What if they don’t pick me?
What if I am not good enough?
What if I don’t win any scholarships at all?
What if I write the worst letter they’ve seen?
Anxiety, you took over my life.
You took me from my family. You took me from my friends. You took me from love.
It was then that I said enough.
I will not be defined by you. I will be brave. I will be strong. I will no longer hide in fear. I will love freely, dream big, and live openly. I will be who I want to be. I will not let others define me. I thank you, however, for all you have taught me. I know that I am not alone in this world. I know that I am strong enough to push myself out of my comfort zone. I know that a storm cloud of a bad day will soon pass and leave a rainbow behind. I know, most of all, everything will be okay. Even when my hands start to shake and I can’t seem to catch my breath and the world starts spinning, it will all be okay. When the numbers on my page don’t add up in my head, it will be okay. When the boy decides he no longer loves me even though I am hopelessly in love with him, somehow, it will all be okay.
You came into my life as a blessing and a curse. You attacked me with panic, but know I know how to calm down. You fought with my perfectionism, but I learned to take my own learning pace. You came into my life and took away the boy I fell in love with. He didn’t understand. He saw you as a burden, a problem.
I had to get over you in order to end the bad situation with him.
He was the sacrifice for me to really see what you are.
You have saved me.
You taught me that I am strong on my own.
You taught me to wipe away the tears.
You taught me that I worry because I know that I deserve better and that I am a good person in a bad situation.
I am sorry that I did not see how you would help me blossom into the beautiful person I am now.
You’re on this long journey with me now. I hope you will teach me more wonderful things and save me from people like him. I hope you and I can help others who have not yet overcome their differences with their Anxiety. Though we sometimes fight, I love you for helping me find the strong person that was hiding inside. If I hadn’t overcome you, I could still be in a relationship where you were seen as a flaw and where you were only made worse and worse by the way he treated us. We fought through that all together, we will fight on.
Thank you, Anxiety. You make me brave.