slambehindthecurtain
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i feel in love with you
but you had no idea
who you were and still,
you loved me back anyways.
you built me sand castles
with our initials on a flag
but they fell apart too easily.
A very special treasure,
For a simplified pleasure.
He took and never gave back to me.
At the time I didn’t think of it as something so sacred,
Cinderella
She stares at a mirror, disgusted with what she sees.
There are scars upon her body, and traces of harm she receives.
As she waits for her prince, to who will he be.
I find myself dreaming.
I find myself dreaming of the warmth that engulfs me in it's significant embrace.
I find myself dreaming of you. Hand in hand and face to face.
Life
I don't know what to do when demons cloud my mind, making me feel wanted, but instead only to make me blind.
I'd want to feel nothing rather than to feel anything.
The real me is nothing special.
Im just like everybody else,
who deals with
Depression,
Anxiety,
and Selfharm.
Who deals with the daily hell,
that my mind creates.
Who deals with the pain
I look in the mirror and see the girl who is me.
I see her eyes, her mouth, and her almost perfect nose.
My eyes examine each flawed feature,
they overlook her beautiful eyelashes,
Holding u close as you breath for the first time
Looking deep into your new eyes
Walk you to the bus for the first day of school
Leavung love notes in your lunch box
Hoping your day is going just the way it should
They say the skies the limit,That nothing holds me back,But everything in life costs something,This is what I lack. I want to know what's out there,To see it for myself,But I'll be stuck here waiting,Forgotten by myself. Reality, it brakes me,It d
Eyes that are as blue as the ocean and as dark as the secrets they hide.
Hair that blows in the wind like floods from a roaring tide.
Hands that are soft like the petals of bright, Sunflowers in early June.
Rhythmic beating on a melancholy-moon-night
He sheds...the aftermath of guilt as he faces a new day of repetition; turmoil
Waiting to be saved by a savior saving those who save themselves
Dreaming, or thoughts of dreaming
Are my only hope.
We are all suffocating
Together.
In an empty place where
Whispers fill the space
Between knowing and believing.
Empty eyes, fuller minds.
If I left, would it be okay?
Like George said, I would miss music.
The kind that touches me
In an indescribable way
The kind that sends shivers
Crawling through my body
my skin tone, my weight should not be what defines meyou say I am privileged, or that I do not eatI care to much what society thinksbecause of the shoes that are on my feet
Have you ever looked at yourself through a mirror and realized that you didn't see the you that you imgained you'd be?
My name is Brandon and I am a runner.
I run, I work, I learn.
I am always moving, even while asleep, and love to be outdoors.
I love learning and growing and always knowing.
Every day I put a mask on my face.
I pick out my flaws and try to erase
The "imperfections" our society has set.
Impossible standards that have yet to be met.
So who am I behind the mask?
Rain bites
Wind blows
I fight
For a future
A better me
I do it without thee
Water runs
Rockets rise
I have seen many suns
And many moons
Rise and fall
Truth lies in the words we speak
Truth lies in the words we hear
Truth hides when lies are told
I remember the way the filters made me look,
so beauiful and delicate, something looking brand new.
I rermember how the tilt of the camera changed the entire view,
Don't glance at me with empty eyes,
I demand that double take from fiery irises directed at laugh lines and a squinty-eyed smile.
I am Flawless because i write,
I am me because of my height,
I praise the Lord each and everyday,
Even though somethings don't always go my way,
I still give him praise for all that he does,
Everday I wake up
it's all the same
thinking to myself, like when will it change
I want to see the world in a different way
Im done with the image we all portray
On this stage i stand,
Waiting for my cue.
Palms sweaty, knees shaking.
Nervous ball of emotion.
Curtains are drawn;
Face hidden from Embarressment
The music begins, and my heart stops.
It is in my darkest moments that I become religious. Not so that I can pray to the lord for better times, but so that I can blame anybody but myself. To blame some creator for problems I know I’m responsible for.
All you do is bring me down.
You told me I am ugly, a slut, a loser, and a monster.
I am no longer the moster.
I have finally learned how to accept myself, even if others despite me.
It all started with a ball and a dream,
One kick and run down the field and I wanted to be part of the team.
Sweat dripping and breath becoming faster,
I knew that one day this was the sport I would master.
I'm a Fake
I'm a facade
I'm not really here
I'm not really there
I'm not anywhere
The mask I wear
the shame I bare
its all covered up
see, I hide
Silent and still in her darkness she observed
The lights glowing in her milky way growing disturbed.
The stars jarred and jerked
Though their brilliant burn seemed all the same from planet Earth.
Pay attention to the eyes,
the windows to who she really is.
Meet Miss Hyde.
Spontaneous she is
Outspoken, yet respectful.
Life of the party and responsible
Definition of style,
I wish I could share
with you
the euphoria I get when
I’m really,
really high
on life.
It feels as if I’m apart from my body.
It’s like a million birds singing with me,
Do they dabble in trends?Dwell on the popular breed,No matter the way their stories bend?No matter the fruit of their seeds?
Living behind the curtain of the perfect girl is tough
Not telling anyone what is actually going on is tough
I've been through a lot in my short lifetime
A few years ago my best friend called me a slut behind my back
I wish they'd pay attention
to the girl behind the curtain.
The sleeping lion, overlooked
because the monkey does the tricks.
I know she wants to come out
But I'm nervous, and hold her in.
When I close my eyes
I'm travelling
with backpacks hanging off of me
they aren't heavy
because they're just enough
Independence;
What I strived for at the start of my first breath.
Eating, crawling, walking, talking,
by myself.
I longed for the day
when I could be free.
I felt so trapped
All those days, I lie awake at night
Begging for an answer to become clear
Collecting all these thoughts and life experiences
Doubting all the masks I present to people
A man once told me
He told me you see
That you can be anything
You wish to be
But what he says
And what I see
Are nothing but visions
Of obscurity
The mirror reveals
These hands of mine
Have collected the tears succeeding a painful tease
Fallen victim to a panic-induced squeeze Enfolded my weary, bruised knees.
But still continue to dance by my soul with ease.
I go through my days with a smile on my face, while I silently scream in my head.
Those around me don't know how badly I hurt inside.
Those who can see pretend they don't, they would rather think I really am happy.
As I sit in my pew
The same pew I've sat in since birth,
On the left
6 rows back
Close to the middle aisle,
I can't help but see
The woman in the back,
As she cuts her eyes
Truth be told abot me
Things you coul never dream to know
Wind is a trusty treasure that makes me feel free
Pay no attention to me;
I'm just a memory,
Just a child in a woman's body,
a nameless face in the proverbial sea.
But beneath the face,
I'm a fighter full of fire
and a scorpio.
Heads turn at the sound of young black woman’s heels clicking the cold parochial floors,
The ruthless power of her stride swings open solid cross laden wooden doors.
Tugging, pulling at the curtain
Waiting to come out.
Waiting for someone to push me. I’m certain
A solemn tribute to Society,
traveling in silence,
avoiding gazes, conflict.
Curtain of Camouflage.
Misinterpretation leads a nation,
deceit grows infectious,
killing souls day by day.
"I like the color blue and I like to read," I say.
They do not know it is the somber,
I only allow people to see finished products.
They don't understand the insanity.
They don't understand the process. Creativity has been linked to schizophrenia.
It's how we process thoughts.
Fresco painting fake faces onto my own
I
Cover my true self with layers of plastered
Self-consciousness
I want to be free
I want to
Peel back every
Doubt I’ve had on
Why my face
Everyone knows about first impressions
They are what determine whether you matter to them
Or just someone they will take up their time with
To create the next bit of gossip
Some people call me pedantic.
A soul-survivor,
Easy-going romantic.
But I'm worrisome
I can't have much fun,
'Cause what if my mom's the next one
Cryin' like the mommas of lost sons,
Sitting on the carpet of my square room, my mind raises the curtain.
I take a seat in the middle of a vacant theater. Encompassed by red leather, my mind previews.
Flashing before me, large and vast is Today.
Cookie Cutter! Cookie Cutter!
Everywhere I look, it’s Cookie Cutter!
This color’s in.
Those shoes are out.
I want to break the mold
My desire is to be bold
I long for individuality
"Shes strong beautiful has the whole world at her hands"
yet shes sad scared and surrounded by everyone yet feels so alone
"Shes Beautiful.."
She Cant stand to take full body pictures
"Shes confident"
My truth is that I am innocent
like an infant,
but I am intelligent.
I am mild,
wild;
I am so many things the world no longer values.
My truth is hidden behind a disguise,
its demise
Shy girl, heart on her sleeve, with a necessity for independence and to be outspoken. Typical.
Life progresses with human reaction
What you say now, what you do now
How you say it, how you mean it
‘You must be a role model for your generation’
Become poise incarnate
I dance to the rhythm of their hearts
I speak their tongue for they can understand the words that flow out
I bite my tongue so they don’t hear my inner thoughts
They say "I don't get it."
They say "I don't understand."
"How can someone erase themself,
Silently, a perminant end?"
"He was always so happy" they say,
"Always willing to lend a hand".
Sitting
on a rumbling train, emerging from the underground
humming into the New York City night, through the window I look.
Looking out through bolted windows to where my eye meets the end
Have it your way.
Or instead, let’s do it my way.
Leaving you, to suffer, to fail, and
To die.
Leaving you to run into your own
Enigmatic maze.
i've been staring at
a cold screen, a blank
sheet, an empty bed,
and a split mind.
torn down the middle--
i've been . . .
ripped--through--my center
It doesn't pay to be nice
People take advantagae
You pay the price
Weakness
There can't be any
Strengths there must be many
It is a cold world
Goons at every corner
Do you know the girl behind the mask?
Everyone thinks they do; they could not be more wrong.
Photography saved her when pain changed her,
Reality made her the very thing she had feared;
More, it says.
Posture straight, hair curled, eyebrows plucked,
You are a piece of art!
More, More, it says.
Teeth burning white, lips bloody red, nails buffed – clean with color,
A thousand yellow pairs of eyes
Peer into mine
With every year of life that passes
The s chained to my wrists
t
r
Someone smiling and someone shy.Someone who can just be seen pass by. I'm described as someone whos quiet and smart. Someone who's involved in music and art. Does anybody see who's behind this mask?
A friendly face,
for friends and family,
naive grins, boisterous laughs,
plastered across their visage.
A familiar fellow,
warm, kind, and blithe,
never a stranger, or visitor,
My mother earth gave me my shadow.
Her heart relished
in thieving light out of my body
the way that dusk takes wrinkled hands
and a sewing needle to stitch
the sun into the seam of the horizon.
I am bruised.
Let me shed my tears.
My life has been fused.
I wan to give.
No im just confused.
I want you to see my fears.
Im scared to live.
That I lived with all these years.
My façade is a lack of brainpower;
no matter,
just chatter.
Spinning hair,
nothing upstairs,
flighty,
sweet,
a vapid mystery,
a cherub to cherish,
a frilly, simple girl,
when i see myself the way everyone else sees me
i am walking down the hallway
smiling at everyone who passes;
We put our front to shield ourselves from the monsters on the outside
Worried about getting hurt again.
My past is filled with despair and depression,
And no one needs to row back there.
I’m
Broken up inside and I
Can’t tell you what’s
Wrong but I will
Try to let you see.
You’d
Hate me so much because I’m
Not what you dreamed and I
Am so sorry but you
Shuffles of papers of decks of cards
Rearrange, restage the stars.
“I like stars.” Reception: laughter.
He opens his eyes and looks at his reflection in the mirror
He is lost,He is confused,He questions… Who am I?
The answer is not one that is simple,But could be clarified with explanation
The gates have cracked
The walls have fallen
I don’t want to go back
I found myself here
I cannot let this go
Who am I?
A dancer, a singer
A tennis player, an athlete.
Lively, fun, energetic
Loving, caring, compassionate
On the outside I am just
A mom, getting divorced
Since the very first day I lived,
I looked out at everyone.
Each man focussed on his sin,
simply correcting what he had done.
Darkness falling on their souls,
concentrating on their wrong,
Expectations
a cage of too much potential
making my perceived achievements and resultant pride essential
Can I let go?
or does my satisfaction and ego hold me back?
Eighteen years of backstage passes
Sleepless nights spent looking after the home
Faked smiles while out,
bottled tears while alone
Smile.
Don’t let them in,
don’t let them see,
keep them all at arms’ length.
Perfect.
You
Must
Be
Perfect.
We live in a society
where hating ourselves
Me is nerd,
Myself is ornithophilous
I am determined.
Read, bird-watch, give my A game,
All these are in my name.
Studying is not only me
Playing with my birds is not only myself.
4:32 am
I sit up and look around my room only to see different shades of black, each just as lonely as the next.
Ever since my first breath I have always been different
In the eyes of others that is.
Bullied so ruthlessly I had to change schools.
I hide behind a silver cross that hangs from my neck,
My grandmother’s,
Because here atheism is a shameful word.
But it’s true, I don’t believe in God.
I don’t believe things are “meant to be,”
When people see me
They don't really see me
The smiles
The laughs
The "I-don't-really-give-a-fuck-about-it-all" attitude
Is what keeps me safe
Walk through the door and I hold my head high,
Never will they hear my defeated sigh.
Walk a little straighter, come on be a little stronger,
Stand a bit taller, you can hold on a little longer.
What scares me so much?
Sometimes, I don’t even know
I ask myself this question
Before I’m about to go-
Hide, leave, run from my fears.
Fears that I don’t even know how to describe.
What constitutes a mask?For me, bright eyes, dazzling smiles,and false perfectionsconceal the truth.
You can’t see me?
Good
I don’t want you to.
I stand behind this curtain
Behind this wall
So I am away from you
From your judgment
Because you don’t know who I am.
I am a great person
She sees it in their eyes as they decide
and turn their backs.
Tears trace black tracks
down her stony face.
Sadness sits on her like a second skin.
She pushes it, past vein and blood and bone.
Down
Everyday the sun will rise
Days, weeks, and months go by
Seasons change
Rain falls
Flowers bloom
and then they die.
People change
and so do you.
So be who you are
Every word someone says of how I want to dress,
of what I say,
is sharp
Dark
like poison and slow.
Flying with the wing of life
...While enduring the suffering
Much expediant expectations
...None the less, much reservations
I shall be firm and strong
...Although obstacles are ahead
I started
as a seed
small and strong
I was planted
watered
and given sunlight
but I was planted
later than usual
A few months later
the cold wind came
Standing behind the curtain,
So knowledgeable, yet so shy.
Afraid to be in front of the blazing lights,
But rather perform magic, in the darkness.
What is beyond the curtain?
staring at a crowd- a clique of friends
but, alas, I am not one of them
walking on the outskirts, outsider looking in
sitting in the back, needing some oil for my tin
congratulations I'm the first one
PASSION
DESIRE
FIRE
He warned me before i even knew it
he told me to run before i even knew it
but what the hell he gave me a run
the passion he gave me turned into something much more
Land of the free
Home of the brave
As long as you're white
And not transgender and certainly not a queer lady.
The world is filled with upset teens
Burdened with the pressure of perfection.
Always striving to be lean,
Breathe in
Breathe out
The exhale is a gust
blowing the pain of depression out
Bulimia catch the tale wind leave me please
No you bring me
right back to the beginning
Momma don't drink
A peek behind the curtains
A glimpse of where I lie
I'm blurry and uncertain
From now until I die
You could say that I'm the lion
On the steep ledge, i reached behind me
a flower appeared of the ordinary
as my eyes started to close
the world seemed to immediately freeze
i forced my lids open
and trembled in the cold quiet breeze
You'd be surprised to figure out who hides behind these lies,
You'd be surprised to figure out who smiles while in disguise,
It's me, the girl who you see smiling all the time,
The patterns of life are so lost
Just fragments and reflections
20 bucks but no cost
Kneel down and say your confessions
Once again I find my self
All I can Do is Hide
A Mask to me is a useful guide
There's a certain Safety I feel
I don't have to face the Past
I can make the Good times last
Disguising my pain, Just to Get by
I no longer see myself as I gaze at my reflection;
Instead there is someone disturbed, distressed, and decaying
A skeleton girl;
I wonder if they hear me,
Does anybody know?
Everything I keep inside
The things that I don't show.
It creeps in on me like darkness,
Almost impossible to see;
I'm running around in circles
Two sides of the same coin
yet so different
one puts a religious front
and the other a complete non believer
mother and father wouldnt approve
thanks to them my curtain is locked
fool proof
“You’re not in this alone. Let me break this awkward silence…”
Blared loud into eardrums
Eardrums of an emotionally unhinged fourteen year old boy
How do you see me?
Do you see me as a freak?
Is me being gone what you seek?
Do you even noticed me at all?
Am I just a bird waiting to fall?
To me,
I'm an outcast.
I talk to fast.
Grasping his cold, calloused hand tightly,
My throat squeezed itself even tighter.
I looked up with cloudy eyes and fading hope.
His eyes glazing with his own tears, he said my name.
Wear the makeup, act the part,
so no one sees your one true heart.
Keep it quiet and hide it good,
be the way you know you should.
Dress like this and talk like that,
even watch with who you chat.
He walked the halls with his chest puffed out
Everybody knew him as the head of the crowd.
His confident smile put warmth in a cold heart,
not a soul knowing his heart was the coldest one of all.
Keep my gaze down,Headphones glued in my ears.Smile at the right moments.Do the right moves, say the right lines,And no one will ever suspect a thing.No one will know that I struggle.
Deep inside the confines of my mind, deep inside is where I hide/ Afraid to reveal myself to the world, afraid of what they might say/ I am concealed behind a curtain, I find solace in the silence/ Alone I quietly read my books, alone I silently
Silently in the halls I walk
Thoughts and images crowd my head
No words exist to let me talk
Rogue feelings weigh me down like lead
I've built stories inside my head
I am hiding behind a wall I've made
A wall that tells me to be ashamed
Ashamed of who I really am inside
It tells me to shy away and hide
But I am who I am
And shouldn't have to give a damn
If I were a window,
could I let in only light?
Would you accept my faults and worries,
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude to me, is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what people think, say or do.
Windows shuttered
Blinds closed
Curtains drawn
Don't look in
Sealed up tight
Invisible me
Relaxed
Lonely
Sliver of light
Crack in the wall!
Warms the skin
Chalk dust fingers
and
Jell-o tongues
Aligned wearing
Pressed white shirts and sharp blue bows
hold
Bright coins that fall dull upon the ground
hold
Mountain lakes
Paragons of pristine peace
Who doesn’t enjoy an afternoon at their side
Seeing forests and clouds and sky
Reflected on the surface
Underneath perhaps all you see
A stone or so
I wish I could've told my rapist I'm fucking dangerous
Maybe if I did I wouldn't be going through this bull shit
4 years of a child's life taken and slaughtered
Hidden so deep that it's hard to find
In a deep dark place within my mind
Not a sliver of light can pass through
Come, enter the world behind the curtain,
Were the joy is diluted by the pain
Where the smiles are not constant and not everything is certain.
You never taught me to not let men beat and mutilate me.
You just sat there and watched; Is it because the same thing happpened to you?
Exactly like what they have done to you mommy.
I'm not the jock who is popular, cocky, and confident. I try to focus on others and try to make many happy. But I question, who makes me happy? My attention is towards others, not really myself, I cant show my true self, with anyone else.
I take a xanax here and there to escape my impending doom.
I've come to find that life is safer from the comfort of my room.
i walk onto the stage
i smile and i wave at the gathered people
my mom is in the front row, right in the center
my siblings sit beside her
my teachers from grade school
my professors from college
Woke up, hooped out of the bed then looked at the time
looked in the mirror, rubbed my eyes kinda shocked what i find
is this thing true, or is this some image that is trapped in my mind
Come and get them,All purpose, all colors, all liesAvailable from A.M to P.MMy lovely enterprise
A peice of me is broken inside.
The weakness is what I am trying to hide.
For years and years, I have been so strong,
I do not want people to know what is wrong.
Make-up and clothing brands are just objects to aid,
Since crawling out of my closetBuilt out of confusion and pubertyI realize that there was more than a doorThere was also a hole.
Behind the curtains you could find, a mystery so deep, no soul itself merely could define.
She was a beautiful disaster, awaiting to unfold.
Shielded from the bitterness of society, one that can be so cold.
When you look at me, you see the young girl with the baby face who is always smiling being nice to everyone because she is always there to help.
i lost myself
in my blanketed tomb
scars on my wrist
and pills on my tongue
couldn't breathe
although i tried
i tried and tried
Feeling numb.
Nothing reaches in but just sits.
You wish but don't change.
I want your sweet embrace.
The alternative is so lonley.
Why can't I open my hand
I don't do regular, I'm far from it
Just makes it sick to your stomach now don't it
I do stuff you couldn't do, it's too easy
When you hear of my illness baby it'll make you quesy
When I was born,
I was born as myself.
A unique little girl,
Unlike anyone else.
I was one of a kind,
Someone very special.
I was in charge of my life,
The queen of my own world.
I'm a flawless lady made of different parts, it's hard to find the words to start.
Everything about me screams flawless. Whether it's the way I walk with my head held high or the aroma I leave when I walk bye.
Here I am day after day wondering if he will come. I eagerly sit a the kitchen window waiting for this special person only to get stood up every time. I call and call but no answer.
Why am I here
I ask myself every day
To live, to love, to laugh maybe
I don't fully understand my purpose
Hopes of being something great
Dreams of being something amazing
I wonder how people see me
The curtain is pulled back.
Time to begin acting.
But no butterflies, no stage fright.
I am comfortable playing this part, for I do it often.
Acting is natural by now.
When you look at me,
What do you see?
You probably see just a daughter, and aunt, a sister,
A straight A student, a worker;
But these are not what defines me.
I am my passion and my love,
She who understand there is no shortcuts to any place worth going.
She who displays patience, ambition, and compassion to every idea in her life.
WHO really am I?
When my indentity is swallowen
From now becoming stolen
Because the bible told me I can't be gay
So that identity
Is hidden away...
And to make sure no one knows
A gaping pit of gossip, lies, and false faces,
Commanding our lives while depositing distrust, and paranoia.
My team, so tight knit, knowing each other so long,
Each sister victim can identify individual weaknesses.
I am perceived as sweet and innocent
No bad thoughts can cross my mind,
I am seen as smart and thoughtful,
People seek my intellect all the time
Always I wear a smile,
I did not wake up like this
I grew with love and happiness
my family kept me grounded and strong
my faith kept me where I belong
I might have my faults, don't we all?
Hidden behind my silent smile I stand aware.
Encourage the abuse of the tortured? I don’t dare.
But
I stare, and cry internally,
Yearn forever,
i am flawless because i wake up every morning and don't want to get out of bed
but i do anyways.
and every day, i wear my battle armour;
whether it's red lipstick or my combat boots
Flawless.
Flaws of the skin,
Flaws from within
Lost and damaged
Working hard to repair a mental image.
You did not wake up like this
You're currently looking in the mirror at a far cry from what it is.
The doors of a shuttered house stand closed
You walk up to the desiccated grounds
No true path
No sign of color or vivid life
No way to get past the hound
Wake up. Wake up.
Get dressed. Force myself to move. Make sure my arms are covered.
Trained ears,
Strong mind.
Studied mind,
Exercised mouth.
Hashtag: Feminist.
Hashtag: Liberal.
Hashtag: Woman.
Twitter, Facebook:
Platforms.
Say it.
Just say it.
What are you?
Why cant you make up your mind?
Just pick one?
Why do i have to decide
Cant i just enjoy this time
we are taught that happines is in the
future and so we must suffer in the now
"I'm fine." I smile as I reply,But really on the inside I am screaming, what a liar.I'm so unhappy I can barely breatheI numbly live my life, I can't feel anything.
Incorrect, pupil.
Thou shalt not reply in such a fashion.
The mannerism of erudite
is all but eradicated.
Thou shalt never reveal interest in school-
In teachers' wellbeing-
Expectations.
They control my life,
they control everyone's lives.
'Do better' they order.
I am quirky
I am loud
I am imperfect
I am awkward
I get nervous
I lose focus
I make mistakes
I get back up
I am powerful
I am strong
I believe in myself
There are six billion people,
Living in our world,
But imagine being lost,
In a sky of one hundred billion stars,
Because from where we stand,
None seem to differ,
There she was
Laying on her bed
Hair messed up
Makeup smeared
Beaten
No will to live
No strength to go on
No recognition of what self love was
I'm not the man behind the curtain,
but the Turtle behind the Shell.
How can I stop from being trampled on
when I can't even stand up for myself?
It's hard to stand on solid ground
Flawless is me,
because this is how God made me.
Flawless is me,
Because God made me this way,
And this is how i am gonna stay.
Flawless is me,
Because God loves me,
There’s never a day we go without social network
Social sites create many ways for people to make friends
“Double tap for a TBH”- Instagram, Retweet for a S/O- twitter
i wear bright clothing
so that i will not be seen
I win, I score, I get the prizes.
i never win friendship or love
My shining golden hair catches your eye.
Some will walk the earth without a thread on their back
They are destined to walk their own path
Others are covered; head to toe
Drowning in their own personal woe
Cowering behind their garbed facade
These people. These conceited, overbearing, ignorant people....my so called friends. I have spent over a year now with these people. I have shared beds with them. I've shared secrets. I have kissed some, I have hugged some.
A smile,
A laugh.
Calculative, precise.
"What a beautiful young Woman
you are,
ready to please
the perfect Man
that is required for a
Healthy
Happy
Normal
life."
You told me I'd be safe,
You told me I'd be free,
You said to take your hand and come with me.
I listened,
I swallowed,
I was filled with fear
Not knowing of the future that was near.
Behind the closed doors hides a little girl
She seems afraid and confused
She seems scared and alone
She seems weak and luckless
She seems odd and unwanted
She seems ugly and depressed
I look to the sky and think to myself,
What if I were anybody else,
I've lived this life for many years,
But yet I've kept the same two ears,
What if I were you?
What if you were me?
Who am I to hide behind
a dark red curtan time after time?
Who am I to act as if
I really don't have anger fits?
Who am I to just portray
a happy person day by day?
Who am I to smile bright
Older siblings, older cousins, older adults
everywhere.
Strict, proper, Catholic
everywhere.
No C's, no B's, A's
everywhere.
Do that! Do this! Grow up!
Everywhere.
Okay, I will.
pay all attention
to the girl up on the stage
all part of the show
imagination engaged
When your goneits like my world stops.when your gonemy head spins in loops.when your gonemy heart feels hollow.but only when your gone.
On the good side of the curtain,
I am the smiling, sweet girl that everyone can see.
On the bad side of the curtain,
I am the dying, angry girl that only I can view.
On the good side,
Looking in the mirror I stand and stare at my bare face
Not bothering to hide behind the mask that most girls wear
My fingertips glide over the surface of my face
With your two eyes and your two ears you can see and hear everything you fear
With your two arms and your two feet you will rejoice, victory or defeat
We werent born the same.
Everyone is different
mankind has flaws
Even the sky has lightning and thunder
but who is to say that isnt beautiful?
Some people may see the flaws in you
Not another love can compare to you,
Or was it even love at all?
I had your undivided attention at first,
Or was it only for the thirst?
Teacher, condemn me,
For I am not an athelete.
Classmates, bully me,
For I am not petite.
Break me down for what I cannot control.
Tear me apart for this illness that began at eleven years old.
This prison wall, this masquerade drains life
Every time I fall into it's trap.
I all alone build barriers from strife,
Though hurt inside I still force out a laugh
I paste a smile no matter what I feel
Quiet and shy, is how they see me,
but, is that who I am really?
Oh yes, there are things that they do not know,
thre are may things I choose not to show.
I don't need a degree in philosophy to know that I am Socrates.I don't need a degree in anthropology to know that I am a human Being.
I'll make my degree in business to question: Who's green money is this?
for the defintion of beauty
like the definition of art
cannot be defined
every wound and scar only to add to the shine
for all is valued
they may doubt it but I never will
Flaws are beautiful
Sometimes I show the real meThe one that no one ever seesThe one who doesn't know what see wantsThe one who rarely ever talksThis me doesn't know what to say
These walls I put up to protect,
In the end, only help to project.
This glass from which I hide behind,
Only reveals my truest mind.
I built a house around myself,
In order to present myself.
They tell me,
Do your homework, study well, and get good grades,
Not caring about what I feel,
Identifying me as a number, just another part of the machine,
Your beautiful mind is sick
You see yourself as less than you are
I know you think you're not worth a crap,
But your very being makes me glad
I hope you know you're worth more than a mountain of gold
I stand face to face,
With the person I was supposed to be.
In the mirror he stands there, a smile on his face,
While a frown graces my own.
Little ole' me
been hiding and hidng,
I think its time to come out and see?
NO MORE HIDING!
My sister chronicled her life in pictures
Of sports teams, school dances, and friends
Plastered across her walls.
My brother chronicled his in memorabilia
From sports games, movies, and family trips
Little, can one scrutinize the details of the face.
Simply due to the fact that none can see beneath the surface;
the truth hidden behind the curtain of semi-permeable membrane.
Behind this layer the real stage lies,
Are you ready to see what hides behind the curtain? Can you handle something so uncertain? All you can hear is laughter from her lips, and see a shadow moving her hips. Are you ready to pull the curtain? Are you ready for the uncertain?
I have always been friendly and very social
but after certain experiences I have learned to not reveal myself to everyone
I've lost many friends for being who I am
Honest, loyal, trustworthy, I did all that I can
She is self-absorbed
She can’t be bothered with your petty problems
She’s got shit to do
She likes to stay home then accuse her friends
Of leaving her out
I can’t chew on the thought that’s begot
Rotting inside like they thought I forgot
When they couldn’t see me gnashing my fangs
against my iron-wrought cage, the fangs, their bangs-
In case you didn't know it
I don't show it
I have a mask of my own
It doesn't cover up my face
or my race
but something of much more importance
Behind this mask is a person
Another student aggravated by the public school system.Another face in the hallways.Another awkward and quiet teenager.Another average student who doesn’t stand out.Another organism taking up oxygen on Earth.
Me.
I am a simple person.
I strive to be the best. Perfection.
I am dedicated. Strong. Proud.
I am smart. Beautiful. Joyous.
Me.
I am an intricate person.
I long for rest. Tranquility.
"small lips", "big nose", "pale face",
"big eyes", "small thighs", "fat in the wrong place",
"awkward", "strange", "too shy",
but "dont let them get to you", "dont you cry"
smile, smile, smile.
Sticks and stones may break my bones
but words will always hide me.
Letters interlocking in long chains,
linking, binding, sequestering away,
Dripping down the body like strings of slick pearls
Let's take a trip,
no a dip into
the past where
the sun showed,
where the dew on the
leaves of the grape vines
glowed.
Before echoes of the
railroad
pinged and clanged,
He wants to love but can not love
He walks the streets like the boy society thinks he is
Pain is deep it can not come out, Pain is deep it must stay in
He must not hurt a soul again
Deeply conflicted I cry out for help inside
Nowhere to escape there’s more to me than meets the eye
I try to run from self but from self you cannot hide
Deeply conflicted on a never ending ride
Do not be fooled by her disguises,
hidden beneath fake layers of herself,
there lies the real girl,
trapped within a small cage,
trying to break free,
spread her wings, and fly away.
I'm that girl.
That girl who smiles and walks with a skip in her step
who gets only As and Bs and and is involved in every club.
That girl who people like to be friends with
because she is bubbly
and fun.
It's all a lie.
People come and go buzzing around like little flies.
There is no school alike, but yet they are all the same.
They all spread rumors and play the same games.
Straight face, curved back
Deep breath in, and out again
That little blue dot on the wall has my attention
I squat down with the weight heavy on my shoulders;
Everything you say has so much meaning but I don't listen 'cause I don't want to think too much.
I hold my tongue because it’s proper,
And back out because I’ll lose.
I’m frightened at the idea,
That the world will hate my views.
FAILURE
I am bold, I am strong
I’ve been holding it back for too long
I am funny yet wise
The people that change for others are the people I despise
Roses are black,
while violets are blue,
How would you feel if no one loved you.
When I was a child I used to believe that I was alone.
Whether at school or my home.
Mirrors
And I remember being seven years old
Coming home from school the first time a boy called me ugly
She flies in the inner city.
Surrounded by different flocks, which one is best to join?
Colorful birds flying in the sky
Why can't she be more like them?
Wings, large and wide,
"You're weird!"- Who's weird? What's weird? The word weird is weird. How can we determine what a person is? Different seems bad now at days. Why? "You're weird!"- Who's weird?
Smile,
Wave hello,
Be friendly,
Be bold,
Be perfect.
They expect that from you,
So you give it to them.
“What’s wrong?”
They ask, if you only slightly frown.
Freedom is a word
that makes you think
of the past,
where freedom was trying to be a word,
that everybody needed,
that everybody wanted,
but did we get it?
NO!
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Obey my rules and it will all be fine my son
You like basketball, now take off that dancing shoe
Roses are red
Violets are pathetic
Behind the Curtain I hide,
No one would like my other side.
There is worry, sadness, and confusuion.
No one sees my happiness is just an illusion.
I am not the same person with friends and alone.
I stare at the mirror,
Trying to understand why everyone hates me so.
The people at school whispered and laughed.
The adults sneered and turned up their nose.
Surrounded by echoes,
There used to be a curtain
But I tore it down
This is who I am
Someone who thinks inside and outside the box
I used to be afraid, I use to be "different"
They used to make fun of me
There are so many secrets about life I will never know.
People walk around talking, dripping all their paint on the concrete. How muddling is that description?
A sorrowful painter never shows their work, wrapped in memories, connecting words unspoken.// Aching with attention, craving another stroke of the brush, gently gliding over rough canvases.// Leaking misery the paint drips, along with your
Halls. Long walls, windowless, and seeming to stretch for miles. There are people. Some familiar, and some strangers. Each face, friend and foe, I am afraid of.
Theres an artist behind this Idiot
Theres an Ocean beneath this pool and it's full of sharks
I present a calm surface because no one can fathom the depth
and once they stick a toe in and realize there is no bottom
I sit here,
thinking of the future
remembering the past
and longing for the passion of the present
I sit here,
unamused, broken down, and confused
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain,
He stands hollow and meek
Bear witness only to the façade of the curtain
It hides his faults, concealing truth,
Though I smile each time you see meAt a glance you say my eyes glistenI feel alone while thousands swarm around meThe tears filling the corners of my eyes plead for you to listenI swore they were all accidents
Black satin covers drapping over me
I push away, but the
Layers upon layers only suffocate me more
Deep trenches of black
Blind opportunities to
Seek further in finding my footsteps
I hide behind the Curtain
but People can still see
if they look hard
They will find me
I hide behind the Curtain
When I want them to know
What is bothering me
What hurts now
I will say this
You can make friends quickly
Other children being kind to you, they will
Offering you a spot in lunch generously
Oh that, how I miss
In your room, playing games happily
The true me is someone I'm still trying to discover. Although I'm only twenty-two years old, my mind often wonders; Am I on the right track to soon arrive at who I'm destined to be?
My mom likes to think I'm just like her
That I love crowds of people and constant noise
That I love calling all attention to myself
And that I like conflict
My mom thinks I hide my real self from the world
They say love is a drug.
It's no wonder I'm always so high.
I abuse too much, never sober enough.
His laugh is my cocaine, addictive and exhilarating.
When his lips meet mine, it's pure bliss
You see the Iron Empress
Who standing tall, stoic, regal.
She hides the Carefree Clown
Who could entertain for hours.
She hides the Lovesick Maid
Blinded by love unrequited.
Why do I hide
Afraid of what they will say
With their bright false smiles
Why do I try
To make myself like them
Even when I don't want to
Why do I laugh
When inside I cry
People judge what they see
It cannot be;
it cannot be.
I hide behind
the fear of unfair judgment
Afraid to show their
true colors.
Stop the hatred
and the prejudice
Have you ever thought?
This deep throbbing knot
It pulls and it pries
Deep inside the red door.
With a blink, a thought
Cold fingers on the knob
Did that get locked?
No muscles strong enough,
English is a language far too complex,
Ordinary man or scholar it will perplex.
It seems nothing will translate directly,
Because it cannot be expressed correctly.
Behind my mask is a girl who's afraid
This mask is what the bullies made
She can't even tell her best friends
She needs someone to make amends
For the pain she can't help but feel
Tell me about yourself.
Well I guess I'm perfect.
Well at least everyone says I am.
They say I'm perfect for my honor roll grades,
You always hear about the girl next door
The one you see on the walk to the corner store
That one you envy for being so perfect
Pain is something you don't detect
She has long beautiful blonde hair
Dreams hold my inner thoughts
From writing poetry beneath La Tour Eiffel to diving into the sky and touching the clouds
Welcome to the show.
I'm very glad you're here.
If you take the time to read my ryhme I'll tell you what I fear.
My mask creates a shroud of sorts.
A layer of deciet.
Stress, sadness, fear,wory. I have a mask to cover
that up. Boredom, anger, doubt, loneliness, confusion,
regret. I can hide it. There truly is no know emotion
It is time for me to speak, my head is filled with words,
But my mouth says otherwise.
My life contains unclimble peaks, out of this world,
But people tell me to clime to the skies.
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain,
he does not have a say in what I do or what words come out of my mouth.
He is only there for the effect.
I sometimes ask myself what I'm doing,
Intimidation is the wall that separates her from the truth
To fit in she dresses to impress the ones who call her “lame”
What is lame anyway? It’s only a describing word, like perplexed, or shamed, but what’s in your soul?
My poem is uninspired.
It is boring; it sounds tired.
You may like it for its tons of rhymes,
But trust me, it ain't worth your time.
Now, ain't ain't a word,
But it's a word many have heard.
I have always admired the strong.
We as a whole have been taught to idolize those who can carry the burden of thousands
and manage to exert unimaginable strength in pulling the corners of their lips into a smile.
The tripod is set, and the camera is rolling
Count down starts as time is on going.
I look at the Lens from deep within
Watching my viewers who can’t wait to begin.
1 view, 2 views 3 even 4
Live
Number your days and letter your words,
Take time to sit and listen to birds,
Nothing can last forever they say,
Black Crow Roar Me Your Song
Should I fly? Should i soar?
This bird stays caged no more
Like a phoenix, a fire lays dormant inside
Notes running frantically, jumbled up in my mind
Living a life of nothing but lies is living a life where everyone hides.
Hide behind those bright blue eyes, hide behind those clear blue cries.
She is strong she is bright she is thin she is light,
Bright lights blind her tired eyes
which have only just awoken
from a restless slumber
caked in disdain
The tedious transmutation
is set to begin
The blueprint is embedded in the sculptor’s mind
I told you
I love you
but the wind tore the words apart
they landed scrambled
in the ears of another man
they said something else.
Some words were like that.
I stay hidden behind this veil of lies,
to shelter myself from other's eyes.
They deserve not to see who I am,
why should they when not even I can?
I sence in ways others cannot,
theres this thing out there called honesty
and i tried to do it once with this kid who turned out to be just another flea
seriously fuck rhyming im very angry about this
The Crow's the one who tells the story
With fleeting ebony wings, he comes
To torment the mind
He brings all nightmares into reality
Fates ebony angel
His eyes see straight into the soul
I'm erratic, I'm happy, I'm hyper!
WATCH ME! I'm so full of JOY!
You see me laughing and joking?!
Please! Manipulate me, I am your toy!
Wait, the poison in my bloodstream has caused this?
I look in the mirror and I see my reflectionsGiving love and affection distorted all my transgressionsI'd give you my heart and act like I still can breathe
I am a secret
even to myself.
I am darker
than I can accept.
I chase butterflies
and good causes
to run from my
humanity.
My rules are set.
Morals.Ethics.
Mirror mirror on the wall
Do you see me thin and tall?
School is rough, the kids don't see
The person I'm truly destined to be
I try and smile or force a laugh
All behind a face that's masked
As an Autumn slowly secedes,
Partners of snowflakes begin their
Annual waltz amid the breeze.
While they but merrily glide,
There is something separate outside.
A roar from the audience
Turns my stomach into knot's
The curtain is lifted
And I am all they got.
The night was dark and the ground was cold
the day the rocks shifted and shook in their place,
breaking up buildings and streets and cars and
Look at my face:
She is the sun, all summer and youth -
light and warmth, all beauty and truth.
Flowing chiffon and flowering lace,
daisies and lilacs, all spring-time grace.
I am a solitary girl
In my own little world
But other people
Were always in my way
My parents tell me that
I am a free agent
I will never tie myself
Down to a guy
Push it down, the urge to run
Put on the mask, hide the real you
It's not like they care, anyone
The person who you become with them you rue.
Painted faces, glances backwards, whispering
I wear a mask, thick as leather
Beneah the seams fear keeps the mask together
No scars lie behind this invisible shield
A single word is all that's concealed
Who am I behind the mask?
no one ever dares to ask.
I have two diferent maks that I hide behind,
one for school where "I'm just fine"
one when I'm alone that one scares me,
I am true.
I am true to the person living inside of me.
I am loving.
I am comfortable in my own skin.
I am a fighter.
I fight for my wanting.
I never give up on challenges that hurt my being.
Hello,
Your seats will be in section C
Furthest to the left, third row.
If you have any questions don’t bother asking
Just enjoy the show
Tonight’s act features a girl misunderstood
Find me in this maze I call my home.
Remind me why I stay.
Lying about all the things I felt Yesterday.
Don’t look beyond the curtain’s edge,
Please leave the veil alone.
A secret girl is hidden there,
You’ll wish you’d never known.
Keep her there, and lock her up,
And never let her out,
Call it what you will, be it heartless or insanity,
But I find no point at all to exist.
It's been fun, in a way, just to be,
Yet on this I must insist.
1)It's funny how things always
Go from bad to even worse.
It's like everything She touches
Inherits her curse.
I was always perceived as a happy child
Because I always smiled
I never wanted my anger to show
I preferred to let my happiness glow
I tried looking on the positive side of life
Always arriving early,
ready to start the show.
Water bottles in hand,
Athletic trainers are always ready to go.
Early August practices,
in the heat of summer days.
Every sport is covered,
Always arriving early,
ready to start the show.
Water bottles in hand,
Athletic trainers are always ready to go.
Early August practices,
in the heat of summer days.
Every sport is covered,
Average American girl, that's what people see.
They feel as if they know me, but truly they do not.
Judging me like they judge a cover of a book.
Hurling rocks at me waiting for my complexion to break.
Bam, Bop, Slam.
The doors were shut tightly behind me.
Lock and key and keyed and locked.
It was this day that I left behind that I realized I was not meant to be a lover.
I was not meant to be a lawyer.
Do you remember that smile?
When my words jumped a mile a minute and I didn’t have to think before I said a thing
Do you remember madre?
How every day I would sing the same song?
Don’t you remember?
My fingers clutch at the curtains physically pulling with all my might to rip them open
But my mind keeps them closed
I draw all day
If only my work would pay.
Doodle all over the page
Assignments are a cage.
I'm an artist I should say.
I am not who I should be,
The way I put the me in mean,
Hurting those who on me lean,
Lord you must help me.
Being this way, a jerk
To those who look to me,
Lord please set me free,
I often hide
behind a false identity.
They think I'm boring,
because they don't know anything.
If they could only see me
for who I truly am.
But I won't allow it,
because sadly, I'm too fat.
If I tried, I could fly.
I'm sure of it.
If I tried, I could dance.
I know it.
But, I am here. Behind the world.
Waiting, waiting, waiting.
If I tried, I could cure cancer.
I have faith.
Inside i cannot hide,
it’s only an illusion that life is on my side.
The Hidden Masquerade
By: Darien Heminger
Sitting in her room thinking about the past
Wondering how life flew by so fast.
It might be nice.
That's what I've come to think, yes.
If I could buy myself some silky thick skin I'd spare no expense -
I'd wear it for days.
Many a chain store, botique and secondhand shop I've searched
A facade, that's all you see
A trick for you to believe
Behind the mask, I am
Waiting for you to realize
I am not the oblivious fool
Nor am I a wandering tool
What you do not see, I am
Has anyone ever told you don't let sex make you a mother before love makes you a wife?
If they haven't then thats the reality of life.
How do you distinguish between what is in front of or behind the curtain?
My mask is one of pure happiness. Strength. Resilience.
There's chaos:
I am happy
I am strong
I wear old coats of treason and
Smiles made of brittle silver on the Cliff. all
the Fish talk to me as if I am who I say I am.
They gobble it up one by one and I
hide away in the night with my words
When I first started my first job this past week, I never imagined myself crying everyday after work
The very first day of work I was a trainee and I was very nervous of course
On the outside,
People around me can see a large smile,
Which is planted on the "mask" I wear.
Those people are smiling as well.
They're laughing, joking around,
And sharing lasting memories.
I love you...
Im not just saying it so it can be spoken
but im saying it to be heard
dont misinterpret my feelings
cuz i mean what i said and i said that i love you.
"Lets get a selfie."
#__ #___ #___
What is #?
Is it a symbol of peace in which two fingers combine to make a conjent peace sign?
Is it to make your statement sound exciting to get likes?
You're beautiful. You may not see it, but every time I look at you, you captivate me like no one else.
Oh how I wish someone would find me
the real me
behind the cutian I stand
I see a petty man
but that is not me
I am not who you see
but you understand
you to must know I wish to be free
A shy girl who was often bullied;
criticized for the way she dressed,
way she talked, way she walked...
The leader of a world that no other person has seen;
She is a mastermind in hiding...
I am not just me, I am also we.
We have been here all along.
Protector, Innocence, and reason.
There is no fallacy here. No mask or curtain.
Just acceptance and innovation.
Many people are a 'we'
Maybe am just to shy,
or I might be a little too scared.
But no one really notices that am there.
I hide in the shadows ,
so I wont be bothered.
I just hope that one day these people actually get to know me.
It's amazing how many people you meet in this life.
How different they all are.
How attatched you can get to some,
Or how you detest the actions and quirks of others.
Then when you experience a loss or gain,
My curtain hides so much it has tears
Behind my big 18 year old happy body
There is a depression, overweight girl
The depression from a love who passed way too young
Shattered glass isn’t always what it seems, it chips and cracks
It was once one full piece, nothing could ripped away
I see storms of furry waves of the crashing sea
Don’t all people hide behind curtains?Ones that appear physical, invisible,Some even palpable.
How long can it take
For one to go insane?
Who knows? Don’t we all take
the trip down ‘Crazy Lane’
Things start to appear in your eyes
The truth is it’s all in your mind
I’m the person sits quietly listening to everyone
The one that they ignore never realizing I’m there
Wishing to come out from this cursed shell
For a second, pay attention
I can tell you that life is hard and easy
I can tell you stories about pain and happiness
I can tell you that these things exist in the same place
But would you believe me?
I accidentally let my mental illness define me.
I didn't mean for that to happen.
I don't believe in hiding the face that I am depressed,
that yes, it's a real thing,
Every day I wake up
My first thought is that I must put on my mask
I have to hide my imperfections for a society with a predilection towards perfection
I neglect food, sleep, my passions and needs
The Girl Behind Her Tears & Fears
18 years old, her mom walked out that door, she didnt want to be there anymore.
What if they find out?
What if they see?
The deepest despairs
that dwell in me?
What I don't show
They needn't know
All that they see,
It's weird to think I used to hate myself.
Look in the mirror, cringe and coil away from myself.
Ripping apart the person that is me.
Wishing away every little blemish and piece of skin.
You told me
You told me the blacker the berry the sweeter the juice.
But now I realize that not everybody has the same taste.
So your eyes partake of my identity and you spit me out of your mouth and exclaim
Somewhere inside of here
Is that sweet girl with sandy brown hair,
Living happily with no fears,
Trusting everyone that comes near.
But most never get the chance to meet this girl
I'm tossing stones of content through ears of the broken
So why do I feel so alone in crowded rooms,
My character's impotent.
I'm a stranger at home who can't find his place in life.
I'm a protector, though it may not seem
like this feeble stature can hold up the theme,
I strive to preserve, to keep and to hold
the balance of nature in all times and all folds.
MathThe one subject that I wish didn’t existThese numbers, they hate me, drive me insane!Why do they exist? They literally are labels and math should die.
Life hasn't been seen
At the age of sixteen.
Yet decisions must be made
Before the choices can be weighed.
I said i'm going to rise to the top of the mountain....wait wait wait...
I said I'm going to rise to the top of the mountain.
Stand on this stage declaring my Name,say.
Because I am a king, ayee.
Life hasn't been seen
At the age of sixteen.
Yet decisions must be made
Before the choices can be weighed.
I am dark
not only because of the color of my skin,
but also because of those who view me with
suspicion,
who see me as a criminal.
Do not judge me
based on your misconceptions of my race
I was never perfect
I was never strong
But I tried to be brave
My mask was not a good one
But people are easily fooled
Days went by and I got good at losing friends
I became scared
As the nights get longer
The days get shorter
The thoughts get deeper
And your mind starts to spin
The voices in your head start to scream and yell
You hold death in your hand
i know i cry for a lot of thing,stupid things, like you, and school and problem iv created in m head,and abanoned dreams.
But lately what i have been crying about most is
when i saw your body for the first time, i realized how war had torn you apart.
how many battes you had lost
on youre wrist
on youre thighs
how any fights accurred
on youre stomach
Smiles, jokes, laughter, and joy.
That’s what they see.
But there’s a monster brewing inside.
Lurking just beneath the surface.
I keep pushing him deeper and deeper inside.
Being invisible is easy.
Standing out is hard.
To blend into the background,
To never be seen.
It's time to unviel the beauty behind
This curtain of invisibility.
Life passes, and there you sit,
In reality, I'm a very cruel person.
I don't like to show it though, for I'm afraid it'd scare others away.
I have little to no sympathy, I cannot empathize with others at all.
I'm the cheerleading everyone hears yelling her heart out at every game.
The girl who helped send the softball team to state.
I'm the girl that's always smiling or laughing.
But at night I'm someone completely different.
Plants are like people,
They all come in different colors
Just like Whites, Asians or Hispanics
Come in all shades,
Like all the colors of people.
Just because I am Hispanic,
"Pay no attention to that man beind the curtain."
Why? Does he not have a story to tell?
Often times, we hide behind an image so appealing to others, we tend to loose ourselves.
Curtains are pulled for protection
To hide what we don’t want to be seen
To shade us from investigation
To protect us from reality
But is it any safer to be in the dark?
To stay in just one place?
I’m talking to you,
And I see the weight fall off your shoulders and onto your face
In his essay "Self-Reliance," Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote,
"Society is a joint-stock company, in which...The virtue in most request is conformity."
Is this not the same society that taught me that everyone was unique?
The curtains are closed,
The stage remains black,
Behind that,
Lays a child, who’s afraid to crack,
Out his shell, that rings bells that sound great,
Love ones’ ears listen while their minds venture,
Who am I
Behind the mask,
Just get to know me,
And you won't have to ask.
I'm like nobody else,
A snowflake of creation
An individual person
A source of inspiration.
The two inches of black above my eyes
another inch below my eyes
the glittery, creamy paint on my eyelids
the thick bird poop weighing my eyelashes down
the pink rosey apples on my cheeks
Everyday I slip behind the curtain.
The reason for this, I am not quite certain.
The girl everyone sees is not truly me,
It is who I am supposed to be.
O, what I can do with smoke and mirror.
I pry my eyes open to see
a strength beyond my own
keeping me locked in behind
a blanket yet unknown
This force that hides my thoughts, my life
from ones i love and dont
Such a trip tryna stay true to the real you
Stuck inside screaming through the thoughts and the feels too..
So you want to know the real me?
The part I've never let anyone see?
A girl resides inside my head,
living but close to being dead.
I keep her hidden, but she's not safe.
There's a person inside that's dying to get out
a person that noone knows about.
She's not average, she's far from it
She has struggled to be free for quite a bit.
Educated, tamed,
Regulated, restrained,
Selectively cultivated, and
Creatively drained.
“I know who you are! You sit in the front.”
A young lady sweet and full of life with ambition,
that is who I strive to be
but I guess I have mistaken
because what I have been told
doesn't reflect on my goal
but I now concede
Self-assured
confident
and competent
with straight A's.
Drowning in papers
and teenage angst
self-concious
broken
secret people pleaser
hopeless pessimist
This fabric, cloaks me in darkness….
The cage within my inner mind fights amongst my own thoughts
A whirl wind of confusion.
I wonder…
Did Confucius mean to be confusing in his proverbs?
“Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.”Because that man is not a man, or a woman,or a figment of your imagination.Just as I am not a man, or a woman,or a figment of my own imagination.
There's ME and there's the TITLE.
I'm a double agent in my own life.
Alone,
my demeanor is at odds.
I'm mad at the world...
I smile and sing exuberantly...
Late nights, early mornings
Staying up for days
How can you ever sleep?
The drugs keep me sane
Judge all you want
Finding myself with every hit
How can I not love it?
“The Prosecution Rests”
This room gets smaller by the second. I swear that my winter-wear was
underestimated. It seems cool when you’re on the outside, but as soon as
The picture is one I took on a trip across the Hudson. There was a girl posing. She had auburn highlights in her hair.
Under my sleeves there are scars you see
they were created so deep that they will never leave
constantly reminding me of how much I caused my family to grieve
under this smile you'll soon come to know
When there are veils
They cover our spirit
When we are hidden
No one can hear it
When there are veils
They cover my soul
I am hidden
And loosing control
The only me I enjoy is the me I like to hide.
The me not everyone sees is persistently making terrible puns, she makes bizarre faces and calls it fun.
I am a Pentecostal Christian.
Every day, walking around the halls of my high school, I feel lost.
Familiar faces try to assign identities to me.
They tell me I’m not good enough
The Loneliest Angel
She never wants anything to steal her joy
Her smile is always worn and her laugh always ringing
She never wants these things to be destroyed
It's all a sham, who gives a damn about my plan
I'm not a good friend because I can't be the person I really truly am
I'm quiet, but in a moments notice that can surely turn violent
Afraid to ask for counselAfraid of what they'll sayAfraid of being torn againAfraid of being away
Steady is not my emotionsSteady is not my heartSteady like the wind which isSteady not from the start
Judgement
An inevitable poison that humans dispense
The toxic language spoken by those that are mindless
And yet, I believe every word
the curtain ascends
red velvety facade
painted grin
alabaster eyes
spotlight illuminating
I turn away
the faces observe
eyes and gavels poised
Stand tall, straighten your toes
Student,
Your strides should be steady steps
Forward
School is a necessary distraction
Present your projects, prioritize,
Behind The Curtain,
stands Lydia Davis Jolley,
a percussionist.
Behind the curtain
stands a passion that burns
music is my life.
Behind The Curtain
stands me a dreamer
My classmates will admire my strength and ability to make it
Few in this day and age have integrity
Only those with a real vision can do it
"Listen?"
[I can never quite tell you
What it is I want to say
When you speak over me,
Air passing through my lips
Curtains have a vaery unique place in our world
Their soul purpose is to block something
To block something in particular out for everyone else to see
Who am I,
If I’m not me?
What am I,
If I can barely see?
Am I the blackest black?
Am I the whitest white?
Am I a shade of darkness?
Or am I a fluorescent light?
I am an actress
I wear paint on my face and masks to hide my appearance
I don't act like me
Or look like me
I am an actress
My characters vary of shape and size
I never know how I will be
Every day single,
I fake my life
Not in my morals,
or my personality.
What's fake are my emotions.
The ones that I choose to show, but in reality it's this mask I choose to wear.
I am in a masquerade.
Surrounded by masks;
Wearing a mask.
I live in a world without identity.
So why is it so hard to pull off this mask?
We as society conform by nature;
Carefully veiled behind my calm composure was a life I thought I deserved.
Misery, self-destruction and darkness.
I was in pain and somehow felt nothing at all.
Numbness, helplessness and silence.
He goes on through the motions
All he's got to show are tears
He'll be their perfect daughter
I imagine Life after death where we all reach enteral bliss
Death is scary but the only reason I accept it is because this can't be why we live
I pray god made his kingdom just for us
What lies behind my smile? Behind my
glinting eyes...?
You know that's a question I could answer for you,
but not to cliche you to death,
to tell you would be to kill you.
I know, I know
Cue the lights, draw the curtains.
I am the star of the show,
smiling big and bright for everyone to see,
making people laugh, always seeing the better side of me,
never too serious about learning or grades.
Who am I behind this mask?
Oh how you wonder and ask,
I am no one I reply
and I always try to deny
who I am inside.
so, as you have poked and pried
I begin to question
whether or not to be done
I have galaxies growing inside me.
I move on like light speed
You are nothing more than
A fleeting star blinking out.
The pain you think you caused is gone
Down a black hole never to be seen again.
In the beginning, I owned two masks. One was a Barbie, one was a Power Ranger.
Closely look inside the glass,
What will you find there?
That is the girl you always pass,
whose presence has become so rare.
Her heart once broken,
she was left so suddenly.
Everybody hides
behind something.
You may think you know everything about someone,
but there's something in them,
something you don't know.
I can bubble,
I can giggle,
This person I don't realize, who is she? Looking in to a mirror she seems real. Who is she really? She is like glass I can see right through her? The smiles on your face tell me you have a story.
Behind a mask I hide
Hidden from sight
A bright smile that lights up the night.
I try to keep quiet
As I scream behind gritted teeth
And know that my struggles are far
From over
How many times will I be told,
“Smile you may look prettier”, or
“You know what they say, you are what you eat”
All these expectations, these standards
I live with day in and day out
Every time the sky cries,
She rains too
For in the thunder, their voices echo
In the flashes, pieces flicker,
Yet never stay
And in each new drop, a new image
For her to see and not understand.
Sixty seconds till open curtain
Everyone will laugh I just know it
I should leave before it comes to this
Right?
Why reveal myself if I know I won't be accepted
Wrong
Perfection is a crutch
Fragile to the touch
Beautiful from a distance
But never amounting to much
I remember the crippling fear
“What when I crash and burn?”
I love to run, and jump, and twirl,
But what would others say
If I started acting like a little girl.
I love to sit and read for hours,
Alone and in the silence of my room,
“High school will be the best years of your life,”
or so I've been told.
Good grades and a good looking boyfriend
The girl you see each and everyday
You know exactly the one that I mean
Well the image of her is leading you astray,
She’s not the girl that she seems.
On the outside she may be all smiles
Who am I?I'm the girl in the corner that keeps her quiet and to herself.
I'm the girl that has the crush on that one cute popular guy in school.
Carefully, she wraps herself in her very own, invisible cloak, one just like how Harry Potter had except not quite
For only the innermost layer of her being is hidden, the one she’d only show when she was at home
Had I a thousand mouthes, a thousand tongues,
to speak endless streams of honeyed- or bitter- words to your heart, I would.
Oh, I would!
So, perchance (no matter how meek that chance), you will hear them and be inspired.
Blonde hair, hazel eyes.
So quiet, yet so funny... whats up with the sky?
Yellow, Blue, Purple...and Green...
All these colors we see in her jeans.
Tye-dye shirt, orange shoes...
Sometimes I feel like I am two people: the girl I am inside and the girl I portray to the world.
On the surface I am kind and loving, I seem to have no flaws, and I appear to have it all together.
This, however, is not the case.
I've worked so hard to get this far,
but to you it was worthless from the start.
I'm not good enough because of birth.
It's hard to believe my parents money
determines my worth.
I wish I were like Esther
The beautiful daughter of God
I wish I had her courage instead of this Facade
I'm so full of fire,
Burning with desire
To set these people free.
If this light dies within me
Look around you in the hallways
in the classrooms in the streets
Same people,
same clothes every day in sync
In a world where nothing's different
I am the girl everyone but me wants to be
They look at me with admiration
Only because they haven't seen the real me.
They all want my autograph
but they don't know how I write it
The things I read behind closed doors
made me who I am-
but how can I be what I have read if I cannot speak out loud?
There is a certain thing I seem to be
A manner sweet, and care put in my dress-
But deeper look would show I'm nearly free
Of qualities that I seem to possess.
Success was in my plan, they all would say
A wallflower, without a word,
A man, without security,
A look of sullen passivity, and yet,
Never a look is given return.
Sadness is met with hate,
No one wants sadness in their lives
A wallflower, without a word,
A man, without security,
A look of sullen passivity, and yet,
Never a look is given return.
Sadness is met with hate,
No one wants sadness in their lives
All they see is the poetry and the novels I carry around with me expecting no sense with my sensibility when they talk about technology or programming and I just sit there quietly.
Shy. Normal.
These are the masks that protect me from the rest of the world.
They can't see me.
Most of them have never seen me.
Sure, they've seen my outer shell, my mask,
Don't you have secrets you can't tell anybody?
Secrets you've kept like sacred promises?
All your life feels like an unopened box
If you let the light in, your demons escape.
"How was your day?"
"Okay."
Because "okay" is
Less of a lie
Than "Good" or even
"Fine."
O
K
A
Y.
Each letter is thick,
Another layer between
Me and the world.
Every little girl knows what it’s like. To be bullied by the bigger kids on the playground; to get pushed off the swings, get her pigtails pulled and get yanked from the slide. But that same little girl knows what it’s like.
They’re spelling beautiful wrong these days.
It’s not B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L, it’s B-A-L-D.
It’s the gown with the bows in the back,
The mint green color that’s trending this summer.
The universe where entropy increases, chaos is truth.
I am the strong and the weak force which try to stabilize the inner elements of the heavens,
Avert thine eyes
From these cold stars sculpted upon my face
From my arms painted fools gold
Avert thine eyes
From these hands of obsisidon
From this mouth full of bitter fruit
I Just want you to know who I am
Who I've been all along
Not afraid of rejection
Not afraid of what you think
But I never say anything
I run and hide
I don't want you to think any different of me
I've always hid behind the curtain
Walls of every color
Too afraid for them to know the real me
Afraid of acceptance
Afraid of appreciation
Afraid it won't be the same
But now it's time they know
I am a 17 year old 'big girl' who stares at the media and looks at what appears to be considered perfect.
I understand that not one person is perfect because it's the media that gives us this image an image with a label.
They say one door opens another closes
But it seems I’m stuck in the threshold
Drag me down an empty hallway
One fool’s junk another’s gold
Suck it up for the onlookers
Like I’m having a grand time
You don't know me
I hide who I truley am
I act different around everyone
I say what others what me to say
I can't make you change
I can't make you love
I can't make you be who you were
I can't make you be everything
I can't make you love me
Make me believe
Make me trust
Can you feel my heart beat
Out under the moonlight
Can you see the Horizon
As the sun begins to rise
Can you Feel this love
Right here you and I
Can you be my one and only
Can you be my forever
Will you walk away?
Would you walk on by
If I ignored you now
would you say goodbye?
Would you tell me it's not me you love anymore
If I asked you to
Will you stay?
Let's make this last forever
You're so Delerious
Let's be serious
It's you and me
Take what you want
All of me
I have what I need
All of you
Take off your clothes
Let's take a drive
Me in the passenger seat
The taste of Alcohol and ciggarettes on your breath
It's summer crusing
Summer Dreaming
With you
Take me away
Back to the ocean
(Verse 1)
Day by day.
I'm so glad you left.
My life hasn't been better since that day.
When you said goodbye.
You walked out.
I cried.
It hurt so bad.
(Verse one)
Do you remember when it was just me and you?
On that hot July afternoon
You took me by the hand
led me into the woods
And whispered "I love you"
When it's after midnight and you're next to him and he just looks at you, the moon making his eyes look like stars. It feels like the moment is just frozen right there.
I will not love.At least not you.My life has gone.Passed me byToo many tears.So much painI will try to learn to love againBut not for you.
(Verse 1)
I promised to wait for you.
You wasted my time,
and took too long.
I decided to move on.
I'm no longer yours.
Spended too much time waiting for you to come around and take me away.
(Verse 1)
Just one wrong word.
Can turn this all around.
End everything we ever had.
Destroy the love that we always dreamed of.
I don't wanna be the one wanting you back.
(Verse 1)
I thought we might of had another chance.
But you're already gone.
I wish I could go back to the start of it all.
I didn't realize how easily you could move on.
(Verse 1)
So many things to say.
Always holding back...
Every last word.
There's so much I wish I could just finally tell you.
Like the way I love you.
(Verse One)
You set my heart burning up in flames .
You just drive me insane.
You'll never understand how this was never love,
that I was feeling.
Put on a Mask,
No one will notice,
It’s not like they would care
Put on a Mask,
It is okay to hide,
Your feelings you mustn’t share
Put on a Mask,
Everything is fine,
Not a curtain, not a shell, not a wall, but a heart
It’s not about coming out; it’s about coming in
The special about ones personality it’s that’s unique
Who am I….
The smile on my face
The curve of my hips
The rise of my breast
Or the luscious of my lips
Misogyny
By Bre Jon Harris
I am me not what they portray me to be
Misogyny
What’s that???
Hatred for women I see
Politically
Does this strengthen the legitimacy?
I am from scorching heat and dried roots,
From tumble weeds and one great salty lake,
Surrounded by tall mountain walls,
I am from a small, sparkling city in a bowl shaped valey,
The fear of growing old can effect a person extremely, one does not grow old to be closer to death, but one step closer to eternal life.
Who am I?
I can’t tell you even if I try
I want to be the real me
But if you look then you would see
All the hurt and pain
All the lies and the crazy times
It all was for his gain
I'm not a robot, I have my thoughts
Don't always show them, it's a little tough
I feel so tongue tied, get stomach knots
from my big fear of not being good enough.
This mask I wear must now come off
Oh, little miss perfect
Fears and doubt cloud my every thought
What I am scared of?
I often ask myself,
a morbid question I do admit:
When my life is done,
when my memorial candle is lit,
what will be my eulogy,
How will they remember me?
I often fear that
Have I ever told you what it feels like to be in the eye of a hurricane?What it feels like to be washed ashore by the powerful tentacles of a monsoon?Have I?
All along, throughout my life, I have followed a piece of advice.
"Be brave, be smart, and have a kind heart"
Something my dad created to make me sophisticated.
It is an inspiration
Faint smile and emerald eyes,
and yet myself I sometimes despise.
Cold limbs and delicate thoughts,
and yet my love I sometimes let rot.
Active pulse and steady breathing,
I hide behind a curtain
I try to conceal my fears
I smile on the outside
I deceive my fellow peers
I am dying in a prison
I am trapped inside my mind
Thirsty souls pleading for a way in.
And a wall obstructing the view and revealing all their sin.
Desperate lives, thriving on what lies beyond the wall.
I choose life over death. I choose living with the rest.
Fighting, fighting through hell. Ringing all these bells for help.
“Moi et mon Rideau ” (Me and my Curtain)
So you ask why, a poet like myself, is hiding behind a curtain,
It’s simple; it’s a security blanket.
A beautiful, healthy city
Fallen to its pity
Not fallen; but pushed
by all she trusted.
War shook the ground,
Soldiers fallen, retreated, vanished.
Like a bomb's lingering smoke
Never confident in my skin
Thinking of who I could have been
Tried to blend into the scene
To be a prop, a little thing
Hiding from the judgment and hate
Worried even about the things I ate
Thirty minutes.Things are going okay so far.They're not great, but you haven't had a meltdown.
Twenty-five minutes.And everything comes crashing down.Here come the tears.
We're all trying to be someone we're not.
But I can say I'm not.
Being yourself, is the best you can be.
I don't hide myself from anyone.
I wear my heart on my sleeve.
I am who I am,
I hide behind a mask, made of plastic smiles
I hide behind the success that I feel I need
Everyone around me, rushes through the day
But never takes a moment to talk and hear what I have to say
I have always been one to hide from the world. Never been a popular girl, I would hide myself from the world in my room. Behind the door I would lay in bed with the lights off, turn on a tune, and slowly let my thoughts carry me away.
Out loud I tell people that I'm
German
Russian
Italian.
However I'm not,
not knowing my heritage
or nationality
in school I made it up.
Thinking that was so cool.
Behind these blue eyes are much more than you know
Smiling, twinkling, and glowing is not always what they show
Once upon a time, my mother's words would enlighten me.
Now life's obstacles frighten me
I pray to the skies hoping that these evil spirits could be harnessed
and my soul could escape this never ending darkness
A flower doesn’t concern itself with the one beside it
It grows independently in time,
Who am I when nobody sees?
When the wall crumbles what will you see?
Who am I when no one is watching?
What will you hear when I stop talking?
I am silly when nobody sees.
"I love baking, singing, and running but not all at once," says Instagram.
Snapchat calls me "pbfanatic" which is acceptable enough.
Peers would describe me as smart, quiet, polite as a lamb.
Why did you leave me behind?
Was is becase of your pain?
Or was it because of mine?
I wish you could of talked to me,
before you left me behind.
I miss you daily,
To my birth mom:
you let me go
Left me behind
Like I’m not yours
How could I grow
The thought of you crosses my mind
Creating these wars
To my mom and aunt:
All my life I’ve been told
Nothing but good things
How smart, funny, and handsome I am
The success I’ll bring
She grew up being told to be honest
She knew she had to be her best
She was told ‘fight for what you believe in’
She spoke her mind far too often
Now she’s being told to be silent
Helpless.
An intense electrical pain filters through my scared body.
My unlucky limbs become violently uncontrollable.
Shaking.
Trembling.
Tense.
Afraid.
I scream in my head for it to stop!
I am someone who can find beauty in the strangest places. The bush outside that has gone away for the winter. All alone, with no leaves to keep it company during the long cold season.
There's always voices calling my name,
not in whispers but in yells.
They're always telling me which direction to take and which to not,
the voices don't allow for mistakes,
no they only accept perfection.
When I was five years old,
I believed the fairytales;
Prince Charming would come save me,
and love could never fail.
I thought that every bad guy
would be easy to see.
So tell me that I’m “dark skin” and that I’m not considered cuteTell me that my hair is too kinky and not good enough for you.Tell me that everything that makes me me, makes me less of a person
I find myself in a vast dessert of uncertainty.
Unable to tell my moments of clarity and sense of direction
from the many mirages that block my path.
My steps were once loud and clear with conviction,
I am not me. I am not who I am. I come from almost nothing. Trying to be something.
But what can I do? Whom can I seek? I can't find myself, I can't find me.
With you
there are no words to say.
you seem to
take my breathe away.
I finally
took
a
chance,
and you,
gave me
a
second
glance.
Pull back the curtain and I am the girl who dances alone in the house, in her underwear, music blaring.
Not a care in the world. Singing and swaying to the music.
Silly. Fun. Happy.
Alive.
I hide behind the people
Always acting so composed,
I hide behind the mirror
My true self undisclosed,
I hide behind the curtain
No one knowing that I posed,
I hid behind my bones and skin
Every human wears a veil,
It is one that we choose to wear,
Not because we want to, or because it's fair,
But because we seem to think on a much bigger scale
It's partially true, I don't know who I am,
The hours run into days
The days drone into years.
When will I finish this endless race?
"You are going to succeed and do great"
"We all have such high expectations"
My family brims with pride.
there was a me before you
just as i know there will be a me after you
after all we are seperate people
with seperate thoughts
and seperate souls
and beliefs and ideas
and likes and dislikes
I have a secret identity
I don't want others to see
You need a key
To set me free
I have a big weakness
I can't love myself
I have my uniqueness
But is there anything else?
I am the hidden girl.
Hidden behind my curtain of shame.
The girl that people don't notice,
The person who follows the crowd,
The one who is too shy to be heard,
The human afraid of making mistakes.
Feel the heat, feel the heat;
Let the souls of the damned surround;
From the first and the last;
Feel the heat of their fires abound;
Free from the system we crave;
To explore the sensual magic we've found.
Yes, Of Course, Please, and Thank You,
The United States Department of E-D-U,
Yes, Of Course, Please, and Thank You,
In their grand benevolence is delighted to do,
Yes, Of Course, Please, and Thank You,
Little girl lost and alone
Won’t pick up the phone
Too scared to go back home
The bottles kept stacking up
Daddy didn’t you have enough
Anger grew, We all knew
What he was going to do to you
Here’s the funny thing about society;
They tell you to be yourself, and you’re beautiful the way you are
I build these walls; trap myself, so nobody can enter.
I’m scared to let anyone in, save me, and become my center.
With my walls up and feelings shut down, I feel so alone.
Silent in the crowded places
Quiet in the lonely places
Hidden in plain sight
Unknown to most of the world
Secrets hidden inside me
I stepped behind the curtain,
not liking what I saw.
It's hard to be someone
when I'm no one at all.
Seven billion and counting
turns me into a ghost.
I count on my ten fingers
They ask, "How can she not read, the message that is clearer
Being everybody else, but the girl in the mirror?"
Well read between the lines
Of her story, and you'll find...
As the panic hits and my anxiety rises
My head starts to pound as I prepare my guises.
"I'm fine, I swear," I promise my friends
While my lungs close up as I think about odds and ends.
Innocence lost
Facade found
Three year olds do remember
Who would have thought?
Tough
Growing tougher
Growing up
Growing out
Thoughts and thoughts running through my head
I want to share them but fear the feedback of society;
I'm usually one to keep to herself, but
sometimes I like to be heard.
Pay no attention to the girl behind the curtainCuz boy I am certainYou'll have a little more interest in the one who's out flirtin'That twitch of her hips, you want her so bad it's hurtin'
I was never that girlI'll never be that girlI broke heartsnot the other way aroundI slid in and out of these poor boys lives like the devil in disguise
You see her laugh
but you never see when she cries
You see her jump
but you never see her fall
You see so little with those 'things' we call eyes
becasue as humans we have learned to disguise
