Your back

was my view

when people saw me

it was you.

I could sit here and

blame you

for hiding me,

but I’d be kidding myself.

I loved the association.

I felt like I needed

you to be whole

but there was a hole in you,

which left me empty.

I played ignorance

but you were better at it

and I refused

to acknowledge that

so I could spare some time

hiding behind you.

But time was wasted.

I will always love

you

even if you don’t

feel the same.

I could say I was used.

You could say

I abused

choice.

I would be lying

and so would you.

You lusted for it too,

making it easier for me

to stay hidden

in this “relationship”.

In a fools paradise

we turned into a paradigm

one for the other

alternated in people’s speech.

We were not one without the other.

I lost myself.

Nobody knew me.

I was scared

to be individualized

but time stood true

and I realized

standing behind you

wasn’t being with you

and you,

would never have MY back.

Standing alone

in a girl’s world

is a societal enigma,

but I had to

because you were

my escape

to fit in

and now

more simply said

than done,

I will find

Myself.