Something to hold onto

I would love to tell you "take all the time you need, I'll be here"
I would really, really love to,
But I don't really know if I can.
Not like this.
Desert.
Dry.
Empty.
Lost.
Lonley.
Alone.
I can't keep on climbing this infinite mountain Without knowing were the peak is,
Without a rope.
Give me something to hold onto
At least while we get there,
Give me some hope.
It is sad that I would settle for crumbs waiting for the whole bread loaf,
But I would.
It is sad that you aren't even aware that I'm picking what I can,
But you can't.
Have I accepted the truth that you can't give me anything else for now?
Yes, I have.
You can't even give me more.
But I don't even have those crumbs.
I imagine them,
I pick them from the floor I painted in my head,
A floor where I once crashed
And I keep on falling.
I can taste them,
The taste you gave me once and never again,
Before I realized that I was crawling.
But I keep making myself believe
That if I follow those imaginary crumbs,
I'll soon find a rose petal path.
I'll soon find that active affection I can't even explain.
I'll soon find the place I want to be with you.
I'll soon find something that awakens me inside.
But that is not you, I wouldn't even expect it.
And it's not even fair asking for you to make it.
Maybe from your point of view,
You're throwing slices of bread at me.
But I can't seem to reach them,
It's never going to be enough, is it?
What a pity, what a shame
Considering how much I love you,
How much I laud you.
But I have nothing to hold onto.
So I'll fall again,
In and out of love
I'll fall again and again.

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