The path of life I walk is paved
With an unusual array
Of old regrets and incessant what ifs,
And better dreams and new days.
A life lived missing you,
And a life lived figuring out what to do.
You are still alive and well.
But every day that we don't speak
After your unfaithfulness to me,
Your girlfriend of one and a half and your friend of eight years,
You're buried in my mind another six feet deep.
I try to tell myself
I made the right decision to leave
Ans I can push yoou away
Into the darkest corner of my brain.
There you can mingle with my fears
And nothing there deserves my tears.
I've spent so many words on you.
My fingertips hit the keyboard
And this prayer hit my lips: "Lord,
Let this be the last ounce of creativity
You give me
To waste on him.
I am in debt
Let this be the twelfth step.
Then never again, never again."
You don't deserve it.