Not ready to see that face of yours again
The only thoughts I have are memories of mine pressed against yours
That so-called love we used to pass the loneliness we feel in our hearts
Not to return to the surface yet buried beneath smiles
My body has moved on; no longer yearning for your touch
My eyes have moved on; no longer searching for your face
My ears have moved on; no longer seeking your caring response
But my mind has not; always yearning, always searching, always seeking, you.
I thought I was always in control
Not of you, nor others, or the world
Now I realize I'm not in control of myself either
I thought I wasn't always sad
Not from you, nor others, or the world
Now I realize I'm not happy either
I thought I had given you enough time
Not about you, nor for you, or the world
Now I realize I'm not ready for you either
Will I ever be ready?
Will I ever be happy?
Will I ever be in control?
I. don't. know.