Disillusioned

By: Darlyn C. Lojero

 

one minute, you are looking up at the sky

admiring those tiny specks you called distant fire

another minute, and you see none

but the drooping eyes of the gods

you failed to burn incense for

 

my beautiful, I am sorry

but I tasted the betel nut meant for your gods

and now they pulled you away

where I cannot bear look at you.

 

I did not lit them for you.

dearest, you can stop believing me now

for yesterday, when you were asleep,

I stopped living.

 

Dare do I? the heavens must've decided to take a spin.

my beautiful, have I been admiring for so long

that I did not notice?

Am I looking at something,

but seeing something else?

 

How should I know? it's already closed to noon and

here, where I stand the earth has turned red.

 

...I am still trapped

here in yesterdays' young night

counting the images you, once, pointed out-

you dont believe them, yourself

but why let me?

 

dearest,

this isnt yours

nor mine!

we sold our being

for a second or two

of what we call breathing.

 

I am hoarding silence

wreathing your name with the hero I honor in you-

the hero, I refused to let go.

You could've let me burn incense

or knot hundred year old roots

and mouth my prayers

 

-but you woke me up.

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