All my life
I have been taught to work towards my desires-
And turn them into possessions.
And for the most part,
I have been successful.
But as I lie here on the bathroom floor
Vomiting up all the sweet nothings you fed me,
I can’t help but wonder where I went wrong.
You were the one desire that I could never get a grip on;
That I could never call my own,
That will never be reality.
And even though you never heard me,
With my lips pressed against the side of your ear,
Our bodies only 400 millimeters apart,
I’m yelling- screaming- your name
In hopes of you hearing it from 400 miles away.
Desire is no gentle creature.
It is a tide that drags its victims
Further and further out to sea,
That leaves you staring at a shore
Made of everything you’ve ever wanted.
You grow lost in it,
Just as I grew lost in your eyes;
Which is why I think that it wasn’t until I recognized,
The color of that caramel-toned sand in the distance,
That I had drowned.
Until I gripped at my everlasting strength
And pulled myself from an abyss of darkness within
Only to discover the better things of love.
I had so unfortunately not yet been exposed
To gentle words and soft expressions
And the purest of feelings.
The purest of love.