Getting reconnected with an ex girlfriend could mean nothing
but to my boyfriend it meant throwing everything we had built up away.
He seemed so in love, so devoted to me and the feeling was mutual
except my feelings were real.
One moment I'm a girl happily in love with her man and a text message and some tears later
I am a girl who feels like she's been betrayed at the highest level known to man.
Next came my insecurities.
Was I not pretty enough? Was I not smart enough? Was I not loving enough?
What wasn't enough for him?
I went from being so confident and sure of myself to feeling like I wasn't worth any more than dust
I wanted to be dust and simply dissapear in the first gust of wind that hit me.
I felt like I did when I was younger and I was choking
but this time, no one was there to save me and every second I came closer and closer to death
Not literally dying although I imagine the feeling to be similar.
How is it that we become so attached to someone that when they walk out of our lives it feels like a piece of us has gone with them.
He wasn't even dead
but the amount of tears said otherwise.
In the midst of my loneliness, he texted me asking if I was okay
The text itself surprised me and the context of it was ironic.
He had just broken my heart and wanted to know if I was okay with it.
I compared him to a murderer stabbing his victim and then asking them if it hurt.
He was no murderer of course
Just a thief that stole my heart.