I’ve been described as free, a description that stayed with me because I can’t be tied

down, what’s the point. What’s the point to be an equal in society, I want to dance

in the rain, paint on the walls, and share my passion. But why did I end up being

tied down, to be criticized for my every move. I know why. I wanted to show you

what I am, but you didn’t want to see. No use in being late for things. Seeing only

your perks and not your many flaws, I saw flaws in me instead. Cause you are truly

perfect from your bald spot to your callused toes. And how could you hold me back

from my passion, even get mad at me cause by god I’d be responsible and have my

 priorities set straight. So why couldn’t I be free with you. I know why. I gave into

the what ifs. What if I changed for you, What if I gave up my friends for you and

clouded myself in your rain, what if I were selfless only to please you and

keep you happy. What if I never let you go. What if I loved you. Wait Love? Let me

think back, how can you say you love me after one date, why were you so

passionate in the beginning but never unconditional. Why did you say love when it

was only lust, to linger around me until lust came to loath. You were silent and I

was blind. You didn’t say what you had to say and I didn’t see the full spectrum. I

give into my why don’ts now.. Why don’t I be free, why don’t I do all that I want to

do, Why don’t I be selfless and find an equal who is, why don’t I just let you go and

forget all the jealousy and the rage, and why don’t I open my eyes and see you as

you really are Now. I know why… It’s because at some point of your bickering I

loved, lingered, and loathed right beside you hiding in your arms or pouring tears

on your chest only to have you push me away saying you were cold. You used to

make me cold all the time almost frozen…but now I am warm just being me.