Freedom: Redefined

Mon, 07/21/2014 - 21:23 -- kmkatz

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I'm gunna lie 
And say my room is clean
When in truth everything is as it was
Except now it's all hidden and tucked 
​In messy drawers
About to explode
 
Then I'm gunna lie
saying that I slept fine
Despite pulling an all nighter to write a report they accidentally erased
And I'm gunna lie and say I didn't mind
Then they are gunna lie and say they'll help me redo it
Meanwhile they know it's already been rewritten
 
I'm gunna lie
And say I understand all that happened from 1750 to 1900, meanwhile all I've done is mesmerize the facts and the explanation of the exploitations of all the people of all the world and the time
Then I'm gunna lie and say I know why they did it
And that they were validated due to the poor financial situation due to the war due to famine and the plague
 
I'm gunna lie
and say I love you
And you love me too
Because the truth is was we both needed to be loved at the time
And agreed at some point to love each other
 
And I'm gunna lie
Until the lies overwhelm the truth, 
Letting those waves crash down on me
Until I allow them to pull me under
and learn how much calmer it is to sink in this ocean
clear minded and free
than it is to fight the crashing storm above
 
I'm gunna lie
until the only truth
Is the amount of Time we've been together
And that's time we'll never get back
And I'm gunna lie
And say I regretted every second with you
To you
And to me
And to whomever it may concern
And you'll say the same 
And do the same
And then that will become the new truth
As we part our separate ways in days to come
In search of someone new to tell these truths to
 
I'm gunna lie
when they ask if I remember you
I'm gunna say I do
Even after my life and career take over
And things are hectic 
And terrible for a while when my kids got the flu
And I couldn't find someone to cover me for work
So I took the day off
Which meant I had to lie and say I had the flu
Which later was true
But because of those days I had to lie (I'm going to)
And say I was fine
And come in the next week
Telling everyone I was just getting over something
Meanwhile I was still dead in it
And the only thing I  was getting through
was the traffic on the Parkway at 5am and 5pm
 
I'm gunna lie
When my husband asks if I want more kids
Because I know the new job
the harder job,
would kill him
And that would kill me too 
When the truth was 
I had enough room in my heart for a million more to love
 
And I'm gunna lie
When my kids ask me who was my first love 
And if I'd ever loved another 
I'm gunna say yes, and that you could love a million people in this world,
But there's one you're gunna love more than most and you marry them
And I'm gunna keep lying to myself
And to them
Until these lies are my reality too
And I can debate gaining back my morality,
Which in my present state seems like a possibility
 
I know we are all headed down the same road 
So for now, 
Come lie with me 
In the street
Let's stop the cars from rolling by
Down this dead end 

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