The path of life I walk is paved

With an unusual array

Of old regrets and incessant what ifs,

And better dreams and new days.

A life lived missing you,

And a life lived figuring out what to do.

You are still alive and well.

But every day that we don't speak

After your unfaithfulness to me,

Your girlfriend of one and a half and your friend of eight years,

You're buried in my mind another six feet deep.

I try to tell myself

I made the right decision to leave

Ans I can push yoou away

Into the darkest corner of my brain.

There you can mingle with my fears

And nothing there deserves my tears.

I've spent so many words on you.

My fingertips hit the keyboard

And this prayer hit my lips: "Lord,

Let this be the last ounce of creativity

You give me

To waste on him.

I am in debt

To myself—

Let this be the twelfth step.

Then never again, never again."

You don't deserve it.