Eighteen years of backstage passes

     Sleepless nights spent looking after the home

Faked smiles while out,

     bottled tears while alone

Caught under a canopy of cigarette smoke and liquored breath,

      liquored breath I know too well;

It always asks the same of me 

     "When will you take after your father?"

Envy has grabbed me by the hand

     I share my father with thousands of others and they are his priority

Music is his life; the reason his heart still beats

     Although he loves me I will always be in second place

We mark our calendar by his schedule

     We follow seasons by festivals

My Thursdays are held captive by lessons I'm not sure I want to take

     Do I have the fire inside me or am I just doing what others say?

My father is fluent in the language of music

     so are those I care about

They have a fire inside that I would give anything to feel

     but no one questions my drive, afterall, it is my destiny

I am faced with an ongoing tug-of-war

     I push myself to write pieces that no one will hear 

I am a behind-the-scenes girl living a front-and-center life

    and I'll never know what it's like to be me