never heal
Your voice still echoes at night
Look at the mess you made
I cant stay this way but this pain is too much
I think I lost myself, again Because here I am, fondling the sheets at 3am, looking for you in the darkness I only feel comfortable, if you are around And I can't eat, unless I feed you first
Don't you find the concept interesting?
People grow so attached to other people
We depend on them throughout the day
They become our day, our night, our evening
Suddenly
It's time to call quits
But all dreams end
The fear came to life
I don't think in the way I thought it would
I was scared the beauty would fade
I was scared the strength would die
This is a different kind of dream
The fear came to life
I don't think in the way I thought it would
I was scared the beauty would fade
Yet you're still here thinking I'm so
I was scared the strength would die
Yet you're still here supporting
I want to build you a library and fill it with all your favorite books
And all the reasons I still love you.
And I will never stop adding to it
That way you can wander the halls of my heart chambers forever.
Lover, you were a hurricane
A tornado
The typhoon to explain why some sailors never made it home
And I used to call you mine
And I used to call you after work
And I used to hold your hand
My first ex and I only lasted long enough to celebrate Valentine’s Day.
And my next ex was there for my birthday, but didn’t want the commitment.
So I didn’t let him stick around long enough to take Halloween too
5 months, trading kisses in my car
Your hands tracing hearts around my arms
Our lives, we knew would never be the same
But why’d you have to go and change
Hey
4 weeks, that’s all it took for me to fall
When we met you told me that your heart was a broken song
So I hope you were able to fix it with the pieces you took after shattering mine.
But mine will never be reassembled on solid ground
I kept telling myself I was over you
That I was done writing about you
Or thinking about you
Or talking about you
But here I am
Six months later and I still feel guilty for letting your name grace my tongue
If our story is over
Let me be the first to write the endnote
Let me be the first to close the cover
To burn the pages where I scribbled your name in my dreams
And if the pages are burning
I'm falling
But you won't catch me.
I'm falling,
Landing out this time.
I'm falling
But you didn't push me.
I'm falling
But you didn't pull me.
"I can't help it if you're falling"
I would love to tell you "take all the time you need, I'll be here"
I would really, really love to,
But I don't really know if I can.
Not like this.
Desert.
Dry.
Empty.
Lost.
Lonley.
There is something that weighs on my chest
Every night as I go to bed,
I have no way to distinguish
What I want, what I can ask for, and what I need.
There is something that aches in my chest
Back and forth
In and out
Running away
Coming back.
Here and there
Nowhere to be found
I say “I’ll just forget”
I say “I’m a clown”.
Dancing and turning
Lying in bed
He was a grain of sand and you were the ocean.
You are so much more than he could ever hope to be,
and when your tide comes in he will be a distant memory.
I'm not asking for a bouquet of flowers on my step door every single day
I haven't asked for handwritten poems on the daily or for you to have to pay
I never asked for the moon, the sun, the mountains or the bay
Hate to let you goOur life till now has beenhigh drama in a showWe both have given up ontrying to make things right,all we do is fight,stuck in a hopeless plight.I wish you wouldn’t go
my car smells like dead flowers
that you got for me
it's not that i didn't appreciate them
i just didn't have a vase
i threw them away today
i think that might mean something
I think it’s time to let you go
I wish this healing process wasn’t so slow
It’s scary being with out you
Now who do I call
when the days have been long
Empty
This is the best way I can describe how I feel right now
How I feel knowing that it’s over
That our adventures are over
That the plans we made will never come to fruition
Why is it we have desperation and reliability on one person we want when we can’t have?
The worst feeling that won’t go away until they say yes, and deepens when they go away.
The wind howls, feeding all my fears
rain plummets like pent-up tears
thunder roars to hide my cry
you walk away
I wonder why
you fade away
into the gray...
emptiness
So a thunderstorm
A really ugly fight
Four days of not talking
Maybe just another break
But we know that a break isn’t a break
"She was my little girl
God, how I had loved her
She was not made for me;
even though you made her.
Out of fine flesh and Earth she was made,
then woven and threaded along head.
She was ripe but not rough,
my body is a temple.
he comes to worship nightly.
slams these doors wide open
knowing they were only ever expecting him.
my body is a temple.
he bounds inside,
starving for my holy water.
i feel so weak.
i am a beggar pleading for change
from a man whose hands i'm afraid will never give to me again.
i only yearn for those few small tokens of affection.
he grabs my heart, clutching it as hard as he can.
his words stab every vessel, each cut deeper than the next.
"i thought it would go away."
me too.
but it hasn't.
I know you are not here for me
I kneeled and prayed to the trees
the trees only my lips had kissed
whalst you kissed her silhotte
she was missed, but not quite gone
You had known me long
It all started one day,
and I had no clue
of what was coming my way
I can't believe it's true.
I was told it would happen,
she made me feel so happy…
so why did I feel so trapped?
I felt that I had finally found a person in this world who genuinely cared for me—and who I genuinely cared for back—and simultaneously that I was drowning where I stood.
We both know were running out of time
So is it wrong to trust all these lies
Is it wrong to give up all my love for you
Falling like an angel from the sky
Locked myself in the bathroom
I Could feel your arms on me
Your tears on my cheek
Screaming please don't leave
But that was in my dreams
But in real
We were running
our breaths raspy
you could see my heart
in my breast
It seemed innocent
but you had a wicked grin
poision was running in your veins
you fainted
Dreams that taste like memories,
My tonuge twists in my mouth.
I feel your hand caress my cheek.
You catch a falling tear and wipe it, gently, away.
But your kiss is sterile, empty bland.
I would rather hate you then love the idea of you.
That's the world I've been inhabiting for the last few months.
My stream has emptied into the sea of your emotions,
and I am tossed around in the malestrom of your moods.
I was willing to change for you, you know.
And I thought I've loved people before you,
they always say the first hurts the worst, so I thought it was over.
The pain, you know.
(Kristen)Getting the person you love back in your life can be achieved through a love spell, that will be cast Naturally, i lost my boyfriend to another girl and i was devastated at that moment, then i came accross this (https ://lovespellsolution
I take drugs to feel good, boy.You lie like a liar should, boy.I don't trust, but who would, boy,after all I've been through?
तब बातें खत्म नहीं हुआ करती थी
आज बातें शुरू करने के लिए भी बहाना ढूंढ ना पड़ रहा ,
तो तब भी मेरे करीब ना था, लेकिन फिर भी तो सबसे ज्यादा करीब था,
तू आज भी तो मेरे करीब नहीं है पर क्यों आज तेरी यादें ही बस मेरे करीब है ।
Those dishes that I cooked,
Those stories that I said,
Baby, you said you were impressed...
I am not beautiful,
I repeat this tune,
I hide away in my cocoon,
Try to disappear,
Loose in the crowd,
You never seemed capable of such change,
never dreamed that you could have forgotten
all those hot summer days we once shared.
You told me how you wanted to cut
Curtains and ceilings are the TVs of late night thought trains
When you can’t think straight
When your mind draws blanks
All the patterns are signals
Made up
warmth.
embrace, it's something i lack.
i'll be without, you won't come back.
hate.
love, it's all an illusion.
at this point it's all confusion.
fate.
Tick tock
Biological clock
So selfish of you to take so much time to decide
To say it is over
Don't you know there are deadlines
I must keep?
My plans have fallen apart
You’ll never let me go.
I understand that.
You have pride, beliefs, things that keep you from leaving me alone to fend for myself,
thought i was finally done and then i noticed
it was small things at first
you unfollowed me on everything
which was to be expected
dropped any sort of contact
Stars that waver in the night
Its cold exterior rippled by the comets shed
The aurora night sky blooms in unknown emotions
The cosmos is all she weeps for
I told you I was sorry.
You thought I was lying.
But it might have been the first true thing we've said to each other in months.
I was sorry.
I was sorry you thought I would put up with the worry.
I have never experienced love
At least not the kind that I give that goes beyond and above
Now your back in my life trying to ask, What’s Up?
If you're going to the same party I am,
please don't ask where I'll be.
I'll be wearing my revenge dress, dancing with a boy with blue hair or a girl with a nose ring,
and you don't want to see that.
I am not going to write about you.
I am not going to write about him.
I am not going to write about it.
I am not going to write about me.
I want to write about the world.
I want to write about changes.
The hallways linger with the memories of us
the smooth warmth your hand left on mine
silent smiles
the music our souls sang still echos
if you are quiet enough you can hear the laughs we shared
Last night you called;
I love you was written in your pupils
I'm sorry on your lips
Don't leave in your eyebrows
I miss you in your eyelashes
You’re not here anymoreto laugh at my stupid jokesand say “I love you”to make me feel specialor loved in any way.You’re not here anymoreto make me breathethe air that you’ve become to me
My peers.
My friends.
My family.
My thoughts.
They scream at me.
Why do you waste your time, girl?
A train pulled through my heart and let you off.You pushed your loco... motives...into my life,
It is bittersweet.
I miss taking you to eat
and I miss rubbing on your feet.
I miss having someone to trust
and to be vulnerable with and to lust
after..
You'd eat my broccoli and I'd eat your crust.
We started out as strangers,
We met -- you my teacher, I your student.
I was drawn to your mystery,
Your dark, brooding looks I was admiring.
My heart fluttered a little each time you glanced my way,
It isn’t something that’s mine anymore yet I crave it
The warmth on my cheeks that I felt when your eyes looked past mine into my butterflies
Well now it’s cold
Her eyes reminded me of the old embers in the fireplace,
unkempt by my absent father.
~awatr
I told you that you took my breath away;
Little did I know that you were suffocating me.
~awatr
Her face is broken with tears,
Her heart is shattered with grief.
Holding no sympathy, his face was blank.
His heart is cold and dark.
Love destroyed them,
I look across
The room,
And feel the loss
Of the love we once consumed.
Your smile,
As wide once before.
I know its been a while
I shouldve given you more.
You feel like you've found your light
You feel like the darkness surrounding you is dimming down
You finally have a vision in sight,
You suddenly feel like you are not going to drown.
You turns Me into We
it's a long and lonely mile home from your door
hold me in your arms just once more
its a long and lonely mile to walk till daylight comes
and i fear your smile's still here and it's tearing me apart
I’ll remember
You
Through time’s filter
Turning thoughts yellow
And blue, flowers
Wilting, snow
Falling
I Am A Pine
You had me believe you were a beauty
A seed, a flower, a fruit, a sweet, to me you seemed
Your dark branches enchanted me but you aren’t the wise tree you seemed
I am not going to sleep again
A glass of wiskey and my pen
Fills all my dreams in my paper and vein
Climbing towards my brain
I promise I am not gonna sleep again
I told them how it hurt
They said the pain would go away
In two years
I'll be okay
Cause that's just us
We break apart
But never fall out of love
why do you expect me to be okay?
to be okay with your actions,
to be okay with what you say
i'm not
why do you expect me to forget?
the words you told me,
the words you said
i can't
It never works,
And I'm an idiot for trying.
I feel like you've unpopped the corks,
'Cause I'm suddenly crying.
I spread the tips of my fingers against the smooth wood of my table- elongated so there’s enough room in the center for a bouquet of roses.I never thought I’d be given roses: a traditional statement.
I really want to call you...
& tell you I still care...
But I know you won't say it back....
& I don't think it's fair..
There's a place for everything and everything in its place..
Well, where do I put the memories of the past I can't erase?
If I could build the truth for you, I'd make it out of titanium steel...
I'd weld it together with all of the reasons -WHY- I STILL feel the way that I feel...
FOR: My Ex Now, but My Love ONE 4ever.. J.G. (*BTW, MOST of poems are about him....)
I'm glad you took everything that would remind me of you..
Cause I don't want to remember anything we went through.
I was in love with you before even knowing your existence.In your eyes I saw the meaning of love when you first looked at me. And I was wondering how? And why Me?
Where there's pain, there's Love.
Where there's Love there are two,
But with two, there's still you.
All that's left is just you,
And the pain that's in you.
Pale skin like cream
Brown hair like coffee
Smile so sweet
Sugar would be salty
You’re my caffeine in the morning
When I look into your eyes
Robust like hazelnut
I fell in love at a bus stop
I fell in love and came out on top
I fell for him and it was my fault
I fell in love at a bus stop
Across the rows
I crossed alone
More than hope
I love you But not enough To give up the universe inside meLet its planets fall out of or
My mama told me that friends come in all shapes and sizes.
The people closest to you are variations of you;
People who have qualities that you want to see in yourself.
feelings we disect,
fail to digest.
we're both so depressed.
emotions repressed;
show reason less.
we scream and we shout;
dont know what about.
I saved this for us.
you stressed me out.
You were in my coffee cup in every morning.
And so you burned my tongue, but you were addictive
You were my sunshine.
And so you left red marks on my skin.
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you ignited
an uncouth flame
a knife to sharpen
and a thing to blame
but forever we were
flowers need more than water to grow
maybe that’s why I run away at the sight of them blooming
I can’t even remember to water them once a day
how can I sustain them for years?
In a state of grief I was in complete disbelief,
How could someone hurt me so deep?
How did I cope feeling as if there was no hope?
I'm telling you it's no joke.
Dear Ex-Significant Other,I refer to you as "ex-significant other" because I know you wish that I had said that instead of your name back when I ranted about you on social media.
Red and white striped in a shape of a wheel,
a wheel that can drive me craving for ones loving feels,
From the middle it is all pink dyed,
as though it can describe my deep hurt feelings from the inside,
Thy kindnesses are to me sweet
As a barbed rose, which I grasp ungloved
To learn that I was unloved
By thee was to my soul a frosty defeat
But my heart scarce can dwell in conceit
He tasted like mangosi couldn't place it until the next daywhen his lips were no longe
tell me that you want a tree,
an Apple Tree.
the fruit you desire, it will produce
but, if you, plant it first.
the tree will give you many years
but, if you, will give it drink.
Red.
So Red.
That's what color you seeped out.
But please don't get me wrong, it's not
because that's the color of
love
and passion
No.
Dear Stephanie,
As if you were a patient etherized upon my table, I sliced through your heart with my scalpel and tore your heart apart.
Never before had I left a soul so inconsolable.
To my depression:
I spent too long loving you
and being held hostage to the
warmth you’d radiate
because I was always so cold
We met in school, but we rarely talked.
You waited for me.
Then I fell in love with someone else,
But you waited for me.
When it ended, we were in different classes,
Yet you waited for me.
Dear ______,
You were the tidal wave to my smoldering fire
The Dorothy to my Cowardly Lion
The Dementor to my Gryffindor
You were the thorn to my rose
The melody to my song
The strings to my harp
Dear Him,
Your eyes shine so bright,
Just as the stars in the sky.
I remember the night,
You had said good bye.
The sparkling sun gleamed down,
As I replay the memories;
Everytime we argue, we create a storm.
You say things you don't mean- please don't make a scene.
Those vulgar words you say, I wish they could be unheard.
And as we separate- the clouds they turn grey.
Dear lover,
The warming filling of your heart
brings satisfaction to my mind.
I trust you with all my being
to never ever break my heart.
I love you.
I know it's crazy to say this but it's true.
There's nothing I wouldn't do
For you, I would move mountains
Cross rivers and die for you
Dear Anxiety,
What if they don’t pick me?
What if I am not good enough?
What if I don’t win any scholarships at all?
What if I write the worst letter they’ve seen?
wrap me in your love again.
blanket plush,
velvet crushed.
make me feel again.
misery, over and over.
Take my hand
Out of here we can run
Open doors and chances
Let go and walk away
And steal what's not yours
You said, you said that we'd last
but now the flag flies half-mast
You said, you said this was true, so real
so how is it you cease to feel
You said, you said, don't give up
yet whose eyes look away so abrupt
to the girl i pushed away,
you and i could’ve been cosmic sky beams
we could’ve been one another’s worlds and more
Liberation,
She called it,
Discharging pet
Lovebird from the
Foreign shackles
Named commitment
Dear The One Who Hates,
I still remember the days that we shared.
The plucking of flowers and pulling of hair.
The theories of God that would fly through our heads
To the lost boy,
You don’t want to see me dance, or hear me laugh out loud.
I’ll still do both anyway, in hopes I’ll make you proud.
Please don’t miss out on this journey of mine,
Oh, how these past few months have been filled with tears.
Losing you was by far one of my biggest fears.
You made me face it, with your sadistic, evil ways.
And now we haven't spoken in days.
Thank you,
Seeing your letters after long day’s toil, like flowers with warm ethereal glow grounded solitarily in iced soil Comfort and warmth upon me they’d bestow I held your promise so close to my heart
If I share my mind,
will that be of higher value than my body?
If I share my words,
my thoughts, fears, passions,
will that be of higher value than my kisses,
my hugs, touches, caressing hands?
I can't get your fucking taste out of my mouthand you can't get mad at me for the ways I tried to
I kissed him and I kissed anotherbut I think they could tell I whispered your name into their mouths
To My Mother
Momma he beats me.
What do you want for dinner?
Leftovers sound fine.
To My Lover Abroad
Tell me you love me.
Remember the ferry ride?
You are the one who is truly worthy.
The type of gift that I will always cherish.
You come from a culture that is earthy.
Our mutual love will never perish.
My mind is tough, but my heart was broken.
Vital Severing
Do you remember me?
You taught me how to sing
I took your everything
Your tears still stain my keys
Our vital severing
Brought growing pains
Goodbye
I wont see you again.
We don't always love what loves us,
But please do not forget
that we laid out in the parking-lot
We were like any normal couple.
Had the same interests,
Liked the same things,
Laughed at the same dumb jokes.
Only,
I didn’t feel the same way as him.
Love
Enters
Reality
Someday.
Previously, it was me before you.
It’s now lost time.
Seeing you hurts.
It is necessity.
What is “it?”
You made you fall in love with youBut you cheatedI met all your loved onesBut you cheatedYou got down on one kneeBut you cheatedYou smiled for all the gifts I gave youBut you cheated
Your entire life you have been searching for a home yet you only seem to feel at peace when he talks
The way his voice soothes your soul and completes a part of you nothing else can
you drive a stake into the ground.
Rather sturdy, pretty solid
seems to work out all around
Feels nearly flawless
But now it's done,
the stake is removed
Like a smoking gun
I tried it.
I will try anything once.
I tried to trust you,
believe your promises.
I tried to follow you
even if you were wrong.
I tried to love you,
trust me this time.
It’s been a year:
365 days,
8760 hours,
A full rotation around our star.
I left you on the pier:
A boat filled dock,
Because I Love You, my heart skips a beat
When we were together, I felt complete.
This strange new feeling that took over me,
It made me blossom like a cherry tree
Now that you’re gone, its left me lost.
All my life
I have been taught to work towards my desires-
And turn them into possessions.
And for the most part,
I have been successful.
I miss you,And by you, I mean that feelingThat feeling that once consumed my whole existenceYou made me feel whole,And brought me kisses down my backHugs that were so good I didn’t want to let go
My heart has felt everything and then nothingIt has been ripped and burned and then sewn back together with broken fingersSo I put it where nobody can touch it, deep below my belly, hidden in the darkness
I hope you read between my words
Because I unfold stories with just my tongue.
I've created lilac skies inside empty minds,
And you have burned cities down to just ash.
I am sorry, it is time for me to depart
I have seen the person that you really are
Yet, he wishes for me to stay
Pulling the same trick just so I stick around for another day
I wasn't loved
You cheated, lied and hit
I felt the blood run down my cheek
You cheated, lied and swore
It would never
Happen
Again
I gave up
I broke it off
Maybe it was him.
Maybe it was me.
Maybe it was the world around us that never wanted us to be.
Maybe it was the wrong time to give us a try.
Maybe there was a hello that started with a goodbye.
Time slip beneath no wind as the purple star shaped petals glisten
Voices can be heard within the hollow air
The clouds hold heavy as it grew by the minute
It’s been a few days,
Since I’ve looked in your eyes
But I know the joy is gone,
And you feel empty inside.
I peek over my shoulder,
Catch you turning away.
You think I didn’t notice,
4 months since I held you last
Take me to lie in the feild of dead flowers-
4 months since you were mine-
And my only friends are the scarecrows residing in this corn-
The image is blurred
Spoken words, still unheard
Stop trying to change me
for your convenience.
Pictures and images
you are no longer perceiving.
Unavaible for your viewing
I see the pain in your eyes and I remember the day
Our friendship ended, and I turned you away.
We never held hands, yet our souls intertwined.
Our hearts melded together; yours and mine.
Sleepless for the reason of no more dreams.
For the reason of not having anything to think about.
For the reason of only having nightmares and why things won't happen anymore.
Happiness is sold to the past.
When you first took that step from me,
I held my breathe to see if you would leave.
Even I could see,
that after our break,
our love was no longer free.
Heartache and tears.
Contempt and fears.
Did I do something wrong?
Or was it just too long?
You tell me we weren't meant to be.
Only, my heart still beats for your warms lips
Underneath your hips, into madness,
Sadness,
I don’t know why I panic so much
My head gets heavy and I just feel crushed
Tons of pounds fall on me, as I fall down
Desperately trying to hold up, but I just hit the ground.
With a thud. It hurts.
Black hearts bleed red
I would know
For there is a sword in mine
It glistens ike embers when I turn to the sun
And it's red blood twinkles as it drips
As if the drops are falling stars
Not ready to see that face of yours again
The only thoughts I have are memories of mine pressed against yours
That so-called love we used to pass the loneliness we feel in our hearts
Running wild, all aroundStarting to the cold hard groundLoving life, feeling freeEroded rocks, let them beLook into his eyes, look soul deepBlack and empty, down so deepThe warmth of his lips
Will you remember the way you made me hate myself?
Will you remember the tears I cried from your continuous cheating?
Well I remember the scars you left,
Stabs into the heart as you degrade me of my worth,
I am sewing a dresswith the thread of strength,And knots of ambitions,And when it’s ready, Then will iron itwith the remission,I am sewing my broken soul!
Blinded by your lies
I trusted you
I should've seen it in your eyes
You were too out of view
All those nights were fun and games
Little did I know I was being played
You cried
You cried for maybe
20 minutes?
15?
Then you pleaded
You tried to at least
But why?
What's the point?
Then you screamed
Screamed at the world
the way in which you left
the way in which you gave up
the way in which you lost hope
tells me everything I have ever
hoped to
All relationships have a fixedstart and end date,a day that you cannot avoid,cannot delay,cannot escape.What is that saying?Ah yes:"All good things must come to an end."
You were my first everything.
My first friend,
My first prom,
My first date, I kicked your butt in bowling,
My first boyfriend.
Those four months with you,
Gotta admit, you did a number on me
And I guess I should’ve seen it coming this time
But I’ve recalled how to live without you
So rest assured, I’m doing just fine
I wish hindsight came before foresight
I was not the only flame beating
I had another which gave me warmth
We grew from each other yet became distant
I grew faint and dim, I couldn't keep living like this
The other vanished frommy life and I felt cold
2016 started out rough
I thought it sucked just like everyone else
Then you came into my life
Like a bright fire fly
I though my luck had changed
My parents always warned me about the drugs on the street
Never once did they warn me about the ones with brown eyes and can say,
“I love you.”
I know that you don't really care,but I'm here so you should deal with it.Just because you're avoiding my eyesdoesn't mean that I'll disappear.Just because you pretend that it doesn't hurt
We floated down an endless ocean together from the beginning of our time
My hand placed in yours and your hand gripping onto mine
i feel like a shell;
a phrase which doesn’t suggest
i feel hollow.
a shell protects whats inside,
but that isn’t to say that
It had to be a fucking honda
The #1 car in townThose backseatsThose marks on meThat's where it all went down
I wish I was harsh
like the denial letter from a school.
I wish I was bitter
like a friend scorned.
I wish I could sting
even just half as bad as that whiskey you constantly down.
I wish I was rough
Pencil shavings became a sign of accomplishments
A’s became common
Teachers became leaders
School became a creative space.
Glances became kisses
Smoke cascades like soft grey velvet,
past cracked lips that slowly release the worries of the world,
Kill yourself a little bit every day,
because that's better than living long enough to think about you,
"...Half asleep, I hear a light rustle outside my window then a sunk on the right side of my bed. You lightly shook me and smiled. As always, conversation turns into an argument.
A shitty run down turqousie chevy,
with a dented silver door on the left hand side,
crawling from the passengers side to yours,
sitting in the lap of a past lover,
You’re everywhere,
No matter where I’m at I can feel your stare,
Following me like my shadow, your eyes trace my every move,
I do not know the reason, or what it is that you’re trying to prove,
I can't sleep knowing that I'm not the one you're dreaming about.
Or that maybe you're as hurt as me and you're still up, drowning your sorrows in a Harley Quinn shot glass or hiding them in a haze of green
I cannot grasp enough breath to express a single word from my mouth.
I can feel my heart beating like a drum with a rhyme that can’t find a pattern and I can't feel the pulse drags through my heart, body and heart again.
Why do î have to be the one to feel?
Feel all the pain that you wasnt their before
Why is it that no matter what
î get hurt
And i spend my nights crying
Do you even care
Do you have a heart
How could you
how could you love me
and then leave me
how could you tell me
we were forever
and then cut me off
like a sensless piece of string
hanging off of your beautiful body
it is different and it is not the same,
because when music happens with you,
the notes create stair steps up to places
in the sky
i have never been before.
breathe out.
i need a language with more
synonyms for love
that do not strike my ears
like a slap or a secondhand
sigh,
drunk or sober it was always you
there is a lonely hum in my brain where your name used to be
i will drown myself to silence in
it if i do not get some peace and quiet soon
one hit
a bottle of jack
i cannot breathe
but my bones are laughing.
my lungs struggle to keep up
with my racing thoughts.
they told me to rise
with dawn,
but i fade
with every daybreak.
maybe some are meant to live
in darkness because
shooting stars can only
I saw the stars in your eyes--and I also watched them burn out.
You showed me a whole other universe, and I got lost in it.
This is the the letter that I'll never send.
Dear Ex,
You stole my heart with just one look.
You broke my heart with just one word.
And you fixed my heart with just one kiss.
When you broke up with me and you said you needed space i was fine with it
Because i thought you meant it in a normal way
Rather than applying for a job at NASA.
You were my Joker,I was your Harley,We kicked it together,Being chased by that stupid Bats on our date nights.
You weren't just a moment
or a space In time that I will soon forget
You weren't just a "Fuck it, I'll move on"
You were a waterfall of tears in the backseat of my sister truck
You promised me
Wonderful, glorious things.
You promised me
A white house,
With not-blue shutters,
A pond out front,
And horses in the back
You promised me
Cold crisp air slicing my lungs with every breath
Socks wet from the soggy ground,
Feet aching, becoming numb
Everything shivers with cold
January hurts
Its been 5 months since I walked out that door.
Sobbing my eyes out and screaming on the floor.
Wishing you’d come back and un-break my fragile heart.
4.24.16
Pretty girl in a dress walking by the pool.
I watched him as his eyes watched
her every move.
Invisible I felt, for the one I loved was
admiring another.
3.30.16
He stole my golden halo and clipped
my white feathered wings.
Perhaps he's merely a lost boy who
needed them more than me.
He claimed I was part devil who
4.07.16
He left me in March
buried beneath the dirt.
The showers poured in April
and cleaned away the hurt.
I will blossom in May,
for this is my rebirth.
The smell of the fresh April air
Reminds me of this time, last year
The day seemed fair
But suddenly became my worst fear
I never meant what was said
A week before this
Since you left I have changed.
I feel like crying over every little thing,
I swallow tears when I drop a book
I haven’t said much to my friends lately
Dancing through life.
Always on the look for the one with the steps to match mine.
I thought I had found her.
We met, and nothing was the same.
She taught me new moves in the rain and it was beautiful.
You stepped out of love with me, baby
as I tumbled out of love with myself, baby
as you tried to claw the pills from my shaky
You and I were like fire and gasoline,
each time we saw each other, you inflamed me
my mind, my soul, my heart was alive
but then the depression hit me and I was just trying to survive.
"Why are you crying," he asked, as she splayed out on the ground.
"I never saw this coming, I always thought he would be around."
"Believe in yourself, child, that is all that you need.
you are the reason the ancients worshiped the sky.someone so beautiful could not have come from the dirt of the Earth,you were born in the aftermath of a supernova. you have galaxies blooming inside of you
Hand me a pair of scissors
I’ll cut the steel ropes
That led straight to your heart
At least I’ll try
If only I could get closer to you
That end of the rope is the thinnest
Ever wondered what it felt like to be loved by your crush?
Of course everyone does.
I have been down this road once.
It broke my heart multiple times.
He came, he went.
I stayed, and stayed.
“I knew something was wrong with us”These words have been haunting me You knew?Does that mean you feel that way?Something was?Is there something still?Wrong with us?
And that day I went to bed
but I never slept
because I could never sleep
without the part of me you kept
Could you ever get it through your head that the love I have for you was realIt wasn't something that just magically appeared and knowing that the love I use to have for you is gone is what brings me to so many tears I can't help but to cry a pudd
With our telescope we stole looks at the stars,
sliding on pine needles stabbing softly into our backs
but it was the night that stole us.
i always wanted you to call me "princess",
but i was too afraid to ask-
and now you call her "princess",
and you don't call me back.
so dress her in your finest-
make her pretty in pink,
It has always struck me as odd,
the idea that “loving you” and “losing you”
are only one letter apart.
This small difference is proved
I am nothing withoutBut everything withAnd if I knew nothing aboutI only wish it were a myth
"Why do you love me?" I ask.You reply with many reasons,some of which being how When I talk about my favorite book,I always obsess over the characters and my eyes take on a whole new formas big as dinner platesand they sparkle like the fourth of
Dear First Crush,
I dreamt about you once.
I was there and of course
you were there, and
we live out our entire lives
while I slept.
In reality,
my dream came true
We were like a summer suntan.
It took time to create but once it was there
Man, it was beautiful.
We had it all.
We were the romance of movies.
It was quick and easy
I often spend many a sleepless night,
Wondering if I could make things right.
I know of your hatred of me,
I know I said I thought you were the moon
but right now you are shining
as the sun
I cannot sleep because you are there
My eyes closed you still burn through
The lids and layers of my skin crawling fears
I waited...and I waited
But I never got that phone callThe one that I have been waiting for all dayJust to hear your voiceTo hear the reason why
I look down and see your name on my phone
but I won't stop because
I'm almost home.
But little did I know when I got there
the house would be full of nothing but despair.
I'm alone, by myself just sitting here,at this time of the day her voice was all I would hear,her head laying down on my chest,her bright smile shining like a brand new vest. And I ask myself,how could this happen,why are we ignoring eachother lik
I'm sorry
You cared so much
And I thought I did too
Now I miss your sweet touch
Though I was the one who left you
You weren't perfect
But nor am I
You dont want it to be real, a broken heart... its crazy.... almost unreal.... that pain.... you forget untill your reminded.... of what its like to love and lost....
...its bittersweet, really...
That old blue trash canstill sat in the cornerby the doorlaughing at you
just go away he said in oh, so many wordsin oh, too many actions
flesh crawlinghope fadingheart breaking
When I feel
the bass guitar
thrumming long strokes
inside my chest,
swimming backwards
along my spine,
it reminds me
I am alive.
When I allow
the tinny audio
evergreen forest
and blue wintry eyes
vines that consume
every fear, every lie
a five-petaled flower
adrift on a tear
the love song hangs unspoken, there for you
to steal from my lips as you stole my heart.
and now there’s nothing that I would not do:
I’d barter, kill, and for your love I’d starve.
You said you loved me
From the first day that we were together
You said you cared for me
And that you would forever.
Those nights we talked
I said go away
When I needed you to stay
But there’s hurting in my heart
When we were together and especially now that we are apart
I told you to go
True loveThere's a man who woke up one dayHe found a letter where his true love once laidit's been 2 years since she walked offto where, he has no thoughthe keeps the letter in his hand
It was one of those moments that I'd never forget
Excitement buzzed between everyone that night
You were a new high school graduate
We sat in your car to go to your graduation party
should I be angry at you
angry because you hardly hugged me
because you raised your voice
bcause you never posted pictures of me but you do it for her
because you made me cry
because you pretended to love me
You said you really loved me true
but when i got sad
you ran and never looked back
Regret never tasted so sweetas when learning to regret not meetingsooner in love, sooner in life.
He lights a cigarette.
He lights it and inhales its toxin.
He looks at me with eyes that’s full of pain.
He inhales his way to death and tells me that I’m the one he would’ve died for.
The horizon is wherethe sun caresses the bayin the final momentsbefore the world turns grey.What a tragic affair;not being able to stay,then distress in agony hence
What’s worst about this whole ordeal
Is not that you are gone,
Nor that the words you said to me
Were just to put me on,
But really that your parting voice
Did quiver in its tone –
I don't know what to do anymore,
I've tried so hard to save us,
I've given you everything I have,
I'm all yours,
But are you all mine,
I can feel us drifting,
Your emerald eyes at first set me ablaze,
Your beauty was so delicately sweet.
But I forgot the game the Devil plays
And now I’m but an ember in my heat.
Not viper sending poison through the veins
Dreams are just DreamsUntil you make them soarA Wish is just a WishUntil you fight to make it happen
I’m falling to pieces
From these full-moon musings
I kept a journal
Stayed up all night
You promised one day
But I wanted forever
Save your sorries
I don't know what color his eyes are.
I know that they're somewhere between
blue and green and gray
but I cannot say exactly
I have memorized every detail of him.
I could map out his chest and
You set a fire in me
But you didn't do it for me, you did it for yourself
I burned bright and warm for you
I let the fire consume me
But like all fires I burned out so you left.
If you break my heart, I will rip you up and apart.
You painted me a picture. You made art.
Like light, you disappear when it's dark,
And our goodbye has left an ugly scar.
You tell me that you love me.
Why don't you stop with these lies?
You tell me you don't want to hurt me.
If that's so, why, why?
Why would you break my heart?
Our relationship was a fairytale
It was perfect
On the outside
It may have crashed and burned in the end
But maybe it is a happy ending
But I don't know just how yet
Love is patient, love is kind,
As Paul so eloquently wrote
But love is fast, love is temporary,
It can end as quickly as an eighth note
Heartbreak sucks
It’s easy to see
Your vodka tongue
So toxic, so young
Slithers its way into my thoughts
Hides my fears
Gives me ten shots
Of pure toxic lust
And I get lost, so lost
In your pierced blue eyes
She was a willow
bending, a tearful beauty
rooted and serene
He was the lightning,
much too bright for his own good
strong and destructive
You see, the problem is I have treated you as if you are the sun. And you are not the sun. My life does not depend on you, you are not in any way crucial to my survival.
I miss you.
I miss the way our snugged faces touched, our eyesight would soften.
"Look me in my eyes and tell me you don't want this to end."
Forever and ever
Love ballads written proclaiming my undying love
Months of long, late night calls.
Forever and ever
Turned upside down
So fast.
My head is still spinning.
There's a burning in my chest
And I can't tell whether my heart is on fire, set alight by the rush of energy transferred when he placed his hand on mine for the last time
He says, "don't you love me?"
I say, "I don't know,"
I thought so at first,
But now that we've grown,
People will change,
For bad or for worse,
But growing apart,
Now that always hurts,
everything.
Everything.
EVERYTHING.
EVERY. THING.
EVER. THING
EVERTHING
Everthing
everthing
verting
averting
averting eyes
verting.
verting.
erting.
Here I sit all alone
No one to talk to
No one to relate to
Wishing that one day I won't have to feel sad
One day, maybe I'll find someone to love me
Or just maybe be alone forever.
A stab in the heart from the blade you called love
You said sweet things to my face then turn around and switched up
Whats real & whats fake? In this time I couldn't tell
I have a healthy fear of lying
To myself and those around me
Often these lies
They won't die
No matter how hard I try
I just feel like I'm dying.
Birth of new born killers
high end thrillers
sparse chances, taken with unease
beans and peas,
mark disease and
players can't see me
'cause I was never on a team
in the first dream, I ever had
The stinging of my lungs as I inhale in
The smell of burning paper and fumes fill my nose
The smoke disappears before my eye, becoming one with the air around it
You've gotten fingerprints,
All over my favorite movies and songs
You were a cigarette break that felt like a for
I count minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, ye
I look into your eyes that are now so bright...
My eyes are dark, with just a flickering light.
Oh, how I miss you...
I wonder if you miss me too...
I don't understand what you see in her,
im done with you tonight
officially
you are now in my past
and i will no longer regret the time i wasted spent
remembering you
and hoping youd remember me too.
Is the life that I'm living truly mine?
Am I dreaming or awake?
Dead or alive?
Sometimes I cannot even
tell, because I'm under love's spell.
Love's spell, a thing, noun
a spell that
Within my heart lay a gap that I cannot fill
A gash within my emotions that lay unhealed
This wound inflicted bleeds deep within me
This stream of emotions wil never heed
A cloud of thoughts loom in my mind
I flinch.
False consensus effect strikes again.
I'm not afraid of your touch. Fear has no position on the playing field.
you recoil, my body like a stovetop to the touch.
i guess i knew i would shatter
if i let myself fall for you as hard as i did.
but i did not expect microscopic shards of myself
to fly through the atmosphere and land miles apart.
when he spotted the abandoned clothesline he knew it would be
a safe place to hang his drenched fabrics to dry
(safety was always his priority; practical thinkers are
When I was youngI would sit silently in my seatAwait my turn to speak whether it was given to me or notAnd more often than notI said nothing
The little things you say
The tone of your voice when you say it
Even though you are no longer my concern
You're all that's ran through her mind,
overthinking and lack of sleep,
What was it about you that captivated her?
Why was she in so deep?
Two years ago she was different,
I want to kiss you.
I want you to tell me it’s okay.
I want you to say what you’re thinking.
I want to push you off a train as it’s speeding over a bridge with a hundred-foot drop.
The layers of tears that I've cried have stung my eyes to that point of where seeing just becomes painful. I don't want to give up. But I'm being forced to give up. Or am I? No, this whole situation is fucking bullshit.
I'm hurting so bad...
She doesn't know
Cause she's glad
I'm not in her show,
I meant life,
But its the same
I want a knife
No more of the shame
Tears don't mean sad or pain,
Isn't even flow from wounded heart...
Tears are way to express joy and sad...
Emotion charged when fervently warmed...
In Very sad or Ecstatic joy,
They say nothing lasts forever.
Now I know to this you'll disagree.
You may say we'll last forever,
but forever is what we'll never be.
What would you do,
if I said we won't last forever?
The pounding in my head won’t go away
The rush, the high, flying
None of it will go away
The rush, the rush, it’s supposed to end
The night over, the day breaking
--but fuck that why end it early?
I am a woman behind a curtain,
and that's something that I find difficult to accept.
Keeping lies, and secrets, I seem to always let
them take advantage of every part of me
my heart, my lips, my eyes.
Curled in a ball sadness punching me in the throat like a bad street fightI consider why do I resort to this same position this same state of mindpainful sadness like heroin withdrawals
I remember
your face
on which there was
pain and disbelief
distorting your features
beyond recognition
when I saw you
for the last time.
Forgive me
For I caused your eyes
I’m
Broken up inside and I
Can’t tell you what’s
Wrong but I will
Try to let you see.
You’d
Hate me so much because I’m
Not what you dreamed and I
Am so sorry but you
Walking away from this pain,
Leaving it behind,
To try and see,
A new light.
I fight my way through your
Loquacious verbiage
And open facade
Of a closed door,
Searching for entry
To your ego
I give respect for your walls
And take care
To walk around,
Caught off gaurd her laugh made me stop, and pause, sadness surfaced from deep within my chest,
slowly I turned to look, dissapointed I didn't find you there, I carried on
Forgive me for always wanting to be in love,
I know it sounds dumb and stupid.
But I rather be in love and feel it’s warmth then hurt from the outcome
Of its winter cold.
Do not love a boy who will not read your poetry.
If you pour your heart into ink and paperAnd he refuses to read, he is not right for you.
You are a freshman in high school.
He is a senior.
A million stars up in the sky
one shines brighter I can't deny
A love so precious a love so true
a love that comes from me to you
The angels sing when you are near
within your arms I have nothing to fear
I loathe your addiction to cigarettesand the women you go to seebecause one is killing you
In this strange tangled mess I left us in, I found love. Or rather, I think I did.
I thought I loved you. I define Love as giving anything for the betterment of another human being.
I have something of yours
I know it's been awhile,
but better late than never, right?
That's why I'm at your door.
Not for you,
but for me
to move on.
I cannot carry them for you anymore.
The moment I met you,
My soul knew to stay away from you,
For it knew you'd be the death of me.
Of course, my heart felt what it did
And I suffered the tragic consequence.
...We should probably stop speaking because I don't know who you are anymore and my mother always told me not to talk to strangers...
When I look backAt our time togetherI realize what we hadI took too lightly, like a feather.
The fun, the laughs,The smiles, your kiss-These are thingsYou can't expect me not to miss.
There's regret and remorse then trying to forget and move foward, but all of this time I'm thinking...
Eventually it gets old
You get tired of arguing just to have a conversation
Your throat is still sore from yelling at the top of your lungs just to make sure your voice is heard
When skies were always of a blue
In times when I knew love was in me,
When I was young and filled with joy,
The world seemed beautiful and good,
I loved a girl, and she loved me,
First impression
Seems to be the best
But why do I find it
So hard to rest
Late night thoughts
On my mind
Its those same thoughts
That take all the time
Is time running out
The worst part is not knowing why.
Was it he or I who did not try?
Was it my height, my personality?
Or was our relationship just a formality.
Were we in love with the idea of us,
but never eachother?
Sometimes I dream she’s dead,
Blood flowing from her head,
I wish I did it,
One thrash head hit,
Strung from a noose,
Tied so tight, she’d never get loose,
A smothering pillow over he head,
1
Roses are red
Violets are blue
your curtins are opend
and im watching you
2
Twinkle Twinkle little star
i want to hit you with my car
How many times have I fallen,
Only to fall apon the floor.
How many times have I given my heart,
Only to have someone slam the door.
My heart now covered in scars,
Has grown tougher then is has ever been.
Your back
was my view
when people saw me
it was you.
I could sit here and
blame you
for hiding me,
but I’d be kidding myself.
I loved the association.
I felt like I needed
I guess I didn't know how to love
myself.
The things you said you saw...
I always did think you were delusional.
For I am not beautiful,
I am not worthy of
Want.
His eyes were an icy sea,
glistening brightly,
always welcoming.
His eyes were always filled with excitment,
always filled with happiness,
and I couldn't help wondering how I could do that.
I imagine Life after death where we all reach enteral bliss
Death is scary but the only reason I accept it is because this can't be why we live
I pray god made his kingdom just for us
I have galaxies growing inside me.
I move on like light speed
You are nothing more than
A fleeting star blinking out.
The pain you think you caused is gone
Down a black hole never to be seen again.
I've been granted a garden
but I'm picking petals
off flowers you never gave me
to place on my face
so whenI see you at Walgreens
you won't be able to tell how red I'll be.
Did you ever think about how lying is just another way of telling someone they’re not worth the truth?
The intensity of every beat of my heart
electrifies when we depart.
You have been gone for so many years
over this time I shed so many tears.
This emptinessI feel in my chest
I’ve been described as free, a description that stayed with me because I can’t be tied
down, what’s the point. What’s the point to be an equal in society, I want to dance
My experience with love is
painful
unforgettable
betrayal
Eight months making
memories
moments
music
Proving people wrong with clashing
thoughts
personalities
'Twas but an hour,
the brighest hour,
the simplest,
livliest
moment.
Out like a flame,
Out was my security,
out was my thirst
for life.
And I hated you
Games of the heart are not easily won.
Is there victory when the battle is done?
Loss of blood will occur on both sides.
My heart swells when I read something that reminds me of you.
I've kissed so many boys that my lips have turned blue.
But I can not stop imagining what it would be like to kiss you.
This red rose has turned black and it won't turn back,
Hard as the stone that was carried on the cave mans back,
Cold as the night that shoots its vicious snow,
Shooting through my heart like bullets,
You gave me your heart
without blinking once.
I took it passively
And I suppose I have
A screwed responsibility
to keep it beating.
But I'm falling,
falling off a cliff.
it's not that i'm afraid of my mind,
i’m afraid of what takes hold when i’m alone.
the thoughts. they fight for their freedom.
battle against the teeth that are their cells.
I just wanna go back
Cause I feel like I’m in a trap
I swear it felt like a heart attack
Like I fell off track
I once had someone tell me that if you're lying awake at four am you're either in love or lonely, and let me tell you that's not the case because as I lie here all I can feel is the poison you've created coursing through my veins.
I never wanted to write this poem. But I have to because when I look at you, I see someone I don’t know. When you look at me, your eyes are dead. You used to have this spark, this twinkling flame in you.
We broke up two months ago
Had a fight haven't talked since
But I swear
I can still feel your kiss
Like it's tattooed on my lips.
Perhaps you can see,
How perfect you are for me,
Even though you are taken.
You’re one of a kind,
Although to me you are blind,
It is obvious how much you love her.
Is it not enough for you that you've ripped my heart out already.
You fucking broke it and now you have to step on every single one of the pieces too?
Was it never enough for you to just know that I loved you?
Helen Fisher says it is not an emotion.
It is a need,
It is a hunger,
It is air.
And yet so pathetic it seems,
That such a sore which cannot be seen,
Can possibly still be there.
Forever trusting no one,
and maybe you were right.
They came around to change that.
The cause of every fight.
Fighting in waves crashing on the shore.
The ones we pace across endlessly.
Allow yourself to grieve
Discover the way his name sounds when spoken from a throat tight with tears
How it sounds thrown against the wall, shattering
Empty Rooms filled with--interrupting lightMissing floorboardsMissing stairsHungry CupboardsVacant VasesEverythingis Nowhere.No Roof
The words spilled out of me
Like exhaust spews from
An old worn-out car.
“I do love you”
Was all I said
And yet I felt as if
I just played some type-of
Disturbed violin through my body.
Faded kissesKisses fadeOr rather vanish as it sits behind big ass lust in the shade,When we first kissedI knew it was going to be "it is what it is"Type of relationshipBut I let my feelings fall
Different.
That's what they say it will be.
Different is like how doctors say you will feel a little pressure,
when really it's pain.
Your hands came up empty
Your heart became dry
When everything was set to be done.
Everything that was once love became fear
Now here I lay alone
My body grows heavy but not enough to fall asleep
this passion for you
melted into these meaningless words on a page no one will read
and the hours and minutes i spend bleeding these feelings and dead smiles
You held me
You held me when I was strong
You held me
You looked at my face and told me how beautiful my smile was
These tears show pain, deep within is our anger too. If I cant stop this river, it'll overflow too. Maybe she'll come back, maybe fall in love too. Or maybe she'll run, from our love and us too. The love of our life, what did we lead to?
In a moment of walking around in the night, trialing on the floor we speak sweet nothings
He is tasting every savory wordWith a clenching jawIf he doesn’t lower his voice the barista will noticeAnd the inky hipsters drinking their black coffeesWill become our audience
I get into the car and you begin to drive
The only thing we share on our journey is
Silence
It smothers our words
Chokes our voices
Louder than anything that could be spoken
I TOLD THE LADY WITH THE SCISSORS TO CUT OFF ALL OF MY DEAD ENDS AND I GUESS I FORGOT TO CLARIFY THAT I WAS REFERRING TO MY HAIR BECAUSE BEFORE I KNEW IT SHE RIPPED OPEN MY CHEST AND SNIPPED OFF THE PAR
Remember the first time?
I was devistated.
I was lost in a cloud of dispair,
And Darkness.
It tore my world apart.
Remember the fifth time?
I was hurt, but used to the pain.
He's not worth my love,
He's not worth my feelings.
He's not worth my pain,
And me getting upset over things.
He's not worth my thoughts,
He's relevant no longer.
He's not worth my sadness
Thanks for showing me that I don't fucking need you,
That I should not have been so naive
I should of known you can change your mind whenever you wanted
That the sweet words you said were just to get you by
What If I was enough
For you to want to see my smile once more
What If I was enough
For you to come back through the door
It's not your dinner dates I miss
It's the way we smiled in between our kiss
Cool autumn day spent
Sun setting
Sick with regret.
Disintegrating will
In overwhelming quiet
Departure inevitable
Pressing together
Embracing the future, skeptical
1. You got out of jail on Sunday.
The sudden realization that you weren't just a bad dream
Cracks my eyes open, makes them bleed
I was Alice falling through the rabbit hole
all i have is this yellow chair.
it's dusty and chipped, and from god-knows-where.
it was sitting in a pile of your shit.
i think i stole it from you when we split.
The heart beats like a thousand drums
When in the face of inquiry to another
A yearning soul heard over melodious hums
I feel stronger now that you're gone
sometimes I wonder if you think of me when you're alone
I'll admit I've missed you
but my grey skys are finally turning blue
I drive by your house sometimes
ill always remember our first kiss, thinking nothing could be better than this.
ill always remember the spark i felt from your touch, and i knew i was falling way to much.
The rain began in my brain,
Its lightning strikes my heart.
Its torrential downpour
Takes sight away,
Tunnel vision
I no longer like to look back,
feels like broken bones
and broken glass,
tastes like the final hit
when the remains are ash,
smells like old books,
rotting houses and burning cash.
Lift me from the abyss I have plummeted.
I'm falling and I've lost my rope.
Take away my agony as I begin to choke.
What I thought was water was really glass.
You told me we were something and that at some point, miles would mean nothing, that you would always be there to hold me up when everything else fell apart
You had the balls to tell me you loved me
I hit you up on the phone.
For once you're alone.
Invite you to the parade,
despite our world being gray.
Have you wrapped around my finger,
except I don't.
You came into my life when I least expected it.Next thing I knew, we were together, and I was truly amazed by it.You made me feel alive, like if nothing else mattered.You never failed to make me feel loved and flattered.
The week before you left
You bought a pack of eight sub rolls
Like you thought you’d be able to eat eight sandwiches before you got tired of me
But you only managed to have five of them
And now
He’s got the kind of name that sounds good no matter what you pair it with
He’s got the kind of fingertips that are maybe a little too soft
Life's too short
To be wondering why I'm stuck with you.
Life's too short
To hold on though I can't break through.
You ego is a barrier thicker than any wall.
I guess you'll never hear me call
I remember when I placed my hand on your cheek
And planted one kiss on your forehead
Reassuring you that everything was going to be alright
And when a smiled, I felt that the world was warm
We're here again
Two sides of the playing field
No longer able to feel your warmth
Just left to wallow in my memories
I can't say I’m surprised
Always knew it would happen
But it hurts
By: Darlyn C. Lojero
one minute, you are looking up at the sky
admiring those tiny specks you called distant fire
another minute, and you see none
There's a new girl in townShe's here to take my placeI didn't expect things to turn so fastso if you don't mind tell her steady her pace
You never really listened to a word I said
All of it just got lost in your head
You say I’m something you can’t comprehend
But all I’ve done is bend
Over backwards for you
And your issue
This day is drawing to a close, the night is coming near,
And somewhere out there stars light up, illuminate my fear.
It takes a dense, steel wrecking ball to break through love’s embrace,
I hated
Your big blue eyes when they looked up at me
My heart would suddenly fluster
Words would be stuck
It doesn't matter what you say,
It doesn't matter what you call me,
I will continue on.
You can't control me,
and I don't need you,
I will continue on.
You're through with me?
I'm just scared one day you'll find this too stressful.
Turn back to the old you and being resentful .
Nothings easy when you talking bout unifying two .
Especially when it comes to everything being new.
August 9:
I was undiagnosed mixed stateit’s in the new DSM, a form of bipolar and I called the suicide hotlineI was going to drive my car until I ran out of gas and kill myself
That song comes on the radio, once meaningful but now makes you want to cry,You see all the memories flood back into your mind's eye, You can't rip the cords out that you keep hearing in your mind,You wish that you could change it because you know
Rules.
Are meant to be broken.
Promises.
Are meant to be kept.
Secrets.
Are meant to be told.
Friendships.
Are meant for you to hold.
Relationships.
Aren't always perfect.
My heart is very sensitive.
It deserves to take a rest,
Once in a while.
You break, you buy it.
But then remember to also fix it.
You don’t understand.
You don’t try to.
You don’t want to.
You can’t.
You won’t.
Why should you?
What am I?
An experiment?
Or shall I say a daughter?
You say you're fine
I know you're not
You say you don't cry
I know you do
You act as if you aren't sad
everyone knows you are.
I didn't do this to hurt you.
I didn't do this to cause you pain.
Love that was thought to be everlasting,
Breaking right down the seam.
Days keep on passing
While life still feels like a dream.
The lovers that thought love was true,
My heartbeat is frozen
I to you is forgotten
The love is cold now, and dead
But you are stuck like ice in my head
I'm cursed
I stumbled upon you by pure coincidence,yet, I believe in that momnet you devoured my soul.You were the answer to all of my hopes and prayers,another half to make my heart whole.
My heart will always want you
In my world its only you
My mind is mixed and you know it
In my thoughts you are always in it
Youre the reason for it all
And to be with you again Id have to give it all
Talk to me, please
Put my mind at ease
You claim to lack the time of day
But we both know those are mere words astray
I yearn to know; what is it really?
I'm eager to ask, but is it silly?
What have you been up to?
On the other hand, a whole lot here.
I just can’t seem to get over you.
You used to tell me you loved me,
One day done
another to be found
let this one be gone forever
from the minds of those around
let them see the despair and troubles
let them see me fumble over
lying flat against the wall
Sitting, staring at the wallsWhy am I the one who always falls?In the mirror across the room I seeMy bloodshot eyes staring back at meMy eyes skim over my too pale cheeksAnd see the tears plus all their streaks
The pain I always hide,
I just keep it bundled up,
I wont let it show,
I wont take much more,
But I can not let him go,
And all these things I say,
Im just lying here,
10 digits to never call again
To never text
To never press send
10 less headaches
10 less tears shed
10 digits not to think about lying in bed
10 less arguments
Yeah, 10 less laughes
I turn in a circle and danceI won't even offer the past a second glanceWho needs you?I can make do!
When it broke apartNothing weighed heavyNot even my heart
I hope you keep your door open
I'll hope you continue hoping
That life is so much more than this
You will see this ain't a goodbye
Since I'm telling you from now
That I'll never, never forget you
I got a call about you yesterday,
I guess someone saw you driving in your beat-up truck
The one with the ripped up seats and unused ketchup packets
What happened to college? It started a month ago
I'm lost in all our sweet sorrow
You're so afraid that we'll end to be nothing
But darling everything we have we borrow
And your fear is like a reflective madness
We pretend our hearts are soaring
I lay under the sea of giants, standing tall and free,
Tilt and see a mural of brown, red, yellow, and green.
The overwhelming of colors I feel all mixed inside of me,
Time will not fix it
I promise you that
No amount of time
Will bring it all back
Time cannot help you
It's not something you can take
It's not chemically designed
You haven't talked to me in weeks
And I'm damn sure it's my fault or another
As I watch the sky stratify
Into blues from cerulean to robin's egg
And the people I pass are just shades in a jaded life.
Burn my name from your heart
And forget me, like I was never there
Melt my tears that froze on your cheek
On that winter day I cried for you
With eyes like fire and words sharp as ice
a fight,starts slow,anger ignites it,screams,anything to say what we mean,settles,then ignites again,the words spill out,the worst thing you've ever said,it hits her like a ton of bricks,you win,she cres,you try to apoligize,yet she still cries,sh
You were my rockBut I found you too stable,Immobile, grounding, so IShattered you -A man broken into thirty-three pieces,Mere pebbles of the boulder you were.
It's hard to follow the changes in you
people around you affecting your moves
look back and miss what you used to be
you lost what you needed- unintentionally.
I'm sorry to mess up all that we were
You think you can control me.
You try and make me something I'm not.
Try and hide my true selfso I can act acceptable,polite, perfect, like a puppet.
Don't pull on my strings.
We all begin as strangers
no matter the connection we feel
instantaneous
or slow burning
we start out as strangers
foreign to each other
Our bodies
are lands we have never seen
We met in the forestDrawn by the song of theMocking birdAnd light of the moonYou called me lion girlYour fingers running through my hairI called you star boyMy lips on your freckles
It could have been the dark blue sky, time of the day
or the despair.
These thoughts hit me like an arrow
to the head.
Be calm and hopeful,
please love yourself.
You're your worst nightmare,
Getting reconnected with an ex girlfriend could mean nothing
but to my boyfriend it meant throwing everything we had built up away.
He seemed so in love, so devoted to me and the feeling was mutual
It’s all gone.
You took everything from me.
(Or did I take everything myself)
My family, my friends… They slipped away.
Vanished.
Under your mind games. You cost me my life.
My future.
You still haunt me
As much as I try to pretend
You still have a hold on me
Your smile
Your hair
Your face
Your body
Your soul
It lingers
Close and still to my heart
She really thought it was real this time
She was stubborn that this time, this time he was the one
So she danced with words on her tongue
And made him feel like a prince
Depressed.
Sitting.
Cut-off.
I can feel the water
go down all the
way to my belly.
Not eating.
Eating shit.
Sitting.
Dreary anticipation.
Will my babe
forgive me?
You say you’re invested but you look far from interested
You say you care, but your presence is never there
For you I am a matter of convenience
But you consume my entire existence
I'm lost.
But I remember you.
"I'll give up everything.
I love you."
These words were meant for you.
I needed the fire burning in your eyes.
Otherwise I'd be unable to see
I lay in bed thinking of you once again
It's like you're filling up my mind
With dangerously deadly mines
You've implanted in my brain
You could feel the pain
In his spoken words
Every word hurt more than the one before
He got so close to tears
Ready to disappear
I have wasted precious paper figuring you out
And I know you know just exactly what that's like
I'm sure you'll never spare a word for me
But I would expect you've got much better things clouding your mind
I'm sorry that I am not strong enough to hate you.
You have given me every reason
To walk away,
To be destroyed,
But I've never been one
For playing the victim.
I remember sitting in the theater,
my leg pressed tightly to yours.
Hand in hand, palms sweating,
You said my touch was electric
and we became addicted to the feeling
like the nicotine on your lips.
Sparks had caught,
Heavy love arose,
Time traveled away,
A rift then grows.
Flames lick the corridors
of my soul,
Warming me up,
Then burning me whole.
How could You?
Maybe it was all in my head,
believing we were different,
that'd we last longer.
I see the way You look at her,
it crushes me to watch.
It's not me you watch.
When I think about you
All I see is darkness
And the pain inside that took over me.
It was all good in the beginning
But when it came down to the middle of it all
It was a blur of confusion.
The rods are all broken
The curtains are torn
The windows are cracked
The floorboards are worn
So much time wasted
Cleaning out dust
You marched in with mud
Hate and mistrust
A beast.
I was strong, fast, unbeatable,
Red eyes, hot breath,
Power flowing like blood.
You were my pet,
Your only purpose was to make me
Happy.
And when you failed
(poems go here)Things come and go,
We sit and stare out the window.
Thinking what we’ll miss,
And would it be different if we hadn’t kiss.
One day there, here, and the next gone,
This is exactly whatI didn't want to happenYou and me, fightingI guess I knew, deep down insideWe'd end in flamesNot that I want that,But that's were we're headedUnless we can do something
I remember the look in your eyes
At the beginning of summer, and
Way your lips were sweet like strawberries
When we first kissed beneath the moonlit
Night sky. But now those strawberries have
I miss you,
I want you,
I need you,
I love you.
4 different things,
All said to keep me around,
None will work,
Not anymore.
when he tells you that he no longer loves you don’t cry (the tears are already coming)breathe in (small fluttering breaths)breathe out (gasping for air)and just listen
When lust is greater than love
When hurt is too much to heal
It’s hard to stay in love,
When there’s nothing left to feel.
When the pain of holding on
Defeats the fear of letting go
It might be very true that I’m an afterthought
A ghost whose essence fades like pallid morning motes
of dust that dance on rays cast through the windowsill
we're getting farther everyday your gone
and I need your touch upon my skin
for that pulse that drives me
my little brother is becoming that guy
that I dated in high school
the one that loved me until the next
pretty girl came along
the boy that called me beautiful
in the same breath he used to
What we had is nothing but a memory now
And that is all it will ever be from now on
She calls me up
This absolutely gorgeous girl
And says to me,
“Tell me happy things.”
So I tell her about fresh grass on sunny days when everything is dewy and damp and bright
Words began slipping from the creases of your mouth.
I tried stopping them,
Catching them with my bare hands,
But I couldn't stop them.
I never could control you.
I said I couldn’t live without you but
you left me yesterday and I survived.
You’ll come to me tomorrow but I’ll shut
my eyes to shut yours out. You’re gone. I’m alive.
You’ll park the car, reach for my hand, and say
I stepped on a slug today. It made me wonder how you were doing. Leching your way across town no doubt. Filling your pockets with our disappointment. Recycling nicknames, sex games, growing pains. It's just growing up. It's a part of life.
I wrote you a letter but you never replied
And something was loosed inside of my mind
You can take a chance and call it independence
But you’ll be gone before your time
Two people in love
Such a beautiful thing.
Like the voices and laughter,
And the songs that we sing.
But you changed your mind
Like that old cliche
"It's not you, it's me,"
And you threw it away.
Do you remember
Remember me
I remember you
Every moment
Every conversation
Every smile
Every dream
Every love
Every laugh
Every little
Everything
I remember
Overrated and complicated
It’s never what is seems
Never on the same page
I gave him everything
I always tend to bite off more than I can chew
Struggling to swallow and stick it through
The meal is always pleasing to the eye
But never quite leaves me satisfied
it was the touch of your skin on mine
the way your lips moved like they knew me
as if they could have touched my darkest secret
My sorrow
Like a tidal wave of pain,
Pounding me so hard
Its difficult to stay sane.
The tumbling chaos of my soul,
Burst up and fill my eyes
And for a moment all i can see is darkness.
